Great article calling out both Luke Scott and ESPN in regards to Luke Scott. "Luke Scott is a gun-humping birther survivalist lunatic who keeps a pistol in his sofa cushion and throws plantain chips at a black teammate when he acts "like a savage." Sounds like an asshole, right? But things aren't so simple, ESPN's Amy K. Nelson tells us in her recent profile of Scott, and she's absolutely right: Luke Scott is a gun-humping birther survivalist lunatic who's lucky to have ESPN acting as his publicist." "Felix is my friend," he says. "I give him a hard time. The reason why I give him a hard time is because there are certain people you deal with and you go up and talk to them, and it doesn't work. They don't understand. ---------------- "Another example: According to the story, Scott sees himself as a sort of missionary, here to Americanize his foreign, "dark-skinned" (Nelson's word) teammates by teaching them to adhere to "basic principles" that "trace back to the founders of this country." ------------------ "I tell him about some of the ways he's acted: 'Look, you're acting like an animal, you're acting like a savage.'" Scott turns to his locker and pulls out a bag of plantain chips. "So I throw bananas in his helmet. Here are my banana chips to remind him that whenever he acts like an animal, 'Hey, that's what other people are thinking. They're just not telling you, but that's what they're thinking about." Something tells me this guy would never work out with the White Sox.