Who Will Play Second Base for the White Sox? And, is The Cheat Dying?
Let's address the second - and far more important - question after the jump. First, though, Kenny says Gordon Beckham is in the mix for second base:
“Oh, yes. He’s starting at that position or starting in the Minors,” said Williams during a talk just prior to Wednesday’s 6-2 Cactus League victory over the Brewers at Camelback Ranch. “That’s the only caveat I’m going to put on Ozzie and his coaching staff.”
He went on to describe the currently injured Jayson Nix as a guy having "a more conducive swing to come off the bench" and Chris Getz as capable of doing the "little things". As Joe Cowley pointed out in his rankings yesterday, Brent Lillibridge has already played himself down to the bottom of the contenders.
In game action at El Rancho, Mark Buehrle looked sharp in allowing two hits over three scoreless innings, striking out four, walking one, and picking RIckie Weeks off of first base. Scott Linebrink came on and had a shaky two thirds of an inning, giving up three hits and a run while also throwing a wild pitch. However, the rest of the bullpen - Russell, Jenks, Dotel, Egbert, and Carrasco - gave up no runs the rest of the way, which wasn't a surprise considering they were striking guys out and not letting guys reach base via hit or the walk.
Jim Thome provided a bit of a scare as he was a late scratch from the lineup. His balky back balked again. It sounds like, however, that it's nothing more than the usual and he'll return this weekend. It is a bit of a concern, though, that his back is acting up in Spring Training - could be a foreshadowing of things to come.
Box.
Yes, The Cheat is seriously ill. Butt cancer to be exact. I'm sure we all know a family member or friend who has struggled against this terrible disease. And, considering the ferocity of this cancer, they're probably long dead. So, to help The Cheat out with his mounting medical bills, the rest of the editors and I have started the "Page Views for the Cheat" campaign. See, The Cheat lives in some shack in the far outlying suburbs. He scrapes his nickels and dimes together from the paper route he's had since he got his cool new bike and from doing odd "interweb" jobs here and there. But his primary source of income is the ad revenue from this site. So, if everyone could just visit South Side Sox a couple more times a day - preferably from different computers so you're a "unique" visitor - and ask your friends to do the same, we could easily raise $10 or even $20 over the next few weeks to help defray the cost of the butt implants The Cheat will (hopefully) be requiring once he's beaten the cancer. And then he'll be able to ride that bike of his again.
* * * * *
[Note by The Cheat, 03/11/09 10:33 PM CDT]: I'm alive. Butt cancer is in remission. Prognosis good. In fact, I was writing something as Larry posted this. Posted below, because we don't need another post.
If you had two weeks into spring training games in the the When do the White Sox Finally Realize Jerry Owens Sucks, Congratulations. You win... nothing.
In the last few days, we've had Ozzie Guillen say that Owens is fighting for his job, and now Williams seems to be discussing alternatives to have a fast, punchless outmaker at the top of th lineup.
"A lot of people get too hung up with stolen base totals," Williams said. "One of the reasons I got [Scott Podsednik] was to steal bases but he also came with an on-base percentage of about .350.
"The goal is to get to second base to get in scoring position. So a leadoff hitter who will hit you 30 doubles and then steal you, instead of 40 bases, maybe 15 [is fine].
Of course, the questions then becomes Who leads off? Who do the Sox have who fits the above profile?
Kenny would also like to fill his starting rotation with number 2, pitchers, that is.
While Buehrle may not your typical "ace," he is No. 1. That's fine with general manager Ken Williams, who says his theory is "to see how many No. 2's we can get and on a given day go up against a No. 1 and beat him."
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67 comments
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Comments
Butt cancer. Brilliant!
You are right. But larry is actually a prick too.
- HSA 01/07/09
by rhythm on Mar 11, 2009 10:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Perhaps a nicer chair would help make cheats last days more comfortable

typical south side sox meathead.
by thecip on Mar 11, 2009 10:27 PM CDT reply actions 14 recs
oh, i'm going to recommend that.
Join us at southsidesox.com in our "Page Views for The Cheat" campaign - to defeat butt cancer.
by larry on Mar 11, 2009 10:27 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
+1
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 10:42 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That thing is creepy
Well, the HELL with this! I'm goin' home!
by HappyHuman on Mar 11, 2009 10:49 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
If by creepy, you mean awesome
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 11, 2009 10:52 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Creepy...?
Look at the legs of the chair! – That’s craftmanship.
It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
by ElDiablo on Mar 11, 2009 10:52 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
boosh to that one
takes some real stones for the one certifiable cocksucker on here to jump into this convo.-mm
by furby2056 on Mar 11, 2009 11:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
wow, why do I have the feeling YOU took that picture and did not find it on google?
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Mar 12, 2009 8:15 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I looked up 'creepy chair.' honest.
(eats fresh gyro)
typical south side sox meathead.
by thecip on Mar 12, 2009 9:27 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
ROFL
Got any leftovers? like 40 lbs leftover? I heard you can bring your own chairs to PETA gatherings…
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Mar 12, 2009 5:39 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Someone must pray to that
Confusion breeds success. If they don't know each other, opponents can't have strategy. GENIUS.
by Ozzie Montana on Mar 12, 2009 11:50 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
You consistently crack me up.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 11:52 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That image will haunt my dreams.
Go Sox!
by luzinski on Mar 12, 2009 11:56 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
i've got the same chair except for mine is made out of orphans.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Mar 12, 2009 12:59 PM CDT up reply actions 9 recs
holy rec.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 1:02 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
now that is bringing A game
rec’d
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 12, 2009 2:03 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
So is Cheat considered day to day...?
Oh and i just checked ebay for the Sheep Chair….. no dice.
It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
by ElDiablo on Mar 11, 2009 10:51 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
still needs the implants, though.
you can’t comfortably ride a bike with just one cheek.
Join us at southsidesox.com in our "Page Views for The Cheat" campaign - to defeat butt cancer.
by larry on Mar 11, 2009 10:59 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I believe that Hank Hill had trouble riding a lawnmower.
He had to get butt implants as well.
Everyone has a cross to bear.
It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
by ElDiablo on Mar 11, 2009 11:03 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Diminished Gluts!
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 11:04 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
will he need to
make a new ass grove for everything he sits in?
by blackoutsox on Mar 12, 2009 7:08 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Is that like an orchard of asses?
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 7:25 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm from Morton Grove -
never heard of Ass Grove.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 12, 2009 8:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
probably smuggled
look at those cars in the background
btw im impressed at the article larry used for the quotes. it was actually informative.
usally scott merkins stuff is all sauce and no meat, which was what drove me to this site.
by blackoutsox on Mar 11, 2009 10:54 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
No meat?!
Doesnt sound very Chicago tough.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 10:56 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
no
but that … thing up there
is Chicago scary
by blackoutsox on Mar 11, 2009 10:58 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Reply button
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 10:59 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
There you go.
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 11:00 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Cheat, I have to disagree with you
The White Sox realizing Owens sucks means we all win.
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 11, 2009 10:59 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Ya
I don't need to look at fancy stats
to see if a guy is good or not. You might have to.
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 30, 2008 4:16 PM CST
by omnipotent grab on Mar 11, 2009 10:59 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
christ. give the man some time.
jumping all over him in his first foray back after his brush with death. ease him into it. just nod and post “you’re so right.” we can tell him how much of a dumbshit he is next week when he’s off the codeine.
Join us at southsidesox.com in our "Page Views for The Cheat" campaign - to defeat butt cancer.
by larry on Mar 11, 2009 11:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
If he's on the codeine, I don't think much of anything is bothering him.
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 11, 2009 11:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
My old Dyno VFR >>> Cheat's bike
sry dude.
by CWSKeith on Mar 11, 2009 11:38 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
VFR = very fucking ridiculous
i was a haro guy
"KenWO
no point in arguing with people who are blinded from reality..."
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 29, 2008 6:49 PM
by Illini0509 on Mar 12, 2009 12:21 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
redline 440 son
black GT mags
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Mar 12, 2009 8:58 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
actually thinking back
it was a redline, the kid next door had a haro
"KenWO
no point in arguing with people who are blinded from reality..."
by Where Triples Go to Die on Nov 29, 2008 6:49 PM
by Illini0509 on Mar 12, 2009 10:15 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
is it anal fissures?
Isn’t that what Kaz Matsui had?
by shaftr on Mar 12, 2009 1:00 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
i don't buy the "butt cancer" smokescreen
hoodie just forget to say which end of the brush you’re supposed to use.
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 12, 2009 1:51 AM CDT reply actions 2 recs
I could've sworn I heard him whisper "The more bristles, the better."
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 9:19 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
hopefully it wasn't bristles first!
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Mar 12, 2009 12:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
just to be safe, Cheat....
you should probably invest in some Oops I Crapped My Pants. i hear they work wonders for ailing butts
i suck - the sox dont - SSH2005
by BoeJouma on Mar 12, 2009 2:37 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Trade idea......
might not be a bad idea to give the Cardinals a call and check in on Chris Duncan. He’s healthy and having a huge spring. I kind of like him as an insurance policy for Thome……
by stanchar on Mar 12, 2009 5:44 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Maybe we should instead invest in a good seat for Cheat's bike.
Sounds like he spends a lot of time on it, what with trolling the high schools, the paper route, and trips to Kinko’s. Those banana seats are a bitch…
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 12, 2009 7:05 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
what happened to cheat's bum?
Does he have sympathy pains for Joe Mauer?
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Mar 12, 2009 8:17 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yep...so much that he let Punto stick it in his ass.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 3:33 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
=O
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Mar 12, 2009 5:32 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
So what happens to Owens?
DFA’d? Traded for a sandwich? He’s out of options . . .
Maybe they could just take him for a car ride and leave him in a forest preserve somewhere.
by KillaAK on Mar 12, 2009 8:57 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
LOL
So, if I am reading the two options correctly . . .
we can either a) keep dye or b) trade dye . . . is that you Phil Rogers?
by jc2313 on Dec 11, 2008 4:53 PM CST up reply recommended Unrec 1
by Where Triples Go to Die on Mar 12, 2009 9:01 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
if a slow dribbler is hit to 2B and noone is there to hear it
is there still a high reward?
I don’t want my beer to taste like fruit or honey. I want pussy to taste that way.
by thatshortkid on Mar 12, 2009 11:00 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
You're on a tear.
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 11:02 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
beckham.
Cashing checks and having sex.
by MarketMaker on Mar 12, 2009 1:00 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Who leads off?
A.J.
duh!
...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 9:20 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Cheat could be using this as a ploy to get Radiohead
to give him a visit.
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Mar 12, 2009 10:50 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
of course it's a ploy.
you and i know cheat was really just on a fucking bender in tijuana this weekend, got arrested by the mexican police, and finally returned to chicago last night. but this sympathy shit is good for the site. we gotta keep the storylines up or people will lose interest.
Join us at southsidesox.com in our "Page Views for The Cheat" campaign - to defeat butt cancer.
by larry on Mar 12, 2009 10:52 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
It would explain the shot in the hip
Who knows what he picked up from that transsexual tijuana hooker.
White Sox: Trying to roll a hard six.
by vince_ on Mar 12, 2009 11:10 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
rabies. i thought that was obvious from his "life bit me" statement.
Join us at southsidesox.com in our "Page Views for The Cheat" campaign - to defeat butt cancer.
by larry on Mar 12, 2009 11:12 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
He's doing the B12 shots that Elvis used to do
in order to compete with larry’s energy level/post-per-hour. Dr. Nick is Cheat’s chief sawbone.
the post wasn't for you. fuck off.
by larry on Feb 10, 2009 12:43 PM EST
by winningugly on Mar 12, 2009 12:59 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
close...

...and then some depressed fucked-cake eating.
by homesickalien on Mar 12, 2009 11:42 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
hrhrh hrrrhrhr hrrrhr rhhhhrh!
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Mar 12, 2009 11:55 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
so: did you read Preacher yet?
"I never had sex with that Governor" -
Roland Burris
by Chiburb on Mar 12, 2009 12:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
through book 5, iirc
took a break due to lack of funds
how much to the have to pay the Players -- that's what she said -- of the league like BA?
by colintj on Mar 12, 2009 12:50 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Butt cancer makes sense.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_cancer#Risk_factors
Pay close attention to risk factors #2 and #6.
by BridgeportJoe on Mar 12, 2009 2:26 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

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