The Curious Case of Bobby Jenks
by The Cheat on Dec 18, 2008 10:20 PM CST
205 comments
He may not be aging in reverse, but Bobby Jenks might be the unlikliest of smart pitchers in baseball. A former HS dropout, Jenks was waived by the Angels essentially for being immature. 10 months after he was let go, he burst onto the national stage in the playoffs by blowing away batters with 100 MPH heat.
Now Jenks is saying things like this.
"This is the last time I have something to say on it, but I've dropped my velocity on purpose," said Jenks, 27, during a phone interview from his home in a western suburb of Chicago. "If you don't think this is true, look back when I was throwing more consistently harder at the end of this last season than at the beginning.
"Against Minnesota [in the American League Central tiebreaker], I was throwing 97-to-100 to get those last three outs. It's not about velocity drops. It's about getting outs. Anyone can time 100 mph if they see it enough.
"Basically, I sat down and discussed what would make me a better pitcher," said Jenks of a conversation he had a few years ago with White Sox pitching coach Don Cooper. "We didn't discuss velocity, but we talked about command and consistency with all of my pitches. My strikeouts are down, yes, but my pitch efficiency is higher than ever and my walks are down. I'm getting hitters swinging early in the counts, and when they get behind, I can put them away."
Surprisingly, I believe him.
According to Fangraphs, Jenks' fastball velocity has dropped from 97 MPH in his brief '05 campaign to 93.8 last season. Though that figure may be exaggerated due to miscategorized cutters. It seemed to me that more than 1.9% of Jenks' pitches were cutters. And he's added a 2-seam fastball (generally about 1-2 MPH slower than a 4-seamer) as well.
It's a bit surprising to see Jenks use the words "pitch efficiency," but he has the stats to back it up. In 2008, he had the 5th lowest pitches-per-plate-appearance among players with at least 60 innings pitched, and tied Greg Maddux for fewest pitches per innings pitched in '08. In fact, Jenks has bettered his pitch efficiency (both P/PA and P/IP) in each of his seasons at the big league level.
Jenks added a cutter and 2-seam fastball following the '06 season, which have transformed him from a fire-balling strikeout pitcher who used his curveball to get get ground balls into a cunning-and-guile strike-thrower who can apparently dial up the MPHs when he needs them. The new Jenks seems to induce weaker contact and have some control on balls in plays, as he's allowed a BABIP of about .255 the last two season versus .340 in his first two seasons.
Jenks' transformation is not so cut-and-dry, however. If he could really dial up the velocity anytime he wanted, shouldn't we have seen some high-90s readings before September? And what happened to his slider? And what of that brief DL stint?
The Sox will have to weigh all of those questions (and more) as Jenks heads towards arbitration this winter and free agency in a few years. He'll be due an arbitration reward of $5+M this season, and that figure could climb to the 8-figure range in his 3rd year of arbitration.
In the past, I was a proponent of trading Jenks as soon as he started to get expensive. I figured it would be best to extract value from him in the form of young talent before his elbow exploded again or he proved to be ineffective. His new approach along with the closer-rich free agent market has softened that stance some. But I'd seriously consider trading him next off-season.
So what should the Sox do with Jenks?
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Chone's site has 2009 FA, so I added D and Pos Adj
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 18, 2008 10:07 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Since googling "WAR" will inevitably give me a lot of unrelated stuff
can you link to a site that explains all these esoteric stats?
by mjthor on Dec 18, 2008 10:45 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
how much do you already know? you're familiar with VORP i assume?
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 18, 2008 10:55 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
yes, familiar with VORP, and know how it works/is calculated
most of the stats i can infer what they mean, such as RAA, but i’d like a more in-depth explanation.
these are the stats i’m unfamiliar with or would like a better explanation:
R150
POS ADJ (i’m assuming this is part of the WAR calculation, taking away value for playing a deep position?)
by mjthor on Dec 18, 2008 10:57 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
oops, accidentally posted before finishing that...
RAA (meaning is obvious, but I’d like to know how that number is calculated)
WAR
Market Value (again, what does this number mean?)
DEF+Pos Adj
again, most of them I can infer what they’re measuring, but i’m more interested in the calculations
by mjthor on Dec 18, 2008 11:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
RAA = offense + defense + positional adjustment
so it’s the all encompassing number that tells you how good a position player is. runs is converted to wins by dividing by 10 (it’s appx). so 21 runs = 2.1 wins.
DEF+ Pos Adj just tells you who the best defenders are. the position adjustment normalizes position and the DEF is what the score at the individual position was. If OC played 150 games at short and was 6 runs above average per UZR, 10 runs below average hitting, his value is 6-10+positional adjustment, which for SS is 7.5 runs. 6-10+7.5 = 3.5 runs above average. Doing this allows you to compare every position player regardless of position played.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 18, 2008 11:04 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Market Value is just a way of looking at what the guy might get as a free agent now
it’s been documented that the price of a win has been inflating about 10% and last year it was at 4.4 million dollars per win. so if you think that’s going to continue, peg it at 4.84 (or round up to 5, which I had been doing). if not, as i’ve been thinking lately, use 4.4 again.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 18, 2008 11:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
So market value is yearly salary in millions, right?
The (4.4/W) thing threw me off. I thought that was some part of the equation, not complementary information.
by mjthor on Dec 18, 2008 11:12 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
so it makes sense? the position adjustment didn't make sense to me for a while
but i get what it means now, particularly since I’ve read through a number of Tango threads. that’s what i’d advise doing more than anything, since he’s always showing his work and willing to answer questions.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 18, 2008 11:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I understand it enough to extract meaning from it.
the position adjustment makes sense.
I still have no idea what WAR means.
by mjthor on Dec 18, 2008 11:37 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
wins above replacement.
average position player = 2.25 wins above replacement
so RAA/10 +2.25 = WAR
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 19, 2008 12:38 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Okay
That makes sense. I was going to ask why the 2.25 was added, but I think I have it figured out.
By definition of the term, WAR for a replacement-level player would be zero, but because RAA compares players to “average” players — not “replacement-level” players — the 2.25 is added as an adjustment to compare to replacement-level.
by mjthor on Dec 19, 2008 1:17 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
R150 is CHONE's end result in runs.
so everything that goes into CHONE boils down to a runs over 150 games value. I can’t tell you any more than that because I’m not familiar with CHONE specifically, outside of what I assume it contains like weighted averages of past results and an age factor.
the position adjustment allows you to compare different defenders across positions. i’ve linked to a few primers already.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 18, 2008 11:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
So explain the POS ADJ of one of the players...
(if you don’t mind) ‘cause I’m still confused. Take Teixeira, for example — does the -12.5 take into consideration Teixera’s defensive abilities (I’m guessing no, because Tex is regarded as a pretty elite defender at first, yes?), or is it just noting that first-base is easier to find good hitting players so first-basemen get docked because your average batting line (or replacement level) is higher (hitting-wise).
…but if it’s the latter, I’m confused about Bradley versus other outfielders. Why does Bradley get docked 17.5 ‘points’?
by CWSKeith on Dec 19, 2008 12:09 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Bradley is a DH, so it's probably mislabeled by me
So, basically, comparing the job Teixeira does at 1B to the job Young does at SS isn’t directly possible unless you know what the cost of moving from SS to 1B is? Well, in practice, basically no one goes from SS to 1B or vice versa. So what you can do experimentally is see what happens when 3B move to 1B and SS move to 3B and you start making an exchange rate.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 19, 2008 12:46 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
That's what initially confused me at first
but then I realized all the other DHs on the list were -17.5, so I figured Bradley was mislabeled.
It’s basically just an adjustment for defense on the premise that some positions are more important/valuable than others. I’m guessing it has a lot to do with runs saved/caused by defense, which would explain valuing 2B, 3B and SS over 1B, because those three positions field way more balls than 1B.
What I’m gathering from it is that, while Tex has a defensive rating of 6, he’s not as valuable as Orlando Cabrera because he plays 1B as opposed to SS (basically saying that defense at SS is way more important than defense at 1B). The “Def” comes from some sort of metric (I’m assuming) and is what represents individual defensive skill.
If I’m wrong on any of these, please correct me, colin. I’m hashing this out as much for my own understanding as I am for other people trying to understand it. It always helps to have two people explain something.
What I can’t figure out is why C is a +12.5 in the position adjustment category. Also, I’m not sure why Def or Pos Adj is a category for DH. Isn’t defense irrelevant for a DH? They can’t save or cause runs by virtue of their defense, because it doesn’t exist…
by mjthor on Dec 19, 2008 1:13 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
"... initially confused me at first"
Yikes. Good thing I’m already done with all my final papers.
by mjthor on Dec 19, 2008 1:14 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
why DH has a defensive adjustment
its so you can compare the total value ( offense + defense ) of two players. ie: a DH is 17.5 wins below average at defense right off the bat.
so, to compare Thome and Tex:
Tex: Def rating +6, positional adjustment: -12.5
TOTAL: -6.5
Thome: Def rating 0, positional adjustment: -17.5
TOTAL: -17.5
Difference: -6.5 – -17.5 = 11
so, for thome to be equal to Tex, he’d have to create 11 more wins a year with his bat.
Make sense?
by coffeepac on Dec 19, 2008 1:31 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Ah, yeah.
I neglected the fact that defense plays a role in RAA.
by mjthor on Dec 19, 2008 1:39 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
knowledge!
sweet!
and I think catchers have a +12.5 because that’s what Tom Tango found. I think he found all players who had moved between positions and assumed they played the same amount of ‘quality’ defense at all positions.
at that point, you can take that one person’s defensive metrics at both positions and say they are equal with a constant that represents difficulty of position.
I imagine that 12.5 just fell out of that when the numbers were run. Nothing fancy, just take it as a constant. Plug. Chug.
by coffeepac on Dec 19, 2008 1:42 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
More talk re: positional adjustments from Rob Neyer
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?name=neyer_rob
Seidman does a real nice job of clearing up the positional adjustment.
by CWSKeith on Dec 20, 2008 1:21 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
On the subject of Abreu...
Those are some pretty strange projections for him. Aside from his first two seasons (just over 200 ABs), they’re projecting him to have career-worsts in hits, AVG, and SLG, as well as his first sub-100 RBI season in 6 years.
Aside from a drop in BB (as well as a drop in K), he’s been dead-on consistent for the last 6 seasons.
I paid especially close attention to him because of the thread below, and because I like him as a player, so I’m not sure if there are other players in there I’d take issue with.
by mjthor on Dec 19, 2008 1:28 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
his legs are finally going.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 19, 2008 1:51 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Joking?
his legs don’t affect hits and AVG (could have a slight effect on SLG)
by mjthor on Dec 19, 2008 9:31 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Huh?
Don't look back because we are going forward!
by Brush Back on Dec 19, 2008 9:34 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
What are you confused about?
I’m criticizing the extremely low projected values for Abreu’s H, AVG, and SLG, and colin replies with “his legs are finally going.”
I replied by saying that his legs don’t affect his hits and AVG, but they could have a slight effect on his SLG (what used to be a triple may now be a double, etc.)
What don’t you understand?
by mjthor on Dec 19, 2008 11:35 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
a large measure of abreu's value was in his ability to steal lots of bases at a high percentage.
that has not stayed consistent. he was bad at it last year and will continue to be.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 11:39 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
None of us are
getting any faster, are we?
by palehose67 on Dec 19, 2008 12:12 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
flagged.
exceeds weekly post limit.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 12:17 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Very good. Rec'd for cleverness.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 12:19 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Ok - I guess - my fault for not knowing more about Abreu
Don't look back because we are going forward!
by Brush Back on Dec 19, 2008 11:45 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Which one - Bob, Bobby, Robert, or BA?
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 12:19 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
At this point ... - I'm just bored with the off season
Don't look back because we are going forward!
by Brush Back on Dec 19, 2008 1:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Yes.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 1:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
that drop in walks is sort of important.
declining strike zone judgment is a bad thing. and i don’t want to pay for the drop off the cliff.
and considering he’s a season removed from his career worsts in AVG, OBP, SLG, i’m failing to see how projecting a 35 year old to be closer to that is “pretty strange”.
and non-rate projections are usually stupid. ignore them.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 9:45 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
fair enough
yeah, the drop in BB the last couple years has been significant.
I’m all for projecting him to decline, but the projected declines are pretty extreme, imo
by mjthor on Dec 19, 2008 11:37 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
strike zone judgment, plate discipline, or whatever term you want to use is a skill that helps prevent age related decline, or at the very least slow it.
i like to use bb/k to measure this. there are other ways, along with other more sophisticated ways to do it but this is quick and pretty accurate. abreu had generally been around .87-.90 in his career (with a sensational 04 season of 1.09). in 2007 he was .73. in 2008 he was .67. this is not a good trend. guys with his skill set who experience this generally have an implosion year, after which it’s usually all over. i’d bet my bonus that implosion occurs in the next three years.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 12:01 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
How far down would it have to go to be considered an "implosion"?
From .87 to .67 in 2 years seems like an awfully steep decline to me. So, e.g., would a 2009 .40 year be considered an “implosion”?
Thanks. This is interesting.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 12:22 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
well, .4 would certainly suck.
what i’d be more concerned about is this (apparent) decline in skill affecting some of his other skills, like batting average and slugging. that’s where the implosion will come.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 12:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
OK. So the ratio might continue a "sandpapering" type of decline
but SLG/AVG/OBP would suffer a precipitous fall. Got it. Your ratio is interesting – from 1.09 to .67 over 5 seasons does not look promising.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 1:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
that drop in walks is sort of important.
declining strike zone judgment is a bad thing. and i don’t want to pay for the drop off the cliff.
and considering he’s a season removed from his career worsts in AVG, OBP, SLG, i’m failing to see how projecting a 35 year old to be closer to that is “pretty strange”.
and non-rate projections are usually stupid. ignore them.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 9:46 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
small sample size fo sho
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 19, 2008 11:24 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
drop in discipline
or drop in bat speed? I don’t think players actually become less disciplined as they mature, but less feared is certainly reasonable.
by Daniel Berlyn on Dec 19, 2008 7:41 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
As someone older than you, discipline, schmiscipline.
You ever hear an old person have an unexpressed thought? No. Look at my number of posts, for example. “I’m old, I have the right, I’ve earned my place. I don’t have to wait for a god pitch to hit, I’m fucking swinging. I might not be here tomorrow, so I’m swinging today, MF.”
GET TO KNOW ME! Deal.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 7:49 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Much respect, Daniel-san.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 7:55 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
konerko to the angels rumors about to start again
http://www.southsidesox.com/2008/12/18/697292/cockroaches-and-konerko-to
AIM: SouthSideCheat
by The Cheat on Dec 18, 2008 10:20 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
As long as Kotchman and Garland are included I say send Paulie packing.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Dec 18, 2008 10:49 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
They Angels can't trade a player that plays for the Braves
last I checked
by mjthor on Dec 18, 2008 10:51 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Neither players are on the Angels
I think that was the joke.
Jackass.
by JoeCoolMan24 on Dec 18, 2008 10:53 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Flagged for personal attack.
Seriously.
That was pretty uncalled-for. I was joking too.
by mjthor on Dec 18, 2008 11:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Flagged!
Your joke sucked!
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Dec 18, 2008 11:04 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
well
in the interest of full disclosure, I didn’t realize that Garland was a FA, so I didn’t know you were making a joke.
… but at least I didn’t call you a jackass.
by mjthor on Dec 18, 2008 11:08 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Joe had my back.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Dec 18, 2008 11:14 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
flag me for sucking at writing this buehrle sabathia thing.....my laptop screen is fucking broke
and i’m computerless til the weekend when i get back from school….look at little furbs sitting in the dorm computer lab hunched in the corner reading sss like wu watches porn at 3 in the morning
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on Dec 18, 2008 11:09 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Aww c'mon Furbs
that’s the reason you fit in around here…
promising something, then failing to write about it is a path to an editorship around here
AIM: SouthSideCheat
by The Cheat on Dec 18, 2008 11:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Stop it...
Your making me miss Christopher Michael Michaels more everyday….
I am going to ask you one time, and i'm gonna ask you nice. Where the fuck is Ringo bitch.
by ElDiablo on Dec 18, 2008 11:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and on to a job in the yankee front office
"He basically just wanted to tell me why he hadn’t called," said Melvin. "He said he has had a lot of things going on. I told him we’re probably going to hang on to Mike."
http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/sports/36407839.html
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 9:06 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Lots of FO folks getting peeved - Wren, Melvin, etc.
Loss of principal gets people really edgy and pissy.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 9:28 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
yes and yes
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on Dec 19, 2008 10:00 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
40% voted to sign him long term.
Wow this board is hypocritical
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Dec 18, 2008 11:53 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
You dont know their reasoning.
The vote went that way because the market isnt good right now to trade him. Had there been fewer closers on the market Jenks would have had higher value.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Dec 19, 2008 12:10 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
because the opinions of those that vocalize them reflect the thoughts of those that don't?
72 votes as of right now. name 72 members of sss (ignoring typical chicago ballot-stuffing).
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 19, 2008 12:10 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
hehehe, I didn't even get to this comment, let alone Cheat's below, before responding. yeah...What tsk said.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 10:05 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
there are already more votes than there are regular posters here
AIM: SouthSideCheat
by The Cheat on Dec 19, 2008 12:12 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
well it is easy to vote, much harder to express an opinion
thus the lack of posting
by LT_sox_fan on Dec 19, 2008 12:58 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
The same user can vote multiple times...
Well, there goes that argument…
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Dec 21, 2008 5:31 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
You do realize there are plenty of members of this site who don't vomit all over every thread, right? I'm sure many of the voters have not even muttered a word of their opinions.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 10:02 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Case in point...
I come to SSS a couple times a day almost every day of the work week, but if I post one comment a week (and I always say the same thing), I’m doing good. Obviously I agree with everything larry says. I trust lawyers without question.
by palehose67 on Dec 19, 2008 10:45 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
clearly. :)
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 10:47 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Couple of things...
- Juan Rivera is about to re-up with Anaheim, so there goes that.
- Are any Sox players slated to play in the WBC? I thought I saw Jon Danks listed at BTF for the US, but I never saw that linked here and figured there would’ve been some article talking about Danks accepting a spot. I actually kind of like the WBC** (although it’s not yet reached the levels of hockey and soccer where I’m full-fledged rooting for Team USA), if only because I think seeing what Japan and Cuba have to offer is cool. Plus seeing that stacked Dominican (IIRC) lineup was kickass.
But anyways — while I enjoy the WBC, I’d rather not see too many Sox players involved. I know the pitcher limits are pretty strict but I’d still be a bit uneasy about seeing Danks (especially) go.
**On a bit of a tangent I’d hope that our relations improve with Cuba so we can see Cuba field a team with guys like Viciedo, Morales, Ramirez et al involved. I think that’d be really neat to see, if only for a handful of games. Going off of this website’s classifications re: heritage (and I know the WBC rules for who you play for are super super loose):
C Posada
1B Morales
2B Betancourt/Escobar/Sean Rodriguez
SS Escobar/Betancourt
3B Lowell
LF Ibañez
CF Alexei
RF Viciedo!
by CWSKeith on Dec 19, 2008 1:44 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Minor Leaguers can play, right?
I would LOVE to see Flowers and Beckham on team USA.
by JoeCoolMan24 on Dec 19, 2008 12:37 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Woke up early this morning - scanned the channels - 410 had MLB
Turned it on and watched the evil duo in 2004 WS – however it followed with the playing of the 2005 WS video… still well up with that same excitement watching it…. So awesome.
Don't look back because we are going forward!
by Brush Back on Dec 19, 2008 9:18 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
i've seen mlb on other non-mlb channels before.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 9:27 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Are you gonna subscribe?
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 9:28 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
subscribe?
i’m not poor. why do you think i have basic cable?
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 9:30 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
It is the MLB channel - scrolling message about Jan 1 launch and all
Saw a story on CNBC on it this morning too
Don't look back because we are going forward!
by Brush Back on Dec 19, 2008 9:32 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FREE PREVIEW AND I’M AT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 9:35 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
They seem to be looping the 2004 and 2005 WS videos
Probably still be playing when you get home. Sounds like they are not trying to emphasize game coverage on the network as they feel there is plenty of local coverage. They seem to be wanting to focus on team info and stories that don’t get covered nationaly. At least that’s what it sounded like on the interview this morning. Studios looked pretty cool.
Don't look back because we are going forward!
by Brush Back on Dec 19, 2008 9:43 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Who are the "anchors"?
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 9:45 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and because the people who want to watch baseball games will probably just pay the premium for extra innings.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 9:47 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Son of a BEEYATCH!
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 9:44 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
$427K just ain't enough these days.
"I work as a contractor," he says. "A little of everything. I pour concrete, dig ditches, lay pipe, get on the machines, pick up garbage. Whatever they need me to do."
…
There are times when Davies doesn’t like the work. It’s hard. Running a jackhammer isn’t fun for anybody. But he likes the challenge, likes the feeling after a hard day’s work and the sense of accomplishment that comes with seeing a project from beginning to end.
http://www.kansascity.com/sports/royals/story/943922.html
goddamn. that last sentence shows exactly why this country is going to hell in a handbasket. faggots like colin and furbs don’t know what a day’s work means. “oh, george bush, bail my sorry ass out! obama, i need healthcare – it’s a basic human right!” kyle davies doesn’t want your bail out. he’ll pick up garbage. a true ’merican.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 10:08 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
maybe i'll learn one day
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on Dec 19, 2008 10:13 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i don't hold out much hope.
if you wanted to learn, you’d start today. there’s snow to be shovelled, son. quit looking at ugandan scat porn and get out there.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 10:15 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
there's no snow in evansville so i can't do that
it’s just sunny and windy out here dude
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on Dec 19, 2008 10:16 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
oh. it's not in my town so i'll just sit here jerking off to pygmies shitting on one another. this is the attitude i'm talking about.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 10:18 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
perhaps i'll just start my own trip home....walk up route 41 until i reach the region shovel in hand
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on Dec 19, 2008 10:21 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and i moved up from ugandan scat porn....just doesn't cut it anymore
the way to go is big bolivian babes…..wtgtd showed me that one…because he knows my love of fat chicks
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on Dec 19, 2008 10:18 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
fat ugly retarded bitches, yo
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 19, 2008 11:28 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
yes forgot that part
thanks
regards
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on Dec 19, 2008 11:34 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
hell yeah
This morning I plowed the street with just a small children’s sand shovel. It was hard work but the satisfaction of a job well done was my reward. Plus I’m probably only gonna lose two fingers to frostbite this time.
This country needs more elbow grease, by gum! Oh, and bootstraps. Jerry Owens didn’t get to where is is right now by taking it easy.
How much is that Uribe in the window?
by thecip on Dec 19, 2008 11:04 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
another reason america is going to be awful in twenty years.
“I had him down on the ground, saying, ’I’m a judge! Just lay down, we’re going to wait for the police,’” Ford, 41, said this morning.
The suspect continued to struggle, however, elbowing Ford in the head and neck and knocking the judge off him, Ford said.
As the suspect ran off again, the judge gave chase while yelling to neighbors to call police.
“I was thinking, I’m not gonna catch this guy, [but] I started gaining ground on him,” the judge said.
Ford again caught up to the 21-year-old suspect another block or two away, in front of his barber’s house as it turned out, and a couple of neighbors helped hold the suspect until Chicago police officers arrived.
http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2008/12/cook-co-judge-tackles-car-break-in-suspect.html
can’t get away from someone twice your age?
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 11:37 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I told you I could whip your young a$$e$.
Yours (those of college age) will perhaps be the first generation to not outlive the previous generation re: life expectancy. Put down the donuts! Get on a bike, fer Chrissakes!
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 12:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I can't wait for you to run laps around Toonder Who? in July...I am seriously planning a trip to watch that....
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 12:34 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
what's in july?
sorry, my younger fat ass can’t keep up
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 19, 2008 12:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
some marathon thingie....you should come too! We can drink beer on the sidelines and throw shit at WU and Toonder when they run by!!
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 12:45 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and this is separate from the oaktown series in august?
why oh why can’t they schedule marathons the same as the white sox schedule?
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 19, 2008 12:54 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I wish they scheduled a whole lot (including ocean swells) around the Sox schedule....
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 1:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I concur re: ocean swells
and I’ll certainly be throwing shit at WU and Toonder in July. Let me know if you really are going to be down here
My Mom and Dad went to Oklahoma, and all they brought back for me was this signature.
by rhythm on Dec 22, 2008 2:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
You are a monkey, aren't you, Sinbad?
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 22, 2008 3:39 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I'd have to worry about him trying to swindle a shower from my hotel room. And then have to try to nicely kick him back onto the street.
“no, no, it’s cool, I can sleep on the cot by the door…you won’t even know I’m here.”
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 22, 2008 4:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm perfectly comfortable in my own cardboard box, thank you very much
and I can shower at a multitude of places, including the beach, places of employment, and the sinks in the Dolores Park public toilets.
Sheesh, shows what you POS know.
My Mom and Dad went to Oklahoma, and all they brought back for me was this signature.
by rhythm on Dec 22, 2008 4:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I didn't see anything
so your postulate is worthless
;)
My Mom and Dad went to Oklahoma, and all they brought back for me was this signature.
by rhythm on Dec 22, 2008 4:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Are you going to be around for the Oaktown series in August?
My Mom and Dad went to Oklahoma, and all they brought back for me was this signature.
by rhythm on Dec 22, 2008 2:37 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
it's under strong consideration
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 22, 2008 3:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I'd certainly advise it
a change of scenery is always nice and there’s usually a good number of Sox fans, which is nice
My Mom and Dad went to Oklahoma, and all they brought back for me was this signature.
by rhythm on Dec 22, 2008 4:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
That's, hmmm, what's the word?
Nice.
Nice word picture, Hemingway.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 22, 2008 6:58 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i don't think i've ever heard "nice" used in a description of oakland before, but there's a first for everything
or twice, or thrice, or however many times ol’ ernest up there will use it
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 23, 2008 12:47 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Me and the wife have booked it. Come one, come all.
Hopefully, “?” will still be there to run laps around.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 12:59 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Last I heard, he's still training strong....lacking around here in part because of it. Doesn't want to be outdone by an old piece of shit like yourself.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 1:04 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
al central preview
Chicago White Sox
Strengths: The Sox have a trio of both starters and relievers who anchored their excellent pitching staff in 2008 and will be counted upon to do so once again in 2009. Here is how these six pitchers performed last year.
IP H BB SO ERA+
Buehrle 218.7 240 52 140 121
Danks 195.0 182 57 159 138
Floyd 206.3 190 70 145 119
Jenks 61.7 51 17 38 174
Thornton 67.3 48 19 77 171
Dotel 67.0 52 29 92 122
A 7.18 K/9 would be acceptable as a team figure but when it is the top six pitchers on a staff that post that number, it gives me a little pause. Still, these six are a clear strength for Chicago.
Weaknesses: It’s hard to see how this offense will muster a passable attack in 2009 barring a free agent pick-up or two. Paul Konerko and Jim Thome are not getting any younger and Jermaine Dye, the one other good hitter on the team not named Carlos Quentin, has been the subject of trade rumors (Dye himself is 35). Outside of these four names, it is hard to see where the productivity will come from.
Opportunities: With the core of his team aging, Kenny Williams would be wise to consider trading some of these pieces to get younger. Having already dealt Nick Swisher and Javier Vazquez, there are indications he is thinking this way.
Threats: Age and drop-off from the pitching staff could hamper Chicago’s chances this season. It’s a fascinating roster, one that might be able to compete for the division if all goes well this year. It is also a roster with a very small window. Either they win with this team this season, lose with this team this season (and thus their assets lose value) or they take what they have now and get younger. It will be fun to watch.
http://baseballanalysts.com/archives/2008/12/al_central_swot.php
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 10:12 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Che picks up his voodoo doll of Sullivan, begins chanting Cuban Santaria spells...
AJ begins to lace up his wrestling shoes…
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 10:28 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
maybe they should work on hitting instead.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 10:30 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Because they had awful years, both of them.
Acknowledge the point – Che (and, to a lesser degree, our Most Indespensible Player last year) were dissed. If he says Che’s productivity is not to be counted on (meaning he at least acknowledged the 2008 contribution from our 2nd place ROY) we could have a discussion. For him to say “I don’t know where it will come from” is asinine.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 10:54 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
they kind of produced average to below average offense. do we give gold stars out for that now?
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 10:58 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Depends - are you giving gold starts to Paulie and Thome?
Give Che his props is all I’m sayin’.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 12:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i want to see che sustain his high babip, and if he can't take some freakin' walks
with cuban pride in his arsenal, i know he’ll find a way to better his 2008 performance
by onlysoxfaninboston on Dec 19, 2008 12:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
.294 is arguably a low babip.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 2:54 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
the xBABIP study pegged him in the mid 280s iirc
so per them, it is a smidge high.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 19, 2008 3:56 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
thome gets the probable last gold star of his career for last season.
konerko doesn’t. however, as previously discussed, he’s a rebound candidate. alexei…well, what you saw last season is probably what you’ll get.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 12:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
No - he is a fast-evolving freak of baseball nature.
He is A Baseball Player. He assimilates pretty well, as we saw improvement over the couse of the year (at the plate – not in the field or on the bases). I’ll take my chances with Che and his potential for growth.
Racist/polemicist.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 12:39 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
yeah!!!!!!!!!
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 12:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
For a second basemen and a catcher
they did alright. Now, the defense might be another issue.
by Daniel Berlyn on Dec 19, 2008 7:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
So let me get this straight...
they are going to win 60, lose 60, and it’s the other 42 that are going to determine the season? Is that you Ken “The Hawk” Harrelson?
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Dec 19, 2008 1:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
100 MPH
I was at that last game against the Twins and I remember thinking his fastball was popping. When I looked at the speed gun, I was surprised to see it at 99 and 100 MPH. So, I guess he knew he can throw hard when he has to do it. Still, I wonder if some of that wasn’t from excitement.
by FAQ on Dec 19, 2008 10:28 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
How do you teach that?
Can Coop put out a video of “Get Excited! The Key To Throwing a Heater!”? I’d buy it and attempt to generalize the behavior in, ahem, other areas of life.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 10:55 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
haha...rec'd
The key to throwing a heater…but don’t get too excited, or you may pull a hammy.
-Cue video of Coop throwing his pitch counter and hurting himself.
-Jeeves Life in the Cell
by jeeves on Dec 19, 2008 11:27 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
turning that into a gif would be classic
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Dec 19, 2008 1:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I thought thinking about baseball was supposed to suppress excitement.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Dec 19, 2008 11:29 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
LOL, Jim.
Reminds me of The Dirty Dozen, as Charles Bronson is getting his psych test – “word association”.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 12:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Watching the 05 WS Film on the Free Preview
Jeebus I miss baseball.
What’s the count now? How many hours till pitchers and catchers?
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on Dec 19, 2008 10:41 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
He also dropped
N Bombs in the locker room early in his career…. not good
by 815Sox on Dec 19, 2008 12:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
TheBaseballCube.com hates us
http://thebaseballcube.com/teams/team_7.shtml
2008 – Did not Qualify for Playoffs
by JoeCoolMan24 on Dec 19, 2008 2:43 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
O (really important) T
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 3:27 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Their plan of attack was unravelling
AIM: SouthSideCheat
by The Cheat on Dec 19, 2008 3:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
good one. :-) right out their pink star buttholes!
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 3:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i love posts that incorporate my two favorite things
text smilies and anuses
by baby_jamie on Dec 20, 2008 9:22 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
pleased to provide. haha
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 20, 2008 10:04 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
That's a great on, one of my favorites.
I used to intern at The Onion here in Chicago. My favorite is “Special Olympics T-Ball stand pitches perfect game”
www.stallingtheman.blogspot.com
by Raf on Dec 19, 2008 4:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
HA! whhheeeew! That is a good one. Too many classics to even recall....or to pick a favorite, for that matter.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 19, 2008 4:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
My fave of all time is the 9/11 edition. I passed that out to people via hard copy.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 7:42 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i liked that one too WU
i found the point-counterpoint amusing, something like:
point – we must respond with blind angry rage
counterpoint – we must respond with narrow focused rage
by onlysoxfaninboston on Dec 20, 2008 9:56 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
or this one....
point (woman pictured): “I think my computer hates me.”
counter-point (computer pictured): “God, I hate that bitch.”
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 20, 2008 10:05 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
They have the Obama winning headline framed and available for purchase.
“Black Man Given Nation’s Worst Job”
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 20, 2008 10:06 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
winner winner chicken dinner
is the one after bush won the first time: “Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity is Finally Over”
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 21, 2008 10:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
If it was written a year earlier it'd have been funnier. (I know, I know, he was elected 11/00.)
The markets peaked 3/2000, almost a full year before Bush took office. (However, the markets being forward-looking by 6-12 months it was a pretty good indicator that things were going to suck under Bush.)
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 22, 2008 10:01 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
you read the whole article?
i’m wondering if WTGTD moonlights for them, given the prognostication skillz present there
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Dec 22, 2008 10:27 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I did, which was why I attempted to provide a bit of balance.
Women can still get abortions, blacks have not been disenfranchised, etc. But the economic/political stuff is eerie.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 22, 2008 11:04 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
This is hilarious.
World Leaders Gather To Roast Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
“Mahmoud—now this is true—said that there are no homosexuals in Iran,” roaster and Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf said, “and I for one believe him. After all, if a cock-hound like Mammers can’t find a single puckered asshole in all of Persia to slap his balls against, then what’s the use of any of us trying?”
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 22, 2008 4:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
same article, for hoodie:
and roast favorite Henry Kissinger, who spent the majority of his speech making sexual overtures to French president Nicolas Sarkozy’s bride, model Carla Bruni. Although Bruni was seated in the audience, Kissinger politely offered her a seat on his face so he could get a better look at the only place a French leader has successfully invaded since Lombardy.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 22, 2008 4:31 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Man, that is beatiful.
It is, however, a shame someone will have to die for our laughter and amusement.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 22, 2008 6:59 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Or even "beautiful".
(Let the stoning begin with me.)
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 22, 2008 7:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
we'll spare you for entertainment purposes.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 22, 2008 7:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I also liked the "Regan Pyramid Nears Completion" after Regan died
My Mom and Dad went to Oklahoma, and all they brought back for me was this signature.
by rhythm on Dec 22, 2008 2:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i wouldn't have thought such an esoteric figure as regan would get discussed in the onion these days.
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 22, 2008 2:47 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I've never tasted Regan
though I know that onions aren’t bad tasting
by Daniel Berlyn on Dec 22, 2008 3:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Swing and a miss
Vinny Del Negro interviewed for the job today. I mean come on! Nobody else thinks this is nuts?
by Juiceboxjerry on Jun 6, 2008 4:21 PM CDT actions actions 0 recs
by Ozzie Montana on Dec 22, 2008 3:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I love the Onion.
I always view the website, and I have the movie.
by JoeCoolMan24 on Dec 19, 2008 4:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I also love the video one
Where after the newscast he says “A man was attacked by a pitbull puppy earlier today. When we come back, he will describe the adorable attack”
Or “12 bruised in a punching spree”
The stabbing monkeys video was also hilarious.
by JoeCoolMan24 on Dec 19, 2008 4:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
finally! a place to discuss white sox minor leaguers.
http://www.minorleagueball.com/2008/12/19/697345/chicago-white-sox-prospect
"They will surely make fewer home runs," Guillen said. "Defense players and worthy pitchers will likely take over the protagonist's role."
by larry on Dec 19, 2008 4:28 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
position adjustment explanation:
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 19, 2008 4:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Off season sucks!
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Dec 19, 2008 6:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Also
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Dec 19, 2008 6:04 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
cool!
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 19, 2008 7:01 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I like Iceland as Numenor
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Dec 19, 2008 7:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 19, 2008 7:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Dec 19, 2008 7:45 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
+1 carl on that one.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 19, 2008 7:17 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
White Sox Christmas cards
http://soxmachine.com/blogs/soxmachine/archive/2008/12/19/more_white_sox_christmas_cards.aspx
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 19, 2008 7:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Yaz v. Manny -- Part 2
http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/yaz-v-manny-part-2-defense-counts/
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 19, 2008 7:05 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Finally, a 2B-man!
http://foxsports.com/mlb/pgStory?contentId=8950370#sport=MLB&photo=8948658
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 19, 2008 7:29 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
or not
http://foxsports.com/mlb/story/8966366/White-Sox-staying-true-to-youth-movement
bonus: kenny on the big crush:
“This young man is special,” Williams said. "As I’ve said, I’m very high on Josh Fields at third base. But at 19 years old, this young man, Viciedo, the sky’s the limit on him.
“I prefer our guys to come in with a little less hype. Chicago is weighty enough without coming in with increased expectations. All I will say is this: He’s got a chance to help us in some capacity in (’09). And he definitely has a chance to be part of our core and in the middle of our lineup in (2010).”
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 19, 2008 8:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Please, god...
no Orlando Hudson.
I’m begging you.
by The Jerry Royster Experience on Dec 20, 2008 2:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
minor league ball Community Prospect List
3 current Sox, as well as Carter, Cunningham, Cortes and Gonzalez. Viciedo hasn’t been intro’d yet and Allen is in the conversation as of that thread.
Sober, I was appalled at the women. Drunk I was told I danced with them all.
by colintj on Dec 19, 2008 7:45 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Sox sign Ryan O’Malley
http://www.sj-r.com/sports/x1647199991/O-Malley-re-signs-with-White-Sox-organization
http://www.thebaseballcube.com/players/O/ryan-omalley.shtml
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 19, 2008 8:24 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Kenny's secret offer!
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 19, 2008 8:47 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Franklin W. Dixon was three people
Earth shattering.
by RoyEgan on Dec 19, 2008 10:01 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Best gaper's delay I've ever been in....on I-5 yesterday. This is what happens when Seattle gets snow.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 20, 2008 9:09 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
I took that particular pic, but there are better shots
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 20, 2008 9:11 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Thanks...I couldn't seem to get a less fuzzy version since I was driving and all...but it was pretty neat to see.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 20, 2008 10:02 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I remember once I was visiting my cousins in Seattle, and they cancelled school for 2 fucking inches of snow
This was 1998, if anyone remembers how insane the snowstorms were in the Chicago area. Close to 16 inches on the ground, and the dipshit Catholics forced everyone to come to school, sit for 2 hours, then go back home.
Vinny Del Negro interviewed for the job today. I mean come on! Nobody else thinks this is nuts?
by Juiceboxjerry on Jun 6, 2008 4:21 PM CDT actions actions 0 recs
by Ozzie Montana on Dec 20, 2008 10:06 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
we had bad roof damage in that blizzard
sit*
by U-God on Dec 20, 2008 10:07 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I have never seen this happen before - Wednesday this week, all schools were canceled, but not an inch fell. It was precautionary cancelations!!
I only worked 2 days this week – trapped at home in, like, 3-6 inches.
Schools were canceled for 3 or 4 days this week…in all my years in Chicago, we never had consecutive snow days! And it took at least a foot to get ONE snow day…
damn…those were the days….My friend on the next block had an outdoor hot tub and we would sit in it while the snow fell on our heads.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Dec 20, 2008 10:09 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I remember that year - they cancelled flights in and out of Birmingham for literally 3/4"" of snow.
Just ain’t uuused to it there. Hills + slippery stuff = no one goes anywhere.
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 20, 2008 1:15 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
phil rogers' annual heath phillips pilgrimage
Some really good pitchers never get chances in the big leagues because they don’t throw hard enough to convince general managers and managers—sometimes even pitching coaches—to take a chance on them. One of those is lefty Heath Phillips, who recently signed a minor-league deal with Kansas City.
The White Sox have one in right-hander Lance Broadway, who is 2-0 in two big-league starts but rarely gets mentioned for the two vacancies in the starting rotation.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/chi-21-rogers-inside-baseballdec21,0,6751694.column
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 20, 2008 12:51 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
By Phil's definition of "really good"
the Trib’s financial state is really good
AIM: SouthSideCheat
by The Cheat on Dec 20, 2008 1:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Big Robo piece on Sox youth movement - pictures and everything!
http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8966366/White-Sox-staying-true-to-youth-movement
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 20, 2008 1:22 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
time to wake up grandpa!
scroll up 3-4 pages
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Dec 20, 2008 1:49 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Old(?!) pitchers dropping like flies - Doc Ellis dead at 63
http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8968730/Ex-major-league-pitcher-Dock-Ellis-dies-at-63
I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT
by winningugly on Dec 20, 2008 1:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Don't tell Contreras
AIM: SouthSideCheat
by The Cheat on Dec 20, 2008 1:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
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