More productive

Comfortable

Not drinking too much

Regular exercise at the gym (lifting bats in the offseason)

Getting on better with your associate contemporaries

At ease

Eating well (no more Red Baron pizzas and frozen lobsters)

A patient better hitter

A safer bet (bonus baby smiling at second)

Sleeping well (no Mauer nightmares)

No paranoia

Careful with all lineups (never hitting Rios higher than fifth)

Keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)

Will frequently check wild card standings (2013 draft order).

90's infielders for managers

Fond but not in love

No killing rallies or batting Dunn against lefties

Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate

Nothing so childish

At a better pace

Quicker and more cutters

No chance of escape

Now self-employed

Concerned (but powerless)

An empowered and ill-informed member of society (sensationalism not journalism)

Will not cry in public

Less chance of injury

Tarps made slippery in the wet (shot of baby sliding over infield)

A good memory

Still cries at a good film

No longer kisses with saliva

No longer empty and frantic

Like Alex Rios' OBP

Or Jake Peavy's bulldog mentality

The ability to laugh at weakness

Calm

Fitter, healthier and more productive

Peavy

On a pitch count

No longer needing antibiotics

Welcome to the 2012 White Sox.

(Tremendous tip of the hat to the ever amazing Jon Bois for the years old inspiration)