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Good Luck, Sox Fans

You might possibly be forced to need it. But I doubt it.

Star-divide

To start things out, I'm a Twins fan. If there are any bashings or "screw you!'s" after I'm done, well...

 

Your ChiSox better watch themselves tomorrow. This Twins team is one of, if not the best in the history of mankind. Don't believe me? Let's just take a look at some examples:

The Twins have one of the best starting rotations ever. Livan Hernandez was stellar before he died somewhere in Colorado. Despite the tragic death, Hernandez was an opposing figure on the mound. His 5.48 ERA, 1.632 WHIP, and 199 hits allowed were among the top in the league.

Need I even mention Boof Bonser? Obviously one of the best relievers in the game, he is so unselfish he has limited himself to only two holds and no saves the entire year. He even went so far as to blow two saves so Nathan could have a chance at one later on. What a nice guy. His 5.93 ERA ranks as third best in the league. Just look at him:

7766_medium

via assets.espn.go.com

What do you think of when you see that picture? You may see a porn star, barber, or popcorn vendor, but I see...well, nevermind.

And there is also Dennys Reyes. When he is not in a heated debate with the United States over the wacky spelling of his first name, or in a weight-loss program, Reyes is a ____ reliever for the Minnesota Twins.

5847_medium

via assets.espn.go.com

Yeah...

But the Twins don't just boast excellent pitching. Sweet baby-robbing-penny-pinchers, no. In fact, these two excellent hitters are stealing a combined $5 million from the 122-year old Carl Pohlad; the allegedly gay 121-year old and owner of hip-hop radio stations who also happens to own the Minnesota Twins. Little Nicky Punto and Adam Everett. I don't think any more needs be said than this picture. Would you pay nearly $3 million for this face?

6389_medium

via assets.espn.go.com

We also have strength and extreme power in Carlos Gomez. Seriously, he is one of the strongest people in the world, and has the English skills of a 4-year old to boot. Here is a picture of the 22-year old body-builder:

8023_medium

via assets.espn.go.com

 

All-in-all, these guys are a force to be reckoned with. You better bring your rally hats and voodoo dolls to the game on Tuesday, providing you are man enough to even show up.

 

(PS - Does your team suck as much as ours?)

 

SouthSideSox is a community driven site. As such, users are able to express their thoughts and opinions in a FanPost, such as this one, which represents the views of this particular fan, but not necessarily the entire community or SouthSideSox editors.

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probably

I mean, really, Horacio Ramirez?

Go Sox and all, but this September has been like watching the cripple fight from South Park on loop.

I mean, SCREW YOU!

by daggins on Sep 29, 2008 10:14 PM CDT   0 recs

LMAO

I guess Twins fans aren’t terrible people after all

"We're the bitch of Chicago, we're the Chicago bitch."

by rangerjae on Sep 30, 2008 7:26 AM CDT   0 recs

don't kid yourself

they suck

I wish he was in my fantasy league. id bury that cocksucker- KenWo4Life

by Hawk is God on Sep 30, 2008 4:41 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

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