Bobby Jenks Hates Us All And Drowns Puppies On Off-Days
by homesickalien on Sep 17, 2009 11:00 PM CDT
in White Sox Game Recaps
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I had just closed my tab at the Sodo Showbox bar and boasted to the bartender about what a lovely curveball Bobby Jenks could throw, when that very same Bobby Jenks hung two pitches belt-high over the plate, to two different Mariners; both of whom sent those pitches into left field.
Tie game in the 9th!
John Danks clearly does not know how to win a game.
In actuality, Danks pitched a gem and should have gotten the win. Over 8 innings of work, he only gave up 4 hits and 2 walks. A homer off the bat of Beltre was his only run, and it didn't come until the 7th inning. His off-speed pitches were simply vicious tonight. He threw 97 pitches; 63 of them for strikes.
In that same time frame, the Mariners were already through 5 pitchers and the fate of the game seemed sealed.
And then came Big Bad (in the literal sense this time) Bobby for the routine close with a 2-run cushion.
Since the boxscore reveals the nasty details and I know nobody likes reading, I'll skip the abstract inning-by-inning recap and interpretive dance that I had planned.
Rather, here are some things I took away from this game:
1. I like the cut of Kotsay's jib more and more each game. Kotsay had 4 hits in 6 ABs tonight, with 2 RBIs. His beard is good. And his wife is hot.
2. I would like to take back the "Thank you for Rios" I gave to Kenny last month. 'nuf said.
3. Getz had not 1, not 2, but 4 - FOUR - walks tonight (and a SB). And had a great play in the 10th which allowed us to cling to a shred of worthless hope that we might actually win.
4. Alexei made a brilliant play to his left on a hard-hit ball by catcher Adam Moore (his first ML at-bat) in the 3rd. The ball hit his glove and spun that skinny Cuban right around into throwing position. There was nothing lazy about this play.
5. Ichiro is extremely not bad. He recently earned his 200th hit of the season - making it 9 consecutive seasons in which he has hit 200 or more. You can celebrate his achievements with a collectible bat, for a mere $129.95 (plus S/H). If you care to purchase that, find the damn link yourself.
6. Surprising as it may seem, Pena did not blow this particular game in extras. Not surprisingly, Linebrink did.
7. If the game goes to the 14th inning in Seattle, it's probably best to just close the tab and walk home.
As a quick summary, Sox lost 4 out of 6 in Seattle this year (and probably should have lost one more of those). Overall record-wise, we are equally mediocre. But considering divisional opponents, it's sad to say that the Mariners were probably better than the Sox this year. Their defense is hard to beat and they've been able to take advantage of the luck that's come their way with help from nearly everyone on their roster - from Beltre to Rob Johnson and the 50 Wilsons they got over there.
And finally, to answer the question posed earlier today by Tdogg - what are the chances the Sox win the next 4 games? I have been slaving all night, crunching numbers and rounding decimals and fingering my abacus....and the answer is: 0%
However the hope for the play-offs is still alive and kicking! We can do it guys! Never give up!
Ah, just f*** it, dude.
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what happened is we got a B
BlatantSuckery
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
no mention of a loss to the worst line up the Sox have faced all season?
pssh.
and you call yourself an author.
"And when I called him, and asked him to stand up for me, I know I shocked the shit out of him" - Michael Jordan, on choosing David Thompson as his Hall of Fame sponsor.
Ah, why don't you go blow another game, Linebrink.
:)
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 17, 2009 11:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Also, I was alone in the bar for the majority of the game, but talked to a few randoms who wandered in throughout....
One of them was this guy. We got to talk a lot of baseball.
Another random patron gave me a chocolate bar, which I happily took (it’s the kind with the rice crunchies in it).
And after the 11th, when I knew I’d be hanging out for at least another inning, the bartender poured me a whiskey drink for free. He understood my pains.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
no, no, he understood that you have boobs.
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
Maybe it would seem that way, but he was just a real nice guy. Middle-aged, Mariners fan, appreciated my devotion. Since I was the only one there for most of the game, we talked a ton.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 17, 2009 11:14 PM CDT up reply actions
or maybe he was a nice guy because you have boobs.
"And when I called him, and asked him to stand up for me, I know I shocked the shit out of him" - Michael Jordan, on choosing David Thompson as his Hall of Fame sponsor.
see? boobs.
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
WHERE?!?!?!?
:::looks around frantically:::
"I would literally vote for a horse if one were put on the ballot against Stroger."
"I would literally have sex with a horse before voting for Stroger."
I guess you fuckers would know best. My boobs don't usually draw a crowd, though.
Especially not under my baggy Sox sweatshirt.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 17, 2009 11:24 PM CDT up reply actions
ah, but with the sweatshirt, they are now mystery boobs.
“boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!”
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Sep 17, 2009 11:48 PM CDT up reply actions 9 recs
I'll rec to that.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Sep 17, 2009 11:56 PM CDT up reply actions
LOL
last winter some friends came up from Savannah to see the Jaguars @ Bears game(they still have their season tickets, not a part of the 17K or what ever it is that didnt renew them). We went out drinking that saturday night, and they kept talking about how they loved the mystery of the winter clothing on the ladies.
“Your friends wont know you left with the chubby girl!”
or
“It might be great under there, it might be just good, you dont know, its great!”
stuff like that.
"And when I called him, and asked him to stand up for me, I know I shocked the shit out of him" - Michael Jordan, on choosing David Thompson as his Hall of Fame sponsor.
rec.
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 7:10 AM CDT up reply actions
That's freaking funny.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 8:40 AM CDT up reply actions
also, have i mentioned out clean that #30 is?
mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm.
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
so where do we go from here??
our baseball team sucks, our football team sucks, germanfest is over, swayze’s dead, I mean what happens next??
¡signature!
Staring out the window, waiting for Spring.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 17, 2009 11:17 PM CDT up reply actions
It's all downhill after Diwali season.
The 2009 White Sox....like a 40 degree day.
by Ozzie Montana on Sep 18, 2009 12:07 AM CDT up reply actions
Let's go do some crimes.
Let’s eat sushi and not pay.
"What do you mean?" he answered. "I love the Outfield!"
I blame society
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 10:00 AM CDT up reply actions
Otto?!? Otto parts?
No animals were harmed during the making of this comment.
by ChicagoPete on Sep 18, 2009 10:42 AM CDT up reply actions
Donny, who loved bowling.....
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 1:02 PM CDT up reply actions
we help Daley bribe the Olympic Committee for the 2016 Summer Olympics, duh.
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 7:12 AM CDT up reply actions
Bill Fucking Hall...
’nuff said
Best game I ever attended was the 163rd game last year.
by NorthSidePaulie on Sep 17, 2009 11:20 PM CDT reply actions
no, no, booby jenks and scott linebrink
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
BOOBS ON THE BRAIN
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
reply fial.
this night is over.
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
I think WU made a fanpost where you can take your one-track mind and actually seem 'on topic' with this.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 17, 2009 11:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Noticed you signed up for acmepackingcompany(Packers SBNation site)
the news articles are outstanding over there, but the commentary by the users is absolutely lifeless. It needs more personality. Here’s to hoping you bring a little pazaz to the site.
Oz+Coop+Hawk= baseball trinity
haha yeah!
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
'bout time you're on the front page girl!
Nice recap, I like your style.
there's nothing like being rubbed ----by pierzynskirules
(see! -boobs)
"And when I called him, and asked him to stand up for me, I know I shocked the shit out of him" - Michael Jordan, on choosing David Thompson as his Hall of Fame sponsor.
Thank you. As Cheat said, now I can no longer claim a reign of misogynistic tyranny.
So I’ll have to find something else to bitch about.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 9:08 AM CDT up reply actions
Blargh
blarghity blarghen blargh.
Time for some whiskey.
The Boogeyman cometh
by omnipotent grab on Sep 17, 2009 11:43 PM CDT reply actions
should have thrown in 'boobs' for good measure.
The Boogeyman cometh
by omnipotent grab on Sep 18, 2009 7:55 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
it was the "fingering my abacus", wasn't it
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Sep 17, 2009 11:53 PM CDT up reply actions
It only goes to two.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Sep 18, 2009 12:00 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I knew you'd enjoy that one.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 8:42 AM CDT up reply actions
Ozzie FTW!
Just saw this quote posted at BTF:
‘‘This is a tease, man,’’ he admitted. "It’s like when you have a girlfriend and you are kissing her all over the place and you get to the mambo, and she says no. That’s where we are right now. That’s the way we are. Like I say, it doesn’t matter what Detroit does. It only matters what we do.["]
What's "the mambo", Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
by The Actual El Guapo on Sep 18, 2009 12:24 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions 2 recs
I think he is talking about the girl in the bar with the oversized sweatshirt?
only you get home to open the package to complete disappointment.
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 7:23 AM CDT up reply actions
Needs moar pikturez
JK…nice recap…I went for a 5 mile run and came back just in time to see Linebrink in all his glory. The nail in the coffin is complete (even though it has been for like 3 weeks now).
Yeah, but we're like The Bride. We're about to channel strength and the wisdom of Yaz and punch our way out of this. No coffin can contain the 2009 White Sox!!!!!
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 9:13 AM CDT up reply actions
HSA front-paged.
I bet you frame this thread, kiddo. Nice work.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
Ozzie needs to bring in Howard Dean for a team pep talk
’’I’m only going to say two things,‘’ manager Ozzie Guillen said after another collapse. ’’I’m tired and I don’t have anything … it was 2½ hours of satisfaction and then 2½ hours of horse [crap] baseball. Go and ask them. I don’t have any more quotes, seriously. What the [expletive] am I going to say? [Are] they horse [crap]? Yes, they are.’’
Guillen then walked into the clubhouse and made a loud point of saying there would be a lot of lineup changes for today’s series opener against Kansas City, and, ‘’If they give up on me, I give up on them.’’
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
Killing Fields!
At 3B!
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
I'd like to start seeing some Flowers behind the plate, get him some experience
DH AJ for the last few weeks
Oz+Coop+Hawk= baseball trinity
It wasnt me this time larry!
read better.
"give the guy more than six days to get up to speed."
by larry on Sep 6, 2009 12:10 PM CDT
by Scotty Ballgame on Sep 18, 2009 9:02 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
From "Queen of the Right Rail" to "Editrix".
Cool.
"Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand."
— Leo Durocher
Yeah, how much did you have to pay Cheat for that?
:)
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 8:44 AM CDT up reply actions
Carp loudly and long enough,
and add Obama to the mix, and everything works out.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
Or....just have boobs.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 9:07 AM CDT up reply actions
and women say that is the reason they get passed over in society, pfft!
I am going to direct all of those feminist man-haters to this site…they’ll see that it isn’t always about boobs and mystery boobs!
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 10:10 AM CDT up reply actions
BTW, did you get the "Code of Conduct" manual yet,
and the “What You Have To Do To Keep Your Exalted Position” treatise? Mine said something about “hand action”.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 10:15 AM CDT up reply actions
wtf?
These games are crushing your soul, man, or possibly the lack of your wife giving you some except on your b-day.
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 10:19 AM CDT up reply actions
I'm here to help.
I enjoy mentoring, even when not asked. I am that type of giving human being, as opposed to someone who takes, takes, takes.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 10:21 AM CDT up reply actions
what would happen if you mentored everyone on this site???? hmmm...
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 10:29 AM CDT up reply actions
mully was following oney's tweets
basically said this team is garbage and the only thing they are good at is drinking.
jenks is officially garbage. we won’t get anything for him as his salary is about at the take-it-or-leave-it level.
mully is a sportradio host and newspaper reporter
oney is ozzie’s kid, who i believe has a job with the sox in some capacity.
no, i don't know how tweets work
i’m just figuring out twats. but find oney guillen’s twitter account.
I said that last season and urged us to trade him before he was completely worthless.
But noooooooooooooo.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 8:45 AM CDT up reply actions
i remember you saying that...
yeah, they road jenks too hard this year. NOT
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 10:21 AM CDT up reply actions
yup hes just awefull
Shingo Takatsu could have pitched a better 1 run 7 inning game last night.
Oz+Coop+Hawk= baseball trinity
DFA Danks
Clearly doesnt know how to finish games.
read better.
"give the guy more than six days to get up to speed."
by larry on Sep 6, 2009 12:10 PM CDT
by Scotty Ballgame on Sep 18, 2009 8:55 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
It's hard enough to watch is every day
but to BE THERE every day for a front row seat has to be unbearable. I’m surprised Ozzie hasn’t put his son in the lineup by now.
make that part of the "Great Peavy Day"
put all of the coach’s offspring in the lineup. Although who knows how old Cox’s kids might be…AARP?
Oz+Coop+Hawk= baseball trinity
Better idea
Put all the players wives out there.
read better.
"give the guy more than six days to get up to speed."
by larry on Sep 6, 2009 12:10 PM CDT
by Scotty Ballgame on Sep 18, 2009 8:51 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Did you even READ my first FP recap? I spent all night working on those numbers for you, Tdogg.
/sobbing
;)
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 9:40 AM CDT up reply actions
Geez Tdogg. Why didn't you think of her boobs?
Uh, I mean feelings.
read better.
"give the guy more than six days to get up to speed."
by larry on Sep 6, 2009 12:10 PM CDT
by Scotty Ballgame on Sep 18, 2009 9:50 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Lol
I’m sorry I missed that part for some reason. My apologies. I’m really beginning to despise this team. Only took 5 months huh?
"Oh well back to work"
pffft
I was all fired up about this core after the acquisitions, but the way they’re (not) closing out the season is really dampening my enthusiasm for next year.
No animals were harmed during the making of this comment.
by ChicagoPete on Sep 18, 2009 10:52 AM CDT up reply actions
I hate when all the helium's gone too, Pete.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 10:54 AM CDT up reply actions
We couldnt read your recap because we were looking at your boobs.
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 10:01 AM CDT up reply actions
i'm too sexy for this fanpost
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 9:59 AM CDT reply actions
This isn't a fanpost, honeybunny.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 10:01 AM CDT up reply actions
Honeybunny? How folksy...
what next… Dadgummit?
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 10:07 AM CDT up reply actions
then what is it?
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 10:14 AM CDT up reply actions
Smells like a game recap to me....
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 10:16 AM CDT up reply actions
Shoulda Baracked him and called him a jackass.
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 10:17 AM CDT up reply actions
I'm gonna let HSA finish but
Beyonce had one of the best game recaps of all-time!
read better.
"give the guy more than six days to get up to speed."
by larry on Sep 6, 2009 12:10 PM CDT
by Scotty Ballgame on Sep 18, 2009 10:20 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
how can this be a game recap, you never said the sox lost in the text
but i like how you kept the word count in check, kudos kiddo
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 10:18 AM CDT up reply actions
KW's 2009 Grade: D
swisher deal: F
Vazquez deal: B/INC
Viciedo: C
Colon: D
DeWayne Wise: F
Pods: A
Freddy: B
Pena/Allen deal: F
Alex Rios: F/INC
this is why i'm not too keen
on the trade Alexei idea.
What grade do you give for the Peavy trade?
Inquiring minds want to know
read better.
"give the guy more than six days to get up to speed."
by larry on Sep 6, 2009 12:10 PM CDT
by Scotty Ballgame on Sep 18, 2009 10:24 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I'd say INC on the Pena/Allen deal
I mean if Rios is INC then…
INC?
If Allen does nothing that still is probably an F.
by Grinder in Training on Sep 18, 2009 11:04 AM CDT up reply actions
No.
Nuthin’ from nuthin’ leaves nuthin’. (You gotta have somethin’…if you want to be with me.)
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 11:07 AM CDT up reply actions
Pena has been worse than nothing though.
by Grinder in Training on Sep 18, 2009 1:15 PM CDT up reply actions
If Pena gave up a run every single time he came to the mound.
The 2009 White Sox....like a 40 degree day.
by Ozzie Montana on Sep 18, 2009 2:03 PM CDT up reply actions
KW has to be drunk during the trade to be excused by GIT.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 11:15 AM CDT up reply actions
Well played old timer.
If the player does nothing, and the player we get in return costs us money and loses us games then yes.. I’d rather have nothing.
As long as the something is negative, the nothing is better.
by Grinder in Training on Sep 18, 2009 1:15 PM CDT up reply actions
that averages out to a "C-"
still passing. But you get these grade’s when you are out at the bar all night, drinking rum and cokes and emailing all your other GM buddies telling them that the shop is open…take one and take all.
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 10:23 AM CDT up reply actions
ummm
if you’re a school teacher, i feel sorry for your students
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 10:26 AM CDT up reply actions
How is something either a B, or incomplete?
What’s his GPA and class rank?
The 2009 White Sox....like a 40 degree day.
by Ozzie Montana on Sep 18, 2009 10:28 AM CDT up reply actions
it looks like a B now, but
ultimately we have to wait.
Way too soon to give a final grade for 2009...
We wont know if the big moves (peavy, rios) pay off or not till 2010.
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 10:28 AM CDT up reply actions
obviously
but it’s not looking great so far.
If you include the Wise roster move, why not include the Beckham and Getz roster moves?
How about the BA for Kotsay deal?
there's nothing like being rubbed ----by pierzynskirules
wise was so stupid
it belongs in a separate category.
One of the best moves of the year by any GM
Heck, the improvement to the wife talent pool was worth it… plus Kotsay is all “Grinder-y” .. except with talent.
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 10:48 AM CDT up reply actions
Wow
You sure judge quickly.
How exactly is Colon a D?
Viciedo – too early
Pena/Allen- too early
Rios- too early
"Oh well back to work"
see above
OK. lets talk about larry Himes’ 1986 performance.
I wrote a short mystery story for English class in Junior High in which Larry Hines turned out to be the killer at the end
I’m sure I still have it saved somewhere around here
¡signature!
*Himes
Yep, still have it!
“The date is Sunday, October 21, 1990. The place is Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh, where the Chicago White Sox have swept the Pirates in a four-game World Series. Jeff Torborg hears the phone ring in the joyful clubhouse. It’s Larry Himes, the Ex-General Manager of the White Sox who was recently fired by President Jerry Reinsdorf.”
What happens next, you ask?? Tune in next time!
¡signature!
D for Dyspeptic.
The 2009 White Sox....like a 40 degree day.
by Ozzie Montana on Sep 18, 2009 10:34 AM CDT up reply actions
IMHO, KW has done a fair job this year because
He managed to combine a competitive year and a rebuilding year into the same season- if the fracking players (Dye, rios, jenks) cant do their jobs you cant really lay the season at the feet of KW. My prelim grade on KW this year is a C+
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 10:37 AM CDT up reply actions
the only blame i place for the swisher deal is on swisher.
fuck him.
hey rios, you need to cinch it up, hunker down, bow your neck, bristle up, and be any kind of hitter. you're making me look like an idiot.
serve it up, bobby
I cannot answer any more questions for you today. I has wickeds gas from drink too manys redbull.
by Marlafar on Sep 18, 2009 10:43 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I wish I could tell where his left foot was pointed.
there's nothing like being rubbed ----by pierzynskirules
I believe it should be straight
up your a$$.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 10:57 AM CDT up reply actions
LOL, OPOS.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 12:33 PM CDT up reply actions
it says 'to serve seattle'
"ALL THESE WORLDS/ ARE YOURS EXCEPT/ EUROPA/ ATTEMPT NO
LANDING THERE/ USE THEM TOGETHER/ USE THEM IN PEACE"
Great recap.
Break down that glass ceiling!
(be sure not to burn yourself out)
"ALL THESE WORLDS/ ARE YOURS EXCEPT/ EUROPA/ ATTEMPT NO
LANDING THERE/ USE THEM TOGETHER/ USE THEM IN PEACE"
From one who knows.
HSA burns brightly. I worry when she hits the magic Jim Morrison/Hendrix/Joplin age of 27.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 10:58 AM CDT up reply actions
:) Don't forget Cobain @ 27.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 11:00 AM CDT up reply actions
and Chris Farley
“fat man in a little coat….” oops
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 11:04 AM CDT up reply actions
and mccartney
28IF
"ALL THESE WORLDS/ ARE YOURS EXCEPT/ EUROPA/ ATTEMPT NO
LANDING THERE/ USE THEM TOGETHER/ USE THEM IN PEACE"
science tells us
the brightest, hottest star burns the shortest time.
"ALL THESE WORLDS/ ARE YOURS EXCEPT/ EUROPA/ ATTEMPT NO
LANDING THERE/ USE THEM TOGETHER/ USE THEM IN PEACE"
Yeah... Only a few hundred million years rather than a few thousand million
Michelangelo lived to be a very old man.
HSA will do just fine, so long as she stops doing crank off a gold topped les paul…
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 11:39 AM CDT up reply actions
mmmmmmmmmmmgoldtoppedlespaulllllllllllll.......
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 11:45 AM CDT up reply actions
yep
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
she is stupid enough to microwave bacon.
"ALL THESE WORLDS/ ARE YOURS EXCEPT/ EUROPA/ ATTEMPT NO
LANDING THERE/ USE THEM TOGETHER/ USE THEM IN PEACE"
dont knock it til you tried it
"And when I called him, and asked him to stand up for me, I know I shocked the shit out of him" - Michael Jordan, on choosing David Thompson as his Hall of Fame sponsor.
I'm going to the game today
after doing a home visit in Calumet City, shitty town straight to shitty baseball team
Cal Shitty?
where the cops wait outside your door while you scream for help during a home invasion? Love that town!!!
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 12:05 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm opening the first SSS pub
Good afternoon, I’m only serving drinks today as I have had no time to get any food ready.
Beer – per pint
John Smiths – 65p
Copper Dragon – 70p
Leeds Best – 70p
Carlsberg – 50p
Stella – 75p
Spirits – (per 30cl shot)
Whiskey (Bells) – 60p
Gin (Bombay Sapphire) – 80p
Vodka – (Smifnoff) – 60p
Brandy – (henessey) – 80p
Wine:
(per bottle/glass)
Merlot: £4.50/75p
Chateau Jacques: £5.50/85p
Chablis: £4.75/80p
Cabernet Sauvignon: £5.75/90p
Soft
(per 100ml bottle)
Tonic: 35p
Biiter Lemon: 30p
Ginger Ale: 30p
Lemonade: 25p
Coke: 25p
conversion rate?
" Do you guys know people like you are the reason I wouldn’t come on for exstended periods of time. You rui the baseball blogging expieriance."
by trademaker on May 30, 2009 10:31 PM PDT
haha, nice...
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:19 PM CDT up reply actions
The hell is "smifnoff"?
Vodka with a cleft palate?
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 12:34 PM CDT up reply actions
I know. It's a joke.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 12:37 PM CDT up reply actions
what can i get for 2 half crowns
and 3 ha’pennies?
hey rios, you need to cinch it up, hunker down, bow your neck, bristle up, and be any kind of hitter. you're making me look like an idiot.
Maybe the Giants sang this song:
If you haven’t got a Penny, a ha’Penny will do. If you haven’t got a ha’Penny, then where is my PP, B (Tdogg)????
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 12:39 PM CDT up reply actions
Needs moar Buehrlot.
"take a left at Daryl Boston, stop when you hit the 100 years war." -egus
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 12:40 PM CDT up reply actions
no. it doesn't.
Buehrlo is no pooty goo. but… when my sister handed me the bottle, she had to explain, “Sorry. The cork is pushed up a little out of the bottle because I left it in my car when I was at work.”
So I’m not sure if you want to drink Buehrlo at all, but definatley don’t bake it before drinking it.
"...a mouth without grinders is like a mill without grindstone,"
-Don Quixote
by SkanchoDanza on Sep 18, 2009 12:59 PM CDT up reply actions
*Definitely
is a fun work to spell incorractily.
"...a mouth without grinders is like a mill without grindstone,"
-Don Quixote
by SkanchoDanza on Sep 18, 2009 1:01 PM CDT up reply actions
what, no miller lite?!
what about some MReds? I take a pack of those….
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 12:44 PM CDT up reply actions
give me a pack of Mayfairs and a glass of tullamore dew
I don’t drink scotch.
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 1:00 PM CDT up reply actions
I can deal with that...
…can I take my whiskey with me while I take a drag?
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 1:02 PM CDT up reply actions
I figured you would carry them...
…I only have a few smokes when I go out and drink. Otherwise, nadda.
I do like a good Irish Whiskey…
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 1:10 PM CDT up reply actions
one pint of stella coming up
5 is the maximum I will allow anyone to drink of the ‘old wifebeater’, I want to keep an orderly house
old peculiar nancy boy!
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:20 PM CDT up reply actions
bells and ginger
make it a double
"And when I called him, and asked him to stand up for me, I know I shocked the shit out of him" - Michael Jordan, on choosing David Thompson as his Hall of Fame sponsor.
damn
might be worth flying out there at those prices.
SSS Meet-up.
We can trade.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 12:50 PM CDT up reply actions
Can I have 5 stella then switch to John Smiths?
there's nothing like being rubbed ----by pierzynskirules
The Copper Dragon sounds really good...I'll give that a go.
My “citrus” beer this summer was Leine’s Summer Shandy…awfully good.
I’ll try the Copper Dragon, but my tastebuds are definitely moving toward the Octoberfest offerings…namely, Sprecher and Sam Adams…mmmmmm.
"One more game and then we can blow this son of a b@#$* up!" - Hawk Harrelson on his thoughts regarding the Metrodome
I guess if I'm there, I could whip up a sandwich or two.
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 12:54 PM CDT up reply actions
(MM's head jerks toward the computer screen.)
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 12:55 PM CDT up reply actions
Followed by other, more nubile body parts.
The 2009 White Sox....like a 40 degree day.
by Ozzie Montana on Sep 18, 2009 2:08 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
No pinot noir?
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
bring a MacMurray Ranch, Russian River Valley
there's nothing like being rubbed ----by pierzynskirules
Am I allowed to drive into pedestrians after I'm served?
by Grinder in Training on Sep 18, 2009 1:16 PM CDT up reply actions
"what do you mean 'left side of the road'?"
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Sep 18, 2009 1:17 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
I believe drunk driving is actually encouraged across the pond
"One more game and then we can blow this son of a b@#$* up!" - Hawk Harrelson on his thoughts regarding the Metrodome
I say we all get sloshed
and overtake the queen!
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 1:24 PM CDT up reply actions
SSS Hooligans!
"One more game and then we can blow this son of a b@#$* up!" - Hawk Harrelson on his thoughts regarding the Metrodome
a copper dragon and a tullamore dew, if you'd be so kind
if the only whiskey available is scotch, then a brandy.
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Sep 18, 2009 1:16 PM CDT up reply actions
3 Bells and a ginger ale, if you please
...take your hobbit circle jerk to another thread
by larry on May 18, 2009 8:58 PM PDT
no Flying Dog In Heat?
get on it plz, youd have a customer for life
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
was just over on that side of the pond
and i definitely didn’t see any prices that cheap, sign me up!
"...but the devil lives inside this kid, I swear it. It rises out of him in a mist, this baby-faced defiant wrathful version of Pat Kane, escapes his bodily confines to perform satanic miracles all over the offensive zone. The only thing more fearsome than that assist was the keep-in preceding it. The only thing more unholy than his face is his black magic." GMH
That beer list needs a serious expansion.
No Pabst? fer chris’ sake
The Boogeyman cometh
by omnipotent grab on Sep 18, 2009 3:56 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Where the hell is Old Style?
The hell? And I don’t want to hear any North Side crap.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
I know you remember this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o83xxWCel8g
there's nothing like being rubbed ----by pierzynskirules
I sure remember the jingle.
Not the black and white.
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
I seem to have very demanding customers
if you don’t like the selection, go fucking drink somewhere else
Not sure if this has been discussed...
…but there has got to be something wrong with JD…physical, mental, emotional…whatever. No way his skills drop off so dramatically without there being an issue.
And WTF with Rios? Did KW just get screwed on the deal or is he going to come around. He has basically become an automatic out.
"One more game and then we can blow this son of a b@#$* up!" - Hawk Harrelson on his thoughts regarding the Metrodome
Or automatic 2 outs.
fucker.
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 1:18 PM CDT up reply actions
I hope you're right
he needs to work on his mechanics…fucker can’t hit a breaking ball to save his life.
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 1:22 PM CDT up reply actions
he looks like '07 JD
i thought he was done after that. it’s a lot harder than “oh he’s got to be injured”.
2009 is just 2007 in 2008's clothing.
Tonight's lineup should interesting
I figure Dye/Rios will grab some bench. Might see Flowers DH or catch (with AJ DH’ing)with Pods in CF, Kotsay in RF and Q in LF. MB better throw ground balls.
by Duck99 on Sep 18, 2009 1:46 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
wise and castro, no Q! or flowers?
WTF….Ozzie has folded. (I can’t blame him though)
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Sep 18, 2009 2:10 PM CDT up reply actions
I appreciate the energy, HSA.
The end of this season has been difficult to digest without throwing up. So, way to be. Way to inject something new, Cheat.
(do what you will with that last statement, I don’t have the energy to de-innuendo-ize it… you immature assholes.)
"...a mouth without grinders is like a mill without grindstone,"
-Don Quixote
by SkanchoDanza on Sep 18, 2009 1:34 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
hehe. Thanks, Carl.
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 1:43 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm Earl Scheib,
and I will de-innuendo any post, any blog, for just 99.95!!!!
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 4:09 PM CDT up reply actions
Ozzie Jr. tweets
“Today might be the beginning of a new White Sox era” whatever that means…..
there's nothing like being rubbed ----by pierzynskirules
I didn't see any post-game press or interviews....did Ozzie do something crazy last night?
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 1:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Nothing out of the ordinary, just called them horseshit and said changes would be made.
there's nothing like being rubbed ----by pierzynskirules
everyone in the starting lineup is sober?
by Duck99 on Sep 18, 2009 1:50 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
from the A's
"...a mouth without grinders is like a mill without grindstone,"
-Don Quixote
by SkanchoDanza on Sep 18, 2009 2:00 PM CDT up reply actions
For thecip and other oooohooohooribe lovers....
The gent at McCovey Chronicles, Natto, is illustrating the ‘little Giants’ …
Here is lil Uribe:
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 1:47 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
are you kidding, check out the size of them love handles
mercy!
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:22 PM CDT up reply actions
So cute, how can you accuse him of murder?
The 2009 White Sox....like a 40 degree day.
by Ozzie Montana on Sep 18, 2009 2:09 PM CDT up reply actions
that's awesome
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:21 PM CDT up reply actions
profundo!
brndnprkns: I'm pretty sure the "badass" value of your life is closer to Gigli than The Dark Knight
by whitesoxmatt on Sep 18, 2009 2:24 PM CDT up reply actions
Ask Skanberg...
a full 4 fingers and a thumb are damn hard to do in cartoon-opia.
Screw you, monkeyboy, Imma goin Home!
by DrEmilioLizardo on Sep 18, 2009 4:11 PM CDT up reply actions
this, in plastic form for my desk, would be highly desired and sought after
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Sep 18, 2009 4:12 PM CDT up reply actions
I know you do, colin. /sniffle
I do too.
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 5:04 PM CDT up reply actions
wait, he did the outfield too. how soon we forget our legends.....
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Sep 18, 2009 5:05 PM CDT up reply actions
ha. I thought about posting him too, but I liked Fatty Boombatty's.
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 5:07 PM CDT up reply actions
Or I should say....I miss Boombatty more than Legend.
"boobs are boobs, but the mystery boobs could be anything! even boobs!" - tsk
by homesickalien on Sep 18, 2009 5:10 PM CDT up reply actions
Rios
It is only 97 plate appearances, meaning Rios is about three trips away from some Chicago-based columnist writing a piece proclaiming Rios as a player unable to adapt to the large market atmosphere.
Honestly it’s pretty hard to get worked about any of the numbers involved. None of them are good, none are encouraging, but remember John Smoltz and all the talk about 40 innings worth of work? Well Joe Mauer endured a 79 plate appearance streak that lasted from mid-August through early September in which he had an OPS of .804. In late April, Derek Jeter began a 84 plate appearance streak with a .643 OPS. Mark Teixeira’s first 95 plate appearances resulted in an .189/.358/.351 line.
I cannot definitively state that every single batter in the majors goes through streaks of 75-100 plate appearances where they experience what many label as slumps. However those were the first three players I checked and those are three very good batters whom each experienced a similar phenomenon just this season.
Poor timing? Absolutely. A sign of pressure getting to Rios? Probably not.
you da man.
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Sep 18, 2009 2:37 PM CDT up reply actions
no, you da man
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:40 PM CDT up reply actions
does not show up in search?
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:49 PM CDT up reply actions
yeah, can't find it
did he threaten to kill somebody, do tell?
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:58 PM CDT up reply actions
EArcella19 is da man
at least SSS is attracting the harmless IQ challenged instead of psychopaths (i’m thinking of the ex-soldier who talked about wiring cars or something like that)
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 3:10 PM CDT up reply actions
for the avoidance of doubt/confusion, before anyone starts emailing abuse@sbnation.com again
he wasn’t banned. nor, to my knowledge, were the fanpost(s) removed by anyone other than him.
sorry, larry, my bad, thanks for providing clarity
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 3:45 PM CDT up reply actions
That's what the Chinese say
after some sorry-ass dissident gets hauled off to parts unknown.
CHINA!
We’re a pack of a-holes. And my tradition of contributing absolutely nothing to this site... continues.
by winningugly on Sep 18, 2009 3:48 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
wait, you mean even great players experience slumps?
i’m shocked and, quite frankly, i don’t believe it. those players have a superior moral fabric and, therefore, are impervious to the frailties to which the white sox are prone.
it's a shitty article, but your pointed sarcasm
could definitely be pointed to many on SSS
kdub receives a ‘F’ for this acquisition
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:43 PM CDT up reply actions
you da man ;)
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:46 PM CDT up reply actions
whoosh 'brah'
i'm alex rios' last fan
by onlysoxfaninboston on Sep 18, 2009 2:50 PM CDT up reply actions
slumps that coincide with a change of scenery have an element of change of scenery.
… and slumps.
"...a mouth without grinders is like a mill without grindstone,"
-Don Quixote
by SkanchoDanza on Sep 18, 2009 2:51 PM CDT up reply actions
Funny snippet from Simmons
Funny, right? It’s fun to make jokes about Jake Delhomme. Only seven sports jobs open themselves up to ongoing ridicule, and — in a worst-case scenario — genuine venom. The first two? Coach and general manager. The third? Baseball closer. The fourth? Hockey goalie. The fifth? Kicker. The sixth? Jay Mariotti. The seventh? Quarterback. You cannot afford to lose the confidence of your fans with any of these jobs. The sequence of emotions is the same every time: disappointment, uneasiness, a loss of trust, bitter disappointment, constant fear, a shattering of trust and then, finally, venom.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmonsnflpicks/090918
is anybody else watching the shefield united vs shefield wednesday match?
its pretty crazy. GREAT game to watch
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
ahem - add a few f's
But if you self-loathing- sad-bastard-fuckhammers see that as "appropriate", well, then… I suggest you go fuck yourself while nick swisher looks on, completely unfucked. - SkanchoDanza
last i checked
this wasnt www.soccerisforpeoplewhocantcatch.com
so no.
"And when I called him, and asked him to stand up for me, I know I shocked the shit out of him" - Michael Jordan, on choosing David Thompson as his Hall of Fame sponsor.
oh man thats even worse than being called Linebrink.
/runs off cryiung
"And when I called him, and asked him to stand up for me, I know I shocked the shit out of him" - Michael Jordan, on choosing David Thompson as his Hall of Fame sponsor.
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