FanPost

I blame Ozzie Guillen


Hey all,

 

Back in country from a long trip and we are sub .500, losing series to the Royals and Cleveland at home and at Kaufmann?  Is confirmation bias bias confirmed yet?  I took a look at some of the past game threads and conversations and wanted to catch up as much as possible.

Can't make the meth up, not even in spirit.

If David Simon was a baseball player, he'd be an All Star. Treme though is his official slump.

Yes

No

Jenks should keep closing for trade value and then be stretched out over the offseason by Coop ala C.J. Wilson if he stays.

Walker should be cliffed.

Jello with partial dalliances toward citrus fruits

 

Now, on to the more important business.  I am starting a campaign and I hope you would join. Ladies and Gentlemen, and Where Triples Go To Die, "I blame Ozzie Guillen."

I blame Ozzie Guillen for the White Sox being terrible and from the looks of gamethreads, almost unwatchable.

I blame Ozzie Guillen for Jim Thome playing on the Twins and for the Twins leading the division.

I blame Ozzie Guillen for Gordon Beckham looking lost

I blame Ozzie Guillen for Jermaine Dye's unemployability

I blame Ozzie Guillen for the federal deficit

I blame Ozzie Guillen for Arizona's border law

I blame Ozzie Guillen for a slight dizzy feeling I've had ever since we landed.

I blame Ozzie Guillen for MLB.tv's annoying habit of losing video feeds in the ninth inning.

I blame Ozzie Guillen for the endless whining to have a third child

I blame Ozzie Guillen for KenWo's constant prediction fulfillment

I blame Ozzie Guillen for World Hunger

I blame Ozzie Guillen for Paul McCartney having ever performed with Wings.

I blame Ozzie Guillen for preaching small ball in the AL's smallest ball park

I blame Ozzie Guiilen for preaching small ball in the AL

I blame Ozzie Guillen for inspiring a post that aims to rival HSA for word length

I blame Ozzie Guillen for making me miss Ryan Sweeney though he played sparingly and has no slugging rating.

 

So please join me. If there is anything wrong in your life, it is likely Ozzie Guillen's fault. Feel free to join this campaign and the feel-good emotions of scape-goating the partially but primarily responsible can be all yours for free.

 

This message was paid for by no one and supported by the "Ozzie must go" foundation.  Won't you join today?

 

It's good to be back, and I know most of you didn't notice I had left before you throw it down.

JustJC.

P.S. I blame Ozzie Guillen for my first return post sucking.

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