Target Field Insults

by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 15, 2010 4:21 PM CDT

So, I am about to head to Target Field to cheer our Beloved White Sox in person up here in MN. I am calling on all the collected genius that is SSS to help me with some pointed jeers to shout at the Twins and their fans should the occasion call for it. Examples after the Jump!

"Hey - When does Cliff Lee pitch?"

"So, tell me: How does second place in a new park feel?"

"Isn't Slowey one of the Seven Dwarfs?"

I know you guys and gals can do better than me, so help a brother out and post some suggestions for me to use!

SouthSideSox is a community driven site. As such, users are able to express their thoughts and opinions in a FanPost, such as this one, which represents the views of this particular fan, but not necessarily the entire community or SouthSideSox editors.

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"God, is it cold out here! Where's your roof?!"

"i need to watch this harry potter movie on tv on acid."
by Where Triples Go to Die on Jul 15, 2010 3:30 PM CDT
I have witnessed the 2005 World Series championship, Mark Buehrle's perfect game, and the 2010 Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup championship in my lifetime.
RIP Bob Probert

by chisoxfan1473 on Jul 15, 2010 4:47 PM CDT reply actions

HEY PUNTO!!

USUALLY IN ODD NUMBERED YEARS YOU SUCK AND IN EVEN NUMBERED YEARS YOU ARE MODERATELY SERVICEABLE YET THIS IS AN EVEN NUMBERED YEAR AND YOU STILL SUCK!!! WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?!?! ALSO, I KNOW YOU HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP AND ADMITTED YOU ARE POWERLESS IN YOUR ATTEMPT TO NOT SLIDE INTO FIRST BASE HEAD FIRST BUT I BET YOU HAVEN’T EVEN ATTEMPTED ANY OF THE OTHER ELEVEN STEPS YOU FLAT FACED BUTT SNIFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~ for those who haven’t read his admission, LINK.

hey swisher...........you know.

by BuehrleMan on Jul 15, 2010 4:52 PM CDT reply actions 4 recs

HSA- is that you?

"Fuck fangraphs and your fancy designer stats can go pound some hard sand"- Billyok

by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 15, 2010 4:54 PM CDT up reply actions

ha, what you cant rattle all that off

what a rook

Just taking a couple minutes to act like a retard.
Thank you, thank you, SSS. Thank you for accepting people who act like retards, if not actual retards. by Mitch. on Jun 24, 2010 1:16 PM CDT

by Grinder Rule #42 on Jul 16, 2010 5:35 PM CDT up reply actions

The Twins are in third place

For once in my adult life, I’m am blanking on insults to hurl at Minnesotans. I’m going to fix that will some beer and get back to you.

It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT

by rhythm on Jul 15, 2010 6:31 PM CDT reply actions

Oh, wait, the creative juices are flowing now...

How’s about “Your fucking state sucks”

Now, I’ll add beer and get back to you a bit later.

It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT

by rhythm on Jul 15, 2010 6:32 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

The funny people on Mystery Science Theater 3000 were from Illinois and Wisconsin

Theain is the guy I Just can’t stand! pierre is almost as bad,he dose get on base more. If Quntin gets any worse trade him. WE NEED HELP!

by 67WMAQ on Jul 16, 2010 7:09 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

The beer did nothing...NOTHING!!!!

Hey, maybe that would be a funny insult. Hell, I’d use it if I were going to a game.

I seem to remember the guys I knew from Milwaukee calling Minnesotans muckrackets or something. Whatever, that’s all I got right now :(

It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT

by rhythm on Jul 16, 2010 10:44 AM CDT up reply actions

something something something michelle bachmann

though that may leave the door open for a blago counterburn

These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.

by thatshortkid on Jul 15, 2010 6:37 PM CDT reply actions

"It's pronounced TAR SHEY!"

"We can't do it easy. But we may as well do it high." -The Cheat

by South Side Expat on Jul 15, 2010 6:38 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

"so is this like wal-mart field but with a higher markup?"

These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.

by thatshortkid on Jul 15, 2010 6:43 PM CDT reply actions 4 recs

winner

Couldn’t stop laughing at this one

12/12/07- We'll miss you Andy Gonzalez

by The Deacon on Jul 16, 2010 7:27 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions

Nice!

It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT

by rhythm on Jul 16, 2010 10:45 AM CDT up reply actions

used this one on a twins fan

at the bar friday nite whilst watching the game…

he didnt get it, but his girlfriend was rotflhao…score me via tsk. thanx dawg

Just taking a couple minutes to act like a retard.
Thank you, thank you, SSS. Thank you for accepting people who act like retards, if not actual retards. by Mitch. on Jun 24, 2010 1:16 PM CDT

by Grinder Rule #42 on Jul 19, 2010 12:41 PM CDT up reply actions

always glad to be of service.

These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.

by thatshortkid on Jul 19, 2010 6:51 PM CDT up reply actions

the dwarf joke got some laughs...

"Fuck fangraphs and your fancy designer stats can go pound some hard sand"- Billyok

by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 15, 2010 7:17 PM CDT via mobile reply actions

Kirby Puckett is still dead,

yet women are still being groped by his corpse.

You will look at my bicep and you will see a 20-inch bicep and you will say "Wow, look what this training has done" - that's the obvious. The harder you work, the more you gain, there's no shortcut, and that each time you fail, that you just got to get up and try again. (Arnold Schwartzenegger)

by winningugly on Jul 15, 2010 8:15 PM CDT reply actions

Matt Garza would look good in a Twins uniform.

Oh.

by winningugly on Jul 15, 2010 8:16 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs

hahaha this is now green.

by chisoxfan1473 on Jul 16, 2010 6:05 PM CDT up reply actions

Their pitching collapsed like a...too soon?

by karkoVICE SQUAD on Jul 15, 2010 9:21 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

like a welfare mother's uterus?

"Fuck fangraphs and your fancy designer stats can go pound some hard sand"- Billyok

by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 15, 2010 9:33 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions

who the fuck are you?

i like.

"from the Chi, the city of hella haters, where we keep rising to the top like elevators. Hi haters I'm back off hiatus." - grammy family

by Where Triples Go to Die on Jul 16, 2010 8:18 AM CDT up reply actions

i normally talk about the following to rile up twins fans

1.) Justin Morneau is the most boring baseball in the history of baseball.
2.) Continue to argue that Mark Prior would have been a better pick than Joe Mauer.
3.) Disregard the 87 & 91 world series wins because the team was turning the fans off and on to gain an advantage.
4.) prove your point by mentioning the lack of Mauer’s power now that he’s outside.

rmlumley.com

by shaftr on Jul 16, 2010 1:34 AM CDT reply actions 3 recs

"I have to return some shitty Martha Stewart towels!"

Theain is the guy I Just can’t stand! pierre is almost as bad,he dose get on base more. If Quntin gets any worse trade him. WE NEED HELP!

by 67WMAQ on Jul 16, 2010 5:34 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs

This ballpark is nice, but it needs and escalator for your cart.

Theain is the guy I Just can’t stand! pierre is almost as bad,he dose get on base more. If Quntin gets any worse trade him. WE NEED HELP!

by 67WMAQ on Jul 16, 2010 6:08 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs

If you really want to get under the Twin fan's skin

You have to play on their inferiority complex, especially the whole big city/small city thing. Maybe something like:

“Wow, those cows really keep the outfield grass trimmed nicely.”

“I rode that little train of yours. When do they put in the rest of the system?”

“Man, these players of yours are going to look very good playing in Fenway three years from now.” (Note, the Yankees work well too but the recent history is Minnesota to Boston.)

“So you keep electing celebrities as a cry for attention, right?”

Optimist

by Peder on Jul 16, 2010 7:27 AM CDT reply actions 4 recs