Halleluah, halleloooooahoooahuhhh..... This fanpost is for those fans that need someone to talk to about the inevitable topsy-turvy trepidations that await the White Sox fan base during the next 10 days. I am here to help. I will talk you off the ledge or I will help set realistic expectations. If a player fucks up, if Robin (ohhhh Robin..) does something that you don't agree with and find entirely unacceptable and egregious, if another SSSer is picking on you for being a gutless pussy, if you're ready to throw momma from the ledge, if you are absolutely positive Konerko is the worst at hitting RBI's and have to vent about how bad he sucks, if Ray Olmedo plays, if we go on a ten game winning streak and you bet your life savings the Sox win the World Series, if you base your thoughts and emotions on only the most recent of events, if you are beating your genitalia with a rolled up National Geographic after every loss, if you agree whole-heartedly with Hawk, if you are convinced Addison Reed shouldn't close games, if you keep repeating and regurgitating your prophacies and obsessive compulsive meanderings, if you hate yourself, your baseball team AND the division they are in.......i have the solution. Please sit down a while, take a load off, there, there now.....here's a hankerchief.
as we careen towards our most unholy of destinies and soon find out which timeline we are tightrope walking upon, if you see an SSSer wearing crazy pants, showing his/her loony tits, cutting themselves through typing or being unstable or unreasonable in any fashion..just direct them here. I will then either try to brainwash them, berate them or cure them through my one step program, that step is: fucking themselves. When ever I go fuck myself I always feel better about things. So lets say it all together, "Go fuck yourselves!" Its a mantra! Hahuhmmmmmmgofuckyourselfhaaahuhmmmmmgofuckyourself. There thats better. I shouldn't have to do this but I wish everyone luck over the next 10 days. Everything will be okay. Cheer up! Worry does not take sadness away from tomorrow, it sucks the joy out of today.
If we could somehow succeed in directing all the negativity, worrying and woe-is-meatude to this smsll corner of the universe perhaps we can all enjoy ourselves a bit more. Let close this session with two proverbs.
"Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow."
"every path has its puddle"
Please join me for the next service, tomorrow night at approx. 10:30 pm.