Today our admin began the sacrificial ritual.  She decorated our office with xmas shit.  While doing so, she made sure the deplorable jingles of yesteryear were audible throughout the corporate narthex.  She cheerily sipped peppermint cocoa and adorned the Mass-produced tree with colorful glass balls that signify the empty hopes and dreams of nostalgia, regret and mortal fragility.  Listening to 'Wonderful Christmastime" for the first of hundreds of times over the next 6 weeks, I contemplated my sacrifice to my corporate overlords.  Every Xmas we sacrifice our money and time, instead of virgins like the Mayans did, to the God of Consumerism.  We plan our annual pilgrimmage to our meccas--malls,, commons and big box stores.  We chant our silly chants, we eat our silly morsels and after all is said and done, as the new year approaches like a final exam or a prostate exam, all you're left with is a hazy nog saturated memory of the ritual, populated with the people who walk your walk and a smattering of brand new, expensive, yet swiftly decaying and  depreciating products that are destined for the same place as your bones. What do the holidays mean to you?

On the first day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the second day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the third day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency

On the fourth day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the fifth day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...five golden sombreros, four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the sixth day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...six years since the series, five golden sombreros, four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the seventh day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...seven man rotation, six years since the series, five golden sombreros, four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the eighth day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...eight draft busts, seven man rotation, six years since the series, five golden sombreros, four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the ninth day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...nine replacement level players, eight draft busts, seven man rotation, six years since the series, five golden sombreros, four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the tenth day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...en games out of first place, nine replacement level players, eight draft busts, seven man rotation, six years since the series, five golden sombreros, four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the eleventh day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...eleven FNS jerseys, ten games out of first place, nine replacement level players, eight draft busts, seven man rotation, six years since the series, five golden sombreros, four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency.

On the twelth day of Xmas Kenny gave to me...twelve million and three for Buehrle, eleven FNS jerseys, ten games out of first, nine replacement level players, eight draft busts, seven man rotation, six years since the series, five golden sombreros, four albatross contracts, three pompous smirks, two failed bunts and a bullshit market inefficiency!