I Like the White Sox: "I Don't Know is on Third" (First Pitch)

So I decided to do a weekly post on everything related to our favorite team, the Chicago White Sox. And I am not the "expert" as many people are around here. I just spit out my opinions (no matter how baseless) and we roll with it. I hope this is OK. So on with the show.

I was excited. I lost my shit. The Sox won 4 series in a row. Sure they may have gotten their clock cleaned 20-1 a few weeks ago, and Jake Peavy gave K-Dub a big FU, but 4 series in a row, including a sweep of the Royals!  Grienke ERA skyrockets to 1.10 thanks to the Sox!  Winning is fun! Shit yeah! Then a pitcher named Vin something or other stopped the train.

I can understand having difficulties against a pitcher you haven’t seen before, but every time the Sox get one, the lights go out. I was very scared and nervous about the game last night, until Pods got on base. Then I felt better. Too bad he had to stretch or something and got picked. After that, the train went into the dark tunnel. There was a chance of light but two mitt tush had to blow the candle out. It was lost and gone forever. Big win for the A’s and as luck would have it OC makes the final out on what could have been E-4.

Third base? WTF? Why when the Sox have a hole in their lineup, it turns into a pit. Crede, our clutch knight in shiny armor found a huge case of rust in the back leaves and ends up on all teams, those evil inhabitants of the terror dome up north, leaving us with Josh Fields. I thought he was on a great workout program with Joey Cora during the off season. What kind of workout program? Sweating to the freaking Oldies. Furthermore, out of all the numbers he could have picked, he takes number 7. Jerry Owens number. The number that is cursed forever. He could have taken 27, 77, even 107. Hell, there are no jerseys with 107. He could have been an originator. First jersey in baseball with three digits. This boy has no chance in getting seven more the way he’s been playing, but I guess we’ll leave the honeys to BA as usual. As far as two mitt tush goes, this is the shitbird we traded Swisher for. At least Swisher made us laugh once in a while in a ha ha way. Not a faux ha way like Wilson does. Jim over at Sox Machine pointed out, he has messed up 4 times out of 8 playing 3rd base. Perhaps he needs a new pair of goggles. Swimming goggles. Go take a swim in Lake Michigan my friend. Perhaps you can catch something in there. By the way, I think Jeff Cox can hit better than this clown. On a lighter note, watching the Cubs not only blow a no hitter but a 5-0 lead in 8th makes you feel better. Way to go Braves. I wonder if Vazquez was pitching and the Scrubs got 5 in the 5th. Don’t know and don’t care.

Any pitcher who doesn’t want to pitch on the White Sox is a stoner. Bottom line; we’re a contender for the division title. Which means 11 victories after that gets another WS. Peavy, stay in San Diego and pretend to be riding first class when you’re stuck in coach. Roy Oswalt, you’re still pissed we owned your ass in ’05, and you need to be a man and get over it. Stay in the juice box with your overpaid dinosaurs. They don’t deserve any of our pitchers, except the C&C rehab factory, and two mitt tush. Yes, he’s not a pitcher, but I don’t think I can stand seeing him in a Sox uniform for another day. How can we get rid of this guy? I don’t even think little league teams would want him. People who wear sport glasses are getting laser everywhere so they don’t even come close to looking like this bum. Sorry, got off topic. (I will do that a lot be warned.) If K-Dub is looking for a pitcher, K-Dub will get a pitcher. One who will be honored to come here and wear the uniform.

And last but not least, Frank Thomas. Should he come back? Yes. He can replace Walker as a hitting coach and bench player. I am all for originality. I am all for doing things different. Walker can be the Gatorade boy. He can keep the title, but we’ll have Frank teach people how to hit. This way, if we get into a fix, Frank can come to the plate and show people how to effectively strike out or hit a home run. It will be priceless. However he would have his work cut out for him when it comes to people like Lillibridge. After 5 minutes of trying to help this kid, the hurt would end up using him as a bat. In all seriousness, I think he should, like Griffey, finish his season with the team who he has spent the majority of his baseball life with. It’s the right thing to do. His number should be retired, but it shouldn’t be done at the cost of the team. We have the white, less dramatic version of Frank at DH right now. Either way, honor the man. Someone should have given him a phone call in 06. This is a great way to make up for it.

And having said that, remember to always call people and let them know you are going to shit on them because you have a better way of doing things. They will be upset, but you won’t have to call them an idiot afterwards.

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed.