Der Twain urn Heavern
by Rhubarb on Aug 19, 2010 4:59 PM CDT
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"Hay guhs! Who woonts toogoo to duh Twains gayme?"
"I doo eh!?!"
"Doo ya!?"
"I Eh...eh..only if we cun take der traayne!"
"Wull...dat gooz withoot sayurn!"
"Ull meet yoo at der trayne stayshun eho?!"
"Hur coomes der trayne!"
"Bee curful, dont wannur get sucked under der wheels like Mildreder's brudder ehr?"
"Wur rully wulking away wooth thus one dis yur eh?"
"Eh...die mauer is der tops!"
"Whoosh I cud groo a moostacher as nerce as der pavstache."
"Ya cud if ure tried hurder."
"Didjer pack der loonch?"
"Eh? Of curse."
"We eart Murtha's hotdish den we pray eh?"
"Dis hur hotdish is der bees kneeser eh?"
"Yum eh? gobble eh?"
"Potluck on der rails eh!?"
"Uts pray time er!?"
"Mr. God sur...eh...pleeze heal Morneaur fur turnights game eh! Amen?"
"Gee whiz Earl, nice pruyer. Swell inderd"
"Whurts thut sound eh?"
"Fur der lover of Danner Gladden!"
"Inferstructure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
SHREEEEEEEEEKINAHDAJFD:AKAJAJAL:JS:SSSSSSSKRKRKKRKKKEEEECHWEREE!!!!
AHAAHAHAHAHAHAAA UGHUHGUHSUAGAUAH!!!!!
The Twain game will not sell out tonight...There will be four empty seats...But four less available in Heaven.
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97 comments
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55 recs |
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Comments
mobile rec'd and then some
You never really experience tragedy until you experience it in HO scale.
Theain is the guy I Just can’t stand! pierre is almost as bad,he dose get on base more. If Quntin gets any worse trade him. WE NEED HELP!
by 67WMAQ on Aug 19, 2010 5:41 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Oh. My. God.
Or should I say “Ohhhh my Gawwd.”
It’s funny because it’s true. My parents talk like this. Nice job, eh.
by Jesse on Aug 19, 2010 5:44 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
nice to have some positive feedback from a TT celeb :)
"I never say one bad thing about those stupid fucking Cubs fans. Not a single word about those mother-shitting pieces of fuck"
by onlysoxfaninbasel on Aug 20, 2010 5:07 AM CDT up reply actions
most awesome use of miniatures since bat-girl shuffled off this internet coil.
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Aug 19, 2010 6:19 PM CDT up reply actions
and enjoy the frontpage
When I was a kid, I didn't want to be a doctor or a fireman. I wanted to be Super Mario. It's the most literal pipe dream I've ever had.
i edited in a jump
feel free to move it or remove it all together, just felt it flowed better on the FP with one.
When I was a kid, I didn't want to be a doctor or a fireman. I wanted to be Super Mario. It's the most literal pipe dream I've ever had.
Needs moar Uff Da
but otherwise fantastic!
Best game I ever attended was the 163rd game of 2008.
by NorthSidePaulie on Aug 19, 2010 6:15 PM CDT reply actions
I tell you this, I don't know shit about shit, but I do know this
the Twins are gonna get got.
"We saw death and I don't think we fear it anymore. Not unlike 2005, when we finally clinched and then we took off in the playoffs." Coop 7/29/10
by Ahillock on Aug 19, 2010 6:22 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
By the Yankees or the Rays for sure
I think they can beat the Rangers.
Best game I ever attended was the 163rd game of 2008.
by NorthSidePaulie on Aug 19, 2010 6:37 PM CDT up reply actions
I literally just about died laughing
Thank you, this made my day.
On Twitter? Follow my occasional rants about whatever...
Rhubarb, you're the best. Thanks.
"Before you can say 'sounds of the game,' Mark Kotsay is out." -Chris Rose
High praise, indeed, Cheat.
I especially like the homage to Bat-girl.
Its sort of a chess match right now but some upgrades are still possible with very little cost except money.
by Tdogg on Jul 23, 2010 10:13 AM EDT
Haven't ever visited Twinkie Town
but something tells me that some creative Lutheran (oxymoron?) could do a pretty good send up of a SSS interloper too.
On second thought, it would probably just be a Cubfan-style Ligue family cliche, even though the foul-mouthedness would be on target.
Best game I ever attended was the 163rd game of 2008.
by NorthSidePaulie on Aug 19, 2010 6:41 PM CDT reply actions
I resent those stereotypes! I.... mmmm... tater tot hotdish...
"'Over'? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!"
Good God this is awesome.
Also: Fewer.
by The Actual El Guapo on Aug 19, 2010 6:50 PM CDT reply actions
Amazing! Thank you!
"I became an optimist when I discovered that I wasn't going to win any more games by being anything else."
Earl Weaver
This is amongst the best posts ever.
Highest and best. Rec’d.
Its sort of a chess match right now but some upgrades are still possible with very little cost except money.
by Tdogg on Jul 23, 2010 10:13 AM EDT
This is absolutely brilliant.
Please forgive me for cribbing my sig from your (now) second-best Twins-fan rant.
"I'm sure those even-tempered, model railroading, freckly f*cks are yucking it up over at Twinkie town." - by Rhubarb [from SouthSideSox] on Aug 10, 2010 8:38 PM CDT
this is legend
Thome Walks-Off Sox, Twists Knife, Continues To Make Sox Brass Look REALLY Stupid - White Sox Season Recap
This. Is. Awesome.
You’re on fucking fire, Rhubarb.
Ya, doncha know. Oh, fersher, ya.
Fuckin’ assholes.
It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT
by rhythm on Aug 19, 2010 10:14 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Entry into the SSS hall of fame, line forms to the right of this post.
"the yankees are rachael ray.
god i hate that bitch." by BuehrleMan on Aug 7, 2010 11:48 PM CDT
by South Side Expat on Aug 19, 2010 10:26 PM CDT reply actions
if we got this kind of production from Ribbie this blog would be going places.
a-fucking-mazing
God damn there is so much fucking stupid in this post it would take 20 minutes to address is all. - CatBrains
BUT NOOOOOOO!!!! Cheat had to have members who could both comment and fanpost...
"the yankees are rachael ray.
god i hate that bitch." by BuehrleMan on Aug 7, 2010 11:48 PM CDT
by South Side Expat on Aug 19, 2010 11:59 PM CDT up reply actions
Come across the way
Maybe, put on your sneakers and come across the way for some of my dandelion wine with scones and lingonberry jam. You betcha…
Later we’ll have walleye fillets and a sauna.
by Dick Allen's batting helmet on Aug 19, 2010 11:05 PM CDT reply actions
Scones? What?
Do your homework. Lefse.
Scones. Sheesh.
"I'm sure those even-tempered, model railroading, freckly f*cks are yucking it up over at Twinkie town." - by Rhubarb [from SouthSideSox] on Aug 10, 2010 8:38 PM CDT
one of the best posts, EVAH
"I never say one bad thing about those stupid fucking Cubs fans. Not a single word about those mother-shitting pieces of fuck"
by onlysoxfaninbasel on Aug 20, 2010 5:12 AM CDT reply actions
You had me at "Hay guhs"
and kept me at “inderd”
Reporter: I was wondering if at any point in my lifetime the Cubs weren't going to be run by a guy who didn't immediately remind me of failure, confusion, or imminent death
"Inferstructure!!!!"
Absolutely brilliant. I’m sure you are already drinking this AM, just like Hemingway, Kerouac, Fitzgerald, and Bat-Girl, other prolific American writers. Enjoy it. And I’ll help pay for rehab if it keeps you alive.
Its sort of a chess match right now but some upgrades are still possible with very little cost except money.
by Tdogg on Jul 23, 2010 10:13 AM EDT
I am in a soul-crushing career
under your patronage and through your commissions, I could be enabled to drink in the AM and finish the various writing projects I have left unfinished?
That is correct.
We only need negotiate the price.
Its sort of a chess match right now but some upgrades are still possible with very little cost except money.
by Tdogg on Jul 23, 2010 10:13 AM EDT
You work too cheaply.
I can’t respect that.
Its sort of a chess match right now but some upgrades are still possible with very little cost except money.
by Tdogg on Jul 23, 2010 10:13 AM EDT
31 recs. Must be closing in on a record.
Theain is the guy I Just can’t stand! pierre is almost as bad,he dose get on base more. If Quntin gets any worse trade him. WE NEED HELP!
42 as of now. I'd like someone to correct me if I'm wrong...I believe this is a SSS fanpost record. I know I've not seen that before 'round these parts.
Why no Al like this, hmmmmmm?
"Bee curful, dont wannur get sucked under der wheels like Mildreder's brudder ehr?"
by homesickalien on Aug 21, 2010 1:30 AM CDT up reply actions
he's busy ridiculing omar vizquel.
i say he should stay out of white sox business.
i am a bark for buffeting. i am a hound for thornypaws. i am a doe for swiftness. i am a tree for wind-siege. i am a windmill. i am a hole in a wall.
Baseball Tonight has their Buehrlemeter
Now SSS has the Rhubarbmeter
It was then I realized vegans can’t be trusted
by Scotty Ballgame on Aug 22, 2010 1:39 AM CDT up reply actions
And for the low, low, low price of $30K/year
he can write for you 40 hours/week!
"Inferstructure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" by Rhubarb, Aug. 19, 2010 5:59 PM
by winningugly on Aug 22, 2010 12:36 PM CDT up reply actions
My God
you are beautiful… I kept waiting for some sort of weird Garrison Keillor gif to pop up and shoot me with a shotgun…kinda like one of dose der tom selleck gifs, my gosh he’s a handsome fellow and barely sports a stach better then dat der ace picture dey got.
"The trouble with baseball is that the player who knows how to bat and field the best is sitting in the bleachers" or on sss!?!
by Grinder Rule #42 on Aug 20, 2010 8:54 AM CDT reply actions
lmfaoooooooooo
Czheck Productions
Under The Basement Radio
I've never done anything good for the world, and I'm not about to start now-DF
I couldn't have been the only one to read it aloud.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Aug 20, 2010 11:01 AM CDT reply actions 3 recs
Hee. Not telling.
"I became an optimist when I discovered that I wasn't going to win any more games by being anything else."
Earl Weaver
I'm gonna do a reading of this at Thanksgiving.
WTGD throws himself on the gook grenade and utters his last phrase.
by Rhubarb on Aug 19, 2010 5:42 PM CDT
by South Side Expat on Aug 20, 2010 11:07 AM CDT up reply actions
It got me in the mood to re-watch Fargo.
DANIEL HUDSON SUCKS. HOWS THAT GUN BAN WORKING FOR YOU MAYOR DALLY
by Ozzie Montana on Aug 20, 2010 11:20 AM CDT up reply actions
Prairie Home Companion is on my list for Saturday
Every Saturday, from 5 p.m. – 7 p.m. (Central Time) visit www.prairiehome.org to listen to a live audio Web stream of the show. You can hear a rebroadcast of the live stream on Sunday, from 11 a.m. – 1 p.m. (CT)
"I became an optimist when I discovered that I wasn't going to win any more games by being anything else."
Earl Weaver
Oh yeah, this.
Its sort of a chess match right now but some upgrades are still possible with very little cost except money.
by Tdogg on Jul 23, 2010 10:13 AM EDT
just found a pic of that carlpovanmoustache guy
hes in the middle
"The trouble with baseball is that the player who knows how to bat and field the best is sitting in the bleachers" or on sss!?!
by Grinder Rule #42 on Aug 20, 2010 12:40 PM CDT reply actions
They're showing off their range
Theain is the guy I Just can’t stand! pierre is almost as bad,he dose get on base more. If Quntin gets any worse trade him. WE NEED HELP!
omg
where is that from?
"The trouble with baseball is that the player who knows how to bat and field the best is sitting in the bleachers" or on sss!?!
by Grinder Rule #42 on Aug 20, 2010 4:50 PM CDT up reply actions
Best comedy sketch show ever.
The commentary on the DVDs is even worth listening to several times.
WTGD throws himself on the gook grenade and utters his last phrase.
by Rhubarb on Aug 19, 2010 5:42 PM CDT
by South Side Expat on Aug 20, 2010 5:00 PM CDT up reply actions
This has only been posted about 4 times this last month.
Please try and keep up with the inside jokes.
Its sort of a chess match right now but some upgrades are still possible with very little cost except money.
by Tdogg on Jul 23, 2010 10:13 AM EDT
Shows up in an episode of Arrested too
Reporter: I was wondering if at any point in my lifetime the Cubs weren't going to be run by a guy who didn't immediately remind me of failure, confusion, or imminent death
How did I miss this? This so FOUL!
I loved it dude. lol.
"it’s over, tdogg.
no. it’s not unlike me. when i make an unqualified statement, it means i’m sure i’m right" Larry
i would rec this again if i could.
i keep coming back and reading it. probably ten times now.
i am a bark for buffeting. i am a hound for thornypaws. i am a doe for swiftness. i am a tree for wind-siege. i am a windmill. i am a hole in a wall.
although i see you said "die mauer"
so perhaps you should be expecting a visit from the authorities.
i am a bark for buffeting. i am a hound for thornypaws. i am a doe for swiftness. i am a tree for wind-siege. i am a windmill. i am a hole in a wall.
I too would like to rec again. I should resurrect Shirleigh.
"Bee curful, dont wannur get sucked under der wheels like Mildreder's brudder ehr?"
by homesickalien on Aug 21, 2010 1:31 AM CDT up reply actions
eh
i thought she was a whoore.
i am a bark for buffeting. i am a hound for thornypaws. i am a doe for swiftness. i am a tree for wind-siege. i am a windmill. i am a hole in a wall.
eh.
You thought right.
"Bee curful, dont wannur get sucked under der wheels like Mildreder's brudder ehr?"
by homesickalien on Aug 21, 2010 2:18 PM CDT up reply actions
I read it to the woman. she thought i had a southern accent.
then she read it to the child. in an indian accent.
I've read this like 4 times now. And it needs a voice recording/playback feature.
Someone (qualified) should read this aloud and post it somewhere. I’m dead serious.
And it needs to be on the recommended fanposts section forever.
"Brent Lillibridge - DH" - July 7th, 2010
"Good luck finding a one two punch like us in the league" - BSLillibridge, July 20, 2010
by Shoeless In SC on Aug 21, 2010 12:09 AM CDT reply actions
My version devolves into Swedish Chef fairly rapidly.
EVERYBODY PICK US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO
Sox Machine
by Sox Machine on Aug 21, 2010 6:21 AM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
Yeah mine too.
I can’t find the line between Minnasota and Sweden.
I just start inserting random “borks”.
Time to call in the Q!avalry.
by ScottyPods Ver2.0 on Aug 23, 2010 2:11 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Really? My version devolves into Rob Roy fairly quickly.
"Brent Lillibridge - DH" - July 7th, 2010
"Good luck finding a one two punch like us in the league" - BSLillibridge, July 20, 2010
by Shoeless In SC on Aug 25, 2010 11:48 PM CDT up reply actions
So, I've spent a decent amount of time playing Starcraft2 this afternoon...
Everytime one of my buildings gets destroyed, I’ve yelled out “Inferstructure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I can’t help it.
WTGD throws himself on the gook grenade and utters his last phrase.
by Rhubarb on Aug 19, 2010 5:42 PM CDT
by South Side Expat on Aug 21, 2010 3:07 PM CDT reply actions
Annnnnnnd Scene.
WTGD throws himself on the gook grenade and utters his last phrase.
by Rhubarb on Aug 19, 2010 5:42 PM CDT
by South Side Expat on Aug 25, 2010 12:24 AM CDT up reply actions 6 recs
I unrec'd this post so I could rec it again.
Time to call in the Q!avalry.
by ScottyPods Ver2.0 on Aug 25, 2010 1:47 PM CDT reply actions
What part of "Annnnnnnnd Scene" do you not understand?
"Inferstructure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" by Rhubarb, Aug. 19, 2010 5:59 PM
reiterating a similar occurence to SSE's, i found out one should not giggle when "turrs urn heavern" comes on the radio
and you’re in a carful of coworkers heading to lunch. those were some weird stares.
These events have me frightened and on the verge of evacuating my bowels.
by thatshortkid on Aug 25, 2010 2:10 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
explain it to me jerks
Kenwo4life=ratings
by KenWo4LiFe on Aug 25, 2010 3:55 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Ask your students to read it out loud.
DANIEL HUDSON SUCKS. HOWS THAT GUN BAN WORKING FOR YOU MAYOR DALLY
by Ozzie Montana on Aug 25, 2010 4:53 PM CDT up reply actions
the nort woods are full of log rolling bastards that talk just like this.
youbetcha, take a trip up there, its not too spendy.
"Hur coomes der trayne!"
youbetcha, take a trip up DERE, its not too spendy.
Christ on a stick, get it right.
"I'm sure those even-tempered, model railroading, freckly f*cks are yucking it up over at Twinkie town." - by Rhubarb [from SouthSideSox] on Aug 10, 2010 8:38 PM CDT
by sw mn guy on Aug 30, 2010 3:02 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
no points for 'spendy'?
aw c’mon
MannyTheTorpedoes: the dotcher place me on wavers
/waves at passing car
Watch Fargo!
Great movie, absolutely hilarious and really captures the essence of most minnesotaints.
I was up there shortly after the movie came out. Anyone over 40 absolutely loved it because they knew it fit them to a T. Anyone under 25 hated it and claimed “Fer shure, we don’t talk like that, ya know.” Classic!
It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT
In Minnesota, they don't exist.
It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT
that would be minnesotans and yes, they do have that bad of an accent
though I’d like to expand on your spelling to make it minnesoTAINTS.
It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT
You'll be pleased to know this is the first thing that pops into google when you type "Danner Gladden"
Theain is the guy I Just can’t stand! pierre is almost as bad,he dose get on base more. If Quntin gets any worse trade him. WE NEED HELP!
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