Who's the writer?

"Chicago Sports Columnist"

The mind truly is a terrible thing to waste. In some cases, an even scarier place to visit. Welcome to the world of ..., where you enter at your own risk. He's regimented enough to eat the same pregame meal of peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches every day, he's able to flip some sort of intensity switch during batting practice that makes him almost unapproachable come game time -- even with teammates -- and when he does smile -- a sight not seen by many in the clubhouse -- it resembles the smirk of someone who knows something you don't, or that of a serial killer.
*****
In other news,
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