Twelve Little Ballplayers
by U-God on Dec 7, 2011 8:59 PM CST
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And then there were eleven.
Eleven little ball players,
all powerful men.
One forgot how to pitch.
And then there were ten.
Ten little ballplayers,
still looking fine.
Another one to the Phillies?
And then there were nine.
Nine little ballplayers,
isn't this great?
One got California cool
And then there were eight.
Eight little ballplayers,
Swinging those sticks.
Two were declared fungible.
And then there were six.
Six little ballplayers,
something doesn't jive.
One couldn't stay healthy.
And then there were five.
Five little ballplayers,
at one time there were more.
One got old very quick.
Four little ballplayers,
this is killing me.
One was fat and bitched and moaned.
And then there were three.
Three little ballplayers,
with nothing much to do.
One moved on to South Beach.
And then there were two.
To be concluded...
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Jesus, U-God,
this puts me over. Very nice work.
Tim Tebow doesn't fight the law, but if he did, the law would surely win. Okay, maybe not.
incredible.
"Rhubarb, if you wouldn’t mind, ram your taint into your monitor as hard as you can." - joewho112
You don't need any more ego stroking. Get back to studying.
(This is f’ing fantastic.)
by South Side Expat on Dec 7, 2011 9:11 PM CST reply actions
And pharmacology.
Always pharmacology.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
It loses its punch if multiple stanzas end in "teen".
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
i
I am in favor of this
by ceverettsdinosaurs on Dec 8, 2011 9:54 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
Awesome!
"ass hole thi is the same line up whit leftys you idiot"
But sad...
"ass hole thi is the same line up whit leftys you idiot"
I'm not looking forward to concluding this.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
one's conclusion may come sooner than we expect
hopefully the other stays a sox for life like we thought 56 may have before the payroll got jacked up
The realist keepin it real amongst the surrealists
I was in Baghdad before these little B.G.'s was in they daddy-bags.
by starbury_to_s-jaxci2000 on Dec 10, 2011 3:56 AM CST up reply actions
I always thought Buehrle would be the last to leave.
uplifting and saddening at the same time.
NAOPOS
This must be what outliving all your friends at the retirement home feels like
SHOW GREG WALKER THE NEW EMPLOYEE ORIENTATION VIDEO!
by billyok on Dec 7, 2011 11:20 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
Highlander.
“Who wants to live…forever?”
Tim Tebow doesn't fight the law, but if he did, the law would surely win. Okay, maybe not.
ugh....
A lady who loves sports: hockey is number one though. BLACKHAWKS, WHITE SOX AND BEARS
by pierzynskirules on Dec 7, 2011 11:33 PM CST reply actions
This brought a tear to my eye.
3 things in life I care about
Sox, Colts, and Hawks.
Lifetime banners: '05, '07, '10
I hate to be "that guy"
but the Marlins’ new ballpark is in Little Havana, not South Beach.
"That baseball is the smartest thing out on that field." —Hawk Harrelson
All of Miami is South Beach
LeBron taught us that.
Great piece. Losing this one hurt the most.
"Bama Hawkeye, you know, the Iowa blogger who actually uses reason and analysis." - Patrick Vint
"I thought it was laughable when you first put it up, but you were obviously smarter than me." - PurdueMatt
http://www.offtackleempire.com
The Heat don't play in South Beach either.
And Contreras pitched for us again after that injury. It’s a poem. I took poetic license.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
Pictures! That's the spirit!
"People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage."
John Kenneth Galbraith
Knew you'd like it.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
So in the end
SPOILER ALERT*** We find out Buehrle was the murderer all along????
Well, boys, it's a round ball and a round bat and you got to hit the ball square. ~Joe Schultz, 1969
Outstanding. Well done.
To my knowledge, certain things were not known.
-James Murdoch
by 2ndHalfAdjustments on Dec 8, 2011 7:51 AM CST reply actions
yes well done
"Rooting for the Twins is just a roundabout way of rooting for a first-round playoff bye for the Yankees." by big_fun
Awesome stuff, U
Semi-related: I had to go back to B-R to remind myself at how awesome a year Cliff Politte put up in 2005. In retrospect, it seems like it was definitely more luck related than I remembered it being. Both his BB/9 and K/9 dropped a little from his career averages but his H/9 and LD% were ridiculously low.
90.8% strand rate!
.201 BABIP!
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
My son
Texted me saying this made him tear up in the middle of the meeting he was attending.
Did you send it to the Oklahoma daughter yet?
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
I write them opponent previews. But do you think they call me U-God the opponents preview writer?
THEY DON’T.
I rewrite poems to include White Sox players. But do you think they call me U-God the poem rewriter?
THEY DON’T.
I create choose your own adventure books for them. But do you think they call me U-God the choose your own adventure story writer?
THEY DON’T.
But you hit on one 13 year old…
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
by U-God on Dec 8, 2011 10:01 AM CST up reply actions 8 recs
Gotta admit
that meme has probably outlasted its humorous-ness. For the record, yours are usually among my favorite posts.
I just assumed they made it up, it's even funnier now that I know it actually happened.
by Ozzie Montana on Dec 8, 2011 11:49 AM CST up reply actions
Jack M and I were the ones who bore witness
It was hilarious, i even offered to lock it down and mums the word and he was thankful but as soon as we got back to the seats he told everyone. It wasn’t as creepy as it sounds, if you can actually believe that
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
Great poem
I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT
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