"Is he going to make it doc?"
"It is a rare day when a patient passes a kidney stone while I am operating on his appendix. I thought I made it perfectly clear that he not drink fluids 12 hours before the surgery."
"He's a drunk…Is he going to make it?"
"He is still in critical condition but stable. It’s a day to day situation."
"I thought this surgery was fairly straightforward, how did he take a turn for the worse."
"We had him properly anesthetized and all his vitals were normal. Things were progressing normally. As the op team normally does, we chat about current events, sports, politics during surgery. Some strange things happened to his blood pressure and heart rate when two of the nurses began debating basedballs."
"Are you sure he was out?"
"Oh, he was out alright. It was as if the very fabric of his being and soul were reacting to the conversation and that is when things took a turn for the worse and it quickly became a life or death situation."
"What were they saying."
"Well…Ally, the Cub fan nurse, couldn't help herself from saying, "Go Cubs! W, baby!" Since the Cubs had just defeated the Sox in last night's series opener. When Judy, the Sox fan nurse, tried to put her two cents in, Ally interrupted her and said, "Its all about winning baby and right now the Cubs are winning the Crosstown Classic. It's kinda like the Bears being satisfied with beating the Packers. It is all that matters."
"Oh my gosh, no!"
"I know. Usually this nurse does not engage in sports hyperbole but for some reason she became incensed. Not being all that big of a baseball fan, Ally of course chooses to follow the Cubs. You know the kind, she carries a Dolce & Gabbana purse in the crook of her elbow, she loves Appletini's and she is the staff whore. She basically enjoys trying to make others upset because she is so miserable with her existence. She likes things. Things that represent to the world that she is a part of something bigger, when all it really is, is mindless capitalism and empty ignorance."
"She's put my husband in a coma!"
"That wasn't all. She went on to tell Judy that Ozzie was a douche for kicking Soto's mask and after Judy tried to ignore her she started singing, "Go Cubs Go" underneath her breath. That's when Judy had had enough and decided to retaliate by saying they should turn Wrigley Field into the city dump. Ally came back with a ridiculous trade proposal that included Alphonso Soriano for Adam Dunn and cash.
Obviously, this was done to further anger Judy by reminding her of Dunn's recent worthlessness. Judy responded angrily that the White Sox would never make that trade and that Soriano was owed more money. Ally responded smugly, calmly and with a smile on her face; that at least Soriano had some value left in him and that he was in the top 10 in NL HR's. Judy spat back that Dunn would soon break out of his funk and that Soriano is a depreciating asset."
"The injustice of it all! How could she do this? My husband and I had plans for our future!"
"It gets worse…Ally made a comment about Ozzie mouth kissing his son and basically accused them of homosexual incest. She then went on about how the White Sox sold out to US Cellular and how they were an abomination to the purity of our nation's pastime. She told Judy that she doesn't go to Cub/Sox games on the Southside because she is afraid to be raped and have poor people stare at her beautiful tits. She said her tits were either only for men who make six figures or who wear floppy hats, cargo shorts and no shirts; who really dig the Dave Matthews Band."
"I think I am about to faint."
"What really put your husband into a coma…She told Judy, 'I'm saying this in the best way possible, I loves when the Cubs shut up the southsiders! I smell another Cubs win tonight and it smells good. DA CUBS! Bring on a W! Booooooommmmm Pena! Castro baby!!!!! Rammy and Sorri tonight! The Sox suck so much this year, Cubs rock!'"
"Judy responded by saying the White Sox are in 3rd place and trending upward and Ally told her that standings and places don't change how much the Sox suck and laughed in her face while closing with you got Ivy Envy bitch, get over it you white trash loser."
"Lord have mercy!"
"Judy murdered Ally with a bonesaw and her blood poured into your husband. Thus poisoning him. I'm sorry, I don't think there is anything we can do at this point."
*The comments from Ally were taken from facebooks friends, colleagues and family all in the past 24 hours. Its on again. Godspeed White Sox fans, godspeed......