So yesterday I volunteered to write in U-God's afternoon slot. Then the bossman got sick. For real sick, not opening day sick like 90% of you. So here we go-
"What should I write about?" I wondered.
I am playing U-God this week in the sss fantasy baseball league. Maybe I could do a piece about what I found from looking at several projection systems and comparing them for fantasy purposes. For example, Bill James is widely regarded as being too optimistic when it comes to predicting young players performance, but actually he is much more kind to old boys like Bobby Abreu and Miguel Tejada. He believes they can maintain their production better than basically every other system does. In fact, rotowire seems to be the most optimistic with the young kids, especially if they were productive while getting a cup of coffee last season. That is more of a RR piece though, fantasy stuff doesn't have the mass appeal, especially on such a good day. I need something else (like a nap).
Opening Day is a top 5 holiday for me, so I considered doing a piece documenting the 110 years of White Sox Opening Days, starting with April 24, 1901, when the White Stockings defeated the Cleveland Indians 8-3 at South Side Park in front of 6,000 and the American League was born. But opening day is about looking forward, it isn't about the past. Pass.
It was around this time my brain started to malfunction in a major way. I started to feel like the sss clown, so naturally Andy the Clown popped into my head. Maybe I could profile Andy. He only missed one opening day in the 30 years he came to White Sox games in costume from 1960-1990, and that was because his wife passed away the day before in 1989. It's a shame they told Andy to get lost when Comiskey II went up. Still, there isn't that much out there about Andy that you can't learn from his wikipedia page, and again that would be about the past. Next.
I considered doing a rah rah cheerleader piece, because opening day is all about optimism. We can do it! The weather is about to break, the sun will soon make our winter attire obsolete, blah blah blah. Boring.
Opening Day is about optimism to be sure, but more than that Opening Day is FUN. And what is more fun than a MS Paint thread?
My brain couldn't handle writing or even establishing a good idea for a cognitive article, but I sure had some good ideas for silly, poorly done drawings. I thought I would do the Sox rotation as the four horsemen of the apocalypse. And then the 5th horseman would be Jake Peavy, riding backwards on his steed. Good idea right? But drawing horses is hard. Still there was something there, and Andy was still up there milling around...
Please submit your own mad MS Paint skills in the comments below, and also
PLEASE set your pixel height to 400 when you get started.