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Around SBN: Jerry Sandusky's Wife Tries To Run A Reporter Over

see bottom of article after all the stuff about Ramirez

about 3 years ago _44509003_les_mclean_snow_tiny hoodlight 26 comments 5 recs  | 

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But where would he play? LF with Q! moving to CF?

"A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores. "
Klinger

by Chiburb on Feb 3, 2009 9:06 AM CST reply actions  

If true and he accepts

I have no problem with it. Flame away.

"It just occurred to me that the White Sox could win the division."

by SuddenSam on May 22, 2008 9:45 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

" That just makes me want to puke all over your head, sir."

by Tdogg on Feb 3, 2009 9:08 AM CST reply actions  

Just depends on what else we do I think.

8 million for one year isn’t going to hurt us, and if it means we found a taker for JD or Konerko I see no real reason to complain.

by Grinder in Training on Feb 3, 2009 9:23 AM CST up reply actions  

Well

With Abreu leading off though, Anderson starts in center over Owens I would think. No real change in the balance from what we are going with now. Can have Lillibridge start at second if you still feel it’s too left handed.

Abreu, Alexei, Q, Thome, Konerko, AJ, Fields, Anderson, Lillibridge / Getz. Pretty balanced.

by Grinder in Training on Feb 3, 2009 9:41 AM CST up reply actions  

abreu means no jerry owens?

hmmm, I think I can get behind that…

The greatest trick the White Sox ever pulled was convincing their fan base that "Ozzieball" ever existed.

by The Wizard on Feb 3, 2009 1:31 PM CST up reply actions  

I would find that signing

amusing given the recent headlines of ‘Sox not chasing more high priced talent’. Not holding my breath, but I would be amused.

by jc2313 on Feb 3, 2009 9:39 AM CST reply actions  

just to point out,

this article isn’t necessarily referring to recent events. using “was offered” could mean anytime since free agency began. the article is discussing how abreu has only received one year offers, after all.

by larry on Feb 3, 2009 9:47 AM CST up reply actions  

But it gives us something to discuss!

besides viagra bombs, english beer, nazi’s, bar flies, climatic change, the re-revolution of punk, Tuesday night strip club crawls and WU’s infatuation with plaid.

"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."

by BobbySouthSide on Feb 3, 2009 11:06 AM CST up reply actions  

WU has an infatuation with plaid?

When did this happen, and why?

"A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores. "
Klinger

by Chiburb on Feb 3, 2009 11:20 AM CST up reply actions  

WU still lives in the 70's

That was his peak and it has been downhill ever sense. The plaid helps him remember his glory years….when his mind was sharp, he stil had a full head of hair, didn’t need PED’s for sex and Bruce Springsteen and Bobby Segar were all the rave.

"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."

by BobbySouthSide on Feb 3, 2009 11:36 AM CST up reply actions  

This reminds me of WU...

Georg Festrunk: My brother and I are from Czechoslavakia, even though no one can tell. We escaped during the ’75 riots, by throwing many rocks at a Russian tank. We ran from it to come to America, but, boy, we gave up many things. Back there, we have a nice, groovy apartment, three cars and a summer house, which the government now owns! [ laughs ] Back there, we have medical degrees – but here in America we must be salesman for decorative bathroom fixtures. There, we are brain surgeons!

Yortuk Festrunk: We are.. unique kinds of guys!

Georg Festrunk: Two swinging guys who enjoy many things, and can do them all the time! Not to be polite, but what are your names?

Lynn: Uh.. Lynn.

Barb: Uh.. Barb.

Georg Festrunk: Well, you two look like some fox-y American girls, who are very attractive and who enjoy having a good swinging time!
Georg Festrunk: But enough of this flattery. You young girls seem to know that we’re talking to you in a very swinging way. What can you say to us that we would enjoy talking about with you now, here and now, in this swinging way with us?

[ awkward silence for a beat ]

Barb: Well.. um..

Lynn: Well.. um..

Georg Festrunk: Maybe you’ve taken some.. drugs.. which gave you many pretty colors. That freak you out and make you want to die!

Lynn: Well.. uh..

Barb: Well.. uh.. oh! [ speaking slowly for full comprehension ] I knew this girl in coll-ege that took ac-id and got preg-nant.

[ Georg and Yortuk are impressed with the shift in conversation ]

Georg Festrunk: Well, this is sure a swinging rap session in America!

Lynn: Well.. um.. I don’t take.. [ restructures her sentence for full comprehension ] I take drugs – no!

Yortuk Festrunk: Well, maybe someday, someone will put some in your food!

[ Georg and Yortuk laugh like they made a brilliant, profound statement ]

Yortuk Festrunk: Don’t smell anything!

[ Georg and Yortuk laugh some more ]

Georg Festrunk: So now.. you know!

[ Georg and Yortuk laugh even more ]

Georg Festrunk: Say.. my brother Yortuk and I, we really enjoy the American disco music! So, to show you how swinging we are, and how much we love it, we’re going to dance for you now! With you, by putting some music on the jukeobx!

Yortuk Festrunk: [ makes a grab for Barb ] Come on, you crazy girl!

Barb: Um..

Georg Festrunk: Come on, fox-es! Don’t miss out on the fun!

[ disco music is turned on, as Georg and Yortuk demostrate their ridiculous dancing moves ]

Georg Festrunk: I see you two girls have never lived in a Communist bloc country, so.. get out of our ways!

Lynn: We’ve gotta lose these guys..

Barb: Yeah, we gotta go..

[ Lynn and Barb turn to exit the Rec Room ]

Georg Festrunk: Hey, hey, hey, wait! [ runs over toward Lynn and Barb ] You know.. you American girls have such big breasts all the time.

Yortuk Festrunk: [ stammering ] And your tight American blue jeans think us.. have.. have.. making sex! [ laughs ]

Georg Festrunk: Well.. I guess you must like us by now! So, please! Give us the number of your apartment, so we can go up there and have sex with you right now!

Lynn: I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we go someplace and meet, first?

Georg Festrunk: [ excited by his prospects ] Certainly! But I hope it is not long before all our clothes are off!

Yortuk Festrunk: And we are holding your big American breasts in our hands!

Lynn: I’ve got an idea! Do you know the Holland Tunnel?

Georg Festrunk: Of course! We swing there often!

Lynn: Meet us in the middle of the Holland Tunnel. Do you know the man in the glass booth?

Georg Festrunk: Naturally!

Yortuk Festrunk: Yeah! He knows our names – Georg and Yortuk!

Lynn: Well, you go there, and park there, and wait for us.

Barb: Yeah, yeah. We’ll meet you there as son as we slip into our big American breasts!

Georg Festrunk: Okay! We’ll have a swinging time!

Yortuk Festrunk: When we see you, we will wish we were having sex with you right then!

Lynn: Bye bye..

[ Barb and Lynn exit Rec Room ]

Georg Festrunk: Oh, you see, Yortuk, I told you! In this whole building, there is not one other pair of brothers from Czechoslavakia who ran from the tanks like us!

[ George serves the Ping-Pong ball to Yortuk, who slams his paddle onto the table and sends the ball flying across the Rec Room ]

Yortuk Festrunk: I win again!

Georg Festrunk: Good shot!

Yortuk Festrunk: Thank you. Don’t mention it!

"A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores. "
Klinger

by Chiburb on Feb 3, 2009 12:12 PM CST up reply actions  

Nice!

"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."

by BobbySouthSide on Feb 3, 2009 12:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Big Country was a helluva band.

I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT

by winningugly on Feb 3, 2009 12:13 PM CST up reply actions  

What was $16MM and now is being offered $8MM

might be construed “value”. Would you rather have Garland at $7.25MM or Abreu at $8MM?

I’d take Bobby. If we can get rid of JD.

I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT

by winningugly on Feb 3, 2009 12:11 PM CST up reply actions  

Seriously, I thought Abreu's defense sucked. If not, who am I thinking of?

"A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores. "
Klinger

by Chiburb on Feb 3, 2009 12:13 PM CST up reply actions  

It does.

He can still hit, he has a good arm, can steal a base, and has a nice OBP. I’ll take that over Garland’s bong hits and 5 ERA for the $7-8MM.

And his 2005 Home Run Derby trophy can go right next to the WS trophy. We get A-Rod, the 2005 MVP, and since we now have Colon, the Cy Young winner from 2005, we are complete.

I would rather douse a newspaper in gasoline, wrap it around my penis and light it on fire then relive that experience
by armedpp on Aug 29, 2007 2:36 AM EDT

by winningugly on Feb 3, 2009 12:16 PM CST up reply actions  

I think Bobby was engaged to Ms. Universe then too

No need to put her in the trophy case, I’ll take her and save you all the trouble.

"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."

by BobbySouthSide on Feb 3, 2009 12:51 PM CST up reply actions  

point taken . . . the odds

are certainly that this was not a recent offer, but I would find Kenny to be one sly SOB if he did pull this off.

by jc2313 on Feb 3, 2009 10:15 AM CST reply actions  

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