Floyd Wins a Snoozer
The Sox had as many hits against Brian Burres before he recorded an out Wednesday as they did in 8 innings of effort in April. The recap of that game describes a fait accompli, all but over when John Danks lost his perfect game and shutout in the 6th inning. This game had pretty much the same feel, though thankfully with the teams reversed.
Orlando Cabrera led off the game with a bloop double, and Nick Swisher, batting in the #2 hole with AJ Pierzynski getting the night off, hit a HR in the game's second at-bat, to set the tempo for the night. All told, the Sox pounded out 9 extra-base hits on the evening, including 3 by Cabrera, to give themselves a 6-0 lead by the middle of the 4th inning and send the gamethreads into a blissfully sweet slumber.
Looking back at that April recap, the Sox have come a long way from the team "weighed down by three automatic outs at the bottom of the lineup." They've been downright dangerous from 1 through 9 since the addition of their new hitting coach at the deadline. Dare I say, they're even beating up the teams and pitchers you're supposed to bash into last week, the RA Dickeys of the baseball world. They almost look like a playoff team. Almost.
The last 30 games will tell the story.
* * * * *
Swisher left the game after fouling a ball of his leg. The leg was last seen in the mouth a wolf roaming Baltimore's inner harbor on a skateboard*, which is a dangerous place for a skateboarding wolf, dude. It's not known if Swisher's prosthetic leg, fashioned out of a discarded baseball bat (ash, not maple), will be ready in time for tomorrow's game.
* Everyone knows wolves can't ride skateboards. Stupid.
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furst
yaeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!
"term: pussy, user: larry, count: 11
term: pussy, user: all, count: 83" - wiz
by Where Triples Go to Die on Aug 26, 2008 10:13 PM CDT 0 recs
awesome
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on
Aug 26, 2008 10:20 PM CDT
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lol, just read this:
“they accepted it (the resignation), it was my call entirely”
no shit? Like a movie star walks into a studio and goes, “I’m not making this film. Films about extra-terrestial dolphins having sex with the Olsen twins are a dying breed, fuck you”
And the guy is like “OK, cya”.
And then the actor reports it was all his decision — uh, thanks.
by madvillian on
Aug 26, 2008 10:24 PM CDT
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Jay is that 1% of journalists that is well known enough (and not by any sort of merit)
that can make that decision and not give a fuck about where the next meal will come from. I’m sure with his other deals in TV he has plenty of disposable income.
That said, he’s probably pissed he hasn’t’ gotten the ESPN.com invite yet.
by madvillian on
Aug 26, 2008 10:20 PM CDT
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I'd like to know what website would be dumb enough to hire him
He’s obviously looking to get out of the newspaper business. I’m sure he’s livid ESPN.com hasn’t come knocking yet. With all the crap he’s said in the past about blogs, it’s going to be hilarious to see him trying to become part of one now.
by El Duque's Raft on
Aug 26, 2008 10:26 PM CDT
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When has hypocrisy stopped him before?
I’m sure plenty of websites would like to hire him, just because he generates controversy, which generates traffic.
Coffee is for closers.
by vince_ on
Aug 26, 2008 10:26 PM CDT
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Absopositutley. Replace "plenty of" with "virtually all which are run for profit".
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 26, 2008 10:28 PM CDT
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I haven't read anything he's written in 3+ years
One of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. I would enjoy nothing more than seeing some website hire him and for him to fail miserably.
by El Duque's Raft on
Aug 26, 2008 10:31 PM CDT
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He doesn't generate controversy
as much as he just spews whatever comes to his mind. He’s not clever nor funny. I just can’t believe that people actually go out of their way to see what his wretched opinion is on topics.
by El Duque's Raft on
Aug 26, 2008 10:33 PM CDT
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I don't read him
But I don’t think the Sun-Times gave him a 3 year extension because he doesn’t get readers!
Coffee is for closers.
by vince_ on
Aug 26, 2008 10:38 PM CDT
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The issue isn't whether he's a giant bag of dicks. He is.
But he does generate intense reaction and therefore interest, like it or not. Much like car crashes, bear attacks and SSH.
I have always thought he was actually a good writer too.
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 26, 2008 10:39 PM CDT
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great. thanks for that comparison
now I’m gonna have to see SSH sporting a new sig “SSH = ratings”
AIM: SouthSideCheat
by The Cheat on
Aug 26, 2008 10:41 PM CDT
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ironically, it appears that kenwo did not, in fact, = ratings.
You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
by MarketMaker on
Aug 27, 2008 12:12 AM CDT
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MM=ratings=beautiful
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on
Aug 27, 2008 12:14 AM CDT
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ah yes
The transitive property of Market Maker.
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on
Aug 27, 2008 2:57 AM CDT
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And I will disagree
Don’t know if this was discussed on another thread but I think Jack Woltz from your Godfather analogy should be Billy Beane, with the horse’s head actually being Faustino DLS’s right arm. Payback for the Billy Koch trade. Andy Gonzalez would be Mary Corleone, worst character in the trilogy = worst player in sox history.
by El Duque's Raft on
Aug 26, 2008 10:44 PM CDT
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He is good at crafting sentences and putting them together in a compelling fashion
But he never invested real thought into his stuff, so I didn’t see a reason, either.
Chip, chip, chip, chip.
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on
Aug 26, 2008 10:45 PM CDT
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I tried your replacement suggestion.
And the resulting sentence made my head hurt.
“I’m sure virtually all of which are run for profit websites would like to hire him…”
Now I’m at work, it’s 9am, and I have a headache. I hate you.
by ReservoirDog on
Aug 27, 2008 9:02 AM CDT
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Ironically
His reasoning for leaving newspapers is probably the most reasonable/rational thing I’ve ever seen him say/write.
Coffee is for closers.
by vince_ on
Aug 26, 2008 10:26 PM CDT
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the grammar police are hot on the trail of this article.
You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
by MarketMaker on
Aug 27, 2008 12:10 AM CDT
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AMERICA CAN LAUGH AGAIN

Uribe whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
by thecip on
Aug 27, 2008 8:36 AM CDT
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Uh, yea.
Great win that further emphasizes the division is the Sox’ to lose.
On a side note, I think the zeitgeist here has fallen too far into the silly category at the expense of adding new visitors, and it starts from the top down. Groupthink will probably disagree with me by posting pictures of dead animals and spelling fail fial and things.
All that stuff is great for those in the know, not so much for someone googling Sox blogs.
Oh well, SSS is still my home, can’t complain too much.
by madvillian on Aug 26, 2008 10:18 PM CDT 0 recs
This is a blog about millionaires who play a kid's game
Silliness is built in to the process, I’m afraid.
Coffee is for closers.
by vince_ on
Aug 26, 2008 10:22 PM CDT
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It starts from the top, is right
but I’m at my best—my best being adequate—when there’s something actually going on. A trade, groupthink from media in opposition to SSS groupthink.
I don’t really know what to do with boring ass victories.
AIM: SouthSideCheat
by The Cheat on
Aug 26, 2008 10:24 PM CDT
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I don't think there are more Sox fans looking for a blog
I’m pretty sure we are all there are….
by hitlesswonder on
Aug 26, 2008 10:24 PM CDT
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It's awesome that Nate Silver, one the smartest and sharpest online people I know
Is a Sox fan. And Obama! Fucking awesome.
by madvillian on
Aug 26, 2008 10:28 PM CDT
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McCain? Huge, huge Punto fan.
And Erstad.
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 26, 2008 10:30 PM CDT
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it's a long season, man. i really don't think there are that many subjects that should/need to be addressed on a day-to-day basis.
i don’t think there’s ever been a lack of poignant discussion on any actual news that’s relating to the sox, but i can’t imagine anyone would want this site to pour over the trivial minutiae of every moment of every game. sanity forces us to get a little macro in our approach to a 162 game season. otherwise, we’d all come off like SSH.
You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
by MarketMaker on
Aug 27, 2008 12:19 AM CDT
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y r u against obsessive, masturbatory number crunching?
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 27, 2008 12:21 AM CDT
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obsessive, masturbatory number crunching ftw!
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on
Aug 27, 2008 12:22 AM CDT
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cuz numburs r dumb and i hate em.
i dont need numburs to tell me crede hit some moar popups.
You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
by MarketMaker on
Aug 27, 2008 12:22 AM CDT
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yeah.
You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
by MarketMaker on
Aug 27, 2008 12:23 AM CDT
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touche.
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on
Aug 27, 2008 12:26 AM CDT
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huh?
You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
by MarketMaker on
Aug 27, 2008 12:27 AM CDT
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?huh
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on
Aug 27, 2008 10:46 AM CDT
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I disagree
I’m just a lurker here, but I’ll throw my opinion in as a reader. I love you guys in the comments, but I’ve got two complaints…
1) There’s a lot of self-referential stuff that makes it difficult for somebody new to come in. I read the site daily and sometimes I get lost. *
2) The front page is neglected. It’s been a lot better lately, as most games have a recap (which is awesome!), but when there is breaking news it’s often not posted on the front in a timely manner if at all. You’ve got to go into the last active FP post and scroll half-way down to find out that OMGWTF GRIFFEY?! **
( * ) It amazes me that there are hundreds of comments on each gamethread but there seems to only be a fraction of that in active posters.
( ** ) There are sometimes fanshots, but those rarely have comments and most of the discussion goes on in some random gamethread or thread from another topic.
Just my two-cents, I’ll go back to lurking :)
by azzy on
Aug 27, 2008 2:04 AM CDT
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one of us
one of us
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on
Aug 27, 2008 8:30 AM CDT
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gooble gobble gooble gobble
Lurking since 2006
by boyonthedock on
Aug 27, 2008 10:15 AM CDT
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Mariners continue to be Twins' kryptonite through the 5th
2-0 Seattle
Coffee is for closers.
by vince_ on Aug 26, 2008 10:28 PM CDT 0 recs
I got a text at 4 AM when I woke up today.
Saying the same thing. A nice wake-up surprise.
:)
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on
Aug 27, 2008 8:54 AM CDT
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R. Rowland Smith is an asshole
learn how to throw
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on Aug 26, 2008 10:34 PM CDT 0 recs
That's Lord Ryan Rowland-Smith to you, my good man.
Regards.
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 26, 2008 10:36 PM CDT
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Adrian Beltre is rapidly becoming one of my favorite non-Sox.
by The Actual El Guapo on Aug 26, 2008 10:42 PM CDT 0 recs
He and Ibanez are closely tied in my book.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on
Aug 27, 2008 8:54 AM CDT
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Punto popped out to third.
I could gaze longingly at these words for all eternity and never tire of their beauty.
by The Actual El Guapo on Aug 26, 2008 10:54 PM CDT 0 recs
bet you think i meant to reply to the beltre love.
sucker.
by Trooper on
Aug 26, 2008 10:56 PM CDT
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Any response that shares the endless bliss that is the Punto pop-up is appropriate.
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 26, 2008 10:57 PM CDT
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I would love to see a Punto/Joe Crede pop-off
Coffee is for closers.
by vince_ on
Aug 26, 2008 11:01 PM CDT
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The difference is that all of Punto's pop-outs are productive outs.
Actually, all of the Twins’ outs are productive outs … and all of their losses are productive losses.
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 26, 2008 11:09 PM CDT
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they just lose the game the right way
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on
Aug 26, 2008 11:10 PM CDT
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*toilet flush*
flush begins, motor starts, water reverses course
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on
Aug 26, 2008 11:12 PM CDT
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"sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing"
Sniff
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on
Aug 27, 2008 3:09 AM CDT
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you win some
you learn something critical from losing some
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on
Aug 26, 2008 11:11 PM CDT
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That Seattle 3,4,5 is such a meat grinder for the Twinkies
it almost makes me hurt
by El Duque's Raft on
Aug 26, 2008 11:01 PM CDT
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Ibanez is OPS'ing a crisp 1.324 vs. the Twins this year -- that's before tonight (and he's 2-for-2)
Beltre is “only” .962 coming into tonight (and he’s 2-3).
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 26, 2008 11:03 PM CDT
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i was gonna say that
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on
Aug 26, 2008 11:09 PM CDT
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no way Baker pitches to him
Reyes has to come in
by El Duque's Raft on
Aug 26, 2008 11:10 PM CDT
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Something called a Breslow has entered the game.
by The Actual El Guapo on
Aug 26, 2008 11:11 PM CDT
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i think he worked on the bomb
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on
Aug 26, 2008 11:11 PM CDT
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breslow? i hardly knew her!
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on
Aug 26, 2008 11:12 PM CDT
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Red Sox, as predicted, acquire Kotsay
Coffee is for closers.
by vince_ on Aug 26, 2008 10:54 PM CDT 0 recs
I would like to thank the sox for winning in such a fashion that I didn't even need to pay attention to know it.
had the radio on very low 2 rooms away while preparing/having people over for dinner, barely heard 3 words in a row, and I still think I have a very good idea how the game went.
I would also like to thank the academy, and the cow that gave up its life for my enjoyment.
by Trooper on Aug 26, 2008 10:59 PM CDT 0 recs
Ibanez is showing reverse splits this year
despite a history of total suck against lefties.
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on Aug 26, 2008 11:10 PM CDT 0 recs
missed it by that much
and apparently the m’s have left the bases juiced twice now?
nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team
by colintj on Aug 26, 2008 11:15 PM CDT 0 recs




