We are being watched. Judged. Loved and decried without our knowledge. Considered for damnation without our consent.
You know this, of course, to a degree. You may have used the human-generated internet in your time, and what with national security concerns at stake, everything we do is subject to review and dissection by persons-based bureaucratic entities. Of course. As ethically cloudy as these passive intrusions may be interpreted, there is a separate, perhaps more sinister Authority out there. It lurks in every corner of our fair site; it's behind you and on your screen at the same time. When I first became aware of The Ghost I was unnerved, at least. I pen this warning in disregard of my own sanity and safety.
To maintain site security and allow our analysts to work unencumbered, not all information can be released. Here's what the SSS Intelligence Division is willing to share with the general public: We have been infiltrated. There is an entity, a member of our community since August of 2009. In the last four years, this force, posing as an individual human, has flagged 51 comments for various reasons, while dishing out 1,628 recs. As far as we know, The Ghost has not developed it's own cognizance, which would explain the complete lack of commenting since infiltration. This low-level activity may seem innocuous, but SSS ID treats potential threats very seriously. Frankly, we're not sure what we're dealing with here; we only know there must be a higher purpose for the existence of the being. Some analysts have alluded to us, the Community, as pawns of The Ghost in an unknown game, our existence necessarily linked to that amorphous entity. The SSS High Council would advise you to watch your step if they knew specific conditions or circumstances in which a warning would be desired. As of now, Condition Grey will remain in effect; if you see something, say something.
While many commenters would dismiss any interpretation of known facts as pure conjecture, the SSS ID Committee on Apparitional Affairs has, since the discovery of The Ghost, put together a package that could reflect what may be the "life" of a human incarnation or even a real humanoid partner. This "other" entity is thought to live in or around Chicago, but North Dakota or Florida could also be in play. It's thought to be in the form of a male, age unknown, occupying a basement or other windowless structure, using a dial-up connection to exert influence. Evidence has been found to suggest they use the first name "jim," or "bob;" apparently The Ghost's human-type incarnation has trouble using capital letters. Classified information has revealed references to legal and moral preoccupation, meaning that "larry" or "craig" cannot be ruled out. The CAA has also suggested that there may be a type of internet propriety courtroom set on the premises in which comments and articles are deemed fit or unfit. We are unsure of the criteria of fitness, or the consumer of determined content. Some senior analysts have even suggested that, due to the high proportion of flags given under the label of "troll," The Ghost may actually be a benevolent demigod, watching over SSS with our own best interests at heart. One analyst even suggested that it was Paul Konerko, afraid and insecure for his own mortality. The High Council prefers to take a more cautious approach, with your safety in mind; no one can know anything for certain, so it's best to stay on alert.
To date, SSS self-policing has been an effective deterrent to forces unknown. Again, while danger isn't necessarily imminent (though it might be; you never know), the Intelligence Division recommends looking out for some possible indicators of judgemental lurking or third-party damnation. Please be wary of an unfunny or unhelpful comment, often apropos of and in reference to nothing, with a single rec. A comment of such nature may indicate that The Ghost is currently passing judgement. Beware of incoherent Fanposts or even mythical Fanshots from uninitiated members of the Community, especially ones with a single rec. It's also possible that The Ghost has largely-incompetent human help, which is used to prod us into action that demands judgement. We don't know what that would mean, but beware and avoid such postings. Also, dick jokes, soccer references, Holocaust allusions, and any mention at all of "that's what she said" should not be taken lightly. Be vigilant. Very, very vigilant. Check over your shoulder periodically while using your internet device. Delete all emails that contain names without proper capitalization. Divorce your wife if she happens to hear of SSS. Unplug your computer or break your smartphone over your knee after commenting. These practical steps keep us all safe.
Thank you for your continued loyalty as we combat these dark forces of which we know so little.