2011: A Stream of UnConsciousness Recap

I can't fucking wait for the season to start, this is gonna be the best year eva!  Look who we gots in our lineups, this is gonna be awesome, YES! look at that lineup, Dunn is gonna be great, Q! is all good again, I can't wait for the next game, I hate having the first tuesday of the season off,  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, fuck you podsnoir, easy heat you son of a fucking bitch, not you too Sale!  What happened to Donkey? that appendix surgery got him out of his inevitable late spring training groove, it's okay, he'll be fine, small sample size, thanks for talking me off the ledge craig, fuck you soxfanCT you curse every gamethread you involve yourself in, oh fuck Humber is pitching, well….that went well…maybe we can make it until peavey comes back, I hope he shuts his mouth and holsters his six-shooters, that sure would be nice, man this team makes me drunk, is mechanicalturk really an expat soxmachinist? What the fuck was he doing hanging out with those puds?  Humber for Cy Young, the best sixth starter in the league, how could the Royals not have signed him when they have Bruce Chen on their roster? Why are you making him bunt?  Why!? Its still early in the season, no reason to panic it’s a long summer,  Catch the fucking ball you assholes, bacon looks like a young steve sax in the field but a poor man's Mike Gallego at the plate, he'll get hot, speaking of hot look at Alexei out of the gates for once, 20 HR's from the missile,  Lillibridge is our best player! Wow, he fucking sucks, no doubt about it…tdogg is worried about sandancer, should I be too?  Nah, the guy gets paid too much money to suck a taint biscuit all season, why does Donkey swing through all these pitches?  Does he need lasik?  Nah, he does this all the time, he's a lock for 30 HR's, what the fuck catch the fucking ball outfielders, maybe kenwo was right about having Viciedo up to start the season but Q! has been hitting the piss out of the ball, maybe they could put him in left since Pierre keeps getting thrown out and dropping balls, man he looks like shit, who the fuck is Masterson and how could we let the twain no-hit us?  Fuck my life, the Indians are going to run away with this, yeah right!  The Twins will be right there, we should edge them out once we start hitting the ball, we shouldn't have a closer but if we do Santos looks like he should be the guy, easy heat and podsnoir singlehandedly have us double digits out of first, wasting good starting pitching, Peavy looked great in his first start maybe we should make him the closer since Humber is an all-star pitcher, it’s a long summer no reason to panic, herr teahenz has sure looked good at the plate, maybe I don't hate him as much as I thought and he is clean in the field too, maybe we should trade him and Edwin Jackson for Colby Rasmus, that makes a lot of sense, if we can't do that maybe we should just trade them for some hair, Q should be traded for a Beachy since we need a 7th starter, the White Sox management sure are geniuses for a 6 man rotation, lets make Beachy our closer, Bruce fucking Chen, we're still close, we'll put together an extended streak, the division is ours to win off paper and on, it goes without saying, hope, hope, hope, I smell .500 and it smells like a polish sausage, even a blind squirrel finds a nut, who is on first? .500?  what's on second? A 10 game losing streak, it was dumb to bunt there, what's our stolen base ratio? Donkey is a fat fuck, this guy can't DH, his brain hurts too much when he DH's, we should bench him but how can we bench a contract, sandancer might have to be benched too…too many DP's (twprs), KW wants to bench 56 million but no one listens because he can't understand English, jesus fucking Christ bench those fucks, they'll probably bring up Viciedo after the allstar break, blog guys don't know anything but every thing will be fine soon because we don't suck, this is an 87 win team, Donkey is the worst player in the history of the game I think, he needs to be cut to save money or maybe we could save money on bunts, we own the Twain!  The twain curse is over, what the fuck is this lineup, Cy Humber? No longer, Cy Chen, why can't we hit soft-tossing lefties? Check your facts craig, we're only a couple of games out, Verlander, bobpuller, verlander, VMart is so awesome wish we had signed him to catch fulltime, Deaza is our best player way to beat Scherzer singlehandedly, where is the pimpchrist for fucksake? I hate Ozzie and I blame KW for making me hate Ozzie, I hate Ozzie, does Ozzie hate me? it sure seems like he hates me, personally, why the fuck would you bunt him over there?  thank god the worst player in MLB history is batting cleanup, he'll turn it around, he needs to stop eating cheeseburgers and swing a stick, even on Christmas!, you suck, fuck!  A new contract?  Go fuck yourself, you suck, you make every player who plays for you suck more, way to fuck everything up, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck, can we trade Ozzie for a month of Pujols? Cy Humber not Chen!  will our record be better than the cubs record? when are the sox playing?  are they on TV? Finally!

Watching this team made me stupid