An important poll regarding Ronald Belisario

USA TODAY Sports

A reliever with a history of unintentional entertainment deserves some appropriate theme music

The non-tendering of Ronald Belisario came as a bit of a surprise to our friends at True Blue L.A.., and their perception of his value was validated somewhat when the White Sox swiftly swooped in and signed Belisario before the five-second rule applied.

Colin went over his history -- he was great in 2012, struggled in 2013, but has the stuff to return to above-averageness. Basically, the upside seemingly outweighs the downside of going year-to-year on a guy like him. The White Sox followed a similar line of reasoning when they picked up Matt Lindstrom's option earlier this offseason.

Then again, the Dodgers just might have gotten tired of him.

Belisario was frequently tardy to the clubhouse on days of games, particularly when the start time was early. [...]

The Dodgers tolerated him because when he pitched well, he was near unhittable. In his rookie season, in 2009, he posted a 2.04 ERA. He returned from his one-year exile in 2012 to post a 2.54 ERA in 68 games.

Belisario also never came across as malicious.

He was lighthearted and refreshingly candid. The only reason reporters ever found out he tested positive for cocaine was because he said it. Days after a violent brawl against the Arizona Diamondbacks, he was the only player to publicly state the Dodgers’ feud with their division rivals wasn’t over.

Somewhere, Mark Parent punches the air. For one year and $3 million, Rick Hahn might have purchased a lot more than he bargained for, and it could be fun for us.

Star-divide

Speaking of entertainment, the Belisario announcement automatically put the "Airwolf" theme stuck in my head, because "Ronald Belisario" always sounded like a lazy hotel check-in alias for famed TV producer Donald P. Bellisario.

This is going to keep happening, and I don't think it's a bad thing. A couple of Bellisario shows had great Mike Post themes (not to be confused with The Who's "Mike Post Theme"), and a couple others are amusing for unintended reasons.

At least one of these songs would make for some great bullpen entrance music, and it'd be a wasted opportunity if the U.S. Cellular Field game operations crew didn't jump on it. Ranking the eight Bellisario show themes in order from worst to best for baseball:

Not ranked: First Monday. I can't find a theme for this one. It was on for a dozen episodes in 2002, and it's apparently about the Supreme Court, so I imagine it's American symphony material, swelling strings and the like.

No. 7: JAG. A military theme doesn't seem appropriate for a guy who struggles getting up early, and "JAG" seems like an even worse idea for a guy with a history of cocaine use.

No. 6: NCIS. "Your call is important to us. Please remain on the line until the next available representative can assist you." Then again, perhaps hold music is the right call for a middle reliever.

No. 5: Tales of the Gold Monkey. 67WMAQ brought up this Indiana Jones knock-off last night, and likewise, the theme song doesn't compare to a John Williams score. There's no melody. There's no punch. It just kinda meanders.

No. 4: Quantum Leap. Irony points for sounding ridiculous in the context of a big-game situation, because it's more appropriate for Home Shopping Network bumpers after the opening sound effect. Besides, the guys at the 35th and Shields podcast already used it to recap Kenny Williams' winter during the 2009-10 offseason.

No. 3: Tequila and Bonetti. If you're rewarding irony, "Quantum Leap" can't compare with this mess. From the opening credits, this looks like the unholy spawn of "Turner & Hooch," "Silk Stalkings," "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" and a community college promotional video. Did I mention the dog speaks jive?

No. 2: Airwolf. One of two legit options, and especially appropriate if he could enter the game from a helicopter.

No. 1: Magnum, P.I. I'm a little jaded with this one, because I listened to it dozens of times over six hours while compiling the video below. But there's a reason I picked it when looking for a way to punch up unwatchable video, so I don't think I can deny it the top spot.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join South Side Sox

You must be a member of South Side Sox to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at South Side Sox. You should read them.

Join South Side Sox

You must be a member of South Side Sox to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at South Side Sox. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker