Hitting Goes Wanting, Outlook Not All Bleak

      Once the White Sox actually do something (rather ‘when’ they do something) we’ll have something real to discuss, but I need something to do in between ripping DS9 DVDs into my computer. I have deliberately left out trade scenarios (with one exception) because it’s just too complicated and beyond pointless to try and come up with trade after trade. This isn’t fantasy baseball, and we are all smart enough to know we’re not coming away with Lincecum for Mitchell, Danks, Morel and Beckham.

While observing the line-up deficiencies the White Sox have over the last two days, it is easy to forget that they’re actually set up for at least a .500 season next year (unless it all goes to hell). Whatever my, or anyone else’s, beefs with Kenny Williams may be, he has put together an enviable starting rotation. Yes, the most expensive, biggest-named guy on the staff won’t start the season, but I can think of 29 other Major League clubs that would love to have Jon Danks, Gavin Floyd (yes, he’s still got BHB), Edwin Jackson and Mark Buerhle for sure and be looking for fifth starters.

Now, we do need a fifth starter. So following our previously established patter of behavior, I’m going to list the GAPING HOLE THAT MUST BE FILLED, FIXED, STUFFED AND PREP’D for the 2011 season, some possible free agent acquisitions and my personal rankings of said options.

Hole: 5th starter. Options: Chris Sale, KenWo’s Top, Erik Bedard, Brandon Webb, Cliff Lee, Carl Pavano, Aaron Harang, Ben Sheets.

Chris Sale (N/A): Let’s get this out of the way. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. He’s not even 22. He was in college this time last year. He’s got 2 (maybe) pitches. He weighs 65 pounds. Perhaps. I like Sale (he, after all, clearly attends the B.G. Church of Jewelry), think he has good potential and was one of the better stories of ’10. But he’s not. Ready to. Start. At the Major. League. Level.

Freddy Garcia (Tie for 4): NO ONE here, no one, expected El Sweaty to be as good as he was in 2010. I don’t care what you say: no one thought he’d be that good or reliable. In taking a little closer look at his numbers, what I’m most impressed by is the stable BABIP and LOB% right in line with is career averages, considering how much he’s lost off the fastball. Thank you for 2005, Freds. But I’m not just going to make you the 5th starter, you have to earn it. Sign him to a similar deal as last year, make him beat someone out in Spring Training. Someone like….

Erik Bedard or Brandon Webb (Tie for 4): Similar yet different (black yet white, cold yet warm) stories, both are that ‘established player coming off injury/former star trying to make a comeback’ story. Bedard had an amazing 2007 in Baltimore before being traded to Seattle for Adam Jones in 2008 and then couldn’t stay in one piece, while Webb won the ’06 Cy Young (you could argue he should have won the next 2 as well) before breaking himself in 2009 and not pitching in 2010. Given how good, frankly great, the Sox are at keeping players healthy, I think the best thing to do is as follows: sign Freddy, Bedard and Webb to minor league deals and have them fight it out for the fifth slot in the rotation. The Cubs are sniffing around Webb too while Bedard is just sort of out there (literally and figuratively), but this strikes me as the most practical, cost efficient solution.

Cliff Lee (1): See yesterday and Carl Crawford.

Carl Pavano (2): The 2nd best pitcher on this year’s market, he’d be worth signing just to get him away from those polite bastards up north (but he’s gotta lose the hipster mustache). Same issue as usual this off season, $$$. That old Wu-Tang saying was rarely more applicable (but really, when isn’t a Wu-Tang quote applicable?). By WAR, he was actually better in ’09 than ’10, and going forward he’s probably due for a slight BABIP regression (.285 in ’10, .308 for career) and the same for LOB% (74% in ’10, 66.4% ‘08-’09). He’s better than a pure a fifth starter, but since he won’t be here anyway, let’s just hope someone pays a ton of money for him other than them. Or that if they do, he goes all New York Yankee on their asses.

Ben Sheets (7): Though he has better pure stuff than the last option, the question is really, "What’s the point anymore, Ben?" The Mark Prior of Milwaukee, he managed to rid Billy Beane of $10 million last season (and I always like people who make Beane look a right bloody idiot) but got hurt (I know, right?!). I’d rather roll the dice on Bedard/Webb.

Aaron Harang (3): Harang wishes to harangue Father Time for the days of 2005/06/07. I have him third, but it’s really close to Freddy/Webb/Bedard territory. Seeming to have suckage/injury issues for the better part of 3 years, the impression I get from his numbers is that he’s in for a bit of a bounce-back in 2011. Both FIP and xFIP were both 1.3 runs lower than ERA, LOB% dropped over 6% from the previous year and BABIP was some 30% above career the career norm. If he makes anything close (defined as -$6 million) to the 2010 $12 mill, I’m dating Scarlett Johansson. **12:55pm: I flipped Harang and the hodgepog out of a belief that he's more likely to stay healthy over Webb/Bedard.

We’re left with three distinct categories: guy who would certainly help but we can’t afford (1, 2), guys that really can’t hurt, could help (3, 4, 4, 4) and "Um, no, thanks, I’m good" (7). Thoughts?