We have been visited by a unclean spirit. The evidence is all around us- Look, o ye disbelievers!
1- Only a cursed team would EVER have considered a uniform like this:
2- The Umpires conspire against us....
3- Juandog Pierror- should be a far better player than Scott Podsednik!
(seen here in a previous life, but the the loafing on base after getting caught (AGAIN) should be familiar)
but if you had his start to the season wouldnt you look like this? And long for the palm trees and sunny shores of California?)
3- John Danks has forgotten how to win.
4- Alex Rios is so possessed he cannot even wear his glasses! (I believe they have snagged on the horns growing out of his skull.
5- Did this Manssiere needing pinkysoulpatched leave a cursed Moon Pie hidden in the clubhouse? (Did Herm eat it?)
6- Did Oney cast a voodoo curse upon the team? His dad obviously has the connections to make that happen...
7- The demonically impaired cannot even make the airhorn signal without setting off his IBS!
8- Who has two thumbs, 56 million, no appendix and a .150 BA?
9-why throw out baserunners when you can throw back drinks! His Tongue is clearly possessed!
10- AJ went to africa, and there killed the sacred Ibix of the local tribe, who forever cursed his throwing arm.
I believe that President Obama made a Faustian bargain with the devil: to capture Osama Bin Laden, he sold his beloved White Sox to the Infernal Prince- and here is an actual photo of the consummation of the deal!
So my brothers and sisters! How do we exorcize the foul minions of the devil that have been visited upon us? Your suggestions please!