Site Note
After all those jokes about butt cancer, Cheat really did break his pelvis. Site updates (from me) will be limited in the next two days as I'm loaded up on drugs and between doctors appointments.
The good news is, the content on the site was stellar this week. And now that I'll spend much of the next month, and perhaps a large chunk of the summer, stuck in Mom's basement, I should have nothing better to do than write and masturbate. So expect to see this site to return to full strength soon.
over 1 year ago
The Cheat
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another site note.
don’t trust Grinder in Training when he suggests you participate in something called “the cuervo games”. i saw this for what it was – an opportunity to decapitate SSS’ leadership – and declined. the cheat – the innocent and naive cheat – fell for it. literally.
there aim wasn't good.
i’m not commenting on their professionalism. remember, the terrorists only need to be successful once.
god, you'll try anything, with any poster, once, huh?
"I just want people to remember there's a guy in between these things."
by Teahenny Penny on Jun 7, 2010 2:32 AM CDT up reply actions
You fell off the barstool and broke your pelvis?
Christ Almighty. You make me proud to be a SSS fan.
when i was in 9th grade i was the only one in my entire boys choir to understood my teacher
by BoeJouma on May 11, 2010 5:46 PM EDT
Dont trust GiT fo anything.
Oz on Swish HR celeb: "That's the way he is. Good for him, enjoy it. I wish he could do it for me, he was a very horseshit player for me.''
Sounds like he tried to slip a dick in your ass or something.
sox bumboclot me bloods
by homesickalien on Jun 7, 2010 9:52 AM CDT up reply actions
Agree to disagree there...
Tried makes it sound like I wasn’t successful.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 10:29 AM CDT up reply actions
Obviously he meant slip...
That was the joke.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 10:36 AM CDT up reply actions
I'm just disappointed you passed
Was hoping to kill two birds with one stone. You got lucky this time.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 6:36 AM CDT up reply actions
i gotta tell you...
when i read the cheat broke his pelvis, i was sure larry’s jaw was shattered.
by mick10 on Jun 7, 2010 6:54 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Accurate or not, this deserves a rec.
when i was in 9th grade i was the only one in my entire boys choir to understood my teacher
by BoeJouma on May 11, 2010 5:46 PM EDT
Good lord man, that's awful. Sorry to hear it.
"ive taken time to make sure this was tpyo free" - BoeJouma
that's awful, man. i can't imagine. good luck.
try to make the best of it. perhaps a hobby? (masturbation isn’t a hobby.)
maybe mix in rosetta stone or mls or bloomberg in between SSS and youporn.
you won’t have to turn off your precious cpu and you won’t have to worry about chafing. (scuff dick)
Cashing checks and having sex.
I signed up for Netflix for the first time a few days before the methup
so, in reality, that’s what I’ll be doing — at least for a couple weeks
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
SouthSideSox on Facebook
just started using it myself
if you have a wii to run it through, it makes days go by a lot quicker
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
yeah... been using it
gonna charge through a bunch of documentaries and foreign films that I otherwise would have never seen
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
SouthSideSox on Facebook
i got netflix a few years ago to catch up on the HBO series i was out of the loop on.
the watch instantly is also solid to see some classics that you might otherwise never see.
i’d prolly never rent most of the hitchcock catalog, but netflix allowed me to watch a bunch of them.
the first few months is a honeymoon. it’s like a new gym membership. you’ll be telling everyone about how great it is.
by fall, you’ll be tripping over your untouched copy of the Transporter 3 blu-ray.
Cashing checks and having sex.
i've been watching a lot of kurosawa
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
Damn it! I was told it was an art film, about prison atrocities...
Four weeks in and I’m bitter as shit- Teahenny Penny
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jun 7, 2010 12:53 AM CDT up reply actions
This is your reveal?
"I just want people to remember there's a guy in between these things."
by Teahenny Penny on Jun 7, 2010 2:35 AM CDT up reply actions
I plowed through the last days of WW II on Netflix recently.
We are in the middle of MI-5 and Rescue Me
"mark kotsay had 9 LOB tonight. they should shoot him in the face in front of his kids." by MM June 1st
by South Side Expat on Jun 6, 2010 11:38 PM CDT up reply actions
I strongly recommend Deep Water.
It’s extra good. Really.
"I just want people to remember there's a guy in between these things."
by Teahenny Penny on Jun 7, 2010 2:34 AM CDT up reply actions
If you can afford to not have a life for another week or so
You’ll need the Watch Instantly tracker.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2k92cK/www.thenowhereman.com/netflix/
"Boozer's dumb ass jumped. So I dunked on his ass."-Joakim Noah
by Ozzie Montana on Jun 7, 2010 11:25 AM CDT up reply actions
When do we start the optimistic jokes that at least the Sox aren't getting their asses kicked as badly as Cheat?
"wordy and overly verbose."
by larry on Jul 3, 2009 3:43 PM CDT
by Black Sox Baseball on Jun 6, 2010 10:41 PM CDT reply actions
oh and SBN Chicago has officially launched
I’m sure I’ll be more involved there as well in the near future.
Your right-rail content will also be highlighted, as the best (topical) FanPosts from each will receive more exposure in the form of links
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
SouthSideSox on Facebook
Huh, So Northwestern Womens Lacrosse team is like a dynasty.
Good front page content ya got there.
"mark kotsay had 9 LOB tonight. they should shoot him in the face in front of his kids." by MM June 1st
by South Side Expat on Jun 6, 2010 11:43 PM CDT up reply actions
an army of cubs writers are writing about all of chicago
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
super fucking fantastic
and lord knows they’re so good at arranging those 26 idiosyncratic symbols
I'd rather have Rios steal 50 bases than hit 50 home runs. I want production.
I already gave up when there was a "Top 5 Chicago athletes" and Derrick Rose wasn't on the list.
"Boozer's dumb ass jumped. So I dunked on his ass."-Joakim Noah
by Ozzie Montana on Jun 7, 2010 11:05 AM CDT up reply actions
The man deserves more than "also considered"
I was merely being cheeky, seeing as how he had the disclaimer of “at this very moment.”
And who the hell still likes Brian Urlacher?
"Boozer's dumb ass jumped. So I dunked on his ass."-Joakim Noah
by Ozzie Montana on Jun 7, 2010 11:10 AM CDT up reply actions
i do, when healthy
This is not early panic, it’s continued disgust with a situation we didn’t like to begin with. - Grinder in Training
Ok, I forgot to include "popular"
My very important point still stands on meaningless list.
"Boozer's dumb ass jumped. So I dunked on his ass."-Joakim Noah
by Ozzie Montana on Jun 7, 2010 11:22 AM CDT up reply actions
He was "considered", but lost out to someone not actually on a Chicago team.
If that's all there is my friend, then let's keep dancing...
here you go
http://chicago.sbnation.com/2010/6/6/1503196/chicago-top-5-most-popular
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
wow....
This is not early panic, it’s continued disgust with a situation we didn’t like to begin with. - Grinder in Training
Well it's popular.. not most talented
I don’t know if he’s actually that wrong. If you asked a casual fan of each team who their favorite player is he’s probably not far off.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 11:19 AM CDT up reply actions
true
i would think kaner would be above buff, but its a subjective piece so no need to dissect. i just dislike his work very much, i ’spose.
This is not early panic, it’s continued disgust with a situation we didn’t like to begin with. - Grinder in Training
Oh.. I can't stand the guy
I’m not going to rip on him when I don’t think he’s wrong though.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 11:22 AM CDT up reply actions
it's more like
who gives a fuck? i assume “lots of people” is the actual answer if SBN is launching this shit. but when i think of popular bloggers, i can’t think of any who are reproducing that kind of obvious crap. there’s some niche filled. i have no idea what niche this fills.
I'd rather have Rios steal 50 bases than hit 50 home runs. I want production.
People who don't want to visit 4 team-centric blogs and just want one site to aggregate all content
Assuming each blog editor keeps up and posts all the quality Fanposts/Fanshots, I could see it being a useful tool.
"Boozer's dumb ass jumped. So I dunked on his ass."-Joakim Noah
by Ozzie Montana on Jun 7, 2010 11:27 AM CDT up reply actions
it looks like the point of the site
is produce original content. the blogs are pushed to the bottom and there’s have bylines and shit everywhere. there are AP style game recaps. it looks like what i remember espn chicago or whatever looking like. and i have no idea who that actually interests.
I'd rather have Rios steal 50 bases than hit 50 home runs. I want production.
lol...
Love how for Cubs fans it says “(Also considered: Starlin Castro, Tyler Colvin)”
Those poor Cubs fans will get behind anyone new that appears to have a shred a talent, nevermind how many games they’ve played at the MLB level: Derrek Lee? pssssh. Old. Soto? Nope. Lilly? Hell no. Marmol? Garbage. Soriano? Ramirez? Ass. Donkey Ass…. But Castro and Colvin??? Now THOSE are some guys we can get behind!
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 11:39 AM CDT up reply actions
Lee and Ramirez are terrible this year. Should we have been yelled at for getting abnormally happy about Beckham last season?
"Boozer's dumb ass jumped. So I dunked on his ass."-Joakim Noah
by Ozzie Montana on Jun 7, 2010 11:43 AM CDT up reply actions
In hindsight, maybe.
But performance on the field doesn’t matter for Bears fans (according to him) nor Buehrle (for Sox fans)
Buehrle is terrible this year, and yet there he is. On the list. Urlacher hardly played last year. There he is.
My point is that according to him Cubs fans will get behind anyone that’s doing good at the moment, and dump whomever did well for them in the past (Lee & Ramirez have been exceptionally good) out the window. Maybe this is actually true of Cubs fans.
What about the others I mentioned? Soriano is having a career revival. Marmol is spectacular. Soto has been okay. Lilly decent. Castro has been there not even 3 weeks and people are considering him the second coming. Colvin too. Good lord.
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 12:00 PM CDT up reply actions
who would you honestly say other than urlacher?
forte slumped last year. hester hasn’t been the same since learning the playbook. cutler can’t be it after last season either.
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
Lance Briggs?
"Boozer's dumb ass jumped. So I dunked on his ass."-Joakim Noah
by Ozzie Montana on Jun 7, 2010 12:24 PM CDT up reply actions
You're helping my point. Performance doesn't seem to matter
to the average Bears fan, according to him. Urlacher is up there based on what he’s done in the past. Well, Cutler had some pretty decent years before, and he plays QB, one of the most popular and visible positions on the field. Forte had a great rookie season and fell apart behind a not so good offensive line.
But if we’re going to mention players that performed exceptionally on the field then Lance Briggs has to be mentioned. Zack Bowman? Charles Tillman?
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 12:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Maybe the Bears should try playing Ozzie ball.
Thanks alot for these ridiculous ticket prices, 2005.
by ScottyPods Ver2.0 on Jun 7, 2010 1:17 PM CDT up reply actions
Besides, U-God, you and Montana appear to be missing my point.
According to him, Bears fans and White Sox fans pick the players that have done the most for them in the past, regardless of this years performance. According to him, if it weren’t for Dempster they Cubs fans would be picking rookies that haven’t played more than 1/3 of a MLB season. Meaning they’re more “What have you done for me lately”
That’s the point I was trying to make from his list.
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 12:28 PM CDT up reply actions
i get your point
but to be realistic, if you just went around chicago asking people who they thought the most popular bear is, urlacher is the most likely answer. and if you talked to non-white sox fans, buehrle would win as well.
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
Exactly!
I don’t disagree with that. We’re only talking about popularity here. I was merely saying that Cubs fans pick the “what have you done for me lately” guy instead of the proven hero that’s held them up for years. They appear to be the exact opposite of Bears and Sox fans.
Gosh.
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 12:33 PM CDT up reply actions
I gave up on his introductory paragraph
He should be suspended. That is a flat-out, absolute disgrace to the umpiring profession, what this guy has been doing. West doesn’t care. -Hawk
Because he’s a f—-ing a—hole, that’s what he is. - Ozzie
now they're already wondering if Konerko took steroids
He should be suspended. That is a flat-out, absolute disgrace to the umpiring profession, what this guy has been doing. West doesn’t care. -Hawk
Because he’s a f—-ing a—hole, that’s what he is. - Ozzie
I saw that..
It’s like he’s never hit homeruns before or he’s not a streaky hitter who puts up big months.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 11:22 AM CDT up reply actions
sorry to hear it man... that sucks.....
if you need someone to take over day to day operations look no farther than me.. i got you…. ::evil plan to take over is coming together:: mauahahahahahahaha
Kenwo4life=ratings
If you guys need anyone to edit the site and maybe change some stuff around let me know
been throwing around some ideas
why’s the site so black and grey? some color would be good, maybe different shades of teal
also, got some sweet graphics
Lemme know, I can send you a bill up front or we can figure that out later
signature
by billyok on Jun 7, 2010 12:56 AM CDT reply actions 4 recs
Ouch!
Sounds brutal, hope you heal fast. And I hope the Sox give you something interesting to write about.
No animals were harmed during the making of this comment.
A possible silver lining...
Sometimes, in seasons past, Cheat’s absences have coincided with extended Sox winning streaks. Not saying it’s gonna happen, but nothing else seems to have worked this year.
If it works this year, Cheat will truly have taken one for the team!
If that's all there is my friend, then let's keep dancing...
"Taken" implies something was foisted upon him unwillingly.
He has “taken” nothing. He may have “given”.
And how do plan on masturbating with a broken pelvis?
when i was in 9th grade i was the only one in my entire boys choir to understood my teacher
by BoeJouma on May 11, 2010 5:46 PM EDT
SBN has great disability/WC coverage...I'm sure that's covered.
"Jenks, who was never afraid to say "no" to a hamburger..."
by BobbySouthSide on Jun 7, 2010 7:48 AM CDT up reply actions
I quickly skimmed this the first time as
“‘Teahen’ implies something was foisted upon him unwillingly.” Which made such perfect sense to me, I didn’t even think twice to reread it.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 10:09 AM CDT up reply actions
I'm reminded of two movies
Murderball, where the quadriplegics all recount that the first thing they learned how to do was masturbate, and Jurassic Park, where Jeff Goldbloom explains that nature always finds a way
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
SouthSideSox on Facebook
buster olney tweets
Buster_ESPN Heard this from multiple executives: The White Sox have made it clear they are open for business, and ready to trade off parts from what has been a very disappointing team. The perception of other teams is that Paul Konerko is available right now, and as we know, Chicago GM Ken Williams is a deal-maker,someone who will move quickly — as he did with the Contreras and Thome deals last fall.
great, another A ball reliever cheat can jerk off too
He should be suspended. That is a flat-out, absolute disgrace to the umpiring profession, what this guy has been doing. West doesn’t care. -Hawk
Because he’s a f—-ing a—hole, that’s what he is. - Ozzie
by blackoutsox on Jun 7, 2010 11:02 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
and here i thought Cheat flew solo
I'd rather have Rios steal 50 bases than hit 50 home runs. I want production.
:)
poor, innocent cheat eating his dippin' dots when tragedy strikes.
by homesickalien on Jun 7, 2010 11:20 AM CDT up reply actions
"ball reliever". Isn't that what a jerk off is?
If that's all there is my friend, then let's keep dancing...
by Chiburb on Jun 7, 2010 11:06 AM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
Now...
You said “too”. You could have just as easily said “to” and it wouldn’t have changed the meaning entirely… either way it’s pretty funny.
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 12:31 PM CDT up reply actions
would've... not wouldn't.
Having issues today.
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 12:39 PM CDT up reply actions
yeah I slipped there but hey it does work both ways
He should be suspended. That is a flat-out, absolute disgrace to the umpiring profession, what this guy has been doing. West doesn’t care. -Hawk
Because he’s a f—-ing a—hole, that’s what he is. - Ozzie
So where does he go?
Rays, Angels, Blue Jays if they want to go for the wild card seem like options? I guess the Giants if you think Huff can play in the outfield.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 11:07 AM CDT up reply actions
angels are prolly content with napoli at first
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
afaict they are keeping him behind the plate
mathis is still down and he’s nearly replacement level anyway
I'd rather have Rios steal 50 bases than hit 50 home runs. I want production.
what really? giants?
he was chased out of that town. KW isn’t going to send a vet somewhere he hates.
neat
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
he was better with us than with the Indians
( I kid) but thats is cool. Is there a Frank Thomas one?
He should be suspended. That is a flat-out, absolute disgrace to the umpiring profession, what this guy has been doing. West doesn’t care. -Hawk
Because he’s a f—-ing a—hole, that’s what he is. - Ozzie
i really wish i sucked less at computers
I'd rather have Rios steal 50 bases than hit 50 home runs. I want production.
if only there was a place you could attend, like, classes on how to do such things.
by larry on Jun 7, 2010 11:19 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Shut your idealistic trap, larry!
poor, innocent cheat eating his dippin' dots when tragedy strikes.
by homesickalien on Jun 7, 2010 11:20 AM CDT up reply actions
i am pretty fuckin' mercenary
when it comes to classes.
I'd rather have Rios steal 50 bases than hit 50 home runs. I want production.
I am pretty fuckin tired
of my baseball team
"Anywhere white people are poor, I'm afraid to go" Lawrence Holmes 670 the Score
by Tdogg on Jun 7, 2010 12:11 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Hilarious... top search results that have led people to our site in the past 3 days.
Maybe none so good as the last 4, but I am additionally amused that bar rafaeli comes in well above “white sox blog”…
poor, innocent cheat eating his dippin' dots when tragedy strikes.
by homesickalien on Jun 7, 2010 12:15 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
i enjoy mazda5 somehow leading here
"A brief but trenchant analysis of Scott Podsednik
He’s dogshit."
by NYRoyal on Jan 8, 2010 8:56 AM PST
my personal fav is of course
black power!
"Anywhere white people are poor, I'm afraid to go" Lawrence Holmes 670 the Score
Really. Something is terribly amiss here.
I typed in “huh” and went thru the first 10 pages. No SSS.
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 12:37 PM CDT up reply actions
you are misinterpreting what she is saying
"Anywhere white people are poor, I'm afraid to go" Lawrence Holmes 670 the Score
I think I get it. Pretty obvious the point she is making...
But I tried to replicate this and see why this is happening, to no avail. It’s got to be a mistake
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 7, 2010 12:52 PM CDT up reply actions
this is gold
He should be suspended. That is a flat-out, absolute disgrace to the umpiring profession, what this guy has been doing. West doesn’t care. -Hawk
Because he’s a f—-ing a—hole, that’s what he is. - Ozzie
An apt image to use there..
Considering the event was kind of like a propeller.
I should also report that in the spirit of a real grinder, the cheat walked it off.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 12:41 PM CDT up reply actions
I figure I walked about a mile after the incident
then drove home, then told everyone I was fine, walking around more, then finally ceding that I needed to go to the hospital the next day
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
SouthSideSox on Facebook
Sorry to hear your Pelvis has been Kotsaydh'd!!!
asked to perform a task incapable of success at- i.e. maintaining structural integrity under impact.
Maybe should we call you Q?? fragile and obsessive?
Four weeks in and I’m bitter as shit- Teahenny Penny
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jun 7, 2010 12:58 PM CDT up reply actions
Did you really fall off a barstool?
I am truly sorry for your pain, but I have to tell you that this is one of the funniest injuries I’ve ever heard of.
"ive taken time to make sure this was tpyo free" - BoeJouma
I sometimes find it difficult to determine whether you're serious or joking,
so I usually dismiss any questionable tales you tell as fiction until corroborative evidence presents itself.
"ive taken time to make sure this was tpyo free" - BoeJouma
I'm no pain management expert...
But once you get to the “money shot” while abusing yourself, won’t the discomfort level actually jump a notch?
Or perhaps you’re going for the pain and pleasure thing?
"I've indicated that I don't approve of the Arizona law. I think it's the wrong approach." – Pres. Obama on the AZ law allowing law enforcement officials to question suspected illegal immigrants about their immigration status
it might
right now, laughing, coughing, and sneezing are among the most painful things I can do
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
SouthSideSox on Facebook
To keep from laughing...
It would be best not to tune into Sox games when Kotsay, Nix and Vizquel are in the line-up together.
"This is why women aren't in charge of sports." - The retort of CNBC anchor Mark Haines to fellow anchor Erin Burnett’s comment that Jim Joyce’s ultimate handling of the infamous perfect game blown call was "beautiful."
Does weeping hurt? Because I'd think that's what you'd have to worry about
When those 3 are in the line up together.
Fuck Tradition! - phastphil
by Grinder in Training on Jun 7, 2010 1:45 PM CDT up reply actions
Add "masturbating" to the list.
when i was in 9th grade i was the only one in my entire boys choir to understood my teacher
by BoeJouma on May 11, 2010 5:46 PM EDT
i'll let you now
Twitter: @SouthSideCheat
SouthSideSox on Facebook
by The Cheat on Jun 7, 2010 9:47 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I really hope you mean you'll let him know.
"mark kotsay had 9 LOB tonight. they should shoot him in the face in front of his kids." by MM June 1st
by South Side Expat on Jun 7, 2010 10:03 PM CDT up reply actions
aww cheat that wasn't supposed to happen
GO BLACKHAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG WTH just happened somebody needs more than one day off.
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