Deep Into Enemy Twainitory
I've been living in Minneapolis working an internship this summer, and still had yet to go to see Target Field. It was a beautiful day in Minneapolis, unlike the past few days, and I decided halfway through the day that I had to skip work, and go see the game. I had tickets for Tuesday's game, but we all know how that went. I donned my away Pods jersey with a WS '05 patch on the sleeve, and was ready to watch a Sox victory. After all, it couldn't get more pathetic than the last game with 4 double plays, could it? I took the 'Light Rail' to downtown Minneapolis from Saint Paul, which is basically a less popular, and less useful, L train, with only one route. More after the jump to see if I survived my Minnesota train ride.
As I was going down the line, I could hear Rhubarb yelling "INFERSTRUCTURE" each time I went over a bridge. Luckily, myself and all of the model railroad fanatics on the train were able to reach our destination without any catastrophes. Also there were no hotdishes being eaten on the train, much to my surprise and disappointment. Target Field is located in the heart of downtown, and looks very beautiful from the outside. It was a great day out too, and I was excited for some baseball. I scalped a ticket from one of the 8 black men in Minneapolis, and hopped across the street with no walk sign, as the nearby 'sottans looked on in horror. As you walk into the gate from the street, the field stretches down almost at street level, giving a pretty cool visual effect before you even enter.
I had seats in what at the Cell would be the 300 level, right above where Hawk and Stone were probably sitting, and was right in behind home plate. I sat down next to two mustachioed fellows just in time to see Cuddyer line the only run of the game over the center field fence, and immediately a sense of dread came upon me. My worries were further compounded when instead of a Lillibridge, I saw Pierre, Dunn, and Morel all up on the lineup for the Sox. No matter, I was at a ballgame, and at ballgames, they have beer.
One great thing about Minnesota is all the local breweries, and I still haven't tried all they have to offer here. At the park they sell you both Summit and Grain Belt, which are two pretty stellar beers worth checking out if you're in the area. I also got a polish sausage, and got a funny look when I asked for everything on it. I looked upon in horror as a Twain fan loaded their footlong hot dog with ketchup. Ugh.
As I watched the Sox get on the bases, then fail hopelessly, I started up a conversation with the mustache next to me. He had season tickets, and knew quite a bit about Twain baseball. I tried to give him a hard time about his record, but was met with smiles and laughs, instead of frowns and arguments. More of the same in Minneapolis. Don't go expecting confrontation, because they don't know what that word means. The only rise I could get out of the nearby Twains was talking about A.J., but even then, they all agreed that they "respected him", and just felt that it was just baseball protocol to boo. Crain was met with cheers in the 8th, and mustache #1 and #2 both expressed their sadness at seeing him leave last season.
I couldn't get a good picture of it because of the quality of the camera on my phone, but that's the view I had from the inside of the stadium. The stadium was pretty packed, and it didn't look like there were many seats open. Mustache informed me that the stadium was in it's honeymoon phase still, and the next couple years attendance will probably drop back down to normal. It's a pretty nice view, minus the goofy looking Twin City logo in the very middle (look up a closer view of it on Google), but I've been to some nicer parks like Cincinnati's that give some hometown charm with things like the steamboat, or our very own pinwheels. I did notice an ongoing Thome HR count sign straightaway center, and was glad to see they were treating the big guy with the respect he deserves.
After our resident senior citizen struck out to end the game, I dejectedly sat and watched the stadium empty out. I got nods and hat tippings from the Twains, and gave them as dirty looks as I could possibly muster while looking at their genuine smiles. It's hard to be mad at a fan base that refuses to reciprocate. I left the stadium and made my way through the downtown back to the train station, and didn't have to wait very long to get on; it was no redline postgame rush. As I looked back, I concluded that the stadium looks beautiful and unique from the outside, yet is relatively common inside the park.
All in all, Target Field is a very nice place with some nice views, and the people in Minneapolis are very nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. I don't know, call me odd, but something is wrong there, something is too...white bread. Too mayonnaise. Too soulless. Baseball, to me, is a game of hometown pride, and 'screw everyone else'. I'm not saying I wanted to go out there and throw punches, but let's just say if larry was there, he would've died from argument withdrawal. I love the Cell because I can turn to the person next to me, and argue vehemently whether or not Bobby Thigpen or Bobby Jenks meant more to the organization, instead of the person just smiling and acknowledging my argument as a 'great point!'. It was a nice day, and I really enjoyed getting away from work to see the Sox, but I can't wait until this summer is over, and I head back to the Cell for some quality September baseball. I'm not happy that the Sox leave this city going 0-2, and I wish I could've left that game with a smirk on my face, hoping this was the start of the end for them this year. They may have our number forever, and they can get into all the first round sweeps in the world, but it's still great to be a White Sox fan.
SouthSideSox is a community driven site. As such, users are able to express their thoughts and opinions in a FanPost, such as this one, which represents the views of this particular fan, but not necessarily the entire community or SouthSideSox editors.
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excellent recap
and there is nothing wrong with ketchup
I'd just as soon never hear another word from that fluttering asswheel. - RWShow
there is something wrong with it
if it is on a hot dog.
sunshiney craig's comment about me has had the effect of rendering me too self conscious to maintain my public exhibition of ennui.
Mustard, relish, diced onions, pickle spear, tomato slices and sport pepper
or GTFO
Our manager wears 13, we were supposedly cursed, and we wear black. Let's play.
you forgot the celery salt.
sunshiney craig's comment about me has had the effect of rendering me too self conscious to maintain my public exhibition of ennui.
And a Vienna Beef hot dog I hear is the best
Our manager wears 13, we were supposedly cursed, and we wear black. Let's play.
Right after the game today, I made myself three Vienna Beef Hotdogs,
on poppy seed buns, with mustard, nuclear green relish, diced tomato and onion, and coated with celery salt. My addition since I don’t have sports peppers is a bit of hot giardinera (only ya gotta pick out the carrots.)
It took a little bit of the sting away.
"That might be how you roll at Camp Anawanna, Budnick. But where I come from, we only salute Old Glory." -moroots on May 23rd
by South Side Expat on Jun 16, 2011 7:06 PM CDT up reply actions
Fuck pickle and relish. Vile shit.
I’m a pariah. I’ll go either Chi-style minus the above or just yellow-mustard+ketchup+tomato.
I love seasons too. That's why I live in a place that skips the shitty ones.
by thatshortkid on Jun 16, 2011 7:09 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
i get everything on my hotdogs and hamburgers
except mayo and mustard. fuck that shit. and ketchup is god
I'd just as soon never hear another word from that fluttering asswheel. - RWShow
Grew up in the suburbs, eh?
Beware the cure isn't worse than the disease
by Chiburb on Jun 17, 2011 5:28 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Do not lump us all together.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
I'm from Elgin and all I like on hotdogs is mustard and onions.
I hate pickles in general, I don’t like food that is soaked in shit. Fish included.
I am a lutheran simpleton fuckwit - bobpuller
My dogs feature only raw onions, pickle spears, ketchup & mustard.
Party in my mouth(hole)!
by homesickalien on Jun 17, 2011 4:32 PM CDT up reply actions
holy christ.
sunshiney craig's comment about me has had the effect of rendering me too self conscious to maintain my public exhibition of ennui.
i've been trying to figure out the reference comment for your sig to no avail.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
june 11th game thread.
i used to have a disheartening-o-meter as my sig which i changed daily but craigws shamed me into removing it.
sunshiney craig's comment about me has had the effect of rendering me too self conscious to maintain my public exhibition of ennui.
i'm very sensitive.
if i can summon the requisite inner strength it may make a return.
sunshiney craig's comment about me has had the effect of rendering me too self conscious to maintain my public exhibition of ennui.
Ugh, that's disgusting.
If I want a damn hot dog, I don’t want a salad on top of it too, ffs.
AJ Pierzynski: You have to want to catch.
by 2ndHalfAdjustments on Jun 17, 2011 10:43 AM CDT up reply actions
I'm with you on that.
Sounds like an open faced hamburger. Sounds like you Chicagoans put all kinds of crazy shit on your dogs. Mustard, ketchup, grilled peppers, relish, onions, and chili is as far as you will see anyone here go, and none of those all at once. You start throwing pickled cucumbers, pickled peppers, and celery salt on there too and you’ve got some kind of weird asstastic salad.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 17, 2011 10:50 AM CDT up reply actions
hot dogs/sausage aren't really a thing down here.
When you go to ballparks they offer you Heinz relish, Heinz Ketchup, and Heinz Mustard in those giant containers with pumps. You might find the rare place that offers diced onions and chili. Even rarer is the grilled peppers and onions. I agree with a lot of people here though. If all they got are those three Heinz condiments I’ll stick with just mustard. Not a fan of relish and ketchup on white bread is kinda gross, imo.
Here it’s all about the BBQ pork and BBQ chicken. Tailgating is where you will see some interesting things like Beaufort or Frogmore stew: http://www.carolinaliving.com/life/recipebeaufortstew.asp . Hard to find a tailgate anywhere without some stew or BBQ.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 17, 2011 1:17 PM CDT up reply actions
Yes, who doesn't enjoy the taste of tomato paste with sugar added to everything.
Throw some sriracha in the catsup and it’s acceptable for hot dog consumption.
by Ozzie Montana on Jun 17, 2011 3:29 PM CDT up reply actions
ketchup has umami.
and sriracha is overrated and it has sugar in it too.
sunshiney craig's comment about me has had the effect of rendering me too self conscious to maintain my public exhibition of ennui.
sriracha is overrated. the first 5-10 times i had it i was drunk at other peoples' houses.
i thought it was fantastic then. so i bought a bottle for my place and i don’t really use it anymore.
prefer the old louisiana hot sauce.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
this is what you want. no sugar. seems to me like sugar wouldn't really be wanted in a hot sauce.

sunshiney craig's comment about me has had the effect of rendering me too self conscious to maintain my public exhibition of ennui.
i've seen that at fox and obel. i'll grab a bottle this weekend.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
I'm also not happy that the Sox leave this city going 0-2
I was hoping for 0-3.
Good review, though in my freckly-faced opinion, the Grain Belt is pretty meh. Anything by Summit is awesome – you certainly got that right.
Lastly, I hope you got the Polish from Kramarcyk’s – it’s waaay better than that from the normal concession stands.
Only a Twins fans would write a response that long and:
1. Not swear
2. Not misspell anything
3. Give advice on the best food
They sure are a different kind of people
Our manager wears 13, we were supposedly cursed, and we wear black. Let's play.
by ChiSoxRox on Jun 16, 2011 6:25 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Deep inside he hates you all and wishes you a grisly death. Soon.
Does that make you feel better?
"The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three-run homers."
by ThreeRunHomer on Jun 16, 2011 9:07 PM CDT up reply actions
You don't even deserve a personal attack
Your user name is the epitomy of bland and unoriginal. You should feel ashamed of yourself, for trolling and biting.
I am a lutheran simpleton fuckwit - bobpuller
by Rhubarb on Jun 17, 2011 9:20 AM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
You are so Chicago!
I live in Oregon and the worst thing to happen to me in a day is to arrive at 4 way stop simultaneously as 3 others from the other directions. It becomes a game of you go – no, no you go – no, no please after you. RRRRRRRRRRRumph! People are just too damn nice!
I’ve been to Minneapolis and it’s the same.
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Mark Twain
by phastphil on Jun 16, 2011 6:34 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
That's why at four way stops, I just never stop.
Someone has to take a little initiative.
by mechanical turk on Jun 16, 2011 7:44 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
The new raven
And the Jug-eared, ever hitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the hated bust of Puckett just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a Luth’ran’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming shows six hundred soon to soar,
And my Sox from out Twins’ shadow that loom knocking on the door
Shall be lifted – NEVERMOAR!
Our manager wears 13, we were supposedly cursed, and we wear black. Let's play.
by ChiSoxRox on Jun 16, 2011 6:34 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Excellent recap, SPV2.0.
Mobile rec.
And despite his prodigious, powerful display,Battling loneliness, rage, misery
There really isn’t much else left to say.
by winningugly on Jun 16, 2011 7:32 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Nice fanpost
We used to have MN spruce trees in centerfield for hometown charm, but Morneau cut them down so we could get all those HRs we got this year.
Also, you really should wait for the ’walk" sign to cross the street.
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"God grab your neck but never choke" -Ozzie Guillen
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Jun 16, 2011 8:06 PM CDT reply actions
Morneau hates the planet
I'd just as soon never hear another word from that fluttering asswheel. - RWShow
I was there too. Sorry I missed you.
I would have bought you some BBQ ribs (Micklebob’s Ribs in center field).
Maybe next time.
what's the matter with you?
go back to hell.
sunshiney craig's comment about me has had the effect of rendering me too self conscious to maintain my public exhibition of ennui.
by BuehrleMan on Jun 16, 2011 9:39 PM CDT up reply actions 5 recs
Ya'll got BBQ ribs?
iiiiiiiinteresting.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 17, 2011 10:11 AM CDT up reply actions
Nice read.
AJ Pierzynski: You have to want to catch.
by 2ndHalfAdjustments on Jun 17, 2011 9:16 AM CDT reply actions
So awesome
Recx-N-Effect is in effects but I’m the rec’er
I am a lutheran simpleton fuckwit - bobpuller
That sky above the outside of the stadium is ridiculously blue.
It looks fake. I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s fake. Sky doesn’t look like that.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 17, 2011 10:13 AM CDT reply actions
That's the benefit of living in Minnesota.
Nice, clean air, and you can see all the stars. With no pollution from cars or factories, or light pollution of any kind, sometimes it pays to live thousands of miles from civilization.
by mechanical turk on Jun 17, 2011 12:20 PM CDT up reply actions
I can appreciate this.
Inland SC doesn’t look that clear due to all the humidity, pollen and other crap in our air.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jun 17, 2011 1:19 PM CDT up reply actions
Nice post/Recap/Dissemination on the oddities of Minnesotans
And to provide a rebuttal to said dissemination: Minnesotans do too have hometown pride: in fact, we have quite a lot of it! We just save it for the teams that deserve it. (Only joking.)
In reality, Its a mixture of politeness, and respect. We want our team to win, but we don’t want to insult your team—we’re sure they work very hard and are talented as well. (Unless it’s the Packers. The very mention of them will turn the most kind-hearted Minnesotan into a veritable Mr. Hyde!)
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
by TWinSS on Jun 17, 2011 8:33 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
between the twins and the vikings
the metrodome collapse was possibly the greatest day of my life
I'd just as soon never hear another word from that fluttering asswheel. - RWShow
I honestly thought it was quite hilarious.
Besides the great twins memories, I hold no love for that ugly marshmallow of a stadium. I never quite understood why fans from other teams thought it was such an amusing commentary on our sports teams.
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
I hate all of you for making me respect you for your hatred of the Pack.
"That might be how you roll at Camp Anawanna, Budnick. But where I come from, we only salute Old Glory." -moroots on May 23rd
by South Side Expat on Jun 18, 2011 12:45 AM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
Twins are a great team, just like the White Sox
We’re just regular people, who love baseball!
Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?

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