Especially like the “tickets are available for the baseball games but the Spook show is sold out” part. I love the Onion.

several customers were taken to the emergency room Wednesday night after being struck in the back and chest with line drives while participating in a Spooky Scavenger Hunt in shallow right field.

and

Rays center fielder B.J. Upton was unable to play in the game because he was reportedly overseeing the haunted hayride outside the stadium.