The first round of UZR numbers for the season are out! Hooray meaningless data!

They'll give those things to anyone. (via sports.yahoo.com)

(Keep in mind that you need three seasons of UZR data for the numbers to work, and we're less than a 10th of the way into this season, meaning these numbers represent 3% of the amount you want for a decent sample.)

By UZR/150, the four worst qualified fielders in baseball are Aubrey Huff (-109.5), Ichiro Suzuki (-66.9), Josh Willingham (-66.5), and Carl Crawford (-65.2).  In case you couldn't tell, those numbers are meaningless, because Juan Pierre somehow managed to only be the 10th worst in baseball at -42.3 UZR/150.

Meanwhile, the best three qualified fielders in baseball are Jack Hannahan (63.6), Carlos Lee (53.2), and Carlos Gomez (52.3).  Sounds about right.

As far as the White Sox go, you can look at the full set of meaningless numbers <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/winss.aspx?team=White+Sox&pos=all&stats=fld&qual=0&type=1&season=2011&month=0&season1=2011" target="new">here</a>, but the top 3 White Sox fielders are (to no one's surprise) RF Brent Lillibridge, with a UZR/150 of 54.0, Omar Vizquel at 17.3 (the ageless wonder, incredible), and Carlos Quentin at 7.7.  I can't believe they're letting a plus fielding CQ DH when Pierre and his -42.3 UZR/150 could do that job, and Quentin could be flashing the leather out in left or right today.  Moving on, the worst White Sox fielders by UZR/150 are LF Lastings Milledge at -69.4 (so glad they DFA'd that guy), 3B Omar Vizquel at -86.0 (clearly old age has made him useless), and 2B Brent Lillibridge at -141.2 (what a bum, get this guy off the team!).

I, being the thorough scientific-minded individual that I am, have even compiled lists of the best defensive player at each position for the White Sox, and in baseball all together!  First the Sox:

1B: Paul Konerko (3.1 UZR/150)
2B: Omar Vizquel (17.3)
3B: Brent Morel (-4.4)
SS: Alexei Ramirez (-13.8)
LF: Mark Teahen (0.0)
CF: Alex Rios (-28.2)
RF: Brent Lillibridge (54.0)

Hopefully Ozzie uses this lineup for better defense behind Buehrle in his next start.

Moving on to the league:

1B: Joey Votto, CIN (44.1)
2B: Brandon Phillips, CIN (24.9)
3B: Jack Hannahan, CLE (63.6)
SS: Paul Jarish, CIN (50.2)
LF: Carlos Lee, HOU (53.2)
CF: Carlos Gomez, MIL (52.3)
RF: Shin-Soo Choo, CLE (33.6)

What are they putting in the water in Ohio?

And if we count unqualified players (because hey, why not?):

1B: Joey Votto, CIN (44.1)
2B: Michael Martinez, PHI (92.4)
3B: Martin Prado, ATL (114.4)
SS: Ramon Santiago, DET (238.5)
LF: Shelley Duncan, CLE (171.3)
CF: Nyjer Morgan, MIL (171.0)
RF: Sam Fuld, TB (119.0)

Great, now that I've said literally every single thing there is to say about early season UZR numbers, we won't need to talk about it again for a while.