Community Project: New Member/Vistors "Cheat" Sheet
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 8:45 AM CST
274 comments
In response to a recent suggestion, perhaps we can use this thread to catalogue the origins of certain phrases or references that often have newbies/visitors scratching their heads. For example, at every reference to "Liz" someone will ask "who's Liz", and with good reason: how could anybody be expected to remember a late-season game in that suckitude known as 2007? By then, any normal person would've had something better to do on a Friday night instead of hanging out here!
So anyway, I'm thinking that if we each took one or two of these "inside" thingies, posted it/them as a comment, the burden could be shared easily (instead of dumping it on U-God). I'm also thinking that "comments" in reply to these comments should be reserved for corrections/additions to that topic. In other words, let's not get lardy with "oh I remember that" or "that was a good one".
I'll start with Liz:
SouthSideSox is a community driven site. As such, users are able to express their thoughts and opinions in a FanPost, such as this one, which represents the views of this particular fan, but not necessarily the entire community or SouthSideSox editors.
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"Liz"
Liz is a woman who had the good fortune to receive a marriage proposal at The Cell in early September, 2007. We know this because they showed the proposal on the Jumbotron and our televisions. Liz also had the misfortune of being live-blogged and ridiculed by thre fine folks here at SSS. The fat jokes were fast and furious, and even larry, who went on to become a fat-joke-free site advocate, participated with glee.
Since then, “Liz” has come to signify cake eating, lardiness, obesity, etc. It all started here:
http://www.southsidesox.com/story/2007/9/7/185521/0796
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 8:51 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
southsidesox.com - now the best place on the interwebs for chicago white sox analysis and discussion.
by larry on Feb 27, 2009 9:04 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
fial on ie7.0
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 9:10 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Using "clearly."
If you are new and haven’t lurked prior to jumping into the conversation, you’ll probably miss a lot of sarcasm for the fact that you don’t know people’s personalities.
If someone uses the word “clearly,” it signifies that they are most likely being facetious.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:18 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
The Legend of SSH2005
SSH is commonly referenced around here. He is a former SSS’er, who was banished from the site during Game 3 of the Twinkiedome series, in which the Sox were swept and lost control of the division in 2008.
He was notorious for his negativity. Even his pro-Sox comments were somehow negative. So when the collective site was heads-in-hands weeping at the sight of the Twins sweep and the demise of the Sox’ season, SSH made the comment that sealed his fate.
His removal from the site was the dawn of a new era.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:24 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Chiburb and HSA are father/daughter.
HSA is a port slut – she’s a slut, and lives in a port city.
Pierzynskirules ("PR") was famous for her monosyllabic responses (“why”, “oh”, “huh”, etc.).
I believe I’ve covered all the women on the site (except Tdogg, who larry is investigating).
Jim at Soxmachine.com has a fine blog with 3 viewers/day. We kid.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 27, 2009 9:25 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Sheesh. Can we clarify that I am not ACTUALLY a port slut? That is a joke, begun by larry.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:27 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
That is your first denial ever. I won't cloak it.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 27, 2009 9:28 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
exactly. none of us know for sure.
she could be banging sailors by the dozens. her denials are self-serving.
southsidesox.com - now the best place on the interwebs for chicago white sox analysis and discussion.
by larry on Feb 27, 2009 9:33 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Let us also add that I have balls and am about 300 lbs and fugly.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:38 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
only the latter two are true.
southsidesox.com - now the best place on the interwebs for chicago white sox analysis and discussion.
by larry on Feb 27, 2009 9:42 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
You whore yourself out on Facebook pretty nicely
Confusion breeds success. If they don't know each other, opponents can't have strategy. GENIUS.
by Ozzie Montana on Feb 27, 2009 3:08 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
haha. Yep, all 5 of you on there....I get around!
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 3:11 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Might I add that I began the war on PR
and I regret nothing.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Feb 27, 2009 10:47 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
you suck
i dislike men, you don't know what the hell you want out of life.
by pierzynskirules on Feb 28, 2009 5:40 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Too many words in your response, PR.
I would like to know the origination of “I like pie”.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 28, 2009 6:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
obviously there was some pent up opinion in there
first comment of the season a little extra is gonna spill out.
by Trooper on Feb 28, 2009 6:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
you're right it is
you want a war, you got it
i dislike men, you don't know what the hell you want out of life.
by pierzynskirules on Feb 28, 2009 6:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
southsidesox.com - now the best place on the interwebs for chicago white sox analysis and discussion.
by larry on Feb 28, 2009 7:24 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Its on!
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 1, 2009 12:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
let's get it crackin' then
i dislike men, you don't know what the hell you want out of life.
by pierzynskirules on Mar 2, 2009 12:49 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Aint worth my time tuts.
And thats pretty sad cause my time is very much worthless.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 2, 2009 7:47 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
that's a shame
i pretty much looked forward to it. next time choose your words wisely
i dislike men, you don't know what the hell you want out of life.
by pierzynskirules on Mar 2, 2009 8:12 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I was just quoting the South Park episode genius.
At least now you trying to use more syllables for once.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 2, 2009 8:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i don't watch that ya idiot
i got things to do and that ain’t it
i dislike men, you don't know what the hell you want out of life.
by pierzynskirules on Mar 3, 2009 4:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i'm diggin this new long-windedness
also, why aren’t you kicking some ass in the ‘aj sucks’ thread?
by Trooper on Mar 3, 2009 7:53 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
later,
OG ticked me off, this person never knows when to shut up
i dislike men, you don't know what the hell you want out of life.
by pierzynskirules on Mar 3, 2009 9:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
damn, OG
you just got served
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 3, 2009 6:17 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
somebody learned how to resize images.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Mar 4, 2009 12:33 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
looks like an old western
skinny-vision reformatting
Gordon Beckham 1.405 OPS so far this spring
by e-gus on Mar 4, 2009 11:25 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
going with percentages rather than pixel sizes takes care of that
height=50% width=50% or some such and so on
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 4, 2009 12:01 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i thought you knew
wu, you said it
i dislike men, you don't know what the hell you want out of life.
by pierzynskirules on Feb 28, 2009 6:37 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Wasn't pie the object of desire for Palehose 6?
Lurking since 2006
by boyonthedock on Feb 28, 2009 7:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
PH7
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 1, 2009 1:20 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Another fine SSS tradition
Is to respond with a one-line “FAIL” response to broken image links. “Fial” is also acceptable.
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 2, 2009 1:38 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
blast! it was there over the weekend....
i linked directly to carl’s image. damn you blogspot!
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 2, 2009 12:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Nice.
Video games, eh? No wonder ERTS and Midway are getting torched.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 2, 2009 2:22 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
that's vince
and they say the memory is one of the first things to go…..
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 2, 2009 3:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
why
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 2, 2009 4:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
it returns!
must have refilled on pie
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 2, 2009 8:55 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I still can't see it on Explorer.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 3, 2009 9:57 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Thank you Chi
I was actually going to attempt this today.
Winningugly and Chiburb happen to be older than most of the posters on here. This leads to many jokes about them remembering such events as the birth of the automobile. We also refer to them as OPOS (old piece of sh*t) and WU tends to refer back with POS (you’re bright enough).
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:40 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Stuff like this
will show up during the second and third gamethread if we are winning
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:41 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
To add to this:
Carl Weathers is our hero and our rally man.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:46 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
technically isn't he our anti-rally man?
we bust him out to “weather” the storm (i looked up his first appearance here).
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:48 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Yes, but we use him in the rally threads, so he's pretty much the equivalent to turning your hat inside out.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:50 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
false. weathers keeps a lead
rally cars / political rallys / clever image puns involving the word “rally” are for threads where the team’s behind
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Feb 27, 2009 1:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
hmmm....I only remember equating him with GT#3....which I associate with rallies, but if you remember this to be the rule of Weathers, then so be it....
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 1:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
larry
will make you cry.
you better know what you’re talking about if you decide to respond to him. if you’re new, its probably better to just never argue with him.
by Trooper on Feb 27, 2009 9:44 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
CHESSFU / JAMMER
Every so often, an over-zealous poster creates an account and “writes” (loose term) Fanshots that show a complete lack of regard for spelling, punctuation, flow of thought, or the fact that the topic of these Fanposts has already been beaten to death in other threads.
Both these names are easily searchable, if you’d like to see some of their work.
PS – There is a lesson to be learned from these fallen SSS’ers: Don’t Fanshot unless you have something to say, and know how to articulate to an audience of readers.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:45 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
colintj
One of our esteemed editors sleeps til around noonish, kidnapped Chris Getz, and gets hammered during gamethreads to the delight of some and terror of others.
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:45 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
OK, so the point is not just to throw out every inside joke you can think of, but to actually explain it... :)
Re: Chris Getz being kidnapped.
Colin attends school in Michigan.
Chris Getz hangs out in MI in the off-season.
Colin, an aspiring sportswriter, arranged an interview with Getz. It occurred. The SSS community was drooling for the recap.
Months of antagonizing him went by, before Colin informed us that the tape he used was a piece of shit, and since he didn’t take notes or transcribe the interview right away like a good little reporter would have, the interview was lost.
SSS is disappointed in Colin.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 10:02 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i'm just getting the ball rolling
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 10:02 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I know, and then I'm scooping it up and elaborating (because, hey, here's another one - BREVITY AIN'T MY THING - partially because I like details and I'm a writer. Partially because I like to piss off larry).
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 10:04 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I am enjoying this thread way too much
As I’m sure you guys can tell, I have been ruminating on this in an attempt to get this thing going.
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 10:05 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
*Chris Getz attends the same school in Michigan
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Feb 28, 2009 11:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
colin is also a gay guy, though i assume that's pretty evident upon any interaction with him. he loves the cock.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Feb 28, 2009 4:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Don't forget fists.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 28, 2009 5:51 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and bourbon
but that’s just a part of the equation
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on Feb 28, 2009 11:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
clearly.
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Feb 28, 2009 11:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
have we even explained "clearly" yet? this is a shitty post.
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Feb 28, 2009 11:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I believe its been covered
and YOU’RE a shitty post!!!
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on Mar 1, 2009 1:34 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Gavin Floyd
has big hairy balls, often abbreviated to “BHB”.
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:46 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Grown right before our eyes against a game at Yankee Stadium last September (?) when he struck out Giambi in about 12 pitches. An AMAZING at-bat.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:48 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Jim Thome
actually talks like he does in the Dugout strips
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:47 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
And he is known to bumble his way around the keyboard, with his big cumbersome fingers, often not finishing words.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:52 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
JI
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Feb 27, 2009 11:04 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Carlos Quentin
or Q!, Q!perman, Q!nicorn, or pretty much anything else is deified around here. Inserting Q! into someone’s name (Q!ribe for example) is pretty much the highest praise you can give a player and usually comes when then do something amazing.
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:50 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Darrin Jackson is a stoner
This started back when DJ returned from his surgery this summer. He seemed really out of it in the booth and made some strange comments, most likely as a result of the drugs. So we pick on the poor guy and thecip turned it into an amazing gif that we had to take down to save bandwidth.
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:52 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Correction: I do not think this started with his surgery. He's always been a stoner, as far as I remember....he just had a prescription after the surgery.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 9:53 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm going to let someone who was here that day take "BILL OF LADING"
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 9:52 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
and the "Death Of Logic".
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 9:54 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
hell, I'll do them anyways
Where Triples Go To Die (also known as WTGTD or SoB) is a semi-frequent poster around here as of late. He used to (and occasionally still does) type in all caps. When asked why, here is the response he gave. This has led to people busting out “BILL OF LADING” around here.
Shortly after that, he proceeded to kill logic.
He also doesn’t care much for me, so I expect me posting on these things to piss him off.
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 10:00 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I intentionally did not cover WTGTD's thing for the fact that he also seems to hate me, which I have finally accepted and learned to live with, after months of denial and tears.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 10:03 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I think he also hates anyone who uses logic againts him in general.
I know he hates me for my numerous arguments with him on why Jesse is not HIGH RISK/HIGH REWARD.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Feb 27, 2009 11:07 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
SoB was my handle for Soulja Boy (aka WTGTD),
who IIRC was banned under the Soulja Boy moniker and continues to walk that fine line each and every day as WTGTD.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 27, 2009 11:15 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
wasn't there a SoleBro who also got banned?
I thought that’s where SoB came from.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 11:19 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
SoleBro was long before SoB
and I’m pretty sure that they’re different people, although I can’t explain why I think their posting styles are different – they just are.
You are right. But larry is actually a prick too.
- HSA 01/07/09
by rhythm on Mar 3, 2009 10:54 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
false I was not banned
when the site changed soulja boy didn’t work anymore. BTW, one of you douche bags changed my original handle on here.
He also doesn’t care much for me, so I expect me posting on these things to piss him off.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 10:00 AM CST
by Where Triples Go to Die on Mar 18, 2009 5:53 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Quick run down of player nicknames
And everyone else please keep adding or throw in explanations for ones I forgot/don’t know.
Paul Konerko- Kong, Eeyore (for his demeanor), the Captain
Jim Thome- The Gentleman Masher (and when he hits one out, THE DAMAGE IS QUITE SEVERE)
Alexei Ramirez- The Cuban Missle, Che, Chelexei, and of course Slash (WU’s horrible attempt at a nickname)
Jose Contreras- The Count (I assume because he is a vampire of sorts)
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 10:09 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Additional nickname
Kornerko – started with this fanpost where the poster consistently misspelled Paul Konerko’s last name and was used mockingly thereafter in many comments.
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Feb 27, 2009 2:47 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
and if ever a poster had a perfect name it was him. from the same post:
I always here that Thome gets too much money for him to be benched. This makes no sense. We have to pay him no matter how well he plays or even if he plays. So if our team is better without him than his salary is no reason not to bench him or even release him.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 2:53 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
for thome's home run call
its usually “I’M AFRAID THE DAMAGE IS QUITE SEVERE”
Lurking since 2006
by boyonthedock on Feb 28, 2009 4:11 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Pretty sure...
Contreras is the Count because of the similarity in the spelling of the words.
Just saying.
"God knows I gave my best in baseball at all times and no man on earth can truthfully judge me otherwise."
by Shoeless In SC on Mar 1, 2009 10:17 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
But vampire works too.
"God knows I gave my best in baseball at all times and no man on earth can truthfully judge me otherwise."
by Shoeless In SC on Mar 1, 2009 10:17 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
It was a play off El Duque, too.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Mar 1, 2009 10:33 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Alexei - Sexi Lexi
Also, Brian Anderson is a sex-maniac. He gets all the hunnies.
my president is white.
by JoeCoolMan24 on Mar 1, 2009 11:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Former player nicknames
Orlando Cabrera- OrCa, OCab
Juan Uribe- Fatty #1, Profundo! (spanglish for going yard)
Toby Hall- Fatty #2
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 10:11 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
ya know, you're kind of missing the point here (imho).
Uribe for example:
“Torpedo Boat”, then explain how that came to be.
Though your enthusiasm is commendable.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 10:13 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i asked in the first part of these for others to step in and explain the ones i can't
i didn’t become a part of this site til like late june
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 10:23 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
oops, that was meant to reply to nordhagen below
by Ryno on Feb 27, 2009 11:03 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ah, tremendous
I never saw that. Definitely helps add to this wiki…
I'm like a laser, six-string razor. I've got a mouth like an alligator
by Nordhagen on Feb 27, 2009 11:06 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
torpedo boat i believe was google translate goodness
when the only news outlets were all in spansih during the uribe shooting fiasco
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Feb 27, 2009 2:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I concur.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 27, 2009 2:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Rowand - The Legend
I showed up in mid-2006, and I had to piece this one together (for lack of a posterity thread like this one). Correct me if I’m wrong on this, but Rowand’s play and departure was talked about so wistfully that it outgrew his actual value to the point of becoming a tall tale. This was accompanied by the parlor game of “Drink!” when his name was mentioned.
This “legending” phenomenon of mocking the overstating of a player’s true impact/noteworthiness was also seen with Ozuna, Podsednik, and Timo, and continues today with Owens (although management is rightly trying to put a cap on that).
I'm like a laser, six-string razor. I've got a mouth like an alligator
by Nordhagen on Feb 27, 2009 10:56 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
more nicknames
Nessie = Adam Russell. I believe it started in this thread: http://www.southsidesox.com/2008/6/17/553856/game-71-gamethread-2.
vince_ referred to Russell as Bigfoot because he’s big, tall, and never seen (at that point he’d been on the team for a while but hadn’t seen any action even in blowout games). Once Russell appeared in that game, vince_ proclaimed that bigfoot exists, colintj exclaimed “Nessy!” (later corrected to Nessie), and the whole thing took off.
Easy Heat = Matt Thornton. Although the phrase was used twice before, once in reference to Gavin Floyd and once for Nick Masset(!), Thorndog became Easy Heat here, http://www.southsidesox.com/2008/7/6/565784/game-89-gamethread-2, once again thanks to colintj. Also sometimes “East Heat” thanks to a monkeyfingered Sox Machine.
by Ryno on Feb 27, 2009 10:55 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
how the hell did i forget easy heat
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 11:07 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i like east heat better.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Feb 28, 2009 4:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
"General Soreness"
Was first seen in a one-line blurb in a recap on MLB on August 8 2008:
White Sox OF Ken Griffey Jr. sat out Saturday’s game with general soreness.
3 days later, larry posted the lineups under the subject:
general soreness returns! (note to newbies: larry is the anti-cap)
Colin was the first to recognize the brilliance and to capitalize it for posterity. Probably the best nickname ever bestowed on SSS (though I was partial to Ancient Mariner).
http://www.southsidesox.com/2008/8/11/591259/sox-trade-for-aaa-franklyn#8033820
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 11:14 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Also led to this classic AEG moment...at which I still laugh out loud:
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 11:54 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
An age-old conundrum
Can the first documented reference be on a site that doesn’t exist?
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Feb 27, 2009 11:55 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Give credit where it's due! Jim, I assume you are responsible for quite a bit of the humor on this site.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 11:58 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Doesn't count because even if your blog existed
nobody would read it at 2:00 in the morning.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 12:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Besides, I googled Sox Machine and the only retuns were these:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=sex+machine&aq=f&oq=
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 12:11 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
larry can't clarify on this?
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Feb 27, 2009 8:25 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Btw: what's with those shipping charges?!?
Holy crap… before I knew it I was paying 30 something $$ for a book that doesn’t EVEN GET PRINTED UNTIL MY CREDIT CARD IS CHARGED.
Dialed down to USPS snail mail. Can’t wait!
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 12:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Dad, follow your own advice and don't get lardy! (unless you were planning to use your powers to cloak this after Jim sees your complaining).
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 12:14 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
sorry, but some damn kid already messed up the lawn.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 12:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, so....bring out the shotgun, OPOS.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 12:28 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah I thought you had made the General Soreness nickname.
But that shouldnt be possible since you dont have a site.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Feb 27, 2009 12:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Also brought us the classic cip image:
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 11:56 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Feb 27, 2009 3:03 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Rec'd.
(And the guy wasn’t even Native-American!)
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 27, 2009 3:06 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
your toils in obscurity are eminently enjoyable.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Feb 28, 2009 4:40 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
At least I'm appreciated for something.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Mar 1, 2009 2:11 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
And your John Rooney eulogy was outstanding.
Took me back to the days of “it’s a goner!” and “…for a White Sox winner!”
good times
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on Mar 1, 2009 3:02 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Christopher Michaels Michaels Michelangelo Mike Michaels
CM was a short-lived Managing Editor for SSS.
Feeling like Google, or some other faceless entity, was snubbing him, The Cheat created a porn star moniker to publish articles on SSS; in hopes of getting better reception in the newsosphere.
Not only did it not work, but CM’s presence pretty much cursed the Sox entire season. He showed up to report in September 08 (and briefly once before), and, well, we all know what September looked like.
Cheat returned by the end of the regular season to give the Sox the extra luck they needed to make it to the post-season.
Fuck CMMM.
No, really, he’s a porn star – go fuck him.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 12:33 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
christopher michaels is the one who picked the twins to win the central over the white sox on hardball times.
southsidesox.com - now the best place on the interwebs for chicago white sox analysis and discussion.
by larry on Feb 27, 2009 12:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Yep, even more reason to hate him. And this brings up another good one.....
The Twins have already won everything under the baseball sun.
They won the division last year – clinched it over us in TwinkieTown the week before the season ended, and probably even before that.
They went on to win the 2008 World Series, and have already sealed the championship in 2009.
They are America’s team, and to not like them makes you a terrorist.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 12:44 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
"stanchar" is the ultimate contrary opinion.
What he predicts is like George Costanza’s epiphany to always “do the opposite” of the desired result. (e.g. stanchar calls for a Sox rally and the side goes down on 9 strikes.)
Thus, a “reverse stanchar” is a prediction that actually comes true. (For OPOS’, think of Marvelous Marv Throneberry of the 1962 Mets who inspired the T-shirt “VRAM!” because of his ability to frequently generate the oppositely desired results.)
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 27, 2009 1:37 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
cowley's wife
cowley’s wife has slept with a number of white sox players, most notably orlando cabrera. we know this because joe cowley has expressed nothing but disdain for the colombian in his writing.
by onlysoxfaninboston on Feb 27, 2009 1:39 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Columbian/Californian: to Cowley, same thing. Hates them both.
Adding:
Cowley is the Sox beat writer/Twitterer for the Chicago Sun-Times. He (infamously) has this on his Wiki page:
In May 2004 while traveling with the White Sox on a road trip to Toronto, Cowley made disparaging remarks about the city of Toronto in a radio interview, calling it "nothing but a city in a third-world country." Subsequently during the series in Toronto, Cowley refused to stand for the Canadian national anthem prior to a game. Toronto Blue Jays president Paul Godfrey described Cowley as having "bad manners" and had letters of complaint sent to both Cowley and his publisher over the incident.
Cowley gained notoriety nationally when he admitted on Tuesday Nov. 21, 2006 on the Mike and the Mad Dog show, which is heard on WFAN New York, to be the only writer to vote Derek Jeter in sixth place on the American League MVP ballot. It is important to note, however, that if Cowley had placed Jeter first on the ballot, Justin Morneau still would have won.
That was the second such incident for Cowley; after omitting Blue Jays players Carlos Delgado and Vernon Wells, two top-ten overall finishers, from his 2003 AL MVP ballot, the Chicago chapter suspended him from voting the next year. They accused Cowley of not voting seriously, saying he “embarrassed” the Chicago chapter of the BBWAA.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 1:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Californian = Canadian?
Otherwise you lost me.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 27, 2009 2:01 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
No. The Canadian story has nothing to do with his hatred of Califonians...
Remember his digs at Garland? I think he hit BA a couple of times too.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Feb 27, 2009 2:14 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
he must not have a map
as BA’s from AZ. or just a disdain for anything southwestern
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Feb 27, 2009 3:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Thanks
Thanks for this Chiburb, much needed for me anyway. This is a great place for sox fans, a fantastic resource. I know this thread will enhance the experience for me this season. Much appreciated.
by iachifan on Feb 27, 2009 2:12 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Since some other SB sites actually prevent swearing
I thought I’d mention that the language here is offensive to every known alien race in the universe, especially women and Hindus.
Also, any scoffing at advanced statistics, or analyzing baseball through the lens of “grinder” will be met with the standard dose of baseball blog elitist left-wing hate speech.
Confusion breeds success. If they don't know each other, opponents can't have strategy. GENIUS.
by Ozzie Montana on Feb 27, 2009 3:16 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
i hope you drown in front of your children.
southsidesox.com - now the best place on the interwebs for chicago white sox analysis and discussion.
by larry on Feb 27, 2009 3:22 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
how did we forget that one
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 3:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ditto.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Feb 27, 2009 3:31 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I also meant to rec OM's comment...well done.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 1, 2009 3:22 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
"Paniagua".
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Feb 27, 2009 3:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
we will not be explaining that one
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 27, 2009 3:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
you can at least explain the significance of jose paniagua in the weltanschauung of hawk harrelson.
southsidesox.com - now the best place on the interwebs for chicago white sox analysis and discussion.
by larry on Feb 27, 2009 3:32 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
nobody wants to hear about Hawk's wienerschnitzel
by Trooper on Feb 27, 2009 6:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
the dreaded leadoff walk
is also ‘paniaqua’
"...and Ms. Boston just walked by in a red/yellow sweater."
"Theres a lot of Ms Bostons at Fenway tonight."
"Well, maybe shes Miss greater Boston, shes about an eleven and a half."
-Harry Carey and Joe McConnell(?), opening day, Sox @ BoSox, 1981.
by e-gus on Feb 27, 2009 8:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
The eagle has landed, and the fat man walks alone....
"wow, yeah. cubs ST should be awesome. have a great time."
-by Larry on Jan. 9, 2009 3:09 PM PST
by Hoytsstash on Feb 27, 2009 10:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
it's on me....
"wow, yeah. cubs ST should be awesome. have a great time."
-by Larry on Jan. 9, 2009 3:09 PM PST
by Hoytsstash on Feb 27, 2009 10:25 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
rallly
<img src=“http://static.guim.co.uk/Guardian/sport/gallery/2007/dec/03/motorracing.motoring/”mailto:GD5495291@Rallying—-Rally-of-G-608.jpg">GD5495291@Rallying—-Rally-of-G-608.jpg"/>
"...and Ms. Boston just walked by in a red/yellow sweater."
"Theres a lot of Ms Bostons at Fenway tonight."
"Well, maybe shes Miss greater Boston, shes about an eleven and a half."
-Harry Carey and Joe McConnell(?), opening day, Sox @ BoSox, 1981.
by e-gus on Feb 27, 2009 8:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
wtf? rally?
.jpg)
"...and Ms. Boston just walked by in a red/yellow sweater."
"Theres a lot of Ms Bostons at Fenway tonight."
"Well, maybe shes Miss greater Boston, shes about an eleven and a half."
-Harry Carey and Joe McConnell(?), opening day, Sox @ BoSox, 1981.
by e-gus on Feb 27, 2009 8:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
thats better
I remember that one, that was funny.
"...and Ms. Boston just walked by in a red/yellow sweater."
"Theres a lot of Ms Bostons at Fenway tonight."
"Well, maybe shes Miss greater Boston, shes about an eleven and a half."
-Harry Carey and Joe McConnell(?), opening day, Sox @ BoSox, 1981.
by e-gus on Feb 27, 2009 8:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Although I have the utmost respect for Larry, you may somtimes picture him as I do..
"wow, yeah. cubs ST should be awesome. have a great time."
-by Larry on Jan. 9, 2009 3:09 PM PST
by Hoytsstash on Feb 27, 2009 10:29 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
hoodlight is from peoria but pretends that he's some bloke from england
and he occasionally posts pics of semi naked girls, sorry, ‘birds’. he has good taste…
by onlysoxfaninboston on Feb 27, 2009 10:45 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
my Prime Minister is a boss eyed wanker
by hoodlight on Feb 28, 2009 6:45 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
nicely done. i'd let her bang me.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Feb 28, 2009 7:19 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
recd
"KenWO
no point in arguing with people who are blinded from reality..."
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 29, 2008 6:49 PM
by Illini0509 on Mar 1, 2009 4:01 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
kenwo should have a glossary to himself
instead refer to two of larry’s fanpost on kenwo.
by onlysoxfaninboston on Feb 27, 2009 10:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
BA vs JO, Swisher trade, or rather, debates over topics with diminishing returns
by onlysoxfaninboston on Feb 28, 2009 1:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
P.s.
This is a dead horse, no need to beat it. Just thought I’d clarify, for you will be seeing many of them.
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on Feb 28, 2009 11:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Pretty much whatever animal/creature represents our opponents winds up dead in a thread somewhere..
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 1, 2009 2:47 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
NIck Magic = Nick Masset
I have no idea why however.
also, the conservation of masset theory should be reposted in here.
Lurking since 2006
by boyonthedock on Feb 28, 2009 4:37 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Nick Magic
Based on his ability to make White Sox management believe in illusions.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Mar 2, 2009 12:34 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I thought
he also seemed to get hitters out magically, without any one really knowing how he did it.
Lurking since 2006
by boyonthedock on Mar 3, 2009 2:00 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i probably had sex with your wife or girlfriend, sister(s), mother, daughter(s) and any other women you hold in high regard.
it’s better that you know now and that i be the one to tell you.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Feb 28, 2009 8:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
you'd have no chance with my bird
my Prime Minister is a boss eyed wanker
by hoodlight on Feb 28, 2009 8:39 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
whatever helps you sleep at night.
but it really has more to do with me never stepping foot in that horseshit town you call home.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Feb 28, 2009 8:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
home is where my hat is
my Prime Minister is a boss eyed wanker
by hoodlight on Feb 28, 2009 8:51 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 28, 2009 9:05 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
ah yes, MarketMaker
He is known to do copious amounts of blow and fornicate with hookers who then find themselves dead and buried out in the desert.
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Feb 28, 2009 8:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
it's always snowing when MM's in town
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Feb 28, 2009 9:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
The magical part is how he finds a desert in Illinois.
( I assume you’re in Chi-area MM, if not I apologize )
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on Feb 28, 2009 11:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
And you're still waiting for me to make you a sandwich.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 1, 2009 3:21 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
The Wire
Threads are regularly highjacked by The Wire discussions.
I finally got around to watching it so i will be contributing the lard from now on.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 1, 2009 12:41 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
apparently stringer bell is going to be appearing on "The Office"
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Mar 1, 2009 1:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Haha, will he be getting fucked over in another deal?
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 1, 2009 1:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
don't know
he’s supposed to be on it for six episodes later this season as a no-nonsense rival of michael’s in the company
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Mar 1, 2009 1:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I dont really watch the Office but I might follow that arc just for String.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 1, 2009 2:08 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
that is going to weird me the fuck out.
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Mar 1, 2009 3:51 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
what, that a gangsta thug can play the dilbert thing
that’s racist yo
by onlysoxfaninboston on Mar 2, 2009 9:19 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
There's Something About Wallace
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Mar 2, 2009 3:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Dayan Viciedo - Hot Fire
my president is white.
by JoeCoolMan24 on Mar 1, 2009 11:31 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
keep trying
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on Mar 1, 2009 11:34 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
HoT FiRe?
my president is white.
by JoeCoolMan24 on Mar 1, 2009 11:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Wasn't there a Chapelle's Show sketch
Where Chapelle was making fun of p-diddy’s making of the band….
A character on the show was named dylan but pronounces his own name as Die-Lon
And he kept saying i spit hot fire….hot fire
It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
by ElDiablo on Mar 1, 2009 11:44 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Where would he play?
In re trade calls for people whose positions are already occupied (sometimes very deeply on the depth chart).
by Sox-35th on Mar 2, 2009 12:01 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
i want that t-shirt
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 2, 2009 12:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
for those unawares, TSK refers to this
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Mar 2, 2009 12:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
anybody know the history of the shirt?
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 2, 2009 1:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I made it in '05 during the Griffey madness
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
The Cheat on Facebook
by The Cheat on Mar 2, 2009 3:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
was it ever for sale a la cafepress/zazzle/etc.?
or just a photoshop to make a point? if the former, is there still an active link?
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 2, 2009 3:41 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I think it lasted 24 hours before they shut it down
for having an image of buehrle
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
The Cheat on Facebook
by The Cheat on Mar 2, 2009 5:50 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
It can also be applied in a backhanded fashion
In cases where Hawk Harrelson gravely overestimates the ability of a player on said depth chart.
“And there’s talk about the Sox trading for Joe Mauer. Well, where would he play? The Sox already have A.J. Pierzynski, who along with being a fine catcher himself, is perhaps the team’s best baserunner and the heart and soul of this club.”
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Mar 2, 2009 12:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
THAT explains a lot to me.
Thanks.
PS How many books sold?
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 2, 2009 2:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Use caution when giving compliments on this site,
Lest you be accused of “knob-slobbing”
by oahu420 on Mar 2, 2009 1:09 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
by the mighty Nostradamus himself, WTGTD
I guess that should be explained as well. WTGTD seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts. He will assure you he predicted many an event, but then when asked for proof will vehemently insist you look it up yourself using the search feature. When you do look something up, say a prediction that was completely wrong, he will claim this was taken out of context.
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Mar 2, 2009 1:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Chiburb especially is glued to Nate Silver's knob.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 2, 2009 2:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Correction: Chiburb is glued to pointing out how larry is glued to Silver's knob.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 2, 2009 3:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Nate Silver is the patriarch of this site, nay he is the patriarch of this entire universe
His words of wisdom backed up by stats are like droplets of water on your balls on a hot summer day.
Confusion breeds success. If they don't know each other, opponents can't have strategy. GENIUS.
by Ozzie Montana on Mar 2, 2009 4:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Well said! Silver's threads, and my golden needles can mend hearts.
Maybe you had to be there…
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Mar 2, 2009 5:32 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
A few others:
Orlando Hudson : Long-time White Sox second baseman, Orlando Hudson, renowned for his steadfast loyalty to the team, who has served as the “face of the franchise” for decades (think Cal Ripken with the Orioles, George Brett with the Royals or Derek Jeter with the Yankees). Ironically, despite his lifetime of service with the Sox, he seems to be mentioned in every trade rumor involving any other team that needs a second baseman (e.g., this year, the Dodgers were reportedly pursuing him before he resigned with the Sox for another 20 years).
Nick Punto refers to the best player in the history of the Minnesota Twins, winner of the last several World’s Series, NBA Championships and golf majors. He also happens to be the greatest super-villain/menace to peace in world history — essentially the equivalent of a million General Zods multiplied by a million Genghis Kahns, except a million times worse.
AAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE is the site’s generally accepted measured, rational response to any obstacle or potential difficulty encountered by the White Sox. See also: “Shitcock”, “BLAAARRGHHHH”, “NOOOOOOO PUUUUUUNNNNTOOOO”.
Associate Editor: A title which, until recently, was a simple recognition of the nobility, honor, wisdom and moral strength of a member of the site, without the accompanying crass, bourgeois expectation and responsibility that modernity has dictated be given as a quid-pro-quo for the granting of such titles. Recently, this term has been replaced by the title of “Author”, and the term “Editor” has replaced “Associate Editor”, with the recipients of the latter title being required to post at the feverish, frenetic pace of the third-world sweatshop worker. “Associate Editor” remains a fond term of nostalgia — a byword of the innocent, bucolic past of the site in the face of the grindingly efficient “new and improved” South Side Sox.
by The Actual El Guapo on Mar 2, 2009 5:39 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
"grindingly efficient"
Nary a post slips through the cracks round these parts without using some version of that word. Must be the Getz effect.
"would've been a sweep if pablo was here" -Kenwo-
by Hazymania on Mar 2, 2009 5:45 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
it's like having a hot tub in an attic, i tells ya.
rec’d of course
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Mar 2, 2009 6:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
my god. punto's like 9/11 times 2,356
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 2, 2009 6:13 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Don't forget "fucksticks!"
Also, very nice, AEG. I was waiting for your contribution.
required to post at the feverish, frenetic pace of the third-world sweatshop worker.
We at SSS Outsourcing like to keep our workers busy as little bees!!
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 2, 2009 6:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
i'm quite partial to "shitfuck"
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Mar 2, 2009 6:18 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
It must be nice to have everyone give you grist for your mill, free of charge,
ride in, and cop the thread in one post while there are those of us banging out 20,000 posts to keep this site alive.
You POS. Rec’d.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 2, 2009 6:28 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
did mao take over?
any idea why every reply is hidden?
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Mar 2, 2009 7:50 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Doesn't look hidden to me.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 3, 2009 9:58 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
now it isn't, yesterday it was
see hsa’s post too:
http://www.southsidesox.com/2009/2/27/774044/community-project-new-memb#12689841
anyway, I didn’t accuse you of anything
I just asked if you knew why
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Mar 3, 2009 12:50 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I wasn't responding as accused.
I told you it didn’t look hidden to me. And it wasn’t. Didn’t see it last night.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 3, 2009 2:22 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
HAHA!
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 3, 2009 10:57 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
The origin of "shitcock"
This phrase was mostly used in response to SSH (see entry on SSH above).
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 3, 2009 12:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
that's a penny arcade comic, fwiw
“Gabe’s Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” iirc
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Mar 3, 2009 3:45 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Rec'd indeed. Now: someone do a writeup on TAEG!
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Mar 2, 2009 7:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
See, I thought about that, but there are certain things that new people can just figure out on their own. Nobody gave the rest of us cheat sheets. We just were able to notice that TAEG shows up at the end of particularly clusterfucked threads and
provides us with a hilarious “recap” of the thread….filtered through his very creative mind.
Nobody needs a cheat sheet to figure stuff like that out.
Same with the player nicknames. If you have half of an ability to gather information from context, that is stuff you could figure out.
We don’t have to put everything in this thread. Let the newbies do some research and figuring on their own, I say.
Also, TAEG loves Woody Allen.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 3, 2009 8:38 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Reply button
As clearly demonstrated by Chiburb the reply button is hard to find.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 2, 2009 7:46 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Where did TAEG's go?
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 2, 2009 9:11 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 2, 2009 9:19 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
one of our mod's must have ghosted it
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Mar 2, 2009 9:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
huh? is that a line from The Outsiders?
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Mar 2, 2009 10:06 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
not that i'm aware if
But Frank Thomas was always his own guy, he always lived by some sort of code that wasn’t especially clear to anyone but him.
by U-God on Mar 2, 2009 10:53 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
hilarious!
"KenWO
no point in arguing with people who are blinded from reality..."
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 29, 2008 6:49 PM
by Illini0509 on Mar 3, 2009 12:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
LOL !!
"wow, yeah. cubs ST should be awesome. have a great time."
-by Larry on Jan. 9, 2009 3:09 PM PST
by Hoytsstash on Mar 4, 2009 3:46 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
THERE you are.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 4, 2009 4:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
don't know who cloaked it, but I undid it.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Mar 3, 2009 4:20 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Not I.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 3, 2009 9:58 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Way to go, Cheat. Give the two senile members of SSS the cloaking powers. This should be fun to watch.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 3, 2009 10:58 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Get to work. Big Brother is watching.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 3, 2009 12:17 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I see what you did there.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Mar 3, 2009 12:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Shouldn't there also be a "best of/greatest hits" archive index for newbies?
The epic fail of 2007 did have one good result – mass quantities of awesome hate generated on these pages, most of it directed at Erstad and Pods. Off the top of my head, my favorite is “Ozzie, Pods use their head, give game to A’s”.
There was great suspense anticipating how long it would take for Erstad to go on the DL. After the first trip in May, the day of Erstad’s heroic return from the DL in June to lead us versus the Cubs was a classic display of SSS Schadenfreude
Wilder Bilked Money from Sox to Fund Struggling Gay Bar
by ChicagoPete on Mar 4, 2009 6:06 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Before we had Q! we had Terstado.
For a few games in 07 Luis Terrero was acting like a Major League player. Routinely getting hbp and showing off impressive power before regressing back to shit.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 4, 2009 6:16 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Remember this next time "lostinthevines" posts here...
SSS is a bunch of douchebags. There are a few that know their stoff – colintj, larry, The Cheat – but the rest are meatheds for the most part. – lostinthevines on Mar 4, 2009
by DrCrawdad on Mar 9, 2009 11:51 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
good stuff
I’m enjoying all of this. Now we need a thread where all the photoshops go.
by shaftr on Mar 9, 2009 6:48 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
If you provide a link in your comment or anywhere for that matter, please check the box to "open link in a new window."
For a person making his or her way through a thread full of new comments, it kinda really freaking sucks to get taken away and lose your spot in the thread.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 11, 2009 2:08 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
excellent advice
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Mar 11, 2009 2:27 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I know, baby! You dig it the most!
/Vincent Vega
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 11, 2009 2:35 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Is this where we get to start tearing into you like we did when hoodie suggested this?
You are right. But larry is actually a prick too.
- HSA 01/07/09
by rhythm on Mar 11, 2009 4:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
cause that was pretty funny
and yes, HSA, I recognize why / where you posted your comment. and yes, I was amused.
You are right. But larry is actually a prick too.
- HSA 01/07/09
by rhythm on Mar 11, 2009 4:31 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dude, I was already involved in that hoodie/Wiz debacle....but thank you for offering. :)
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 11, 2009 4:36 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
yeah, I was just bringing up sweet, sweet memories
You are right. But larry is actually a prick too.
- HSA 01/07/09
by rhythm on Mar 11, 2009 5:15 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Never!
I right-click all my links to open in a new tab anyway.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Mar 11, 2009 6:44 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I agree, I just think some n00bs need to learn how to web
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 11, 2009 7:07 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
how to web?
is that you shelob?
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Mar 11, 2009 7:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ungoliant was more X-core!
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 9:04 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Blame these pics on Wiz.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 9:08 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nerds!
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 11, 2009 9:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 9:37 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
didn't come to mind dammit...
here’s one more:
“Morgoth and Ungoliant”. Ungoliant feeds on jewels. Artist: Guy Gondron.
The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.
by The Wizard on Mar 11, 2009 9:49 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
yeah those are sweet.
im only halfway through the silmarillion myself.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 10:19 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
You guys are so young.
And nerdy. Reminds me of my D and D days. IN 1975!
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 12, 2009 7:24 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I found a video of your D&D experience on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6AOd6r6Qi8
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 12, 2009 10:00 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Can't right-click on a mac, doodyhead. ;P
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 8:31 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Control-shift-option-apple click then
Or whatever crazy combo Apple feels is more usable than a second mouse button.
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 12, 2009 10:01 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'd rather just have the link open in another window.
The commenter making one extra click to check the box saves the rest of us all our right clicks and whatever crap required of me and other mac-users to do the equivalent.
Save the clicks, people.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 11:00 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I see, the rest of the world should revolve around you :)
Typical hsa, typical.
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 12, 2009 11:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well....yes...I won't necessarily disagree with that.... :)
But on this issue specifically, I speak to represent my fellow citizens of SSS.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 11:27 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
you have to forgive hsa
in her line of work, she can’t ctrl-click. having a hand free is a necessity
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 12, 2009 3:34 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
of course you can.
http://www.apple.com/mightymouse/
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Mar 12, 2009 11:12 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Thank you for opening in a new window.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 11:29 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
You should've right-clicked.
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Mar 12, 2009 12:15 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
An inability to right-click on your part
Doesn’t constitute an extra click on mine.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Mar 12, 2009 12:25 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's fine, Jim. That's just dandy. I simply won't quick on any of the crap you post then. :)
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 12:26 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Sox Machine requires a literacy test to enter, anyways
You wouldn’t pass.
Confusion breeds success. If they don't know each other, opponents can't have strategy. GENIUS.
by Ozzie Montana on Mar 12, 2009 12:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
His links, much like his site and book, don't exist anyway
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 12, 2009 12:35 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
*click
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 12:36 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
i think your crusade for this matter has hit the saturation point where you may be starting to see diminishing returns on your request.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Mar 12, 2009 12:53 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Blame Jim. I made one comment and was provoked from there.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 1:03 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
No self-control, always the last word,
thy name is HSA.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 12, 2009 1:07 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes.
(DAMN YOU, CLOAKER! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I’VE WRITTEN THIS!)
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 19, 2009 8:19 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I was just making the insidest of all inside jokes
One about my boss, who none of you know and doesn’t post here.
It’s a fun line to say.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Mar 12, 2009 3:08 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Are you on Cheat's meds?
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 12, 2009 3:14 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
No, I just lack causes
So I make up trivial ones from time to time.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Mar 12, 2009 4:12 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
"I'm passionate!
Just not about much."
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 12, 2009 4:23 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
you know you can buy a mouse for like 5 bucks
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Mar 12, 2009 4:04 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Pacific NW runs on hopes, dreams, rainbows, and Bill Gates' nightmare fuel
Confusion breeds success. If they don't know each other, opponents can't have strategy. GENIUS.
by Ozzie Montana on Mar 12, 2009 6:00 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
may I suggest referring to the original "link-in-a-new-window" argument, instead of just having it again?
It was much more entertaining than this sequel anyway. Conducted in the middle of the stressful holiday season, blood was spilt. Plus, it may be the first appearance of “you are a twat”.
Note: this link opens in a new window…
I'm like a laser, six-string razor. I've got a mouth like an alligator
by Nordhagen on Mar 12, 2009 2:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oh man that thread was epic
I think I was in hibernation at the time.
As a compromise, I promise to check the box on 50% of my links. It’ll be an adventure every time!
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 12, 2009 2:37 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow. That WAS fun! Thanks for the trip down Holiday 08 Memory Lane.
hysterical.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 3:23 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
