FanShot

Chip Shots: Anatomy of a Tirade

Scene: The Tropicana Dome, Tampa, FL, moments after the White Sox dropped another close game to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen sits in his office moments before he is scheduled to address the media. Guillen is in a good mood, laughing and joking with his coaching staff. Despite the loss, the team is still in first place. Suddenly, the jocularity is interrupted by the ring of Guillen's cell phone. It is White Sox marketing guru Brooks Boyer: Ozzie: Ozzie Guillen, what the &%^ do you want? Boyer: Hey Ozzie, it's Brooks Boyer! Ozzie: Oh, the marketing ^&$%. Why the &%$^ are you calling me? Look, pal, I'm way too %#$%ing busy to help you get rid of all those *%^ing Mike MacDougal bobble heads you ordered. Boyer: No, no. I've already sold all of those to a skeet shooting range. I need some help selling tickets. Ozzie: Dude, I'm way too %^&$ing important a man to hold up a *^&ing sign in some piece of ^$%^ TV commercial. Boyer: Yeah, I know, but you know, the Royals are coming in and ticket sales are really slow because they are not attractive to our fans. ...

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