Predictions for the Second Half

by Old School ChiTown on Jul 13, 2011 9:00 AM CDT

Credentials

True Story - I was sitting in my friend's basement in the spring on 1977 watching TV on one of those 13" black and whites. Most of my friends were Cub fans (and still are the poor souls) but I had already moved on to the Sox. Those original South Side Hitmen made me a lifer. Anyway, both the Cubs and Sox were playing on TV - Cubs on channel 9 and Sox on UHF channel 44. We were watching the Cubs game and I turned to my friend and said, "Hey switch to the Sox game, I bet Gamble just hit a home run." Sure enough, he changes the channel and Harry is hollering while Oscar rounds the bases after uncoiling on a fastball. So now that you have my prognostication credentials. Let me give you:

13 Bold Old School Predictions for the Second Half

Jake Peavy goes on the 15-day DL for a bruised hand after a bench clearing brawl started by plunking Brandon Inge.
A Sox player with a last name starting with P, Q or R hits for the cycle
Hawk inadvertently calls "Stretch" on a long flyball hit by Justin Morneau
Someone posts "I wish we had JP batting lead-off" during a game thread followed by a chorus of "BOOO" replies (one of which is a reply fail)
Ozzie gets fined by the league for a expletive-ridden rant after a reporter asks his thoughts about a player tweet concerning a family member.
Mark Buehrle picthes one complete game shut out, gets one save, and gets one RBI.
The Sox go on an 8 game winning streak (see #1 above) and are in first place at least one day.
Adam Dunn ~~breaks the American league single season record for strike outs~~ (sorry not bold enough) hits 33.5 home runs. (Give half credit for the one he hits in a rain-out game)
Paul Konerko gets 5 walk off hits including two "put in on the board" bombs and finishes 3rd in the AL MVP voting
Four players on the current Sox roster are "he gone" by the end of the season. The Sox land at least one mysterious dude named Player of Unknown Skill
Natetheskate ~~is eaten alive (and they all rejoiced)~~ gets the hammer after politely commenting "Good Luck" during a White Sox loss to the Royals.
An innocuous fanpost spawns a scorching flame war that escalates from name calling to accusations of bigotry to threats of violent acts against close family members.
I startle my wife screaming, "NO WAY" on a Saturday morning by the pool when my MLB feed goes down with Paulie up with two on, two outs, 2-2 count in the ninth with the Sox down a run. I resolve on the spot that this is my last expatriate assignment.

Poll

Which of the predictions is most likely?

Peavy Plunking

3 votes

PQR Cycle

0 votes

Hawk "Stretch" gaffe

8 votes

JP love note

2 votes

Ozzie Tweet Rant

11 votes

MB Hat Trick

0 votes

Going Streaking

6 votes

Downtown Dunn

8 votes

Paulie! Paulie!

11 votes

Four gone

16 votes

Hammer time

6 votes

Violent bigotry

12 votes

Startled Wife

6 votes

89 votes | Poll has closed

SouthSideSox is a community driven site. As such, users are able to express their thoughts and opinions in a FanPost, such as this one, which represents the views of this particular fan, but not necessarily the entire community or SouthSideSox editors.

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Comments

Nice post

I hope half of those come true.

by Rhubarb on Jul 13, 2011 10:28 AM CDT reply actions

Nice work

MLB and Buster Onley agree

by joewho112 on Jul 13, 2011 10:46 AM CDT reply actions

I predict some adjustments to their style of play in the 2nd half of the season.

AJ Pierzynski: You have to want to catch.

by 2ndHalfAdjustments on Jul 13, 2011 12:19 PM CDT reply actions

deja vu!

White Sox 2011: The season of extraneous body parts.

by greenlight on Jul 13, 2011 12:52 PM CDT up reply actions

//

"The words "becorned can" just beminded my fuck." - SkanchoDanza

by BoeJouma on Jul 14, 2011 10:14 AM CDT up reply actions

And if you put some tin foil on the circular UHF antenna, channel 44 would get better reception.

What, no playoffs?

by oahu420 on Jul 13, 2011 12:19 PM CDT reply actions

I am convinced my eyesight is bad

because I spent too much time right next to the 13" B&W turning myself into a human antenna to improve reception on White Sox games and reruns of the Little Rascals & the Three Stooges.

Am I wrong to block out my morning calendar to follow the White Sox game?

by Old School ChiTown on Jul 13, 2011 6:03 PM CDT up reply actions

Don't forget, "The BJ and Dirty Dragon Show"

Nostalgia. (sigh)

by oahu420 on Jul 14, 2011 2:31 PM CDT up reply actions

Im familiar with BJs

but whats a dirty dragon show?

Andy Sisco has spent the last four years in a hospital bed with liquid fire shooting through his veins and small-town malcontent Jim Margalus has nothing to offer him but scorn. ~ big_fun

by e-gus on Jul 15, 2011 12:18 AM CDT up reply actions

Like a Rusty Trombone show.

by winningugly on Jul 15, 2011 2:46 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

Its more like a reverse Rusty Trombone with a Komodo dragon

by Rhubarb on Jul 15, 2011 3:52 PM CDT up reply actions

i predict- second verse, same as the first

hope im wrong

Andy Sisco has spent the last four years in a hospital bed with liquid fire shooting through his veins and small-town malcontent Jim Margalus has nothing to offer him but scorn. ~ big_fun

by e-gus on Jul 13, 2011 1:41 PM CDT reply actions

Peavy plunks somebody and gets his ass whupped.

"Rooting for the Twins is just a roundabout way of rooting for a first-round playoff bye for the Yankees." by big_fun

by Tdogg on Jul 13, 2011 3:33 PM CDT reply actions

This was fun to read thru.

i don’t think Dunn sniffs 33.5 HR

"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA

by Shoeless In SC on Jul 13, 2011 4:10 PM CDT reply actions

define sniff

by Rhubarb on Jul 13, 2011 4:16 PM CDT up reply actions

He has 9 now?

I think he’ll finish with fewer than 25.

by Shoeless In SC on Jul 13, 2011 5:29 PM CDT up reply actions

i say he'll sniff atleast 33.5 lines when all is said and done.

by Rhubarb on Jul 13, 2011 7:13 PM CDT up reply actions

And then go on to have a Josh Hamilton-like career resurgance?

I’ll take it.

by Shoeless In SC on Jul 13, 2011 7:18 PM CDT up reply actions

Yeah, I originally had it at 27.5

but thought that would not be bold enough given his career averages.

Am I wrong to block out my morning calendar to follow the White Sox game?

by Old School ChiTown on Jul 13, 2011 6:00 PM CDT up reply actions

Twins fan here

It will be a fun race between our two clubs. But to avoid the hammer, I’ll only post in Sox gamethreads when y’all are winning. No more wishing for come-from-behind Sox victories from this polite Minnesotan.

Good luck against Detroit. You can do both our teams a favor and take them down!

Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?

by natetheskate on Jul 13, 2011 6:24 PM CDT reply actions

thanks for your input

by Shoeless In SC on Jul 13, 2011 7:19 PM CDT up reply actions

do you like the Twins?

White Sox 2011: The season of extraneous body parts.

by greenlight on Jul 13, 2011 8:19 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

your days are numbered.

"He's from Chicago!"

by southside3r on Jul 13, 2011 11:51 PM CDT up reply actions

or would have been

had you stuck around

"He's from Chicago!"

by southside3r on Jul 13, 2011 11:52 PM CDT up reply actions

Thank you Mr. Skate

Honestly, with all due respect, I hope the Twins lose all the rest of their games this year by one run after leading after the 7th. I am not predicting it but I might reluctantly tell the Twins good luck in the very unlikely event that the Sox and Royals are tied for first on the last day of the season and we need the ~~Wild~~ Twain to step up with their only post-All Star win. I will even donate to the Twins’ charity if that happens.

Am I wrong to block out my morning calendar to follow the White Sox game?

by Old School ChiTown on Jul 14, 2011 7:32 AM CDT up reply actions