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On your 26th Birthday...

Poll
What does Carlos want for his birthday?
Not to be hit as much.
28 votes
Someone who understands him.
32 votes
A puppy. He will call it Krypto.
52 votes
Swisher to shut up for once.
40 votes
Nothing. He only wants to win.
149 votes
Other (please specify)
11 votes

312 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs | Comment 207 comments

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Clear choice here, though I bet he would love some Mudkips as well.

"I'll take one in the mouth over the eyes anyday." - AJ

by omnipotent grab on Aug 28, 2008 8:55 PM CDT   0 recs

no wai

nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team

by colintj on Aug 28, 2008 10:49 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Crap, I think I have to rec that

First time for everything I guess.

White Sox, that’s baseball.

by vince_ on Aug 28, 2008 10:01 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I think he's turned over a new leaf

maybe we’ll all have to start hating someone new.

my vote is option27

"as much as i hate dj i don't want him to get molested"- BuehrleMan

by U-God on Aug 28, 2008 10:31 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Uribe?

Oh, you said someone new. Carry on, then.

by The Actual El Guapo on Aug 28, 2008 10:47 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

yeah that shit ass fanpost he posted?

what a jinx that guy is.

nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team

by colintj on Aug 28, 2008 10:50 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

You didn't rec his declaration of suckery?!

Hop to!

...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.

by homesickalien on Aug 29, 2008 8:52 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

curse your infernal logic

q wants a boat

Uribe whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

by thecip on Aug 28, 2008 10:33 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

q always knows to pass on the mystery box

nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team

by colintj on Aug 28, 2008 10:48 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

piranhas on the loose? bases loaded, 1 out for morneau, down 1-0 top of 6

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 10:33 PM CDT   0 recs

only got 1. tied ging to bottom of 6.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 10:36 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Ging?

To bottom of 6? You speaking Asian now, roundeye?

"I suck... the Sox don’t." reply actions 25 recs
by SSH2005 on Aug 6, 2008 1:08 AM EDT

by winningugly on Aug 29, 2008 10:55 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

did I read double steal?

PIRANHAS!!!

Uribe whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

by thecip on Aug 28, 2008 10:36 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

hooked on fonics werkd fer u.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 10:37 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I mean really...

double steal…how cute.

Uribe whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

by thecip on Aug 28, 2008 10:40 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Since we're always talking about non-Sox games

McCarthy vs. Garland tonight.

Both with an average fastball of 88.9 according to gameday

AIM: SouthSideCheat

by The Cheat on Aug 28, 2008 10:42 PM CDT   0 recs

even as we look uncertainly into the future

it’s good to know that it could have been worse.

nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team

by colintj on Aug 28, 2008 10:49 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

big frank showing off the warning track power...

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 10:45 PM CDT   0 recs

2-1 a's.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 10:51 PM CDT   0 recs

Seriously, the Twins have

Dennys fucking Reyes on the mound. That’s like the equivalent of Horacio Ramirez times Lance Broadway.

by madvillian on Aug 28, 2008 10:52 PM CDT   0 recs

plus a buck fifty

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 10:52 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

wow, when the fuck did Dennys Reyes turn his career around

If this isn’t a PED suspicious case then shit:

Never had a K/BB better than 2/1 and then in 2006 goes 49/15 with a .89 ERA for 50IP.

You have to be shitting me.

by madvillian on Aug 28, 2008 10:54 PM CDT   0 recs

ryan sweeney just made dye look like a gold glover.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 10:55 PM CDT   0 recs

Fuckballs.

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 10:58 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

indeed. great catch by rajai davis though. 2 down, 2-2, man on 1st

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 10:59 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Not anymore...

After two pickoff attempts, Punto steals 2B on the lefty starter.

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 11:01 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Now there's an injury delay.

I can only assume Punto spiked baby Jesus.

by The Actual El Guapo on Aug 28, 2008 11:03 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

inning ovah.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:03 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Inning over...

2-2 tie.

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 11:03 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

A masterwork!

White Sox, that’s baseball.

by vince_ on Aug 28, 2008 10:58 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I couldn't hold back on that one. I made a new uribe and orca too:

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f364/thecip/orcasucks.gif
http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f364/thecip/ooribe.gif

Uribe whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

by thecip on Aug 28, 2008 11:05 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

both are awesome

nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team

by colintj on Aug 28, 2008 11:30 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Your are full of win.

"I'll take one in the mouth over the eyes anyday." - AJ

by omnipotent grab on Aug 28, 2008 11:12 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

extra R ftl.

"I'll take one in the mouth over the eyes anyday." - AJ

by omnipotent grab on Aug 28, 2008 11:12 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

genius.

i’m in awe.

nothing gets ‘em wetter than infrequent postings on the city’s second favorite team

by colintj on Aug 28, 2008 11:28 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Oh Q, that is fucking funny.

I am starting my morning with some coffee and some good ol’-fashion LOL-ing (sorry Jim).
Thanks Cip!

...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.

by homesickalien on Aug 29, 2008 8:56 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

After seeing the fucking Cubs come back against the Phillies in the 8th inning...

I don’t want to have to stomach a Twinkies win.

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 11:00 PM CDT   0 recs

stop watching cubs games, you masochist.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:01 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

He had pic in pic going tonight

Cubs and the DNC,

… in full leathers, gagball in mouth

AIM: SouthSideCheat

by The Cheat on Aug 28, 2008 11:03 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 11:05 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

reed johnson?

Uribe whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

by thecip on Aug 28, 2008 11:07 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Injury delay in the Twins game?

White Sox, that’s baseball.

by vince_ on Aug 28, 2008 11:03 PM CDT   0 recs

negative.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:03 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

mauer go bye bye

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:16 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

and sweeney makes a nice running extended catch to atone for earlier.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:17 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Amazing job by Jerry Blevins...

Now fucking score a run or two and get your new closer in the game, A’s.

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 11:18 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

cust and thomas to go after crosby hacked at 1st pitch. fuck you, boof.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:19 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

cust just got under it. major league "pop up" ended up a few feet in front of the track.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:21 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Another out by Cust...

This is horseshit.

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 11:21 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

frank looked worse than uribe on down and away sliders. ugggggly.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:23 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

And Frank strikes out...

Time to retire, old friend.

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 11:23 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

wouldn't be a wise business move for frank.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:25 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

10 more years, and we'll take him back on the Sox!

...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.

by homesickalien on Aug 29, 2008 8:57 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

devine gets kubel on 1st pitch. love it.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:25 PM CDT   0 recs

a's have 2 relievers with 30+ innings and < 1.00 era.

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on Aug 28, 2008 11:26 PM CDT   0 recs

The Kotsay trade was ridiculous.

"god, you’re fucking stupid."
-- Larry

by SSH2005 on Aug 28, 2008 11:27 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

so was the walk just now to delmon young. how you walk that guy?!?

"you're pathetic and you're weak. you're a fake and you lie. i'd like to crush you like an insect but i don't want to do the time."

by Toonderstrook on