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Danks Delights

Thecheatsmoking_tiny by The Cheat on in Recaps

Abbreviated recap. I'm wiped out.

When I saw who the Sox were sending to the mound this series, I thought we could be in for a long weekend. Gavin Floyd has been giving up HRs like crazy, Jose Contreras has been anything but impressive over the last month and has been almost as homer-prone as Floyd, and most importantly, the Texas offense is the best we've faced this season. Their first 4 hitters are scary good right now.

As for the Sox other starter in this series, John Danks, I thought the kid might get a little too worked up pitching against his old team and in front of friends and family while just up the road from his hometown. And did I mention the Texas offense?

Danks showed little effect working into the 8th inning, racking up another 8 strikeouts against ZERO walks. It wasn't really until that 8th inning that he started to get hit around.

I was begging Ozzie to take him out before Kinsler's moonshot double, but after watching the bullpen's work against the Texas wrecking crew I can hardly fault him for riding the hot hand.

I don't even know who's pitching for Texas tomorrow, but if the Sox are able to win one with Contreras on the hill, this entire road trip will be filled with games it feels like we've stolen.

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Considering how many games we should have won but didn't early on

I’m fine with having a stretch of games we won when maybe we shouldn’t have.

Coffee is for closers.

by vince_ on Jul 12, 2008 10:20 PM CDT   0 recs

Ranger fan checking in..

I was very impressed by danks. He looked like an ace. Bad 8th inning high into the pitch counts against good hitters isnt a big deal.

The slider (I think anyway) was great. Excellent control.

Definitely hard to watch him do what hes doing for another team while mccarthy sits on the DL, but oh well those tihngs happen.

Anyway, Matt Harrison, a lefty prospect the rangers got in the teixeira deal, is who you will be facing tomorrow. Solid stuff, solid control, but not a really high ceiling guy who is going to K the side. I think its probably the most even pitching matchup of the series so far.

Now, if you will please tell contreras to groove a couple to hamilton so he can get to 100 rbi..

the preceding post is not nearly as negative or insulting as you think it is

by DSheppard on Jul 12, 2008 10:25 PM CDT   0 recs

you don't have to tell him to he'll do it anyways....he's that good

i don’t want to see any more of this tomfoolery on this guestbook. and get off my motherfucking lawn.---good ole larry

by furby2056 on Jul 12, 2008 10:34 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Late-inning defense

That’s what I like about the Sox this year—after Thursday’s 8th-inning hiccup, Ozzie does the defensive shuffle at the next opportunity and comes up a winner. Not just the Ramirez-Swisher game-ender, but Anderson working the back forty.

not that the KC game would necessarily have ended as a W, but it would have helped.

by tommyjoepeters on Jul 12, 2008 11:03 PM CDT   0 recs

as long as ozzie is taking suggestions...

i’d like to recommend that swish be moved to the 2 spot and aj back to the 7. aj has regressed to his regular non-walk taking ways and swish has progressed up to his regular frequent-walk taking ways. look at the last 30 days, they are heading in different directions. i know ozzie likes having oc hit leadoff, so swish in the 2 hole ups the obp at the top of the lineup. plus, for ozzie’s stolen bases hunger, swish sees the most pitches per ab in baseball, so oc has plenty of opportunities to take a bag.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 12, 2008 11:47 PM CDT   0 recs

Well this doesn't bode well

The twins are a league average offense now

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 12:28 AM CDT   0 recs

Our pitching is definitely still our main advantage against the Twins

which is some cause for worry. At least for a few folk. Don’t have an opinion yet myself.

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 12:31 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:27 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Just to add some doom and gloom

I think the Twins pitching will be better than the Sox by the end of the season. The only weak link in their rotation is Hernandez and Liriano will replace him soon. Meanwhile, I have little confidence that Contreras, Vazquez, and to a lesser extent Floyd will be league average starters in the 2nd half. The Twins are a young team that has a good chance to surge in the 2nd half.

If the (current) back end of the Sox rotation somehow pulls it together and is league average in the second half, I think the Sox can contend with the Twins to the wire. Here’s hoping Cooper has some magic…..

Announcer: [A fan] from Frederick, Maryland, wants to know why you don't go out and get some more team speed.

Weaver: Team speed, for Chrissake, you get BLEEP god damn little fleas on the bases getting picked off trying to steal, getting thrown out, taking runs away from you. You get them big BLEEP who can hit the BLEEP ball out of the BLEEP ballpark and you can't make any god damn mistakes.

by hitlesswonder on Jul 13, 2008 11:13 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Thanks to the great Nick Punto

Show mercy. I get to watch the Rangers.

by Tim from Texas on Jul 13, 2008 9:10 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Sweet holy hell!

.282/.353/.459 is what Texas is hitting AS A TEAM this year. What Johnny did today was absolutely outstanding.

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 12:35 AM CDT   0 recs

here is something we'll be reading several times a season for several seasons with danks in a sox uniform:
What Johnny did today was absolutely outstanding.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:29 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

hopefully...

A) Danks will continue his high level of performance; and
B) We will continue to appreciate his high level of performance.

by reardenmettle on Jul 13, 2008 1:38 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

And our BABIP is still the lowest in the league

so that’s nice. If our average gets a boost, that could send our offense into distinctly above average territory. That would make me feel better about holding off the Twins.

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 12:36 AM CDT   0 recs

keep preaching

the people reading are getting a lot out of it….wait

i don’t want to see any more of this tomfoolery on this guestbook. and get off my motherfucking lawn.---good ole larry

by furby2056 on Jul 13, 2008 12:39 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i did this in a game thread last year. it was very unsane.

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 12:45 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Colin achhieved a rare feat last year.

He authored 86% of the posts in a June game thread.

75%+ in 2 others.

Oh for the days when we had 6327 consecutive quality starts.

by ballyb on Jul 13, 2008 8:48 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I think i remember those.

Very unsane.

How do you fuck a nut?!

by omnipotent grab on Jul 13, 2008 12:03 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i didn't know you did the math

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 1:21 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i thought it was more like 2 in 3.

but i’m high.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:22 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i hear that.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:27 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

niiiiiiiiiiiice

get yourself some cheetos and take a seat on the couch

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 1:59 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Warning on Sox rear view mirror

Warning: objects in mirror are closer than you realize. Twins trail Sox by only one and a half games. It’s a great race.

by Twins on Jul 13, 2008 12:44 AM CDT   0 recs

It

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 12:45 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

*It's July.

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 12:45 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

who let ssh get 2 accounts

i don’t want to see any more of this tomfoolery on this guestbook. and get off my motherfucking lawn.---good ole larry

by furby2056 on Jul 13, 2008 12:45 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i don't know, but they apparently don't make him cleverer.

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 12:46 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

not at all

i don’t want to see any more of this tomfoolery on this guestbook. and get off my motherfucking lawn.---good ole larry

by furby2056 on Jul 13, 2008 12:48 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

reason floyd sucks: does crosswords; reason danks is good: plays poker.

Danks aces test
Lefty gets victory vs. former team with help from Konerko, Thome

July 13, 2008
Recommend (4)

BY JOE COWLEY jcowley@suntimes.com

ARLINGTON, Texas—In hindsight, it wasn’t real difficult to see that pitcher Gavin Floyd was headed for a long night on Friday.

After all, just minutes after he sat down to start working on a crossword puzzle before his start, he yelled, ’’Hey, ‘Coop,’ what did you have for 1 across?’‘

Lefty John Danks clearly has a different makeup.

Hours before his start Saturday, Danks was juggling the 40 tickets he had to come up with for friends and family, while making sure a Texas Hold ‘em showdown with Jermaine Dye and Juan Uribe didn’t escalate from just friendly shouting.

Never easy to do when Uribe is involved.

Danks was calm, cool and in control. Not one sign of confusion.
__

gosh, i remember when being calm, cool and in control was a bad thing. sign of confusion, eh.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 10:22 AM CDT   0 recs

Calm, cool, and in control...doesn't that mean he's not firey enough? "Cool" sounds suspiciously California to me.

Maybe I’ll e-mail Cowley and ask for a clarification.

Announcer: [A fan] from Frederick, Maryland, wants to know why you don't go out and get some more team speed.

Weaver: Team speed, for Chrissake, you get BLEEP god damn little fleas on the bases getting picked off trying to steal, getting thrown out, taking runs away from you. You get them big BLEEP who can hit the BLEEP ball out of the BLEEP ballpark and you can't make any god damn mistakes.

by hitlesswonder on Jul 13, 2008 11:16 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I just read that, was about to post the same thing

What a stupid fucking article. Danks is better than Floyd because he’s a better pitcher, not because of some voodoo mind bullshit.

Meanwhile the average fan continues to be mislead by this garbage. Puke.

by madvillian on Jul 13, 2008 11:59 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Maddux too,

Though that could be faulty memory

AIM: SouthSideCheat

by The Cheat on Jul 13, 2008 12:21 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

someone else who watched wordplay?

yeah, those guys suck.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 12:23 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i knew that.

considering how you’re hot-headed and unable to deal with pressure

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 12:27 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

"never easy to do when uribe is involved."

because he will kill you just for beating him in poker. uribe’s a ruthless murderer and his bloodlust must be satiated.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:30 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

that's how i read it.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:31 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

is there any other way?

The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.

by The Wizard on Jul 13, 2008 1:32 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

implied almost to the point of being actually written.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:33 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

email sent.

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 2:06 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

clayton richard is starting in the minor league all-star game in five minutes on espn

getz will be playing at some point, as well.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 11:25 AM CDT   0 recs

hard to take much from a 13 pitch outing.

got screwed a bit by a bad throw from his SS on a sure DP. after that, didn’t pay attention to the guy on second (elvis andrus) who stole third easily. seemed to lose his command a bit and walked the next guy. induced another grounder which was a near DP, on which the (unearned) run scored. 1 hit, 1 BB, 1 unearned.

you can see why he has the results he has. even with some trouble throwing strikes, no one made good contact and he got a few grounders.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 12:05 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

from will lingo's BA blog on clayton

The World team converted one hit into an unearned run to open the game with a quick 1-0 lead.

Second baseman Ivan DeJesus opened the game with a single off lefthander Clayton Richard. He was erased when shortstop Elvis Andrus hit into a fielder’s choice, but an errant throw on the attempted double play by U.S. shortstop Jason Donald allowed Andrus to reach second. Andrus then stole third, outfielder Wilkin Ramirez walked, and Andrus scored when catcher Pablo Sandoval hit into a fielder’s choice (on a nice play by Donald to save a base hit). Third baseman Luke Hughes flied out to end the inning.

Richard worked mostly off his fastball against the World team, peaking at 91 mph but consistently pitching in the 87-90 range. He also threw a few changeups in an inning that was sloppy but did not see him get hit hard.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:37 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

chris getz now in the game.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:08 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

and will be leading off next inning.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:09 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

grounded out. but the announcers couldn't stop talking about how fast he was in almost beating out a routine grounder.

i was less impressed but whatever.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:20 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i'll take the excellent fielding play he just made.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:27 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

and then gets owned by an A ball pitcher.

high upside getz is not.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 2:06 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Today's Game

I hope i’m wrong, but with Contreras going today in that ballpark with that lineup I am not very confident of a win. I’ll DVR the game and hope that I am wrong. Even if Contreras pitches relatively well, I’m not confident of our bullpen of late. Somebody splain where I’m wrong!

by Alan Snipes on Jul 13, 2008 11:44 AM CDT   0 recs

If he has the forkball

he will do well. If he’s floating it up there like the last few starts, he won’t.

Pretty simple.

Coffee is for closers.

by vince_ on Jul 13, 2008 11:55 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

paying that much to watch the cubs lose in the world series would be the culmination of 100 years of slaps in the face from that organization. i'd feel like an abused dog who can't help but go back to it's master.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:38 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

BID WITH CONFIDENCE as I have 100% Positive Feedback!!!

there’s another part in that equation!

The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.

by The Wizard on Jul 13, 2008 1:42 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

hmmm.

sounds like somebody is short of cash. i’m sure someone could calculate, but i’d bet the interest rate on such a “loan” if the cubs don’t make the world series is pretty good. and i wouldn’t ever send someone $6K+ if it wasn’t in escrow until the tix reach me.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:45 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

crede getting a rest ahead of the ASG; uribe in.

i guess we’ll find out if he can play a better third than pablo.

AJ out, as well, of course.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 12:24 PM CDT   0 recs

I've been begging for Uribe over Pablo at third.

but after Crede’s game yesterday, I’d like to see him back out there (assuming he’s not hurting)

Crede cashed in his popups for flyouts-legitimate flyouts-to right field. Either his swing is so far off that he can’t pop it up anymore, or he was just about to start driving the ball. Each option seems equally as likely

AIM: SouthSideCheat

by The Cheat on Jul 13, 2008 12:32 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

definitely agree

Crede looked good out there with the bat yesterday. Glove not so much, but that hasn’t been rare.

are you trying to use stats around here? what the fuck do you think this is? - MM

by colintj on Jul 13, 2008 1:24 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

juanito is the 3rd string catcher too (is 'string' football-only terminology?)
The Sox are carrying only two catchers on their 25-man roster. Manager Ozzie Guillen, after joking that bullpen catcher Mark Salas would be the emergency third catcher, reluctantly said that infielder Juan Uribe would take over if backup Toby Hall got hurt and Pierzynski wasn’t available.
http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports_hardball/2008/07/pierzynskis-sca.html

The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.

by The Wizard on Jul 13, 2008 1:38 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i'm pretty sure uribe was the proverbial emergency catcher even before ozuna left.

despite legend.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:40 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Uribe

He’s fat enough he can just sit back there and block any pitch.

Coffee is for closers.

by vince_ on Jul 13, 2008 2:03 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

considering the last month, the question might be whether uribe can play 3rd better than crede (all-star that he is.)

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:40 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

hey larry, if you are, in fact, the playboy lawyer of love, then i would like to bang you.

i just felt the need to get that out there.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:45 PM CDT   0 recs

i'm glad someone actually got that. even if it did take, like, twenty hours.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:46 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i had no idea what you were talking about until i just caught the commercial on wgn. she's not bad.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 1:52 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

i realized that people on here apparently aren't even half-listening to the commercials during the game.

i only heard it and wasn’t aware it was a busty blonde until i saw the commercial again later.

And the Twins have the advantage of being a better team than the Sox. - hitlesswonder

by larry on Jul 13, 2008 1:54 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I replied to your 'lawyer of love' post too

here’s a sample of larry’s work:

Steve, Bolder CO:

Can I date during my divorce?

The Lawyer of Love:

This is a bad idea. If you are seeking custody of your children and your dating activities take time away from your kids, your spouse will undoubtedly use this against you. If you are spending money on your girlfriend - and even if you are not, your spouse will say you are - your spouse will spend thousands making allegations that you are dissipating the marital estate.

Dating during your divorce will also lengthen your divorce and increase the amount of funds you spend on attorneys’ fees and costs. Even if your spouse has some young strapping stud boyfriend at her side, you are rubbing salt in her wounds by dating during the divorce. She will then become more peeved (if that is even possible) and ensure that the case does not end until you are sufficiently tortured.

If you are that needy, buy a dog.

The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.

by The Wizard on Jul 13, 2008 1:57 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

ahh, women.

does she honestly think guys date for companionship? nope. it’s because we can’t blow ourselves. also, eating a sandwich is more fun when someone else made it for you.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 2:05 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

what about

eating a sandwich someone else made for you while said someone else is blowing you?

He was banned for today partly because he uses bad words (in a mean way; unlike everyone else who only use them when absolutely necessary in order to fight the terrorists)

by whitesoxmatt on Jul 13, 2008 3:08 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

that, my friend, is the only reason i ever date.

fuck you, that's my name!! you know why, mister? 'cause you drove a hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar bmw. that's my name!!

by MarketMaker on Jul 13, 2008 3:43 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

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