[Note by The Cheat, 04/20/08 11:56 PM CDT]: I've been sitting here with the editor open for about an hour, paying more attention to the Food Network than I'd like to admit, unable to come up with anything to write, which is becoming far too regular when covering a team playing so well. So here's WU's first-hand account of the game in my place.

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I just returned from a place worse than Hell itself - the alleged baseball stadium in St. Petersburg, Russia (er, Florida) and had to relate the experience.  I also thought from my up-close-and-personal vantage point I'd give a few impressions on our guys at play.

First, I had paid the egregious price of $40/ticket to sit 11 rows behind the Rays dugout.  Once my buddy George and I settled into our seats we began to realize we were in Pedophile Heaven.  For the 1 1/2 hours before game time we were subjected to everything Disney that is musical - Hannah Montana, Raven, the Jonas Brothers, you name it.  We were also sereneded by a warbling, off-key 10 year old girl who sang both the Star Spangled Banner and God Bless America (that one at the 7th inning stretch).  While she belted out the national anthem a group of 8 year old boys had taken the field and "maned" each position.  Bottom line - Tampa has gone from playing to the Depends crowd to playing to the "tweens".

For those who mentioned the cavernous, echoing stadium ambience, Kevin Costner (via auditape) touted the referendum that will be voted upon in Novmeber for a new stadium on the site that Al Lang Stadium currently occupies.  So we might not have the Trop to kick around by a couple of years from now (the new stadium is only seating 34K, so it appears that no one is expecting big attendance any time soon).

George happened to mention that his daughter is in the same sorority at Florida State as the Sox' podiatrist's daughter.  Lo and behold, via the magic of cell phones, the said podiatrist tells us he's at the game, is leaving soon, and sure, we can take his seats behindthe Sox dugout.

We slide over to the Sox side and the guy brings us down to Row A, mid-dugout.  The Doc's buddy accompanying him is the Sox dentist (tells us his best buddy is Bart Johnson).  Both guys have the actual WS ring adorning their ring finger on their right hand - I hadn't seen one up close, and it's pretty impressive.  Within the half inning the podiatrist drives off to his home in Jacksonville, and an inning laterthe dentist takes off.  So we have 3 seats to ourselves to see the Sox up close and personal.

(These are how good the seats were - my hand to God, a woman comes up to George, who is 60 and Greek.  She's in her 50's, probably, and says to George "I just wanted to say, Mr. Einhorn, that you've done a great job with the team this year.  We've followed you down from Ft. Myers, and wish you the best this year."  George, unflappably, says "Well, thank you", shakes her hand, and turns toward the game.  So we're in the owner's seats.")

For my rundown on our boys:

1.  Thank God Swish can draw walks, because he's not "on" the ball at the plate.  And his speed fits right in with the middle of the order guys - didn't score on the first single by Thomer (granted, it was roped) and should've been thrown out on the 2nd single by Thomer (catcher didn't come up with the throw).  And his hair is grayer than mine, and I've got 23 years on him.

2.  O-Cab is steady - the exact same play he made in the 8th was muffed at the top of the 9th by Tampa's SS.  Not bad AB's either - he roped his last out to LF.

3.  Thomer sucks.  Cut him.  No, really, he was all OVER it today, and his K was questionable (looked like he held up his swing). 

4.  Except for his 3b (?!) JD looked overmatched all day.

5.  AJ is on fire, JC is not.

6.  Q looks OK - steady.

7.  BA needs to go back to AA.  He looked terrible, terrible, terrible.  Ramirez' batting practice hacks looked better than BA's.  BA should be the defensive/baserunning replacement only.

8.  Uribe is FAT, so maybe that's why he's more patient at the plate.  We've analyzed him to death, but he looks here to stay.

9.  Danks was DEALING.  Froze many guys at the plate, even though he was between 73-89 on the gun.  Guys were very off-stride.  Also, I was able to look directly into his face every inning he came off the mound as he entered the dugout- he looks confident and intense.

10.  Boone sure shook off the "L" from Thursday - looked in command.  I cringed when he went out for the 2nd inning of his turn but he did fine.

No real comments on defense (Uribe had a tough play to his right and slipped on the ground-up used tires they call "turf" there) but Danks and Logan were so good there didn't seem to be any tough chances.  Fox held Swish when he should've, and sent him when he should've, so maybe our 3B coach is settling in.

All told, a great day to be at a game.  Just not in Tampa's crypt, though being mistaken for an owner made our day.