The Dark Knight sucked

by Seymizzle on Jul 22, 2008 12:09 AM CDT

I was stupid enough to go see the movie The Dark Knight and to sum it up in a few words review - it SUCKS.

Right from the beginning the movie lived off of the fact that one of their main protagonists - Heath Ledger died. As much as the passing of Heath Ledger was a very sad thing to happen, it did help promote the movie and made people talk about it and want to go see it. Had Heath Ledger not died, The Dark Knight would be just another Batman movie that makes a few million dollars and is put on a shelf as pretty good, but nothing much.

I wish I could classify The Dark Knight as “pretty good, but nothing much” but considering this is a 2008 movie, I can’t. All I can say is - The Dark Knight Sucked! It sucked elephant balls.

And… and this has got to be a fucking joke - did those people in Hollywood, in particular Warner Bros not notice that it’s fucking 2008 already? Batman used to wear rubber costumes back in the 70’s when computer effects were not as advanced. This has been figured out by movie studios from 1980’s and now, three decades later, Warner Bros come with a movie where Batman wears a silly rubber costume. Give me a fucking break, what a failure. The Dark Knight Sucks!

Nevermind third grade special effects, let me get back to terrible acting and absolutely horrible cast (once again, Heath ledger DID do a great job, he’s not included in this

The movie itself has way too many long and boring passages. I can’t imagine anyone who’d buy a DVD watching it without a remote control in their hands. Never ending, boring scenes that take away from any potential excitement you may have accumulated during some potentially exciting minute.

Overall I find The Dark Knight a joke. A failure. The Dark Knight Sucks. If it wasn’t for Heath Ledger’s death, it would have never broken the Box Office records. He was the only one who did decent job acting and he’s the sole reason why box office figures for this movie seem to suggest it’s a success. Look past the tip of your nose and you’ll see a worthless movie that’s a waste of time to watch. It will irritate you with hissing sounds main characters make as they speak and the special effects look like they were done a few decades back.

The joke robotic voice run through 1978 voice effector that Batman uses when he’s dressed up in his 1965 rubber batman suit that went out of style for Halloween 25 years ago sort of masks irritating voice of Christian Bale, but it is such a joke, you ask yourself inside – what in the crappy hell am I doing in the movie theater. Is this a movie for backwards people who still live in the 70’s and haven’t noticed that the world has moved forward, or are we in an asylum for mentally challenged so we’re going to clap even if something sucks?

The Dark Knight = FAIL

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Hey, it's like our own little Marrioti!

Except this one failed out of community college!

The fact that they shot most of the action scenes in IMAX kinda FAILS your whole premise.

by madvillian on Jul 22, 2008 12:21 AM CDT 0 recs

So CGI action automatically equals good?

That’s slightly ridiculous…considering they did most of the stunts in this movie old-school. And most CGI stunts just end up looking like crap.
I watched Heath Ledger and Christian Bale beat the crap out of each other near the Sedgewick EL stop in Chicago a year ago…I also saw them film the truck scene by LaSalle….and it was amazing.

The movie was fantastic…if not a little long.
Oh. and Gary Oldman and Michael Caine are amazing in basically everything they do.

by CubanMissileCrisis on Jul 22, 2008 12:26 AM CDT 0 recs

Is this your post or someone else's?

Just wondering because of the text box.

In any event, the Dark Knight is most probably the precursor to the 2nd coming of Christ, so shut up you blind heathen.

I was a multiple time all star throughout my little league career. Won 5 championships- 4 in a row- thats more in a row than MJ… (kenwo4life@aol.com)

by Ozzie Montana on Jul 22, 2008 12:32 AM CDT 0 recs

Somebody else wrote the post I just happen to agree with it.

by Seymizzle on Jul 22, 2008 5:16 AM CDT up 0 recs

apparently you missed on of the main points of the movie. stealing and passing off as your own isn't okay.

by larry on Jul 22, 2008 11:58 AM CDT up 1 recs

the costume as too bulky

Joker was good, top notch. they can make like 5 sequels with him…. oh, wait, nevermind. HE GONE!

they need to go and do the dark knight returns. they touched on that with the batman impersonators, but still, the story with him vs supes would be the shit, and the communist enemy would be funny in these crusading times.

’’We have the horses. Everyone has to stay positive and keep grinding." -Kenny
"Its almost gotten to be obscene that we cant get a man in from third base." -Hawk

by e-gus on Jul 22, 2008 2:18 AM CDT 0 recs

as

= was

’’We have the horses. Everyone has to stay positive and keep grinding." -Kenny
"Its almost gotten to be obscene that we cant get a man in from third base." -Hawk

by e-gus on Jul 22, 2008 2:18 AM CDT 0 recs

FIAL

i don’t want to see any more of this tomfoolery on this guestbook. and get off my motherfucking lawn.---good ole larry

by furby2056 on Jul 22, 2008 2:35 AM CDT up 0 recs

Why don't they make it funny?

like the camp one with Mr West, I’d go see that. don’t like the look of the new one. Too much Black.

regards

Sox fan from England, marching on together

by hoodlight on Jul 22, 2008 7:01 AM CDT 0 recs

Actually, it was hysterical and extremely well-done, yet still maintains a "realistic" quality that campier versions lack.

Heath is absolutely hilarious, more than scary/dark.

And for the writer of this post: FAIL!
I haven’t spoken to one single person who thought A singular scene was boring, let alone many scenes, enough to necessitate an entire rack. I could’ve watched another 3 hours and done so happily.

CG doth not make a good film. Nolan’s approach to old-school stunts is far more impressive – especially when you see the quality and beautiful cinematography amidst the real stunts. Fuck CG.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 9:24 AM CDT up 0 recs

I thought it was too long.

They could have chopped out the last twenty minutes or so and saved it for the next movie and I’d have been fine. None of it was really boring but the longer a movie takes to get from climax to credits, the more it suffers. This one had four acts when it should have stopped at three.
Ledger really was amazing.

Optimist

by Peder on Jul 22, 2008 9:42 AM CDT up 0 recs

I thought the 2 Face climax should have been saved for the 3rd movie

I’m not as big on comics as others may be, but i think the quality of Batman villians really takes a dive after Joker and 2 Face. They can bring in Penguin, but who else? Mr. Freeze? Riddler?

I was a multiple time all star throughout my little league career. Won 5 championships- 4 in a row- thats more in a row than MJ… (kenwo4life@aol.com)

by Ozzie Montana on Jul 22, 2008 1:11 PM CDT up 0 recs

Or ...

catwoman?

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 1:12 PM CDT up 0 recs

ick

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 1:12 PM CDT up 0 recs

Void times a million

Unless they get Michael Bay to direct, then get Megan Fox in the tit(ha)ular role and enjoy.

I was a multiple time all star throughout my little league career. Won 5 championships- 4 in a row- thats more in a row than MJ… (kenwo4life@aol.com)

by Ozzie Montana on Jul 22, 2008 1:35 PM CDT up 0 recs

I can't believe you just said Michael Bay.

That could be the most epic piece crap ever made.

(the hypothetical third film, not Michael Bay).

(he is already an epic piece of crap).

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 1:43 PM CDT up 0 recs

STFU for those of us who were not camped out at midnight last weekend,

will ya?

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 1:13 PM CDT up 0 recs

I saw it last night old man

In IMAX, definitley worth the extra 3 bucks. Seeing Morgan Freeman’s freckles on a 5 story screen just gives you chills down your spine.

I was a multiple time all star throughout my little league career. Won 5 championships- 4 in a row- thats more in a row than MJ… (kenwo4life@aol.com)

by Ozzie Montana on Jul 22, 2008 1:29 PM CDT up 0 recs

Always with the names. Can't we just get along?

Now go get your shine box!

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 1:31 PM CDT up 0 recs

Alright...I'll send you a present

I was a multiple time all star throughout my little league career. Won 5 championships- 4 in a row- thats more in a row than MJ… (kenwo4life@aol.com)

by Ozzie Montana on Jul 22, 2008 1:33 PM CDT up 1 recs

Rec.

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 1:54 PM CDT up 0 recs

Those are just the ones that have already been done

there are a number of bad ass villains from the show and/or comic. I always liked Clayface, though they would have to go into CGI for that.

If Nolan is in fact going to write and direct the third movie, it won’t be with Penguin, he already spoke about how Penguin just wouldn’t work.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Riddler as the new villain. He would fit the pyschotic mold that Joker set out as well as force Batman to do some cool detective work again. Riddler could be cool as long as they take a dark approach to the character (which I’m assuming they will) rather than having Ace Ventura play the Riddler

-Jeeves Life in the Cell

by jeeves on Jul 22, 2008 3:18 PM CDT up 0 recs

Ah Clayfaceeee

I remember him from the cartoon (early 90s FOX), would definitley fit the bill as “dark brooding villian with a secret past” that Nolan would want.

I was a multiple time all star throughout my little league career. Won 5 championships- 4 in a row- thats more in a row than MJ… (kenwo4life@aol.com)

by Ozzie Montana on Jul 22, 2008 4:14 PM CDT up 0 recs

The Dark Knight has been arrested

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,388124,00.html

Bad karma with this movie so far…or else they are just a PR machine! Death, arrest, nothing is too over-the-top!

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 9:31 AM CDT 0 recs

That hurts my soul to read.

Christian Bale can do no wrong by me.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 10:19 AM CDT up 0 recs

You sure about that? Go watch this movie...

“Reign of Fire”.

by SSH2005 on Jul 22, 2008 10:26 AM CDT up 1 recs

rec'd

i don’t want to see any more of this tomfoolery on this guestbook. and get off my motherfucking lawn.---good ole larry

by furby2056 on Jul 22, 2008 10:33 AM CDT up 0 recs

Yeah yeah yeah...

And to be honest, since I read American Psycho before seeing the film, I really hated his interpretation of Patrick Bateman. I don’t think he read the novel first….despite how great everyone thinks that performance/film was.

However, the love remains.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 11:00 AM CDT up 0 recs

You women love your bad boys

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 12:58 PM CDT up 0 recs

Dexter ruined American Psycho for me

Why so serious?

by reardenmettle on Jul 22, 2008 11:50 PM CDT up 0 recs

he's the american psycho isn't he

He was a catcher with the Orioles back in the day. Sorry looking (expletive). My brother had his card. He looked like this little kid who got left at a bus station by his parents. You know why? Because he had to catch Hoyt Wilhelms knuckle ball five (expletive) years.

by onlysoxfaninboston on Jul 22, 2008 10:36 AM CDT up 0 recs

Yes...

Good movie.

by SSH2005 on Jul 22, 2008 10:41 AM CDT up 0 recs

he beat up his sister and his mother

what a twat, to his own mother, I hope he dies horribly and in a great deal of pain very soon.

regards

Sox fan from England, marching on together

by hoodlight on Jul 22, 2008 11:13 AM CDT up 0 recs

So says Fox News...."allegedly"....

come on.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 12:02 PM CDT up 0 recs

I have different sources to Fox Fucking News

Sox fan from England, marching on together

by hoodlight on Jul 22, 2008 12:17 PM CDT up 0 recs

Relative is a porter at the hotel?

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 12:58 PM CDT up 0 recs

haha, wrong bad boy.

But seriously, who even knows if his mom/sis are estranged and just lashing out because it’s a prime time to do so? Maybe they aren’t seeing any of his cash because they are drugged out crack-whores and he has half a brain to distance himself.

We just don’t know. They could’ve deserved a slap.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 1:12 PM CDT up 0 recs

he's got form for it

look at pictures of them together, look at her eyes, they always have loads of makeup round them to cover up where he has blacked them

Sox fan from England, marching on together

by hoodlight on Jul 22, 2008 1:25 PM CDT up 0 recs

do you think when he hit her

a big “THWOKK!” magically appeared in the air?

I think we should be told

Sox fan from England, marching on together

by hoodlight on Jul 22, 2008 1:33 PM CDT up 0 recs

Oh goodness,

I hope so.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 1:46 PM CDT up 0 recs

Nice Batman sound effect

Your pimp hand is strong.

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 1:54 PM CDT up 0 recs

So let me get this straight...

You hated the Dark Knight… but didn’t think your own words would do your sense of hatred justice… so you chose this poorly constructed rant to represent your feelings? And on top of that… you thought this rant so convincing you decided it MUST be posted on a baseball blog? A blog, might I add, that is known for using logical analysis and is regularly opposed to troll-like behavior.

Now if you wanted to have a reasoned discussion about the merits and flaws of The Dark Knight, I am sure plenty of people here would be willing to engage you. But this post is just blind internet flaming.

(My 2 cents on the actual movie: a lot of the movie was great, but the ending felt a bit tacked on. Without giving too much away, the turn was too sudden and jarring. I agree with Peder, some of it should have been spaced out into another movie)

by CatBrains on Jul 22, 2008 10:30 AM CDT 0 recs

i thought that the movie was fucking awesome and i can't wait to see it again...

holy shit heath ledger was great…the scene in the jail with batman and joker might be one of the best…

i don’t want to see any more of this tomfoolery on this guestbook. and get off my motherfucking lawn.---good ole larry

by furby2056 on Jul 22, 2008 3:08 PM CDT up 0 recs

So let's see...

The main criticisms of this movie are that the special effects “sucked,” the costumes weren’t made by UnderArmour, and it was too long?

Give me a break. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but those are ridiculous critiques.

by mjthor on Jul 22, 2008 12:39 PM CDT 0 recs

Well, many have said the movie is too long, including me

I like it, but they could have cut 30 minutes out no problem. The denoument was too long.

by madvillian on Jul 22, 2008 12:56 PM CDT up 0 recs

Bring back Adam West!

There was nothing quite like the 60’s version of Batman – Bruce and Dick living together with their auntie and man servant. The sexual tension between Batman and “The Boy Wonder” (any guesses how Dick got his moniker?) was phenomenal.

Holy leotard bulge Batman!

"Everybody looks at the Cubs. Look at the White Sox. They're a pretty good ballclub." - Lou Piniella (6/29/08)

by tailgater on Jul 22, 2008 12:46 PM CDT 0 recs

For you old timers...Batmobile vs. The Mach 5

Which was cooler? Discuss.

"Everybody looks at the Cubs. Look at the White Sox. They're a pretty good ballclub." - Lou Piniella (6/29/08)

by tailgater on Jul 22, 2008 12:47 PM CDT up 0 recs

You are, how do I say this, OLD.

BWAHAHAHA! Take that!

My wife is the marketing VP overseeing “lifestyle malls” for an Australian strip mall company that happens to own a large local mall with an IMAX. (Record, record numbers there, BTW.) She gets an e-mail from a guy asking what PG-13 means and if his 12 and 6 (yes, SIX) -year-olds are ALLOWED to attend. Nice movie to ALLOW your 6 year old to watch, I bet.

I live in a common-sense wasteland.

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 1:02 PM CDT up 0 recs

I can't tell if you mean Florida, or America in general.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 1:08 PM CDT up 0 recs

I speak for America, of course,

but I mean FL, esp. Central FL. As I send my first pvt. school tuition payment for my 5 year old this week it reminds me what is important down here, and it ain’t education.

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 1:12 PM CDT up 0 recs

Yeah, I thought so.

Florida seems to be their own little country down there.
I’ve always thought that Texas and Florida could just sorta drift away and the rest of America wouldn’t suffer all that much for it.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 1:20 PM CDT up 0 recs

For some reason I feel like Massachucetts could belong in that category as well

I was a multiple time all star throughout my little league career. Won 5 championships- 4 in a row- thats more in a row than MJ… (kenwo4life@aol.com)

by Ozzie Montana on Jul 22, 2008 1:36 PM CDT up 0 recs

coming up on the time of year

when ice, plywood, and blue tarps are important.

Mosi Tatupu! Mosi Tatupu!

by Nordhagen on Jul 22, 2008 1:35 PM CDT up 0 recs

I live in a land where blue tarps are essential year-round.

I believe in Harvey Dent

by homesickalien on Jul 22, 2008 1:48 PM CDT up 0 recs

You got it.

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 1:55 PM CDT up 0 recs

Look Jerry Garcia's been found alive

in Serbia

Sox fan from England, marching on together

by hoodlight on Jul 22, 2008 1:27 PM CDT 0 recs

Burl Ives? Leon Russell?

The Butkus year - time to knock everyone on their ass.

by winningugly on Jul 22, 2008 1:56 PM CDT up 0 recs

Ballyb?

In two weeks they will win 7 or 8 in a row and you all will have 10 inch boners.

by Chiburb on Jul 22, 2008 2:18 PM CDT up 0 recs

I loved the movie because of all of the strong female and minority roles.

by xian on Jul 22, 2008 10:25 PM CDT 0 recs

I'll probably catch the second half of this movie on TBS five years from now.

Sorry, I felt left out.

I CAN'T STAND IT.
Sox Machine

by Sox Machine on Jul 22, 2008 10:56 PM CDT 0 recs

the dark knight

one of those rare films where it’s actually better than the fanboy hype.

Also, it’s beyond comic book or even blockbusters, it’s a great film.

MrROFL.com
My Twitter

by shaftr on Jul 23, 2008 12:50 AM CDT 0 recs

Yeah dont get some of these comments at all

It was one of the few movies I felt I got my full money’s worth. It was NOT too long and I thought the last piece was critical to showing how it moved beyond a mere comic book movie and into the darker side of human nature. Ledger was great, the rest of the cast was great. I would and will pay to see it again in IMAX. And as for posting a silly review, passing it off as your own, then saying merely I just agree with it, is just well stupid.

The SSS motto should be the answer to "What is our deepest fear?". Or maybe just Prozac.

by Tdogg on Jul 23, 2008 6:39 AM CDT up 0 recs

Your critique sucks

The movie was great. Additionally, there were some great shots of Chicago. I loved it when they blew up the parking garage by the old Brach’s candy factory. It will go down as one of the best movies shot in Chicago, including Blues Brothers and The Fugitive.

"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

by thekever on Jul 23, 2008 8:21 AM CDT 0 recs