2012 White Sox Baseball Slogans: Its Time.
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jan 4, 2012 4:21 PM CST
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Yes, the bleak midwinter is nigh upon us, and the ellipses have come home... to roost. What is there to do... to pass the dull dreary days of dark demented dour doldrums, save contemplate faux marketing hilarity?
Come now ye bespectacled, ye downtrodden, ye yearning to wit free, and cast your lingual net wide, perhaps to snare the elusive greening, the entertainment of your friends, and the envy of all Dutchmen.
To get thy sloganeering juices flowing, I give you after the jump, a few off the cuff efforts of my own paltry hand. Upon their reading, you will certainly say- "I can fucking do better than THAT Lizardo"... which is of course... My... Entire... Plan.
WSB- We've got 27 players!
WSB- Cadaverous Boners!
WSB- Maybe you have heard of us?
WSB- And Then there were 2....
WSB- Cause you have to bitch about SOMETHING!
WSB- All in... to the Elbow!
And
Here
We
GO!!!
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WSB: The '57 Chevy of maritime transportation options.
The lords of dawn are men such as Mr. Lucy.
by Uribe Down on Jan 4, 2012 6:19 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
WSB: Have you seen the Twins?
What?! I ain't no Professor Pickles!
by 67WMAQ on Jan 4, 2012 7:25 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
WSB: You Think Kenny's Bad? Try Working For Randy!
"People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage."
John Kenneth Galbraith
No thanks; she already dropped out.
We play on the "bad" side of town, we were supposedly cursed, and we wear black. Let's play.
Hahaha!
That’s great!
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"Tell Gardy there's nobody around to protect him now." Ozzie Guillen
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Jan 8, 2012 8:43 PM CST up reply actions
WSB- Cause you have to bitch about SOMETHING!
This. Because that’s been the whole offseason here, and is setting the tone for 2012. I’m of an age where I just want to enjoy the games played by my favorite team in my favorite sport. Yeah, “Kenny should do this”. “Kenny should be fired”. All fine and good, and if 2012 turns into 2007 I’ll join you. Until then, I think the subject slogan is appropriate for the masses here.
"People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage."
John Kenneth Galbraith
by Chiburb on Jan 4, 2012 7:25 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
are you bitching about the bitching?
by Shoeless In SC on Jan 4, 2012 7:34 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
weird huh?
"Rhubarb, if you wouldn’t mind, ram your taint into your monitor as hard as you can." - joewho112
WSB: Jerry will send you back in time to 1978 and then you'll have something to cry about!
EDITOR’S NOTE: this will create the world’s longest banner.
What?! I ain't no Professor Pickles!
Needs a plane to fly it over the Cell.
"People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage."
John Kenneth Galbraith
But its a small plane
so it can’t keep the banner horizontal and it catches on the upper deck. The pulling from the banner overwhelms the already stressed plane’s engines which now decide its an excellent time to stall into an oil burning flurry to create a arch of black smoke that sidles over the grounds like a drunken, jerk of a rainbow. This toxic morass finally settles into a bow from short center field to over the first base side of the upper deck.
At the base of the arch a dull slice appears in the air. The air looks ragged, as if the fabric of the universe itself were a stressed balloon that had been rent. Out from the rent space appears yeoman forms of Dunn, Rios, Beckham, Morel, Sale the entire team. These forms are matte in finish and imprecise in edging. They are not the stars that shine brightest; they are not the voices that elate; they are the Platonic forms of grinding and they are here to reinforce what exists.
WSB: Plantonic Ideal of Grinding
by coffeepac on Jan 4, 2012 10:58 PM CST up reply actions 9 recs
Maybe we need another Rhubarb writing contest.
“Double drunken jerk of a rainbow! What does it meeeean? Oh.”
The lords of dawn are men such as Mr. Lucy.
I was going to do that sometime after the 15th
Maybe 4 people will participate this time!
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
I am halfway thru a "Hawk Discovers Facebook" story.
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jan 5, 2012 12:23 AM CST up reply actions
Perfect
Im the only judge this time and the winner gets a dave martinez signed baseball. 2nd place gets to goto a game with me.
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
Win or die writing.
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jan 5, 2012 9:34 AM CST up reply actions
NO MORE FROZEN LOBSTERS
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
WSB: that of the 15 player bullpen.
"Rhubarb, if you wouldn’t mind, ram your taint into your monitor as hard as you can." - joewho112
WSB: Dunn Stop Believing
We play on the "bad" side of town, we were supposedly cursed, and we wear black. Let's play.
by ChiSoxRox on Jan 4, 2012 8:16 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
WSB: Don't stop the bleeding.
The lords of dawn are men such as Mr. Lucy.
by Uribe Down on Jan 4, 2012 9:33 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
WSB: We still have elotes on the concourse...
Well, boys, it's a round ball and a round bat and you got to hit the ball square. ~Joe Schultz, 1969
by zevsenesca on Jan 4, 2012 9:22 PM CST via Android app reply actions
WSB: Even Our Slogans Suck.
We're all here because we're not all there.
by winningugly on Jan 4, 2012 9:25 PM CST reply actions 7 recs
nice
Where the white women at?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M
by parkernutws05 on Jan 14, 2012 8:11 PM CST up reply actions
WSB: For 16 days this Summer, you can watch the Olympics instead
by South Side Expat on Jan 4, 2012 10:19 PM CST reply actions 7 recs
And I now realize how much time I've spent on here.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
WSB: We Play Baseball?
whatever it doesn't matter anymore.
by pierzynskirules on Jan 4, 2012 11:06 PM CST reply actions
WSB: A Modest Proposal
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
by Rhubarb on Jan 5, 2012 12:08 AM CST reply actions 3 recs
i wish swift was a white sox beat reporter.
i have been assured by a very knowing american of my acquaintance in london, that a young healthy lillibridge well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and i make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasie, or a ragoust.
by craigws on Jan 5, 2012 12:19 AM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Dunn? Try a little Dunn?
He’s fatty, but just lovely on a bun..
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jan 5, 2012 12:27 AM CST up reply actions
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
Or the Conservation of Consonants
2011: All In
2012: An Ill
This law also explains why, in Britain, they do the maths while watching sport.
Alternately, in light of the bullpen upheaval...
WSB: Death By A Thousand Cotts
by Secret Chimp on Jan 5, 2012 4:51 AM CST reply actions 2 recs
WSB: All Your Base Are Belong To Us.
by FlyingSpaghettiMonster on Jan 5, 2012 5:21 AM CST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
I think that's actually the slogan of opposing base stealers when AJ's behind the plate.
by Yinka Double Dare on Jan 5, 2012 2:39 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I clap any time his songs come on.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
by U-God on Jan 5, 2012 9:24 AM CST up reply actions 4 recs
WSB: Died Trying
apologies for the second entry.
WSB: AWGTHTGTATA?
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 pack of cigarettes...it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
WSB: turning americans into soccer fans
Kenwo4life=ratings. Just call me Mr. USA Today.
by KenWo4LiFe on Jan 5, 2012 1:01 PM CST reply actions 10 recs
You can put it in the net?
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jan 5, 2012 1:26 PM CST up reply actions
i was going to go to a very similar place, just hadn't gotten around to it yet. was going to be something like
2012 WSB: at least the euros are this summer.
or
2012 WSB: most people agree it’s better than watching soccer.
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
and green...
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 pack of cigarettes...it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
WSB: Sale and Kon' and pray for Hahn
So fast he could hit a ball up the middle and it would hit him in the ass sliding into second.
I prefer the more muted "Rios and Dunn and pray for assisted suicide."
The lords of dawn are men such as Mr. Lucy.
WSB: Rios and Dunn and load the gun.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
by MarketMaker on Jan 5, 2012 5:25 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
Unless Peavy's pulling the trigger, in which case he's likely to break his finger
We play on the "bad" side of town, we were supposedly cursed, and we wear black. Let's play.
WSB: For The Win
(A while back, I was thinking about what I would seriously come up with if this were my job, rather than retroactively mocking what the marketing team settles on. That’s what I got.)
Why buy the cow when the milk is kinda bitchy?
WSB: Because this summer ain’t gonna suck itself.
Why buy the cow when the milk is kinda bitchy?
by SkanchoDanza on Jan 5, 2012 1:34 PM CST reply actions 8 recs
WSB
WSB: We don’t rebuild, we reload.
RECENT BOX SCORES
ADAM DUNN DH/1B
7 1/3 1HR 2K
60 0/4 4K
by Chicago Pride 2005 on Jan 5, 2012 2:07 PM CST reply actions
reloading? where?
whatever it doesn't matter anymore.
by pierzynskirules on Jan 5, 2012 2:16 PM CST up reply actions
Do it with diagonal black and white stripes in the background, and:
WSB: Thank you for shopping at Ventura.
by Yinka Double Dare on Jan 5, 2012 2:45 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
With apologies to the Beasties
Long distance from contention, and they’re playing in the Cellular
They said that they were trying and we said “yeah, the hell you were.”
by Yinka Double Dare on Jan 5, 2012 2:52 PM CST reply actions
WSB: Old habits are hard to break.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
WSB: Still beats spending time with your family.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
by MarketMaker on Jan 5, 2012 5:28 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
WSB: You guys want this or American Gladiators?
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
WSB: Dadgummit
We play on the "bad" side of town, we were supposedly cursed, and we wear black. Let's play.
2012 WSB: who needs two?
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
and mrs. buehrleman's entry
2012 WSB: it’s gonna happen
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
by BuehrleMan on Jan 5, 2012 10:45 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Is that a hopeful "it's gonna happen," like the Sox are playoff bound?
Or is it more like “WSB: This is a thing.”
The lords of dawn are men such as Mr. Lucy.
that's the beauty of it.
but i believe the main meaning intended could translate to something like “they’re going to play and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.”
"michael gilhaney is an example of a man that is nearly banjaxed from the principal of the atomic theory. would it astonish you to hear that he is nearly half a bicycle?" ~~ sergeant pluck
Yeah, I like it.
WSB: It is what it is.
(to anger about 80% of the populace… just like WSB!)
The lords of dawn are men such as Mr. Lucy.
2012 WSB: Whatever That May Be.
Fixed.
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 pack of cigarettes...it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
WSB: Our bad. We really thought the world was gonna end.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
by MarketMaker on Jan 6, 2012 12:07 AM CST reply actions 5 recs
This is fantastic on so many levels.
Especially since it is penned by an Italian, who I would surmise knows little about Mayan prophecies. ;)
Dig the timestamp, too.
We're all here because we're not all there.
It could be read that way.
I prefer the Harold Camping version, though. A tad more psychotic, so it fits better.
The lords of dawn are men such as Mr. Lucy.
Or...
WSB: Fahrenheit .451 (The temperature at which fandom burns)?
by Yinka Double Dare on Jan 10, 2012 5:00 PM CST up reply actions
in theory sounds great, can't wait to have me some orange pie...
the first bite will taste like shit but I have to eat the whole pie to prove that I could. Once the pie is finished it makes me want to vomit.
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
WSB: Relegated to AAAA Toronto
i enjoy drinking beer
by SteveKerr on Jan 9, 2012 9:29 AM CST reply actions 2 recs
WSB: Back Up That Ass.
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jan 11, 2012 10:00 PM CST up reply actions
WSB: Fold
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 pack of cigarettes...it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
WSB: We'll do the crime, you do the time.
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 pack of cigarettes...it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
by lastof12 on Jan 10, 2012 12:56 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
WSB: foresight is 2020
"Statistics are about as interesting as first base coaches" Jim Bouton
by Grinder Rule #42 on Jan 12, 2012 1:14 PM CST reply actions
WSB- Desperados Under the Eaves.
"His Load got Sloppy" Colintj
by DrEmilioLizardo on Jan 12, 2012 11:47 PM CST up reply actions
WSB: We're All In...at least through mid-May
WSB: The circus has moved on to Miami
WSB: Oney-free since 2012
WSB: Come see the last of the 2005 players before they are gone!
"They're a dead team walkin'." - Joe Cowley commentary on the Sox 2012 rebuilding year (WSCR interview, 12/7/11)
WSB: I Hate Tim Tebow
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
by Rhubarb on Jan 14, 2012 9:24 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
WSB: YOU GOT TO BE BLEEPING ME!
COURTEOUS OF WADDLE AND SILVY SHOW.
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