Set to the tune of "Small Axe" by Bob Marley

Why boasteth thyself
of OBP?
Batting seventh,
And not making contact

I said, Coach Walker doesn’t have a fix

Save a new appendix (if a-so a-so)
But the goodness of PK
I-dureth for-I-ver

So if you are the Big Donk
I am a LOOGY
Ready to strike you out (he gone)
To strike you out

These are the words
Of my manager, keep on tellin' me
“Down the pipe,

And belt high.”
And whosoever throweth a slurve
You’ll flail at it (flail at it)
And whosoever throweth a slurve
You’ll flail at it (flail at it)

So if you are the Big Donk
I am a LOOGY
Ready to strike you out (he gone)
To strike you out

These are the words
Of my manager, keep on tellin' me
“Down the pipe,

And belt high.”
And whosoever throweth a slurve
You’ll flail at it (flail at it)
And whosoever throweth a slurve
You’ll swing through it (swing through it)

So if you are the Big Donk
I am a LOOGY
Ready to strike you out (he gone)
To strike you out