One Mistress Is For Rookies

Tiger has taken man-whoreyness to a whole new level.

Try to digest his actions. Try. It’s almost impossible.

He’s created a real-life slutty advent-calendar.

Every day, a new Tiger mistress reveals herself. Every day. What? There’s like 16? And it’s December 16.

See a pattern?

On Christmas Day, he’ll reveal that he has banged the entire nation-state of Tuvalu.

It’s entirely possible. It’s entirely possible to think Tiger can bang the entire nation-state of Tuvalu.

I just like saying ‘nation-state’.

And Tuvalu.

Makes me feel smart.

We can’t let the Tiger scandal pass without harvesting some lessons. I’ve learned the following five things.

about 2 years ago homesickalien 40 comments 0 recs |

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Comments

Is Tuvalu that thing/service that allows you to record/watch NBC TV shows?

"his ballerness could not be stoped which rose his era to 5.42 "

by Chiburb on Dec 16, 2009 12:40 PM CST reply actions

it's a country that is expected to be washed out due to climate related changes in sea level rise

wrapped and sealed with masking tape moistened with sweat experience existence of ignorance

by onlysoxfaninboston on Dec 16, 2009 1:03 PM CST up reply actions

Bout time.. I've had it up to here with the Tuvalunese

by Grinder in Training on Dec 16, 2009 2:15 PM CST up reply actions

i believe a lot of rednecks in this country share the same sentiment

wrapped and sealed with masking tape moistened with sweat experience existence of ignorance

by onlysoxfaninboston on Dec 16, 2009 2:28 PM CST up reply actions

which is?

"his ballerness could not be stoped which rose his era to 5.42 "

by Chiburb on Dec 16, 2009 1:53 PM CST up reply actions

there was a time when bitches knew not to come forward as a mistress just because some other bitch did.

and that was a golden age in extra-marital affairs. i blame the women.

Cashing checks and having sex.

by MarketMaker on Dec 16, 2009 2:05 PM CST reply actions 3 recs

Jordan was just a lot at better at paying women off.

I blame that cheap skate.. 5k a month for some of these girls?

Come on Tiger, you had to know that wasn’t going to get the job done.

by Grinder in Training on Dec 16, 2009 2:17 PM CST up reply actions

rec'd

wrapped and sealed with masking tape moistened with sweat experience existence of ignorance

by onlysoxfaninboston on Dec 16, 2009 2:30 PM CST up reply actions

You'll find that I have expressed similar feelings over this.

Cumdumpsters are fine by me. It’s the ones who feel the need to publicize their affairs that bother me. As though these men’s families don’t have enough shit to deal with…. then they are run through the media anal raping, led by some whore who produces "proof" of it to a national audience. It’s fucking pathetic. I hate these women.
Keep your personal shit behind closed doors.
Oh, and here’s an idea – don’t sleep with married men!!!! How novel!

Not picky, but very sticky….
by homesickalien on Dec 3, 2009 3:32 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

"I am not your lady! I am not any kind of a lady!!" - Aldonza

by homesickalien on Dec 16, 2009 2:43 PM CST up reply actions

although you did in more or less words (who am i kidding, more!), it just sounds better when a man says it.

wrapped and sealed with masking tape moistened with sweat experience existence of ignorance

by onlysoxfaninboston on Dec 16, 2009 2:52 PM CST up reply actions

I blame you. Since you tied on the ball and chain, the broads don't know how to behave any more.

Who’s gonna teach them anything now? larry?

"his ballerness could not be stoped which rose his era to 5.42 "

by Chiburb on Dec 16, 2009 2:45 PM CST up reply actions

i'm still living, pops. carrying the torch for those who used to, too. (wink, wink)

but no sox games means my down time goes to more pressing issues.

is there no offseason? if this relationship is gonna work i’m gonna need my space.

i’m out there doing god’s work.

Cashing checks and having sex.

by MarketMaker on Dec 16, 2009 7:13 PM CST up reply actions

He screwed one that isn't going to stay quiet much longer.

The IRS. His problems haven’t even started yet.

by mick10 on Dec 16, 2009 2:26 PM CST reply actions

There's a Canadian doctor he might've given more $$ to also...

"his ballerness could not be stoped which rose his era to 5.42 "

by Chiburb on Dec 16, 2009 2:46 PM CST up reply actions

Sigh, Jordan did it with so much more class (as classy as lying, cheating, and being an all around asshole can be)

The 2009 White Sox....like a 40 degree day.

by Ozzie Montana on Dec 16, 2009 4:05 PM CST reply actions

god damn technology for humanizing the people that we've turned into gods!

Cashing checks and having sex.

by MarketMaker on Dec 16, 2009 7:15 PM CST up reply actions

Bill Simmons (Sports Guy, espn) has the definitive take on Tiger-Gate.

I know, I know, but it’s excellent.

"don tink about new jork. jus come in ready to wing de gay."

by winningugly on Dec 16, 2009 4:51 PM CST reply actions

do you have a fucking link to back that up, OPOS?

FUCK EVYTHING BACON RULZ WEER GONNA WIN TEH CHAMPSHIOP
...colintj, Nov8, 2009

by rhythm on Dec 16, 2009 5:57 PM CST up reply actions

Not at work.

CHINA doesn’t allow ESPN access. I’ll send it later.

"don tink about new jork. jus come in ready to wing de gay."

by winningugly on Dec 16, 2009 6:04 PM CST up reply actions

i'm still shocked a maus-haus site is blocked at your work.

These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.

by thatshortkid on Dec 16, 2009 6:16 PM CST up reply actions

to be websensed at your age is sad, wu. fall in line, soldier.

Cashing checks and having sex.

by MarketMaker on Dec 16, 2009 7:16 PM CST up reply actions

Here you go.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/091211

"don tink about new jork. jus come in ready to wing de gay."

by winningugly on Dec 16, 2009 8:10 PM CST up reply actions

i think he should just go play and win

people will forget. big deal he banged a lot of broads. big surprise. i don’t get it.

Kenwo4life=ratings

by KenWo4LiFe on Dec 16, 2009 4:55 PM CST reply actions

You are a moron.

You cannot believe how ridiculously devastated people here are – women, especially, are highly PO’ed.

"don tink about new jork. jus come in ready to wing de gay."

by winningugly on Dec 16, 2009 6:05 PM CST up reply actions

Then they had it coming… Any person who thought that an insanely rich attractive charming guy travelling all over creation every weekend was not dipping his wick in the local talent pool was sadly deluding themselves. If a woman is PO’d, then it is because they were foolish enough to buy the processed, controlled and well managed image, and not the flesh and blood real guy with hormones and a capacity for bad decision-making.

There's Your Zagnut!!!

by DrEmilioLizardo on Dec 16, 2009 6:23 PM CST up reply actions