Shocking White Sox News
by The Cheat on Apr 1, 2008 3:01 PM CDT
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Is there anything more tired than fake news stories on this special day?
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Jaime Navarro Hired At Pitching Coach
Citing a loss of confidence in Don Cooper, the White Sox announced that the Jamie Navarro will assume major league pitching coach duties, effective immediately.
that's utterly ridiculous
no way the mariners let him go.
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
Jerry Dybzinski hired as 3rd base coach!
Sox management, already seething at Jeff Fox' "nancy-like" coaching on the bases after one game, went straight to the most aggressive pinch-runner in Sox history, with the most pleasing surname to the primary fan base.
I took the "under".
Whitesox announce 2 new statues for 2009
April 1st, 2008 Joe Cowely Suntimes
"You look at the outfield and you see the statues of players who have made the sox great. Now we are about to honor 2 other gentlemen that have done their part to make the sox great. Jerry came to me the other night and suggested it, and I cannot say that I have seen a better idea of how to honor 2 men that have made the sox life more of a joy. " said Kenny Williams.
The first honoree is Jay "The Truth" Marriotti. Wow, when you think of journalistic integrity, and love for truth and the american way. You immeidately have visions of Jay Marriotti. Hawk himself was happy to see his mentoree get this award. I was able to have Hawk tell him himself, as they enjoyed a nice Cognac and a fine cigar after a fine dinner of conversation and friendship. The tear in Hawks eye tells you more than words can say of how proud he is of his young protegee.
The second, is a great man. This gives me goosebumps. Scott Boras. Scott has done more to advance the sox cause than any other agent. Think of some of the players he has helped shield away from the sox. Our relationship is misunderstood. We are also pleased to announce that we have asked that Scott represent all of our players in the future so we can continue our fine work together.
by southsideirish71 on Apr 1, 2008 5:10 PM CDT reply actions
SouthsideIrish71-that's hilarious!
The only thing missing was a statue of Terry Bevington!
"Lemonade was a popular drink back in the day and it still is.."
Gangstarr
by Big Daddy Kool on Apr 1, 2008 5:32 PM CDT up reply actions
The obvious one...
"[insert team here] signs Barry Bonds."
by The Jerry Royster Experience on Apr 1, 2008 5:48 PM CDT reply actions
New South Side Sox Format Frightens Gus
"First they tell me the name Gus is already taken by some schmuck from El Birdos, then when I finally get back in to play, I dont know which way is up and feel like Im drowning in information," said a visually worried Gus.
"I fear technology has passed me by, being an old man at 32 sucks" he added.
el birdos 'gus' stole my handle!
SSH2005 lauds play by past, present, and future White Sox!
Well, Kenny, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mindfuck yet.
rumor is that there' also a shortage of 'clever' nicknames based on players' last names
but i'm waiting for the press release.
Owens DFA'd, Swisher To Lead Off
All 162 games. Citing the benefit of scoring at least 1 run in the first inning for 22% of their games, Ozzie said "you don't need speed when your 1st hitter starts the game on 2nd base or touching all 4". He went on to add that stolen bases were overrated anyway, and that fans shouldn't dwell on Podsednik's first half of the 2005 season. "We got lucky with that fluke Scotty. We kept him around because his wife would visit, but Owens is single. He got no excuse".
Next time, Bhoov, do some research.
Give me a break
even if Owens doesn't start he is a valuable 4th outfielder because of his speed. Another thing... I know we all love Fields here including myself, but who would you guys have rather seen up to bat than Crede in the 9th. I know he popped out but man that guy is electric late in games. Plus he makes impossible plays look easy... he is for sure healthy and if we trade him it better be for someone's farm. If we are in first place or only a couple of games back near the all-star break do you guys think we should still trade him?
by Where Triples Go to Die on Apr 1, 2008 6:36 PM CDT up reply actions
Indiana hires away Marquette's Tom Crean.
Ah, Keith only wishes this was an April Fool's joke.
Well, Kenny, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mindfuck yet.
Cheat, a hypothetical:
if someone doesn't understand the concept of a thread, or if someone is totally insufferable, is it a banishable offense to tell him to go fuck himself? To call him a dickwad or pond scum? To question his manhood or mother's virtue?
Just asking, hypothetically.
Next time, Bhoov, do some research.
you can tell me to go fuck myself.
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
Go fuck yourself
Or is this only a Chiburb offer? ;)
Chiburb, I extend the offer to me, too. If my wife can say it, so can you.
I took the "under".
Sigh...
It's been a banner day for me. I found out the Wutang Clan's show here in Milwaukee has been canceled and now this.
Ugh -- this is gonna be tough to take. The Stanford loss was bad enough, now there's this and I'm sure there will be some recruits we'll lose as well. Tough, tough day.
What happened to the Wu?
Well, Kenny, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mindfuck yet.
by Toonderstrook on Apr 1, 2008 8:02 PM CDT up reply actions
I don't know...
I called the venue where they were supposed to be doing a show (The Rave) and was told the show got canceled. I didn't inquire further (although I probably should have).
They did a show at the Metro in Chicago a couple of months ago and I'm sure they'll be back in Chicago, but in any case it's a bummer.
always a big letdown when someone bails on a show for whatever reason.
Well, Kenny, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mindfuck yet.
by Toonderstrook on Apr 1, 2008 8:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Milledge's HR
Pete is Lord today
First, the aforementioned Milledge. Now this:
http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/7979232/Martinez-suffers-hamstring-injury-
Oh we of little faith. I bow down to your omnipotence, sir.
I took the "under".
can we trade cabrera back?
listening to angels radio on the way home from work today, the announcers were really talking up garland. not only about him getting the groundballs, but about his quick delivery. only two people successfully stole in six attempts last year?! with our catchers?! in 210 innings?!
i'm with whoever said we sold low on garland. milledge would have been a much better pickup
garland is a good pitcher
On the field is really very valuable. Trade-wise that value got driven down by
1) His deal is for one year
2) It isn't a cheap year
3) Complaints of a shoulder knot and declining MPH and peripherals has to throw some doubt on his health.
Cabrera, I think, was a reasonable return value-wise. But I would rather the Sox used what trade value he had to fill other holes.
by hitlesswonder on Apr 1, 2008 10:54 PM CDT up reply actions
I never understood why Garland
never got more love around here. He was a tough, tough competitor. Say what you want about the bogusness of the Win stat, but when this guy smelled the W he was a gritty mofo. I enjoyed having watched him.
if by "around here" you mean SSS
i think i and a few others managed to convince people of the value of a consistenly average to slightly above average innings eater. perhaps too convinced, in some cases. if you mean "chicago" - well, the argument may be a bit much for people who generally think that you're either good or you suck and if you can't find a reason to wedge that player who is sort of in the middle into the good category (see someone like david eckstein), then the player goes to the suck category by default. garland is sort of a quiet player who simply goes about his business in a non-flashy manner. that won't win you fans from those who think you need to jump around like an idiot all the time, or else you don't care.
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
I meant SSS
People scoffed at his peripherals, which admittedly suck. But this guy never missed a start, and he almost always kept you in the game.
but he never showed THE FIRE, never broke his hand on a dugout tunnel wall, never assaulted a cameraman. he just wasn't chicago tough. ;-)
Well, Kenny, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mindfuck yet.
by Toonderstrook on Apr 2, 2008 11:30 AM CDT up reply actions
you mean his peripherals last year
of course it was time to cut bait. better early instead of getting stuck with a pumpkin.
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
Yeah, I think that's true
His first start this year notwithstanding, I think there's a good chance Garland's performance declines this year. Even if it doesn't, moving him was the prudent thing to do.
by hitlesswonder on Apr 2, 2008 11:38 AM CDT up reply actions
I whole-heartedly agree it was time to move him
I'm not suggesting we should have hung onto him. I just wanted to show him some love, he kind of left town and the reaction from the masses was a shrug of the shoulders and "meh". I, for one, greatly appreciated his efforts. He really came a long way, and I think Ozzie deserves a lot of credit for his development.
(All these unsolicited kudos from me today, I must not be feeling well. Complimenting Ozzie? Walker even? WTF...Hand me that bottle of OCab please)
I don't know about that, Pete
I'd say for the most part, we were pretty staunch defenders of Garland. I think we gaged his value pretty well -- perfectly average starter, maybe a bit better given his results (200 innings of a 100 ERA+ is better than average for a SP). I remember going back to 2004 when people (the 'masses', not anyone here at SSS) wanted Garland gone for a bag of chips, people like Cheat understood that he was a young pitcher who was perfectly average and probably didn't deserve most of the crap that came his way.
The issue came up when talking about another contract for Garland given his terrible peripherals. I think the Sox cut bait with Garland at the right time (although like you I'm not very fond of the return... Speaking of which, since the trade I've wondered if Kenny asked for Rivera or Willits given that the Angels have 15 outfielders on their current roster. I'd certainly love to have one of those two in CF for the Sox right now, but I digress.)
i think we got enough of that yesterday
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
no one has a problem with milledge
the problem is the oft-repeated belief that jon garland gets you milledge, or any other young centerfielder of value.
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
great
nothing, then, like re-hashing an unprovable thing - from the past, no less - over and over. you get the moniker of the voice of the endless rehash.
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
garland.
it's been a fortunate day when you can go 8 innings giving up only 1 run despite only 1 K.
Well, Kenny, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mindfuck yet.
OT Question for Toonder or Larry
You guys are the first two people I thought of when this question popped into my mind, so I figured I'd pose it to you both (Cheat, if I'm crossing any lines here, feel free to delete):
Say I had a "friend" who had a (relatively) substantial check to cash from a site such as Bodog or Full-Tilt (online poker/gambling/waging sites -- not sure if I needed to clarify or not). Are there any legal ramifications to this "friend" cashing that check? The "friend" deposited money through his credit card, and the "friend" thought that all of the legalities concerning online poker (oh boy! the cat is out of the bag!) were levied more at financial institutions rather than at individuals like my "friend". I guess I'm moreso concerned with the tax side of it -- will my "friend" need to -- in some way -- claim it on next year's tax stuff (yeah, "stuff" -- give me a break, I'm still a teenager -- not in a few months, though)?
My "friend" should probably know the answer to this question, seeing that he's in the business school at a (somewhat) recognizable university, but my "friend" would just appreciate if either of you (or anyone else who is concerned about my "friend's" well-being) had any input.
Not my field, but I live with a tax lawyer
who reminds me that everything is income, that must be reported, unless specifically excluded by the tax code.
Well, Kenny, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mindfuck yet.
by Toonderstrook on Apr 1, 2008 10:26 PM CDT up reply actions
I can't, of course,
comment on the legality or illegality of obtaining the funds or the impact of disclosing that income if illegal.
Well, Kenny, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mindfuck yet.
by Toonderstrook on Apr 1, 2008 10:29 PM CDT up reply actions
Rob Mackowiak makes routine catch!
I'm gonna miss the little scrappy fella.
Share the passion, show the swagger, pray for the bullpen.
Gambling income is taxable in the year
it was earned. It can, however be netted against gambling losses when itemizing. Keep good records. If your 'friend' won more than $600 expect him/her to get a 1099 reporting the earnings at the end of the year.
Show mercy. I get to watch the Rangers.
that is correct
Show mercy. I get to watch the Rangers.
by Tim from Texas on Apr 3, 2008 4:59 PM CDT up reply actions
Thome
After the game Thome sneezes in the locker room and has to be put on the dl....haha shot at Sammy it never gets old
Ground ball to first, and the White Sox have won the Pennant!
by beanohatesthecubs on Apr 2, 2008 12:36 AM CDT reply actions
Reinsdorf: "I'm sorry for Everything"
Chicago White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf apologized to Sox fans today for what he believed to be all his transgressions since he took over the team in 1981.
"In reviewing my ownership, I know that I've failed the fans many time and for that, I am profoundly sorry."
Reinsdorf apologized for letting former broadcaster Harry Caray escape to the Cubs in 1982. "That was a bad move. We should have just had our games on over the air TV and hung on to him. I guess I didn't take the Cubs seriously at that time."
Reinsdorf also expressed contrition for not spending enough money on players and letting several players leave the team because of money. "If I had been less uptight about money, we could have had a dynasty in the '90's with Jack McDowell, Alex Fernandez, Robin Ventura and all of those fine young players we had at one time, but of course, I was far more into the bottom line."
Reinsdorf admitted for the first time that he was the power behind the 1994 strike that may have cost his team an AL Central title and perhaps a shot at the world series. "Yeah, it was me. I told Selig, "Buddy, if you want to be commish, you need to go nuclear on the players. In hind sight, that was probably a bad move.""
Reinsdorf's comments came in an exclusive feature length interview with Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti.
Chip Ramsey
Nice work
The last line was the best - I might've added "Pulitzer Prize-winning" to JM's handle.
I took the "under".
Pulitzer Prize
Does anyone else see the irony in the fact that the Pulitzer Prize is an honored award for good journalism when Pulitzer himself was notorious for being a crappy journalist; ie making up stories, etc?
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
like most people
he was a bit of a dichotomy. his papers, and he himself, did plenty of good things for journalism, too.
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
Just read Pulitzer's wikipedia entry
I didn't know of his philanthropy previously
BTW, I'm liking the signature
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
started the first journalism school, right?
or at least put up the money. i guess i was thinking about some of the stories that his newspaper broke that actually were good investigative type work. i recall something about jp morgan (i think) and some shady financial dealings.
the law of conservation of masset: no matter how much masset you use up, there is always masset in your system.
Naw - Morgan helped bail out the Fed
during the Depression. Couldn't have been JP...
I took the "under".
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