You might possibly be forced to need it. But I doubt it.

To start things out, I'm a Twins fan. If there are any bashings or "screw you!'s" after I'm done, well...

Your ChiSox better watch themselves tomorrow. This Twins team is one of, if not the best in the history of mankind. Don't believe me? Let's just take a look at some examples:

The Twins have one of the best starting rotations ever. Livan Hernandez was stellar before he died somewhere in Colorado. Despite the tragic death, Hernandez was an opposing figure on the mound. His 5.48 ERA, 1.632 WHIP, and 199 hits allowed were among the top in the league.

Need I even mention Boof Bonser? Obviously one of the best relievers in the game, he is so unselfish he has limited himself to only two holds and no saves the entire year. He even went so far as to blow two saves so Nathan could have a chance at one later on. What a nice guy. His 5.93 ERA ranks as third best in the league. Just look at him:

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What do you think of when you see that picture? You may see a porn star, barber, or popcorn vendor, but I see...well, nevermind.

And there is also Dennys Reyes. When he is not in a heated debate with the United States over the wacky spelling of his first name, or in a weight-loss program, Reyes is a ____ reliever for the Minnesota Twins.

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Yeah...

But the Twins don't just boast excellent pitching. Sweet baby-robbing-penny-pinchers, no. In fact, these two excellent hitters are stealing a combined $5 million from the 122-year old Carl Pohlad; the allegedly gay 121-year old and owner of hip-hop radio stations who also happens to own the Minnesota Twins. Little Nicky Punto and Adam Everett. I don't think any more needs be said than this picture. Would you pay nearly $3 million for this face?

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We also have strength and extreme power in Carlos Gomez. Seriously, he is one of the strongest people in the world, and has the English skills of a 4-year old to boot. Here is a picture of the 22-year old body-builder:

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All-in-all, these guys are a force to be reckoned with. You better bring your rally hats and voodoo dolls to the game on Tuesday, providing you are man enough to even show up.

(PS - Does your team suck as much as ours?)