So...When Omar Vizquel Calls Me, What Should I Ask?

Any talk of him helping him in the offseason work on the transition? Or how does he think Beckham will do there, has he watched him play much?

That’s how these things are supposed to go, evidently.

More important:

Has he recorded any songs besides “Broadway”? Snip and link:

There is one exception, however, in the form of Omar Vizquel singing the Goo Goo Dolls "Broadway." Anyway, the performance is about what you’d expect from a major league athlete with limited musical traning, and for whom English is a second language. He kind of sounds like Triumph the Insult Comic auditioning for a boy band. Which the Goo Goo Dolls kind of are. Which, I suppose begs some questions about Omar Vizquel.

http://www.bugsandcranks.com/the-clubhouse/baseball/omar-vizquel-proves-its-possible-to-make-the-goo-goo-dolls-sound-worse/

Is it a bigger adjustment for him to play 2b or 3b?

CLEVELAND, Sept. 25 /PRNewswire/ — 100,000 jars of Omar Vizquel Salsa — that’s enough to give two jars to every fan during a sold-out game at Jacobs Field, with some left over for the umps!

And that specially marked 100,000th jar, sold Sunday, September 20 at the Rini Rego Store on 4700 Great Northern Blvd. in North Olmsted, was certainly a lucky one.

Bay Village natives Paul Denis, a professor at the Cleveland Institute of Art and his wife Kathy, a licensed art therapist bought the 100,000th jar, becoming the lucky recipients of a baseball bat autographed by Omar, a year’s supply of Omar Vizquel Salsa and tickets to select 1999 Cleveland Indians …

President Barack Obama, in U.S. Senate with Jim Bunning (’04-08)
Jim Bunning, teammate of Oscar Gamble (PHI, ’70-71)
Oscar Gamble, teammate of Harold Baines (CHW, ’85)
Harold Baines, teammate of Omar Vizquel (CLE, ’99)

http://slanchreport.com/2009/03/10/omar-picasso-vizquel-throws-down-some-paint/

"Rangers infielder Omar Vizquel has three pet kangaroos at his home in Seattle."

The marsupials don’t spend all their time at his home, he apparently brought them to the clubhouse last week.

http://slanchreport.com/2009/07/21/omar-vizquel-kind-of-a-weird-dude/

What does he think about Chavez nationalizing the banks? Does he have relatives in Venezuela? Does he worry about kidnapping?

Does his wife get any of Chief Seattle’s licensing dollars (for use of the name)?

Who does he think the best SS is of all time? Who is the best SS from Venezuela?

Who is his favorite teammate? What team was the best that he’s ever played on?

How important is “chemistry”, and will he be able to be a positive force in the clubhouse (unlike a certain SS that played for us in 2008)?

That’s it. I have a lot more, but I don’t want to overshadow the obviously important ones like “say FNS” and his kangaroos.

Is he going to coach defense and bunting?, teach Alice.A english?
Does he have to do anything with Beckhams D? Is he going to do anything?
Is he comfortable playing 3rd reguarly when (or if) it is clear that Teahen is not an everyday starter?
Where does he see himself after this season?
Any ideas how to alleviate Alice.A’s annual spring ice coldness with the bat?
Can Alice A improve his defense? Are the improvements made from last year sustainable?

perhaps an example while at the plate and one while in the field?

Or just ask him if he’s been to Japan and engaged in bukkake, up to you I suppose.

you should definitely ask him to give you shit about cowley over the course of the season.

and i second WU’s interest in Omar’s Venezuela thoughts.

I say 69.

Actually, just ask him for the Spanish translation of “shortstopping.” If he seems confused, use it in a sentence: I was going to go camping, but I got sidetracked and I did some fuckin’ shortstopping, in lieu of camping.

Wait… I thought of another awesome one… Ask him if he’d kiss Steve Phillips’ girlfriend with Ozzie’s mouth.

to use him as a DH and bat him leadoff.