First off METRODOME, You suck! Good riddings you astro turf piece of crap, with your kitchen garbage bags as a roof. You big piece of shit. You have housed some of the players that we love to hate, but have to respect some times because they play well. You know that their manager does a good job, and they find a way to win win win. You know what else I hate about the Twins? I remember their old school logo with the two ball players and it says Twins Win on the top. I used to think there was something wrong with those two guys. Then I realized it was the whole team. The T & C on their hat means total crap! Not twin cities!
To the Cubs on our date not with destiny today: You suck too! You think you are the pride and joy of this city. Let's be honest. We know what your team is about. The old guy managing your team right into the toilet, and then he says he has no answers for the media. Soriano with his hop, skip, jump, and injure. Zambrano with his anger, and board game with his racial paranoia. What a season for Cub fans huh? It has been more like a tabloid over in the north side than a baseball season. Anyways, just to keep the comedy show going, I am pushing for Carlos Torres to get his first major league win over you guys, Beckham hitting another homer, and Thome jumping on a plane just to hit one off you shitbirds! You know what the C on their hat means? It doesn't mean Chicago or Cubs, it means crap with a capital C.
To the Tigers, yeah you in first now: You're so good. Bless you boys. That's right, that's what you are boys! And once we get our shit together, we are going to waste you. Well, maybe it’s too late for that. But I am still blasting Don't Stop Believing even though we’re supposedly out of this thing. Hey placebo Polanco, you think you're going to be able to catch a line drive from AJ in the infield? You'll have a better chance of catching swine flu, which I don't wish on anyone. Except Michael Vick. That's a different story. Hey Verlander, why don't you shave that silly looking moustache of yours? Don't worry, one of our hitters will when they hit your 98 MPH fastball. You know, you're lucky there's no C on your hat!
To the Chicago media: Can we please stop being gay and calling the Thome/Contreras trade "White Flag II?" This isn't a white flag trade. We all know there is no way the Sox win the World Series. So Thome went to a team that could possibly do so, and we got what looks to be a decent pitcher for Contreras? Can't be much worse than Count. Did Kenny throw in the towel? Maybe so, however if we go on a run, we can still win the division only to get knocked out in the ALDS. So shut the fuck up media. Go make fun of the Cubs some more. After all, I guess Milton Bradley crying about racism is front page news right you stoners? You know what the C on both of your papers...yeah we all get the idea.
To the Dodgers: Yep, we had to buddy up to you at Camelback Ranch and you looked out for your Dodger fans and made the prices as high as the smog rate in your fine city. We had to endure the saga of Manny as if you would sign him or not, and then how he takes woman pills with steroids. You came into our stadium and we raised the prices for you guys for some reason. Well now its payback time. You better win the WS so our boy Jim Thome can come back to the White Sox next year with a ring, because lord knows we're not getting one this year.
All I can say is yesterday's game is still in my mind because I did not expect that to happen. Hopefully, we can do something here, and we'll have something else to talk about. Perhaps we need to have another meet up. All I know is win or lose, I love the White Sox. They are the best. Even when they screw up, they are still my team. Hopefully we can see an unlikely miracle happen, but you know how these things go kids.
Have a nice day.