Merry Christmas, Guys! It's Your Old Pal, OC.

by larry on Dec 25, 2009 5:00 AM CST in Satire

Hello from sunny Colombia! I haven't spoke to you guys in a while so I wanted to check in, see how everyone is doing and wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I'm doing okay. This offseason is looking a lot like last offseason - I just hope I know where I'll be playing before Spring Training! How about those Yankees acquiring that douche Javy? Ha, ha - boy, that guy was a jagoff, huh, guys.

Listen, the reason I'm calling is because I could use some references. I know you guys rolled over last time I asked you to do something for me but I thought maybe you'd be willing to do this. Maybe if somebody calls instead of saying I'm a complete dick you could just pretend you don't know who I am? I'd really like to get a job so my wife would quit riding my ass. After that whole "Mrs. Cowley" thing, she thinks she can just walk all over me.

At any rate, good luck with the rest of your offseason. Talk to you later - and say hi to Mrs. Cowley for me!

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Happy Holidays SSS.

"Oh well back to work"

by Tdogg on Dec 25, 2009 10:01 AM CST reply actions 1 recs

I have two words for you, OC:

Newark. Bears. Merry Christmas!

Chicago White Sox Examiner — I wish I could cuss right now.

by UribeAuction on Dec 25, 2009 10:24 AM CST reply actions 1 recs

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's everyone! Won't be checking in much this week, so I'll see y'all in 2010!

I’m presently hijacking Chiburb’s mac to log in and write this.
How cool is THAT!? I’m at my dad’s!!
:)
Love you all….or at least most of you! heh

I am not your lady... I am not any kind of a lady! ~ Aldonza

by homesickalien on Dec 25, 2009 2:05 PM CST reply actions

Guarantee you that Cabrera is on the phone bitching about this post...

Merry Christmas my fellow Sox fans.

"I can't give you a dollar if I don't have fifty cents." - Kenny Williams

by Servant2LordBeckham on Dec 25, 2009 2:20 PM CST reply actions

by billyok on Dec 25, 2009 9:45 PM CST via mobile reply actions

honey have you seen my rifle?

the last time i saw it the dog was playing with it.

2009 is just 2007 in 2008's clothing. - Trooper

by colintj on Dec 25, 2009 9:48 PM CST up reply actions

holidays peoples

who’s the douche on the right?

wrapped and sealed with masking tape moistened with sweat experience existence of ignorance

by onlysoxfaninboston on Dec 26, 2009 7:21 AM CST reply actions

that's David Simon

2009 is just 2007 in 2008's clothing. - Trooper

by colintj on Dec 26, 2009 1:26 PM CST up reply actions

haha

i’ve seen david simon speak, and that’s not david simon!

wrapped and sealed with masking tape moistened with sweat experience existence of ignorance

by onlysoxfaninboston on Dec 26, 2009 3:18 PM CST up reply actions

I'll have to fanpost bout it, but I just had a lov-e-ly breakfast with thatshortkid.

West Coast representin’ in Chicago!

I am not your lady... I am not any kind of a lady! ~ Aldonza

by homesickalien on Dec 26, 2009 12:22 PM CST via mobile reply actions

by DrEmilioLizardo on Dec 26, 2009 8:25 PM CST up reply actions

i think we should sign OC

move gordo back to third and bench teahen. :)

Kenwo4life=ratings

by KenWo4LiFe on Dec 26, 2009 11:15 PM CST reply actions

Is Mike Hunt here? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?

by Trooper on Dec 27, 2009 5:00 AM CST reply actions

I hope Santa got you guys/gal everything you asked for

except for you larry, we all know you have been on Santa’s naughty list annually since 1981.

"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."

by BobbySouthSide on Dec 27, 2009 8:03 AM CST reply actions

In light of the recent Tiger Woods and Urban Meyer announcements

I, like everyone else in the state of Florida, am taking an indefinite leave of absence to spend more time with my family and revive my flagging health.

"don tink about new jork. jus come in ready to wing de gay."

by winningugly on Dec 27, 2009 3:55 PM CST reply actions 1 recs