A Frick fit for a Hawk

Fair warning: this post is mostly going to be an analysis of how much I love Ken Harrelson, and his alter ego, the Hawk.

Wow. Where do I begin? Maybe I should just provide my thoughts in timeline form.

:00 - wait wut why is he wearing pink batting gloves?

When I first saw the artist "DJ Hawk Harrelson" flash in the corner music-video-style I mistakenly thought for an instant that "Feisty" Darren Jackson was going to join the party, and I scratched my head.

:04 - Yes folks, if there's any reason this man deserves the Frick award, its because he can chickenwalk with the best of them out there on the golf course.

:07 - White Sox highlights (if there are any) from the 2013 season should all be rendered in this manner. Misty, almost as they would appear to someone who is weeping uncontrollably due to the team's performance.

:09 - Commissioner Alan H. "Bud" Selig will always be famous for his decision to implement a yellow neon light bar across the outfield fence to make home run calls easier for the umpires.

:16 - [swings fist in a circular motion] gr- gr- grab some bench

:21 - Well if you somehow had any statistically-minded fans watching this video, they're gone now.

:23 - Yeah, you made more money shooting pool, playing golf, and arm wrestling... made more money than what? Obviously whoever edited this clip and thought enough of that line to put in the KA-CHING sound byte but didn't care to actually let Hawk's thought finish.

:28 - Disappointed in the "brutal call" line coming from any game BUT this one.

:38 - This is the biggest disappointment in the entire video. CRUCIAL omission of the rest of this line. As I recall, Hawk was pleading for a well-struck ball to roll around in the corner to allow someone to score from 1st. The ball disobeyed Hawk's command and bounced into the bullpen for a ground-rule double, denying the Sox a run.

The unabridged line would have been something like "DON'T GO OVER THE FENCE! It will. DAD GUMMIT."

:42 - Is that Hawk literally stretching? I don't understand.

:55 - Let's review: TWTW + Chickenwalk + golf = Ford C. Frick award winner.

1:11 - This is a very insincere copyright, MLBAM. I know you don't really want your name associated with this work. Yeah, I know, "the lawyers." But really, this is nothing worth copyrighting.

The Takeaway

I mostly just wanted to get a discussion going about The Hawk. Did you hear your favorite line? Any iterations they overlooked? I didn't hear "hang wiffum," and I would have liked to hear at least one reference to the catbird seat. There are a few other snubs and I hope someone will point them out - I don't want to take them all.

Plus the nicknames. So many nicknames from that man, and they'd rather include a record-scratch "p-p-p-p-put it on the board?" Well if nothing else let's talk about how this looks like a high school video editing effort.

thanks for reading my inaugural fanpost.

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