Kenny Williams at the Trade Deadline: a Choose Your Own Adventure Adventure
by U-God on Jul 21, 2011 12:00 PM CDT
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I've decided to try something a little different for this day off. Over the past week or so, I've been plotting out/writing a Choose Your Own Adventure story starring you as our beloved General Manager Kenny Williams. So sit back and enjoy all you computer chair GMs, this is your chance to live out July 31st at the helm of the White Sox. Your journey starts below...
"...and now you find yourself in '82..."
The sudden and somewhat unwelcome intrusion of the greatest triumph in British songwriting springs you to your feet. Is it finally here? Can it be true?
It is! Today is July 31st and it is finally el Dia de la Feche Limite de Cambios! Nothing could ruin your cheerful mood. The White Sox currently sit 3.0 games out of first place with a .500 record. As you pull into your parking spot at beautiful U.S. Cellular Field, you make your final decision as to what direction you plan on taking the team today.
Click here to make a trade.
Click here to stand pat.
Click here to make an internal move.
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Awesomeness.
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 21, 2011 12:18 PM CDT reply actions
LOL wow, good work, U.
To my knowledge, certain things were not known.
-James Murdoch
by 2ndHalfAdjustments on Jul 21, 2011 12:20 PM CDT reply actions
Adendem: You're a fucking genius.
To my knowledge, certain things were not known.
-James Murdoch
by 2ndHalfAdjustments on Jul 21, 2011 12:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Addendum..... fixed.
Effin Michigan graduate….
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 21, 2011 12:56 PM CDT up reply actions
(not a typo)
"I have no patience for the homeless. Get your old, stinky ass out!" - Terry Boers
by RWShow on Jul 21, 2011 4:46 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
enjoyable. now lets get back to hating the white sox shall we?
Kenwo4life=ratings. Just call me Mr. USA Today.
"You bet your ass I am"
Reminds me of this classic
by Yinka Double Dare on Jul 21, 2011 12:28 PM CDT reply actions 5 recs
nice.
though when i went to sell a player, i didnt have edwin or MB in mind
"The words "becorned can" just beminded my fuck." - SkanchoDanza
This is fantastic.
Too bad I have a ghost chasing me now…
3 things in life I care about
Sox, Colts, and Hawks.
Lifetime banners: '05, '07, '10
My reaction to selling players.
3 things in life I care about
Sox, Colts, and Hawks.
Lifetime banners: '05, '07, '10
by Kyle321N on Jul 21, 2011 1:14 PM CDT up reply actions 5 recs
water lillies is the best ending
although i like both trade scenarios, too, even if they are just as nonsensical as shingotj.
good stuff u-g.
and much needed after that last thread disaster.
Andy Sisco has spent the last four years in a hospital bed with liquid fire shooting through his veins and small-town malcontent Jim Margalus has nothing to offer him but scorn. ~ big_fun
Awwww I got killed by Omar.
I always die in these stupid things.
by ScottyPods Ver2.0 on Jul 21, 2011 12:44 PM CDT reply actions
Oh Shit.
Omar’s comin’.
"That might be how you roll at Camp Anawanna, Budnick. But where I come from, we only salute Old Glory." -moroots on May 23rd
by South Side Expat on Jul 21, 2011 12:44 PM CDT reply actions
I have no idea how long it took for you to do this but its fantastic!
"Rooting for the Twins is just a roundabout way of rooting for a first-round playoff bye for the Yankees." by big_fun
Deal with it!
"Rooting for the Twins is just a roundabout way of rooting for a first-round playoff bye for the Yankees." by big_fun
.
"Statistics are about as interesting as first base coaches" Jim Bouton
by Grinder Rule #42 on Jul 21, 2011 12:52 PM CDT up reply actions 10 recs
This is AWWWSUM U-God
"Statistics are about as interesting as first base coaches" Jim Bouton
by Grinder Rule #42 on Jul 21, 2011 12:53 PM CDT reply actions
I called up Viciedo first
but they were all amazing. I recommend reading them all.
Joe Buck is just White Noise to me. It’s like the game is being called by a CD of whale songs. - mechanical turk
The 5th dimension imp came out of nowhere.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
too bad dunn and rios have been out for 17 weeks
"We saw death and I don't think we fear it anymore. Not unlike 2005, when we finally clinched and then we took off in the playoffs." Coop 7/29/10
by Ahillock on Jul 21, 2011 2:29 PM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
Is there even the slimmest chance of us doing something for Aramis Ramirez, assuming that he continues to steadfastly refuse to leave Chicago?
If we don’t have to give up much for him other than $, and considering we say we’re “all in” we should with our terrible offense, it’d be better than our last Ramirez pick up.
The Cubs may be stuck with this choice: Get a win or two more thanks to Ramirez in a lost year or get some minor prospects and shed some money from their books.
I don’t think it’s very possible, but it’d help us out and be a difference maker.
Besides saying that he doesn't want to be traded
He has an option that will cost 15 million if traded, you would have to get him to waive that.
Ya, but he knows the Cubs won’t be picking it up if he’s not traded, so it seems like something could be worked out there.
And he said he didn’t want to be traded because he wants to stay in Chicago, which is why the Sox are in the best position for the trade if he stands by that.
money. and importantly guaranteed money.
$2 million buyout attached to that option. would ramirez get $15 million on the open market this offseason? probably not. but maybe he thinks could get 2 years at $20 million (not thinking about it at all, using round numbers).
in such a scenario, he could say i’ll waive that option for $3 million more (so a $5 million buyout). he’d then have achieved the same dollar value in 2012 if the option had vested, plus he gets another year guaranteed at $10 million.
I've heard he could get $36 for 3
So I think he would prefer $38 as compared to $15. Especially if he thinks he won’t produce like he has this year.
3 things in life I care about
Sox, Colts, and Hawks.
Lifetime banners: '05, '07, '10
oh man.
please stop. this thread was going so well.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 21, 2011 3:13 PM CDT up reply actions
I will stop if anybody gives me an answer as to what would be wrong with picking him up, if possible, for the rest of the season if he waives his option (which I and others have explained is not unreasonable to believe is possible).
What’s wrong with Aramis? Give a good answer and I’m done.
he's a cub.
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
by BuehrleMan on Jul 21, 2011 3:22 PM CDT up reply actions 7 recs
maybe in a twisted way
we can look at him as one of those ex-pirates who were let go and helped delay their current season for 18 years
The realist keepin it real amongst the surrealists
R.I.P. Big Homey Nate Dogg: "Cuz Iiiiiiiiii have ne-evv-ver met a giiiiiiiiiirrrrrrllllllllllllllllllll tha-at I loved in the whole wide wooorrrlllllddddddd"
by starbury_to_s-jaxci2000 on Jul 22, 2011 12:03 AM CDT up reply actions
I love the "I'll stop when you tell me why I'm wrong" line
Mostly because it usually comes after the commenter has already been told a half dozen times why he/she is wrong
Who has stated why Ramirez would be a bad deal?
I’m not asking why you think it’s unlikely, you’ve given me the reasons and although I disagree, I’m not still debating that. What I want is, if it can be done with a waiver for next year, why not?
i stated why.
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
There’s no doubt you’ve given me the best reason so far. Mostly because you’ve given me the only reason so far.
He’s not Milton Bradley, it’s not a long term deal, Morel might not be quite ready and we’re struggling so hard it might be worth it to push back a year, etc.
the sox already have ohman and pierre.
if they pick up ramirez that gives them three ex-cubs which means that when they get to the world series they will be susceptible to the ex-cub factor.
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
different position?
still a excellent hitter?
Joe Buck is just White Noise to me. It’s like the game is being called by a CD of whale songs. - mechanical turk
I just mean to point out that just because Lowell went bad, doesn’t mean Ramirez would. More importantly, the point of this line is to determine the merit of picking him up for the rest of the season, not signing him to a 3 year deal.
ramirez already went bad last year,
and, like lowell, he has a history of injuries.
paulie’s injuries haven’t been as bad (though they have effected him).
a
Joe Buck is just White Noise to me. It’s like the game is being called by a CD of whale songs. - mechanical turk
Did you see the BBC post on hated Americanisms?
If was amusing, but not as amusing as the Economists blog post about how a lot of them either aren’t American or are correct.
was that the 50 write-ins?
it balanced it decently by having a couple of people point out how the only thing constant about the english language is its state of flux.
i don't have a problem with obtaining ramirez (dependent upon circumstance, of course).
but what he could get on the free agent market is germane to this discussion because it most certainly is something his agent is focused on and would be the basis for how much money he’d want to waive the option. i don’t think he’s getting 3/$36M.
the cubs are going to want whoever takes ramirez to take on all his salary, plus buyout. is that realistic? doubtful. but ramirez isn’t so overpaid that any team acquiring him, including the white sox, wouldn’t have pay him a lot of money. and it’s questionable how much the white sox would be willing to commit.
I think that would fairly relevant if the option would be picked up regardless of the trade. I do not think it’s a very strong negotiating point for him when he says “I won’t leave Chicago” and we know that it does not get picked up if he stays with the Cubs.
huh? more than one team will inquire.
the one with the most cash is going to win. that includes the one with the most cash to ramirez.
The premise here is that he refuses to leave Chicago. So this is White Sox negotiating with Cubs only.
If he is willing to go elsewhere based on money and picking up the extra year, it’s an entirely different debate and ya, no chance for it getting done with us.
that's a lovely premise. and may be reality.
but that won’t be the story told to the white sox in their negotiations with ramirez. or the cubs.
I think we’re in a position to take a hard line here — craft a deal centered around the Chicago only theory being true. If they don’t take it, we stick with Morel and Teahen. I think that we’re in a position to get him for below fair market value is all.
and how will the WS afford all that salary?
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 21, 2011 3:44 PM CDT up reply actions
With a 2012 buy out and the remainder of this season, that puts us at $7m up.
I don’t know if we can do it, but we put something like $4m on Manny last year; I think Aramis is worth $3m more. If he’s a playoff making difference, and he could very well be with this offense, I think he’d make the money back by getting us into the playoffs. And our pitching staff is good enough to get us deep.
"worth" is not all that relevant.
white sox payroll is already substantially bigger than it was last year.
larry, larry, larry. disheartening.
i thought you knew a lot about baseball. ever hear of a little thing called “the ex-cub factor”?
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
wasn't that busted by the Diamondbacks?
by ObsidianXIII on Jul 21, 2011 10:00 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
since 1945 i think it hasn't worked three times.
60 pirates, 01 d-backs and 08 phillies.
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
So that Morel can get more experience? It’s already been suggested that maybe we should send him down to the minors to work on plate discipline, specifically.
Fear of losing prospects? Obviously we should not offer more than middle to low prospects. If Ramirez is telling the truth, and I think he does prefer to stay in Chicago rather than get traded outside of the City, the White Sox are the only option so they have a position of strength.
Money? We’ve lost a lot, we have a chance this year, if we can do it for $6 to $8m and it can get us over the offensive hump (we can move Dunn to 6 or 7 and get him more fastballs with runners on), it could be a significant deal for us.
We have Teahen to play 3rd
Listen, I am not arguing that it wouldn’t make the Sox better. I am not positive that it would, but he has had a hot bat recently. All I am saying is I don’t see it happening. The Sox are cashed starved right now.
I don't understand him at all.
He’s showing no interest whatsoever in leaving, and you’d think he’d LOVE to join a contending team. It just seems like he doesn’t give two shits.
by ScottyPods Ver2.0 on Jul 21, 2011 2:36 PM CDT up reply actions
seeming to not give two shits is often an excellent negotiating tactic.
because the other side will keep bidding against themselves to try to make you give two shits. $$$
Because it only attaches IF he’s traded. So if he wants to play for a contender, stay in Chicago, and pump up his numbers, his best bet is to waive it.
Otherwise, he’ll be with the lowly cubs, but still in Chicago, but hitting at an inferior and inconsistent hitting ballpark.
Waiver is necessary for a trade, a trade is likely in his best long term interest, hence he has an incentive to waive.
Don't. I already did this yesterday.
To my knowledge, certain things were not known.
-James Murdoch
by 2ndHalfAdjustments on Jul 21, 2011 1:50 PM CDT up reply actions
lets not ruin this post
Joe Buck is just White Noise to me. It’s like the game is being called by a CD of whale songs. - mechanical turk
The great and powerful larry has spoken.
"That might be how you roll at Camp Anawanna, Budnick. But where I come from, we only salute Old Glory." -moroots on May 23rd
by South Side Expat on Jul 21, 2011 2:27 PM CDT up reply actions 12 recs
i wouldn't be against it.
i like ramirez. he’s a good hitter and god knows we could use one of them. as long as hes going to get rid of his guaranteed money for next year i don’t have a problem with it.
i’m not sure the addition of him is going to pull us through though. but he’s better than morel and teahen.
Kenwo4life=ratings. Just call me Mr. USA Today.
ramirez: 2 wins better than more/teahen
viciedo: 1.5 win better than dunn
de aza: 1 win better than rios
at least we get a game 163. and potentially 164, i guess.
doooo it all!
Joe Buck is just White Noise to me. It’s like the game is being called by a CD of whale songs. - mechanical turk
its a pity Rhubarb is dead now
I’m sure he would’ve enjoyed this
Joe Buck is just White Noise to me. It’s like the game is being called by a CD of whale songs. - mechanical turk
by blackoutsox on Jul 21, 2011 1:34 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Hahahahaha
U-God, phenomenal man. This was priceless. Is it sad that this was the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time?
likey this
“Yes, you think whilst pensively stroking your mustache, we could always use more outfielders!”
Shirt arrived
My neighbors are happy that the protuberances from my torso are shielded from their eyes once again.
White Sox 2011: The season of extraneous body parts.
wrecked
Jim Thome sponsor(s) this page.
Highly underrated, Mark Kotsay became the best defensive designated hitter in American League history in 2010.
by onlysoxfaninbasel on Jul 21, 2011 2:00 PM CDT reply actions
well done!
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 pack of cigarettes...it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
hsa recs everything?
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 21, 2011 3:08 PM CDT up reply actions
Hasn't gotten any in 4 months?
Win It For WU!
by Chiburb on Jul 21, 2011 3:11 PM CDT up reply actions 9 recs
Holy Christ
Joe Buck is just White Noise to me. It’s like the game is being called by a CD of whale songs. - mechanical turk
by blackoutsox on Jul 21, 2011 3:14 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Lord. Have. Mercy.
"I have no patience for the homeless. Get your old, stinky ass out!" - Terry Boers
I didn't get it either.
"I am not your lady. I am not any kind of a lady!" - Aldonza
by homesickalien on Jul 21, 2011 4:00 PM CDT up reply actions
apparently, that IS what she said.
huh… life imitates art sometimes.
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 21, 2011 5:04 PM CDT up reply actions 6 recs
Very clever stuff, thanks for the laffs.
"I am not your lady. I am not any kind of a lady!" - Aldonza
This is awesome.
Though I was expecting more death.
The Great Ballparks Tour 2011! Rogers Centre August 29, Yankee Stadium September 2, Citizens Bank Park September 5, Nationals Park September 6!
Usually I find a way to die 60 different ways in these books.
I never win, unless I cheat.
by ScottyPods Ver2.0 on Jul 21, 2011 2:37 PM CDT up reply actions
I tried that one.
But I died there too. Murdered by a players union assassin.
by ScottyPods Ver2.0 on Jul 21, 2011 3:39 PM CDT up reply actions
Ouch, that's a rough outcome.
3 things in life I care about
Sox, Colts, and Hawks.
Lifetime banners: '05, '07, '10
This is the best thing I've ever read on here.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 21, 2011 2:53 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Probably Rhubarb's "Inferstructure". Exceptional and unexpected.
Best image ever posted was Jim’s first “Che” picture that spawned the shirt. I was crying laughing for about 15 minutes.
This one is in the top 3.
The post (and the entire thread) of "Cheat's reign of dereliction must end"
is remarkable. Rhubarb’s stories are great. Not to put anyone else down, but this is my favorite.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 21, 2011 3:28 PM CDT up reply actions
the MS paint threads are always a blast too.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 21, 2011 3:32 PM CDT up reply actions
knew it was something like that:
http://www.southsidesox.com/2010/11/18/1821852/the-cheats-dominion-of-dereliction-must-end
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 21, 2011 3:35 PM CDT up reply actions
I could read that 200 times,
And I’d laugh out loud all 200.
by ScottyPods Ver2.0 on Jul 21, 2011 4:01 PM CDT up reply actions
pageviews are all that matters.
you want to be the darling of the underground, have fun living in elgin.
by larry on Jul 21, 2011 4:12 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Living in Elgin is like living anywhere else
minus nice scenery, decent people and exceptional culture. That being said, this story kicks the nuts of any of my stories. I also thought the Dominion of Dereliction post was of the highest quality. While the baseball analysis stuff is good, it would be nice to see more of this kind of stuff from you guys.
Elgin has one of the top 10 municipal golf courses in the country
At least as ranked by GolfWeek. And another one in the top 30. As a result I think I’ve been to Elgin more this year alone than in the rest of my life.
by Yinka Double Dare on Jul 21, 2011 6:09 PM CDT up reply actions
Rockford at one point had the best public courses in the entire nation
Still tons of great courses (Aldeen is great)… City of Rockford: Ignore the starving children, go play golf!
http://www.aldeengolfclub.com/
It calls itself a “Club” but it is public. Couple of really good restaurants nearby, you could make a day out of it.
atta boy, u-dog.
big ups!
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
by BuehrleMan on Jul 21, 2011 3:22 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
is that a gaiman reference on the funeral pyre?
forgive me if a) i’m way off base, or b) it’s so obviously right that i’m a fool to ask
fantastic, either way
he just finished American Gods
so…possibly
So fast he could hit a ball up the middle and it would hit him in the ass sliding into second.
so awesome
one complaint: no way morel uses his powers and only gets a .900 ops in AAA. .950 minimum!
that was some serious fun
Where the white women at?
Dew point of 59 here with temp at 106
"We saw death and I don't think we fear it anymore. Not unlike 2005, when we finally clinched and then we took off in the playoffs." Coop 7/29/10
Aramis is a dog!!
He doesn’t hit when it counts & he’s a Cub. Aramis, Dunn & Rios might be the the 3 biggest loafers in baseball. Sox fans deserve better.
My favorite ending is when you broke the 4th wall.
Although i suspect I have not meandered through all options. I think rather than go through everything at once. I will do it one day at a time to stretch the luxury.
That was an homage to Vonnegut.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
This is my highlight of the 2011 season.
A far more impressive performance than any seen at the Cell. Bravo, and thank you.
I got a rock
in the head from the Old Man. From DFA to DOA, things went downhill quickly.
Thanks for distracting me from real life for a bit. Good work.
White Sox 2011: The season of extraneous body parts.
lol
I tried to register as Mr. H Light – never got passed the registration process – I wonder why.
anyway you ever seen Francis Bacons Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion? – it really is extraordinary
by jah rasta man on Jul 21, 2011 5:53 PM CDT up reply actions
wtf. i keep getting eaten by a grue.
I love seasons too. That's why I live in a place that skips the shitty ones.
Things appear to still be quiet
oh to be a fly on Kenny’s wall right now, something tells me he is working the phones
hes at the museum with ozzie
Andy Sisco has spent the last four years in a hospital bed with liquid fire shooting through his veins and small-town malcontent Jim Margalus has nothing to offer him but scorn. ~ big_fun
This is exceptional! Big
"Good teams win games. Bad teams have meetings."
by BobbySouthSide on Jul 21, 2011 6:17 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
This is exceptional! Big mobile rec
Great time filler for my endlessly slow journey on the rock island line this evening. FU Metra, you never get me there on time.
"Good teams win games. Bad teams have meetings."
by BobbySouthSide on Jul 21, 2011 6:19 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
just be glad you werent in the first car city bound at 4pm leaving the T P.
Andy Sisco has spent the last four years in a hospital bed with liquid fire shooting through his veins and small-town malcontent Jim Margalus has nothing to offer him but scorn. ~ big_fun
This
Is your Magnum Opus. Another great moment in the history of this site.
What?! I ain't no Professor Pickles!
I was kind of scared of that.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
Thanks to everyone for the nice comments.
I had a blast writing this over the past week (I don’t even want to think of how many hours) and am happy everyone seemed to enjoy it.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
Well... its no 'Bill of Lading'....
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 21, 2011 8:26 PM CDT up reply actions
again you deserve it
this was grade a man
"Rooting for the Twins is just a roundabout way of rooting for a first-round playoff bye for the Yankees." by big_fun
If any of the weird references confuse you, I might explain.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
Damnit! The Artist does NOT explain his work!
It either stands on its own and speaks for itself, or it doesnt. (gets off soap box)
Brilliant job- dont get me wrong, but dont explain it please.
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jul 21, 2011 9:27 PM CDT up reply actions
If people want it explained
they can email me.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
It is awesome
I can’t imagine how many hours you spent on it. Thank you.
by JimJF on Jul 21, 2011 9:29 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
around 12 or so
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
I spent like 3 hours drawing that pic of the Cell in MS Paint.
This is much more prolific. Well done.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 21, 2011 10:19 PM CDT up reply actions
This is awesome
Well-played.
"i told her i was masturbating but she walked in and caught me BMO ing." - e-gus
so i got popped scarface style?
Five years later, you’ve constructed a championship team out of the once lowly Guerreros de Oaxaca. You smile and relax. You finally feel at peace, not realizing that the Vaqueros Laguna were back by the cartels. You never hear the hitmen coming..
The realist keepin it real amongst the surrealists
R.I.P. Big Homey Nate Dogg: "Cuz Iiiiiiiiii have ne-evv-ver met a giiiiiiiiiirrrrrrllllllllllllllllllll tha-at I loved in the whole wide wooorrrlllllddddddd"
by starbury_to_s-jaxci2000 on Jul 22, 2011 12:08 AM CDT reply actions
You know, I usually wouldnt' bitch about something like this
but really SBN? These three articles were better than this?
http://www.sbnation.com/2011/7/22/2287958/best-of-the-sb-nation-network-july-21-2011
Fuck you overlords. Fuck you.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
meh, don't worry too much
some of the best works didn’t get noticed until the authors died.
Seriously, this is something to look back on in the dead(s) of winter. Perhaps a sequel?
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 pack of cigarettes...it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
I can probably try over winter break.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
winter stove meetings
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
by Shoeless In SC on Jul 22, 2011 1:16 PM CDT up reply actions
Again, some of it is obscure,
and much of it is “inside” humor. And no one other than us cares about the White Sox. We are your audience, U-G. Deal.
by winningugly on Jul 22, 2011 10:00 AM CDT up reply actions
dont sweat it
i dont think this was featured either.
i guess they didn’t read awesome pick-a-path books as a kid.
So, I say this more with admiration than anything else: I love that Kenny Williams went out and acquired the two worst players in the American League so far this year. - Joe Posnanski
they probably didn't get it
some of the stories were insideish
Joe Buck is just White Noise to me. It’s like the game is being called by a CD of whale songs. - mechanical turk
by blackoutsox on Jul 23, 2011 12:02 PM CDT up reply actions
40th Rec, whooo hoo!!
Awesome post U-God. Definitely one of the highlights in the sites history.
"I don't give a flying f**k who you think I look like"
And I'd like to give Colin a big thanks for being my sounding board the entire time I was writing this.
Carlos Beltran couldn’t have died without you buddy.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
Came over from Twinkie Town
Specifically to tell you how AWESOME this post is! I am truly impressed.
Kindof off topic:
I went to a hippy dippy arsty fartsy grade and middle school (Keith School for the Rockfordians) and we took lots of field trips. During a seventh grade field trip to the Chicago art museum, I observed a very strange girl in my class (named Jennifer Fred) reach and touch the Water Lillies painting. Despite being warned over and over again by our teachers to “not touch” she just had to go an do it. Not her finest moment and for some reason will always be etched into my brain.
This is why I visit this site
Even though I root for the Minnesota Twins.
It's really hard to pick which outcome entertained me the most.
"You go up there, against a dog-ass line up AND pitcher, and you don’t do a fucking thing with it. They whip your silly, sorry, saggy ass AGAIN, and you look like fucking bottom-ass, bitch-ass chumps doing it." - 2HA
This was great
I think the Crede ending was my favorite.
White Sox Baseball: We're (Still) All Ineffective
Chicago Rush: Central Division Champions
Just. Plain. Awesome!
It’s taken years of practice to be such an asshole.
by Chiburb on Jun 1, 2010 10:35 AM PDT
this story is actually more about entering some of the different compartments of ugod's brain where he keeps stored knowledge.
reality is a self-referential loop and sometimes people open theirs for public view and wind up enriching other peoples realities.
I kind of want to upload the flowchart that was behind the post
so you can all see the weird sweeping changes that came with the plotting. Juan Pierre was a lot more involved and most of the endings were far less bizarre.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
That was the most awesome thing ever !!
Between this and the Der Twain posts, I am glad I joined such a fine crew.
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