BRICKHEAD OZZIE NEEDS TO GET OUTTA TOWN

by KINGCOACH on Oct 12, 2008 1:26 AM CDT

here are the accomplishments of your lost in spcae manager:

1. as a player, he started out 9th in the batting order.. & NEVER EVER MOVED OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE BATTING ORDER IN 13 YEARS!!!
2. he had an unremarkable mediocre lifetime BA of   .264, which says it all.
3. he was an above average fielder, but not what you might compare to OMAR VIZQUEL or half a dozen others who were clearly superior to OZZIE. in fact i do not rate him among the top 5 WHITE SOX SS of all time, behind APPLING, CARRASQUEL, APARICIO, HANSEN, & KESSINGER.
4. i called him "the black hole" when he played.. rallies went into the bottom of the order- but they never came out.
5. HE WAS THE ULTIMATE HACK POSTER CHILD- averaging 1W/32AB & .287 OBP.. i find it hilarious that last year he was grieving on JUAN URIBE FOR DOING BASICALLY THE SAME THING HE DID FOR 13 YEARS (whose lifetime averages are 1W/18AB & .295 OBP).. he was far worse than the player he is criticizing.. & everyone is hollering for URIBE'S head after only his 3rd year here.. OZZIE did the same thing for 4 times as long, yet i did not hear anywhere NEAR the clamor for his head (outside of myself) that i heard for URIBE's.. don't you think that is strange?
6. HE ACHIEVED ONE OF THE MOST IMPOSSIBLE FEATS IN THE HISTORY OF MODERN MLB.. GOING 251 (!!!) CONSECUTIVE AB WITHOUT A WALK!!! how can a player go half a season without a walk?!?! that is on the same level as an MLB baseball team NEVER   winning the WORLD SERIES in 100 (o n e   h u n d r e d !!) YEARS ... IT IS A STATISTICAL ANOMALY WHICH DEFIES ALL LAWS OF AVERAGES!! virtually impossible to accomplish, yet there it is staring you in the face!!! IT WON'T GO AWAY!!
7. in the 25 years since i first heard him speak on tv after he was traded from the PADRES to the   WHITE SOX ... HIS ENGLISH HAS NOT IMPROVED ONE OUNCE!!! JUST LIKE HIS LEVEL OF EXCELLENCE ON THE FIELD, HE GOT TO A CERTAIN LEVEL OF MEDIOCRITY & THEN NEVER TRIED TO IMPROVE.. THE SAD ASSUMPTION IS HE NEVER FELT THE NEED TO MAKE THE EFFORT TO IMPROVE.. which is the most damning accusation you can make of a player.. to say nothing of a manager..

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Comments

I realize that this is probably a farce anyway

But what the fuck, #7? You’re going to judge a man’s character and managing abilities based on his ability to acquire and speak a foreign language with a native accent? How about you go to Venezuela, get a job there, and try to flawlessly speak Spanish with a native accent and without a shitload of formal instruction? It won’t happen. Ever (unless you’re still 10 years old, which, judging by the composition of your post, seems entirely plausible).

Also, why the fuck does it even matter? His English is sufficient, I know what he’s saying 99% of the time (incidentally, I understood less of your post).

FURTHERMORE, why do Ozzie’s accomplishments (or lack thereof) as a player matter? Oh, wait — what’s that? They don’t? Holy shit. Who would’ve thought that a man’s ability to hit a baseball has absolutely nothing to do with his ability to manage a baseball team?

In conclusion, I probably wasted too many words on this post.

by mjthor on Oct 12, 2008 2:23 AM CDT reply actions

BRICKHEAD OZZIE

if i went to venezuela 25 years ago, i definitely would have learned the language in the first 2 years.. definitely tried VERY hard to speak like a native.. much more so than ozzie.. what is stopping the moron from getting a tutor & try to speak pooty goo now? may i introduce you to 10.000 mexican 10 year old girls here in chicago who speak english better than he does? who you kidding you can understand him 99% of the time.. get real! his english is not any where sufficient.. especially when the SOX play bad, or he makes some idiotic move ina game, & he’s starts talking real fast because he is blowing smoke up our ass. you completely ignore my pointing to his prejudices and mishandling of BRIAN ANDERSON.. the basic premise about his not being a smart manager nor does he handle the players as good as other managers is rock-solid.. watch the managers still in the playoffs.. they are nothing like OZZIE..
the guy has been stealing money ever since the day he went after MAGGLIO ORDONEZ the first day he returned to chicago.. i’m guessing you missed that one.. so here it is: he ranted like a 26th street gangbanger when he said “what the fuck did he say?!? he said that? fuck that motherfucking faggot!! the next time i see him i’m gonna fuck him up!!” HUH?!!? this is how the manager of MY CHICCAGO WHITE SOX talks? on the air? for millions to hear?!?! as the general manager or owner of the team..that was grounds for dismissal ..instead REINSDORK is nowhere to be seen or heard..MLB should have disciplined him.. i never heard ANY person in a baseball uniform talk like that in front of tv cameras.. every day after that he is the manager is an insult to all WHITE SOX nation. that is not how ANY manager ever spoke about anyone concerning anything… if you ever hear anyone speak like that on the air again, i guarantee they won’t have a job the next day.. that is the definition of a weeniedeluxe, with cole slaw and french fries.
i never mentioned his ability to hit a baseball as being part of the qualification of being a manager.. you did.. i spoke of his baseball acumen.. which was zero.. 251 AB without a walk is also a an astounding accomplishment.. virtually impossible to do.. but he did it. you coveniently ignore that..
real men in respected positions of power & don’t talk like that about other men.. especially on the air.but i have the utmost confidence you’ll get tired of him.. it’s just a matter of time.. you will finally realize the emperor has no clothes.

by KINGCOACH on Oct 12, 2008 10:30 PM CDT up reply actions

BFICKHEAD OZZIE CHICCAGO WHITE SOX

I’m not going to address the actual content of your post, but I’ll offer just a few tips for future communication with, ya know, people:

1. People like correct use of punctuation and structure (i.e. paragraph breaks, sentences without a thousand ellipses). It makes your asinine ramblings seem less asinine.
2. CRUISE CONTROL
3. It helps your argument when you can spell “Chicago” correctly. Even a quick proofread before you submit can keep you from looking like a moron.
4. Think about what you say. Seriously. Think really hard.
5. Think about what you say. Again.
6. ????
7. Profit!!!

This is the most sincere advice I’ve ever offered, so please take it to heart and try your absolute hardest to follow it in the future. Okay? Thanks.

by mjthor on Oct 12, 2008 11:15 PM CDT up reply actions

aaaand I'm done feeding trolls.

by mjthor on Oct 12, 2008 11:15 PM CDT up reply actions

flagged for complete misuse of "The Emporer's New Clothes"

"Deserve's got nothin to do with it."

by U-God on Oct 12, 2008 11:15 PM CDT up reply actions

I was reading until you said White Sox Nation. It is offical, you are a douchnozzle.

Go post on an ESPN blog, your xenophobic and ill informed shit will play better over there.

this isn't hard. you live in a port city. and you're a slut. do the math. -larry

by rhythm on Oct 13, 2008 11:52 AM CDT up reply actions

your xenophobic rants aren't welcome here

go attend a sarah palin rally

by onlysoxfaninboston on Oct 18, 2008 12:45 PM CDT up reply actions

Flagged

for tired line.

I think i did this wrong. Oh well…..delete my votes as they all suck anyway.
Kenwo4life=ratings
by KenWo4LiFe on Oct 10, 2008 2:02 AM EDT

by winningugly on Oct 18, 2008 1:41 PM CDT up reply actions

flagged for ant-truth sentiment.

the only issue now is whether i make it out of hampton alive.

by Toonderstrook on Oct 18, 2008 2:11 PM CDT up reply actions

i couldn't help myself man

just noticed that soxmachine has a parody post, should’ve read that instead.

been out of touch, are the sox getting peavy for Q???

by onlysoxfaninboston on Oct 18, 2008 2:14 PM CDT up reply actions

please go away.

by larry on Oct 12, 2008 8:39 AM CDT reply actions

So by your logic

Ted Williams should have been an amazing manager

"Deserve's got nothin to do with it."

by U-God on Oct 12, 2008 10:20 AM CDT reply actions

Completely dismantling his "argument" further

Some lifetime batting averages of successful managers:

Tony La Russa: .199.
Bobby Cox: .225.
Ron Gardenhire: .232
Sparky Anderson: .218
Jim Leyland: Never got out of the minors.

Of course, there’s not much point bringing this up because it’s clear he’s just trying to justify his xenophobia. If anything, this makes me like Ozzie more, considering this is probably the kind of garbage he gets in his email.

EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine

by Sox Machine on Oct 12, 2008 11:06 AM CDT up reply actions

between this and the e-mails ozzie gets from the likes of colin and hsa, i don't know how he does it.

"well, i'm sure i'd feel much worse if i weren't under such heavy sedation."

by Toonderstrook on Oct 12, 2008 11:10 AM CDT up reply actions

hey, at least i throw some nudie attachments into mine.

...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.

by homesickalien on Oct 12, 2008 12:08 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

(so i will be taken more seriously)

...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.

by homesickalien on Oct 12, 2008 12:08 PM CDT up reply actions

That, and they double as your business card.

EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine

by Sox Machine on Oct 12, 2008 12:11 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

very true. i had forgotten that i sent you an email before...

...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.

by homesickalien on Oct 12, 2008 12:29 PM CDT up reply actions

please e-mail me about the, uh, thing that i was asking you about, uh, before or whatever.

You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.

by MarketMaker on Oct 12, 2008 9:53 PM CDT up reply actions

can I get a cc on that?

this isn't hard. you live in a port city. and you're a slut. do the math. -larry

by rhythm on Oct 13, 2008 11:56 AM CDT up reply actions

he was my favorite player when i was little

for reasons i can’t even remember, though i want to say it had to do with the number 13.

could also do with the fact that i sucked at baseball and played shortstop, so maybe i felt a bond there too.

either way, i remember when my dad came home from work one day and told me ozzie had been named manager us both being really excited and happy about it. i still feel that way.

"Deserve's got nothin to do with it."

by U-God on Oct 12, 2008 11:15 AM CDT up reply actions

agreed.

...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.

by homesickalien on Oct 12, 2008 12:09 PM CDT up reply actions

BRICKHEAD OZZIE

talk about taking one shred of an argument and running in the wrong direction with it.. never said BA was a standard for being a manager.. baseball knowledge is.. and he has none.. he was one of those guys like SAMMY SOSA & SHAWON DUNSTON who led the league in “having the greatest physical skills and doing the least with them”.. in other words a brickhead.
dance with the brickhead.. in the meantime if you think this guy is going to lead you to the promised land.. ain’t happening. since he is just like LOU PINIELLA.. neither of them will be the manager when the teams get to the WS, the sooner they are gone, the sooner we get to the right guy..
the longer they both hang around.. the longer it will be. fact. you can say what you want… blah blah blah.. i am wrong,, but after a couple more years & you ain’t back there.. you’ll figure it out.. eventually.
hopefully sooner rather than later.
let the changes begin.

by KINGCOACH on Oct 12, 2008 10:39 PM CDT up reply actions