"Boyr oh boyyer, Der Twain pluhay der sux tuhnurt. I Curn't wayrt der hop der twain to gurt to der gayme. Burt woherse gurnuh go wheat meer? I have nur frurnds urnd I wurnt turk der twain ahlurn! its too daynjurrurs wit der sux fayns uhrurnd. Ull phurn Bob and see if heer gour."
"Young Man, young man! Cool the engines.? I don't like seeing young men so blue. Would you like some Bit-O-Honey or a Wurthers perhaps?"
"Turnks, yurmmy. Aye hiv noer wurn tur go to der twains gayme wheath"
"Why I'll go with you you young man, let us not delay."
"Curn we tayke der twain?"
"Of course we can, lets hurry. The early bird slurps the worm is always what I have said.
"Alluhrite! New frurnds are der turps!"
"The stars are out and shining but all I want to know, oh won't you show me the way? Whats my destination? I hope you don't mind that I am a Sox fan?"
"Onlur if ur used to burd newrs."
On the way to the game something happened with the inferstructure....again and such or so on and so forth, etc...and the rich man and the ginger pubed Minnesotan were thrown from der twain but somehow survived as fate would have it.
It was such a cold April day that the only way they could keep warm was each others body heat so they cozied up next to each other on an abandoned couch and listened to the game on the old man's iPhone app. The Sox barely won and the old man in his glory decided in a victorious fervor to butt bang the Twain fan on the twain twacks in a multi-ironical fashion.
When the old man was done with what he found to be bobpuller after examining his wallet and finding a 4H membership card, he decided that he couldn't go down for man rape so he tied the poor son-of-a-bitch to the twain twacks and decided to allow the consistent Minnesotan inferstructure do it job.
Unfortunately, the money tycoon was being watched the whole time by a Minnesotan farmer watching in the bushes jacking off.
"Yur urn trubble!"
"Thats not what Benjamin Franklin thinks, now help me get rid of this body."
So the two men put the twain fan in a clear plastic garbage bag and pushed him off of the nearest bridge that had fucked up due to inferstructure.
But the Minneapolis police were watching the whole thing jacking off in the bushes so the old man was put into prison with Rod Carew to rot forever and a piece.