But Who Will Sign the Parker Bros.?

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After a sleepy two weeks over the holidays, baseball kicked back into off-season action Monday.

  • Milton Bradley will reportedly sign with the Cubs despite the fact that they still reside in the National League.

    I really wanted to include the Choi Hoon cartoon which featured Angry Milton waving the bucket of balls over his head in every cell, but I couldn't find it. A half-hour of internet searching yields results. Hoon's cartoons can be found here.

  • Unlike the perpetually angry and injured Bradley, Pat Burrell will switch leagues to take on a DH role with the Rays. The two contracts combine for a total of 5/$46M (about $9M per annum), compared to the $11.5M Jermaine Dye is owed this season. Burrell and Bradley share a similar skill set with JD, the offensive minded (if a bit more OBP-driven) corner outfielder who would be better off at DH for one reason or another. It doesn't take much insight to figure out why the Sox were unable to unload Jermaine Dye for any value.
  • Kenny Williams, "through a spokesman," officially shot down the seemingly ludicrous Floyd-for-Roberts rumor.
  • Scott Gregor pisses on the Jon Garland To Return campfire.

    You can pretty much forget about another free agent, Jon Garland, as long as Ozzie’s in the dugout. They never got along before Garland was traded to the Angels last off-season, so that bridge has been torched.

    But he does find time to bring up the names Freddy Garcia (maybe, because I think he'll be really cheap), Carl Pavano (No), and Paul Byrd (Yes, but that's only because [Starter Candidate 5] throws about as well as Terrelle Pryor) as possible bargain free agents for the not-quite-ready-for-prime-time Sox rotation.
  • One name that I would rather bring in ahead of all of those options, Pedro Martinez, is the subject of some dubiously unsubstantiated rumors regarding the Sox, which I point to only because it's about time we had a rumor on the front page that I like. In reality, Pedro is contemplating offers from 4 teams, two in each league.
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