It's been nine days and almost a thousand comments, but someone's gotta take out the trash. Sometimes I feel like I do all the heavy lifting on South Side Sox from 12-4 AM on Sundays. It ain't easy, believe you me.

Do you like dags? Here, watch this video.

On Monday, I have an appointment to wash one of these beasts. Admittedly, the ones in the video look a bit bigger than my family pooch; most of those look like males. It's no easy chore; besides taking two people to physically lift her into the tub, she looks absolutely miserable for the solid 45 minutes it takes to get her "clean," which is usually ends up being marginally cleaner and less stinky compared to her normal state. Oh, and the hair... holy lord, the hair. It never ends. But what can I do? She's just so damn lovable, and even more so when slightly cleaner.

So have at it, Rumpuniers, Rumpafarians and Rumpatarians. Just so it's not lost towards the end of an enormous thread, I say we start by giving Shoeless some quality doing-things instruction and introduction to our fair city. Step 1: Take in a Sox game. Step two: cry at the beauty of it all (and because Bruce Chen crushed your one wish for the week). Step 3: see the Bean, because it's there. Step 4 is up to the rest of you. I'm spent.