RRRR: Never the Twain Shall Meet


Rudyard Kipling said,

"Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet."

What Kipling meant was 'two things that are so different have no chance to ever unite.'  This couldn't be further from the truth.  This was written in the late 19th century and times have changed.  Due to the advent of rapid transportation and lightning fast telecommunications, whether we like it or not, humanity is now a part of a global community.  Never before in history has there ever been as much tolerance to difference in opinion, race, religion, culture, etc...  This is so true that language, literature, music and art from different cultures are mixing to create a melting pot of sorts, just as human genetics appear to be doing.  Of course there are people that fight against or don't believe this to be true, the enlightened call them the ignorant.

However.......there are two areas in particular that will always resist each other, never unite, continue in their contradiction and the gap will inevitably grow wider and wider as generations pass:  White Sox baseball and Twain baseball.  I dislike the Twain more than any other organization in sports, shit...I dislike the Twain more than any other thing on Earth.

Twain fans will always bring to the table a relentlessly faux, sunny disposition and even-keeled nature.  Their smiles are stapled to their cheek bones.  Underneath that Pleasantville facade they harbor as deep a hatred for us we do for them.  We both assign truthful and false generalizations to each others fandom...we are crass, drunk and ignorant blue-collar workers...they are freckly-faced Lutheran do-gooders who play with model trains and eat their peas with a knife.  They are fake people, they are plastic, they are two-dimensional, you can find them standing next to a mom & pop general store standing in line to purchase the new flavor of custard.

My question to you people is:  What do you hate?  Why do you hate it?  Is it healthy or cathartic?  What made you this way?  Is it ignorance, nature, nurture or opinion.

Also, I would be curious to know, what are your favorite oxymorons?  What are the most absurd figures of speech containing two contradictory ideas?  What are some other things in culture that you would never find in the same fondu pot of culture?

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