High and Tight on the Mendoza Line
No. A rare, abrasive, FOG dissipated in the Phoenix valley giving way to a cloudless sky. Parts of last year's model had been deteriorated and sloughed off. The incessant abrasion seems to have roughened the surface leaving gouges in places that never should have existed. Even the most jaded of sourpusses, witnessing the players pitch in the pasture, agree the plague on the house had been lifted and having him gone we have gained nothingness once again!
The void will fill with something else but in the exalted shutout of the present there are rejuvenating properties. The players take one crisp breath of air at a time; second by second they realize their existence and their purpose, which had been concealed from them the past several years. There is now room to stretch within the enthusiasm of a paradise regained. In order to find the respite of an earthly heaven, one sometimes has to trudge through a metaphorical hell.
The beast has been slain but he wrote a bestselling fiction with his two mouths. The one good thing about revisionist history is that you don't have to try to not repeat it because it never happened in the first place. The date-rapist can't harm you anymore, he's behind palm tree bars and he's off the streets. His threats against your family no longer merit any concern, he is gone forever…
"I know this is a lil' off-base but iss a whole 'nother ballgame Paul," breathed Gordon.
"It’s a whole 'nother ballgame within a ballgame, within a ballgame. Let's not forget that," hummed Konerko between a catch…and a throw.
"Shoeer Paul. I'm juss glad to be here playin' catch with 'bridge, that's all. I mean, I'm playing catch and that’s it, there's nothin' else 'cept the future. The lass few years I ben feelin' like I ben constantly missin' third base. Now it feels like I'm coverin' all bases no problem but I'm feelin' aimless like there ain't no direction."
"Gordon, breathe once will you? You smell that?"
"Huh, smell what?"
"Quit playing hardball, Gordon. The freshly cut grass, the oil on your glove, your uniform, Danks' chaw…its called freedom! You can breathe once again."
"I remember this feelin' back in Joejah, I think but I doan think its right, I'm a professional, I'm not supposed to feel free, he was doing right by me" quiet tears streaming down his face.
"Its called Stockholm Syndrome, you're expressing empathy for your captor and even defending him, you need to purge yourself of these demons. He can't hurt your OPS anymore."
Gordon begins to weep hysterically and Paul embraces him like a father figure, personalities DO exist on this team, "Let it all out Gordon, let it all out. There, there."
Lillibridge leans awkwardly, hand on hip, with an affectionate smirk on his sympathetic face. Suddenly, his body went rigid and he began looking over his shoulder but then reminded of the fresh calmness in the air. He relaxed his muscles and soaked in the moment. He couldn't help thinking about the present as it would have been in the past. This kind of display of affection would have frowned upon. In times gone by, affection and understanding were empty words with no action unless the action was to belittle or threaten in the future. There was no trust or collaboration once the lies were exposed and the mouth opened to say, "look at me." Maybe Jenks, Swisher and Javy didn't deserve it. As the first few sentences in this new chapter are written, the players actually have a say in what happens in the story or at least that is the current perception.
Robin, watching from the perch of his unicycle, wheels over to the scene. "What the hell do you guys think you are doing!?! This is a baseball field we're on here; do you not have any respect? This should be a group hug! Everyone dog pile!" As Robin reached the apex of his jump, eclipsing the morning sun in all its glory, all the players begin to realize Robin is actually serious about not being too serious. Slowly, players throw their hats and gloves into the air and start hooting and hollering and following Robin into the dog pile. The collective feeling of captivity that somehow oozed into Spring Training 2012 from the previous season began to dissipate in that 40-man dog pile. The energy and overall feeling of well-being and optimism became almost euphoric.
Deep in the depths of the dogpile, AJ army crawls through the mish-mash of bodies and thrashing limbs, stalking his way towards Rios like a pirate scaling a rope ladder with a knife in his mouth. He had received his directive and he aimed to accomplish it efficiently. AJ grabs Rios from behind and puts his right arm into an armlock, quickly he hyper-extends his elbow until it gives away, letting out an anguished pop. Rios screams and writhes in agony, not understanding how this could have heppenedhappened. Parent steps in, yelling at everyone to stop and brushes players off the pile like a normal human would brush dandruff off their shoulders.
"What is it Alex? A charley horse?" asks Robin, intentionally putting his foot in the bucket.
As the team settles down the euphoria still exists but there on the ground in short right field is poor Rios with his ulnar collateral ligament permanently disfigured. No one on the team enjoys seeing a teammate in excrutiating pain and everyone starts to feel a modicum of blame for the injury but in the recesses of their consciousness, each and every one of them breathes a sigh of relief. Herm drags Rios off the field as he whines like a little bitch and no one ever sees him again. He retires to his palatial estate in Puerto Rico with his moneys.
Later that night, Gordon, Robin, AJ and Paul sit at Don & Charlie's wolfing down the surf & turf over a couple bottles of Malbec with their wives.
"You guys hit the ball out of the park today, excellent execution as always, AJ. It was admittedly bush league but whatever, that sac of shit is filthy fucking rich...Paul...Gordon...I think you might have learned something from Oz after all. That acting job was of Golden Globe quality. Way to go to bat for the team, everyone thinks the injury came completely out of left field but in reality we were able to get Alex out of left field, thank Christ," quipped Robin, right off the bat.
"I'll take the award for Best Supporting Actor, chief," smiled Paul.
"I wuddnt actin' guys, those tears were fer real, boys. Let's get ur done this year, huh? It was my turn tuh step up to the plate for once, boys. Its time to spend all my time worrying about Gordon Beckham not some lunatic manager"
Paul puts a hand on Gordon's shoulder, patting it gently saying, "So far, you're batting 1.000 this year Gordon...you're batting 1.000. Looks like nice guys don't finish last after all."
SouthSideSox is a community driven site. As such, users are able to express their thoughts and opinions in a FanPost, such as this one, which represents the views of this particular fan, but not necessarily the entire community or SouthSideSox editors.
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I'm finally over Dave Martinez
I want to see what the identity of this team looks like under Robin.
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
Did you know Aaron Rowand was our supplemental pick for letting Dave go back in the day?
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
I learned this today whilst researching.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'"
Hey man, I was the most vocal around here about disliking the Ventura hire
I just think that the marked contrast between Ventura and Guillen will be enough to see some improvement from some guys and certainly the younger players may fare better under his tutelage. Although, I realize that same contrast would be present under a Dave Martinez regime, I am not going to cry over spilled milk any longer. BUT I WILL TELL PEOPLE THAT I TOLD THEM SO IF THINGS ARE WORSE!
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
ventura's performance at soxfest was enjoyable.
he’s certainly likeable. whether or not he can manage a team is still to be seen.
I'm getting the idea, although completely irrationally manufactured in my trauma filled brain, that the players will enjoy being around him and trust him completely
Like in Little League when you end up on the team with the young dad as the coach and every one of his players thinks he is awesome, they’ll do anything for him and he’ll develop an inner circle and that inner circle consists of the whole 25-man roster.
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
but remember the hiring process???
I’m just trying to get you fired up again…
Anyway, I’m not going to get anxious about it either. He’s our mgr, right or wrong, and he hasn’t screwed anything up yet. He’ll be totally fine, but Dave M is my guy (I’ve already screenshotted it)
Dave Martinez woulda had that.
KenWo has mentioned several times about how this team has had no personality what-so-ever
Maybe this is a time when players can actually start showing some personality because the megalomaniac is finally gone. Maybe now that people can start being themselves they can start playing like themselves.
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
ok, fine, he's yours.
I’ll take Rios. I’m pretty sure he’s no one’s guy currently.
*screenshot>
Alecks Rioes is going be 2012 Mr awesomeee guY. Bigtime super many homerun mang.
*/screenshot>
Dave Martinez woulda had that.
I'm going to Lids to get me a Rays hat after work
I already gots a buncha cow bells and purple wigs.
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
i always have kind of been a rios guy.
last year was tough though. i do think he’s a better bet to bounce back than dunn is.
Kenwo4life=ratings. Just call me Mr. USA Today.
Quick question: where is DM managing this year?
"People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage."
John Kenneth Galbraith
I'd like to apologize to the people who have already read this
I went back through and noticed a ton of grammar problems, mistakes, etc and so forth. I tried to fix them. Those 6 rec’s must have been sympathy rec’s.
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
brutal
for now on I’m emailing you anything I write before I post it. SSE where is the GIF of Rios’s ulnar ligament popping? In my English program I was more of an idea guy than proper grammar not fuck up guy.
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
or leave this on the coffee table as a warning:
http://www.amazon.com/Judge-When-Poor-Grammar-Disconcerting/dp/0312533012
I love seasons too. That's why I live in a place that skips the shitty ones.
then you should leave this on YOUR coffee table
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
Stupid work instead of being able to dick around and make lulzy .gifs all day.
Gonna be like that the next few weeks probably. Grrrrr.
by South Side Expat on Feb 2, 2012 5:18 PM CST up reply actions
This took place inside a snowglobe inside Paul Konerko's house, right?
I did not know Gordon Beckham was a Faulknerian Idiot Man Child.
I like it! It did a nice job of encapsulating that sense of anticipation. The old bullshit is gone. It may be replaced by new bullshit. But right now, the future is as wide open as the irrigated land outside of of a 16 thousand square foot house.
What?! I ain't no Professor Pickles!
by 67WMAQ on Feb 3, 2012 5:24 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
i've always wondered why it's called a dogpile.
also, i remember seeing rios beat the hell out of the ball in toronto and thinking, ‘man, it would be great to get this guy.’
DUNK HIS ASS
by obnoxious american on Feb 3, 2012 11:15 AM CST reply actions
exists, “Why is it called a dogpile”
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity
was musing, ethereally.
but now you’ve motivated me.
sometimes finding the answer is pretty disappointing.
DUNK HIS ASS
by obnoxious american on Feb 3, 2012 12:27 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah, if the answer was a pack of starving pitbulls fighting over a turkey leg it would have been better
It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity

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