SSS Mailbag

Depends.

West coast start time only means one thing. The mailbag has been a little light recently so be sure to get in your questions. Let's dive right into the questions we have.

The woeful minor-league system is imprinted with Ken Williams' signature. He gave guaranteed contracts to Osvaldo Martinez and Ray Olmedo, and they've proven to in a cumulative 19 years of pro ball they can't play, and they released a high AVG|OPB infielder in Alden Carrithers from AAA Charlotte at end of spring training (against the wishes of many in the organization) to make room for Martinez and Olmedo, who are confirming they can't play at AAA.

Williams is an obstruction to progress. And we'll have to watch his son's woeful play and attitude here in Birmingham another season.
Dave, Birmingham, Ala.

Dave, you're certainly focusing on the right things. Carrithers might be a name that only you know but that's because he's a real under-the-radar, horsecrap in the rough type and his quiet, unassuming affect is in stark contrast to that hot-shot Williams, who is always flashing his "bling", dining on lobster and listening to "rap" music. Carrithers is so unknown and quiet that no team in organized baseball has noticed that he's available. Rest assured, though, now that SSS is on the case, Google will pick up this massive news and he'll probably be playing in the majors with, like, the Rangers or Yankees in a few weeks.

My wife and I met you the other day at the Sox game against the Mariners. Thank you for being so nice and talking with us. The Sox are going to surprise a few baseball people this year. I like their makeup of personnel. My wife and I feel they will win at least 75 games, with a chance to win 82 with a lot of timely hitting. Dave, Oswego

You're welcome. I've been working on developing the skill of pretending like I care about people I'm talking to. It's nice to hear that I was able to pull it off, despite the difficult distractions of the foul odor emanating from your thrice soiled diaper and the bottom of the ninth of a perfect fucking game. You sitting stationary in your own filth for seven innings was not why Humber kept his perfect game. And, for the sake of the mail clerk at the Baseball Hall of Fame, I hope you did not go through with your plan to mail your piss and crap filled diaper to them to put on display.

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